Hunters
Written by Jasmin.
132 posts.
18 years old.
in looooove.
I am Female.
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Post by Jade Little on Jan 22, 2023 20:58:56 GMT
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Hunters
Written by Jasmin.
132 posts.
18 years old.
in looooove.
I am Female.
|
Post by Jade Little on Jan 22, 2023 22:15:13 GMT
Four years out of Beacon Hills. Four years to mend that fragile, splintered heart of hers. Four years to feel like enough. Four years to forget that laugh, that smile, that damn charming accent and the way she felt like honey around him.
Him. No one in particular. A face blurred in her mind. Blocked. Forgotten. But not forgiven. How could she? Better yet, how could he? How could they? The other half of her had become a distant memory. Far more difficult to forget and a much bigger hole to try to fill but she’d made progress. It had been so small at first she’d barely noticed but a roommate turned into her best friend, and the girl she sat next to in her class became her go-to person to update, and that group project in Sophomore year had become her new family.
There were people she missed. Eli. Sabrina. Imogen. Rose. The people who had rallied around her when she’d felt so alone. So broken and in agony. That never-ending dark night where she’d just laid in Rose’s bed, the other girl perched on her desk chair, watching with such concern that the look had shattered something in Jade. There was a refusal after that to allow herself to be hurt again. She wouldn’t put her heart in that position. She’d protect it with her life. No matter who or what tried to steal it away. A decision which probably led to her pushing Eli away. Her heart still clenched when she thought about him. How sweet it could have been. But she’d been scared to try again especially with someone who felt so connected to it all. After all, he was part of the reason she’d found out. Who knows, if they’d never become close maybe they wouldn’t have slipped up and Jade would have never known. She could have remained blissfully ignorant. There were parts of her that still clung onto that rage she’d felt when she’d realised. It had crystallised into something sharp and pointed, a drop of poison straight into her bloodstream whenever she felt like giving up. Whenever that final mile felt too far or that next drink like one too many. Drip, drip, drip it went. Fuelling the good and the bad. The memories and the bad decisions. So many bad decisions.
She’d become someone else. Precious Jadey baby was gone.
“Jay, you ready?” Jade’s backpack slung across her shoulders, boots dusty and head covered in a cap which had probably absorbed about a bucket of sweat by this point.
“All packed,” she said, stepping up to Nora’s side as they both glanced around the campsite, content they’d remembered to pack everything. “You alright to drive?” They’d had a late night, up until the early hours as they tried to remember star constellations and psych each other out with spooky stories. Jade’s had a way of telling particularly convincing tales which had resulted in her being forced to play big spoon.
Nora had been her freshman roommate. She’d arrived late in the afternoon right around the time Jade was worrying that she’d already been abandoned and would have to face an empty bed every night. But then Nora had flung open the door with a single suitcase and a plant and said “I have nothing to live with, lets go shopping.” Jade hadn’t had any choice, or any other plans. As they’d marched up and down Target carrying bedding, towels, decor and whatever else Nora had deemed necessary between them, Nora had immediately opened up. "I was dating this guy, for like, five years but he thought I should stay in our backwards little town in the middle of nowhere so I dumped his ass because hello? I’m not giving up New York for some guy. But that was literally only two days ago and he was meant to help me move so I had to come by myself since my parents are away for work. So here we are, becoming besties but enough about me, I noticed your side of the room looked a little bare bones, too.” Jade had spilled everything that night, a conversation that took well until the sun was coming up again to pick their way through. Nora was outraged, naturally. Jade had to stop multiple times for crying too hard. But she’d felt so safe with the other girl who was so utterly far away from Beacon Hills and that town where everyone seemed to know them. Nora had become an instant crutch. Their arguments never lasted more than an afternoon before the other needed to say something which put their entire squabble behind them. She was the only person Jade would have been willing to go on this trip with. A cross-country journey to take in various National Parks and other stops where the girls would oh and ah before taking an impromptu photoshoot. “We’re the worst,” they’d both say but Jade had never felt more content. They’d just graduated. They both had jobs waiting for them on the East Coast but they didn’t start until the fall. The summer was theirs.
“So funny,” Nora said with a smirk, chucking an arm around Jade’s shoulders and rubbing the side of her cap with her knuckles. “I don’t trust you driving anymore.” See, Jade had eventually decided to learn to drive. She’d practiced in the summer between Freshman and Sophomore year, Nora, Mason and Kate taking it in turns to be the brave instructor in the passenger seat whilst they all spent the summer hiding away in upstate New York at Kate’s family home. The air had been so cool and fresh up their, the nights crystal clear and the days felt endless. So much of that summer had been about processing what happened. No more ignoring the past. Slots was brought to the surface. And so was he. It was then that she’d stopped naming him, all part of the process to forget the details that she’d fallen in love with. There was no going back. She’d never have to see him again. Her parents were well aware of her resolve to not return. After a while they’d stopped reaching out as much. Their absence hadn’t stung as much as she’d anticipated. Not when Rose would regularly send her messages or call her with Alex, Natalia, Sam and Max often stepping in to say hello and see how she was doing. A different sort of family. The Harpers had a way of collecting strays.
“I went in the wrong lane once after driving for six hours straight,” Jade responded, voice lower than it had been in the past. That mask that she’d held so delicately in place having slipped away years ago. God, it was weird when she thought of it like that. But that was the point, she didn’t think about it. Even here, in Texas. “That’s really not that bad.”
“I saw my life flash before my eyes and yes, whilst in it, I’d married fabulously wealthy and lived in some overly large house by the sea with a few kids who were taken care of by the nanny, that doesn’t mean I want to die so that heaven is the only place I can experience that,” Nora prattled on, unlocking the car and adding her bag into the trunk nestled amongst all the camping gear which they’d already loaded in.
“You think you’re going to heaven?” Jade quipped back, sliding into the passenger seat and removing her cap to massage her scalp. She was in serious need of a hot shower and about ten bottles of shampoo.
“Oh, ha ha, very funny. You won’t be laughing when I don’t let you live in my guesthouse.” Nora’s door slammed shut, key turning in the ignition and Jade immediately fiddled with the AC so that it was blasting her in the face. She felt coated in sweat, dirt and who knows what else. At least the cool air eased some of the sunburn she’d picked up.
“Okay, I take it back. I’ll let you drive so that I can live vicariously through you when you become my top lawyer friend.” Jade relinquished, toeing off her shoes as she pulled her legs under her.
“I think you mean best friend,” Nora responded, pointing a finger in Jade’s direction which Jade grabbed and attempted to bite. “Get off, you probably have rabies. I saw the guys you were getting with in New Orleans.” The car was moving then, the radio struggling with forming a strong signal out here.
“I blame the moonshine for that so I really can’t be held responsible.” Jade lamented but she dropped Nora’s finger, turning her attention to the road ahead of them. Still early in the morning, there weren’t many other cars around. Jade struggled with the start of each journey, they could feel so never ending. Something about them took her back to that moment she’d opened the door and discovered them and- no. Her mind clamped down, hand fiddling with the radio controls whilst Nora struck up conversation about where they could find food and how she was in the mood for about five different meals.
Miraculously, after three weeks on the road, they hadn’t run out of things to say to each other. Once the radio finally settled on a connection, which to Jade’s horror seemed to only be country songs which Nora somehow knew every word to and performed the whole way, the journey to Houston went by pretty quickly. “That shower tonight cannot come soon enough,” Nora announced as they pulled into their hotel’s parking lot, the sun high in the sky and the city alive around them as they hopped out of the car.
“Tonight? Nora, we’re getting in there straight away, I’m fairly certain the waitstaff at that diner only offered us additional food to take away so that we would leave sooner,” Jade replied as they pulled out their rucksacks and the suitcases they’d managed to slot underneath everything else.
“We,” Nora said, volume far too high and full of laughter that a passerby glanced their way before frowning. “Oh, oh, no Jade, do I look gross?”
Staring at her friend for a second, Jade shook her head because Nora could never ever look gross. The girl always had guys tripping over themselves for a chance to even say hello. But, to be fair, at that very moment, she’d certainly had better looks. “One after another, idiot, and I’m not going to answer that.” Nora just rolled her eyes, slinging a strap of her bag over her shoulder and making a beeline for the front door.
Jade followed a beat later, a precautionary glance around and wriggle of the door handles to ensure that the car would be safe and sound. She couldn’t ignore the way her hair stood on edge a little more or how her fast her heart seemed to beating. She’d blame it on the heat. On being in a new city. Nothing else. Not him.
All checked in, Nora and Jade were sat in their separate single beds, both covered in towels with their hair air drying, the TV showing some reality show which they absently watched whilst flicking through their phones. Companionable silence. Until, “no driving tomorrow, so we should hit a bar,” Nora said, glancing up from her phone.
“Sure thing,” Jade agreed, swinging her legs off of her bed and pacing over to the window to glance out at the Houston skyline. The sky was so incredibly blue, so perfectly still without a cloud in the sky. Below people milled about, Jade’s eyes kept snagging on anyone in a flannel shirt, her heart stopping for just a moment before she clocked what she was doing and forced herself to look away.
“Jay, you okay?” Nora asked, pressing mute on the remote so that the room was only filled with the ambient white noise of the AC unit. Jade turned, looking at her friend and folding her arms across her chest, hair in wet strands across her shoulders. “We can stay in, if you want?” Nora offered but Jade was quick to shake her head.
“No, it’s fine. Nothing to worry about.” Jade replied, perching on the edge of Nora’s bed and offering her friend a reassuring smile. “I’m good.” They’d had this chat whilst they were planning their route through the country. Nora had suggested they skip Texas entirely but then they’d have been heading into the middle of the country which was an area Nora also wanted to avoid. Jade had protested that she’d be fine for ten minutes before Nora pencilled Houston in as a stop for a couple of nights. The rest of their time in the state would be long drives followed by a few hours of sleep in a motel before they got to White Sands in New Mexico.
“Well, just in case, we’ve got to look so drop-dead gorgeous that the men will be on their knees begging for a shot,” Nora said, deadpanned in the face but her eyes were laughing and so was Jade, batting her friend's leg playfully.
“I’ll just be on wingwoman duties tonight. I’ve been with a cowboy before and it’s not for me,” Jade said and whilst her laugh was still there, a seriousness clouded her eyes which Nora noticed immediately and grabbed Jade’s hand with both of hers.
“I’ll make you the sexiest wingwoman around.” Nora said solemnly and it was enough to send them both into fits of laughter again.
Darkness was beginning to creep through the horizon, bleeding the sky from its azure to a more peaceful purple when Nora and Jade left the hotel. They’d only packed a limited amount of going out clothes so it was a repeat of outfits from before, with Jade in a light grey wrap dress and a pair of flat sandals whilst Nora strolled by her side in a longer red dress. “Is this too fancy for Houston?” Nora asked, looping an arm through Jade’s who was busy looking at the maps on her phone in an attempt to steer them towards what was meant to be a good bar.
“Definitely but I think the sneakers tone it down,” Jade replied, slipping her phone into her bag and knocking her shoulder against Nora’s. “But you wanted to be drop-dead gorgeous so we’re just making sure that happens.”
“All wise words,” Nora said, scanning the streets around them to check what other people were wearing. “Seems to be a bit of a mix so we’re fine.”
“And who cares if we’re not? We’ll never see these people again.” Jade reminded her, making sure they turned left at the traffic lights.
“Except Kate and Mason tomorrow,” Nora said, excitement peaking in her voice and Jade knew why, the two of them exchanging a secret smile. Mason had told them months ago that he planned on proposing to Kate during the summer and had confirmed just before the left that he’d do it on their final day in Nashville which Kate had been begging to go to from their first date. The two of them would be flying down to meet Jade and Nora for a couple of days before they parted ways once again. But that and the proposal were both surprises. Nora had been struggling beyond words to hold it whilst Jade remained calm and far too comfortable with pretending she had no idea. That, had become a habit, she’d felt herself become the liar. Yes, I’m fine. No, it’s okay. There’s nothing to worry about. When, in reality, there was everything to worry about. That poison in her could only last so long but even then, did she want to keep poisoning herself with that resentment and that bitterness? She’d infected herself. Happy and at peace around her closest friends, able to smile and enjoy her time. But she wasn’t over it. She saw no way in being over it.
She was over him.
But the situation? Never.
Her mask was gone in terms of making sure people liked her and masking her own feelings for the benefit of others. Nora, Kate and Mason had endured her through a number of grey skies and choppy seas where memories of the past dragged her down. “Grey Jade Day” they’d whisper to each other. Jade hated it at first, that they saw her as something other than happy but the care they showed, Jade couldn’t describe it. How Mason with his floppy dark hair would sit by Jade, filling in crosswords and asking her for help with every single hint because he knew it was a good way to distract her. Kate would just grab Jade’s hand and starting painting her nails, practicing different shapes and techniques. Nora would sit next to her and poke her side until Jade snapped and then Nora would tell her that they were going out on a walk. Jade couldn’t guess - or wouldn’t want to even know - how many miles the two of them had walked. Half the time in silence. Half the time picking through whatever was bothering them. The walks worked both ways. A medicine that had led them to exploring most of New York’s streets by the end of Sophomore year.
But there were points where she hid away. She’d take the train to some distant town or out to the coast and stare at the passing landscape. That’s when the memories she forced herself to forget, to distort, to change into something horrible and tainted, would come and drown her.
Four years and she still only felt like enough half of time. Four years and her heart still wasn’t beating properly. Four years and she’d never had another boyfriend. Four years and that country accent had turned into something menacing and toxic but it haunted her dreams nonetheless. Four years later and she was still a mess. She was still running away from it like she’d run from the room the moment reality hit.
She’d run and run and run until her reflection felt different. Stronger, smarter, harder.
But not unbroken.
The days where she could forget his cologne or the way his lips lifted as he smiled down at her. Those were the good days. But the nights where she’d wake, his face clear as day in her mind, those were the bad days. The bad days had become less frequent but they still cropped up every now and then.
“Jade,” her name was drawn out, a hand flapping in front of her face. Blinking Jade caught sight of Nora’s face, concern crossing every one of her pretty features. “You went into walking autopilot there. Which would be fine if we were home but… we’ve never been here before.” Jade came to a stop, fishing her phone out from her bag and frowning. They were streets away from where they should have been.
It was all her fault.
“I’m sorry, I-”
“Nope, no apologies. Lets just go into the first bar we find and if you go into autopilot again, I’m taking you right back to the hotel,” Nora’s voice was firm, the girl knew that Jade wasn’t completely okay and she knew when Jade lied and pushed back that she was. Nora didn’t have any sisters of her own but Jade felt like one to her. If staying tucked away until Mason and Kate arrived was going to keep Jade happy, then Nora was fine to do that. There was an easy give and take between the pair. A compassion which had been there from that very first day of living together.
“Okay,” Jade said, lips pressing together and a deep sigh escaping her before she could hold it in.
“Or we go back now?”
“You can be such a mom,” Jade shot back, a statement she’d said to Nora time and time again. The girl had a habit of fussing, of stepping in when one her friends was about to go a step too far. Sabrina would have loved her. Jade’s heart squeezed. She’d tried to maintain that friendship but when Blake and Sabrina moved away, it became harder and harder to find time to connect. Eventually they just drifted apart. Jade just hoped she was doing okay, Sabrina had stuck firmly by her side when Jade had found out. She knew Sabrina had gone toe to toe with him on it, with Blake having to pull her away from the confrontation.
“I had to make sure you and Kate didn’t throw up in taxis for most of college from too many shots, I’m very comfortable in my mom shoes,” Jade smiled then, tension bleeding out from her. Taxis. College. New York. A world away from Beacon Hills. From thoughts of him.
“Well, maybe you’ll get to do that again tonight.” Nora groaned but she was pulling Jade along again, making a beeline for a bar across the street. Music was pouring out from the door, sounds of a busy crowd echoing within. The lights inside were dimmed, candles flickering from each table but a wall to one end of the bar leached colour through the closed door, flashing with a heavy bass echoing on the other side. “Is this a bar or a club?” Jade whispered to Nora as they approached the bar, Nora elbowing her way to the front with ease.
“I think it’s both,” Nora replied, flashing a brilliant smile which had gotten her into so many things and out of so many tough spots. “Two margaritas, please.” Nora asked, sweetness dripping off of her tongue. Jade had to glance down to hide her laugh, this routine was another well practiced one but… margaritas? From the get go? It was growing increasingly unlikely that Jade would be waking up without at least one regret tomorrow.
“Add them to my tab,” Jade glanced up, looking sideways across the bar to a guy in his mid twenties and yep, a flannel shirt (classic) smiling across at them. Jade returned a tight smile, placing a hand on Nora’s shoulder who also gave the guy a quick smile. Their goal was always to keep interactions short and sweet and, most importantly, to move deeper into the bar as quickly as they could.
“Thank you,” they both said in unison as their drinks were placed in front of them, the thanks going to both the bartender and the man who had paid. Jade peeled away, one hand stretched backwards which Nora grabbed onto as they weaved their way through different groups of people, finding a quieter section of tables and chairs towards the far side of the bar, away from the the pounding music of the club on the opposite side.
“Okay, cheers to a successful trip so far and only one breakdown each,” Jade said, raising her glass and clinking it against Nora’s before they both took their first sip. Jade’s nose wrinkled at the bitterness and the salt against her lips. “Never gets easier,” she complained as Nora laughed. The night continued in the same way, they’d go to get a drink, someone would pay and they’d run away. Jade had felt guilty for it at first but after a few interactions with creeps over the years she’d settled down, happy to let them think they were going to get lucky and then disappearing to never be seen again. Mason called them the disappearing darlings, Jade had recoiled the first time he’d said it, not used to hearing that word from anyone else. "Always will, darling” and what a fucking lie that had been. Over time, she’d grown fond of it, Mason gifting them matching t-shirts with it last Christmas which they’d proudly worn out in the spring.
Four drinks in and the room was feeling a little fuzzy. The night had pulled in completely, a sheet of black painting the sky through the glimpses Jade had outside the window when they were strolling about. The bar was even busier now and it was becoming increasingly difficult to navigate their way through the throngs of people, their holds on one another growing tighter. Fingers interlinked and tugging. Four drinks down meant they were both in the mood to dance. On slightly stumbling feet they crossed to the far side of the bar, the door pulled open for them and onto the dance floor they went.
The first thing that hit Jade was the heat, it felt about ten degrees too hot inside and there was barely any room for them to step into but Nora always had a way of finding a pocket of space. Led into the middle of the room, the lights flashed around them as they danced to the music, which, to Jade’s relief, wasn’t just country songs. Her skin was on fire, her dress sticking to her but with alcohol fuelling her, she could have danced on and on and on. It was only when she felt a sudden and incessant vibrating in her bag that she paused, finding her phone in her bag through the haze and realising it was Kate trying to video call her. “Nora, Nora,” the words were more slurred than Jade would have wanted to admit but she shook her phone in front of her friend, showing her who was calling. With a nod, Nora was leading them back off of the dance floor and towards the slightly calmer energy of the bar.
Jade managed to accept the call just as it was about to go end, the two girls propped against a wall with the volume on max. The first thing that greeted them was a beaming Kate, a sparkly ring on her finger with Mason’s arm wrapped around her shoulder. As if on cue, all three girls started to squeal, attracting the attention of multiple customers. Jade didn’t look up to pay attention to who it was. She’d barley given much mind to those who bought their drinks, let alone anyone else.
“Jade,” her name came booming through the speakers and Jade laughed, holding a finger up to her lips to shh her friend as if she couldn’t just turn the volume down, “NorNor,” Nora was grinning, excitement bubbling over. “I’m engaged!” Kate’s voice was the happiest, most elated, most joyful Jade had ever heard and her cheeks almost hurt from how wide her smile was. Her finger dropped, fully focused on Kate as she wiggled her hand at the camera.
“It’s so pretty,” Nora said, eyes practically heart shaped as she nodded approvingly.
“Well, I did have some help,” Mason chimed in, poking his head into frame, his smile just as beaming. Jade’s heart swelled, love for her friends pouring out as she watched Mason place a kiss against the side of Kate’s help.
“You two knew?” Kate asked, her mouth going wide as she tried to pretend to be betrayed but her grin wouldn’t allow for a serious look to last more than one microsecond.
“We pointed him in the right direction,” Jade confessed, placing a hand on Nora’s shoulder to stabilise herself.
“Oh my gosh, I’m amazed you managed to hold it in but we’ve gotta go, I just had to tell you-” Kate’s goodbye was cut off as a bartender came over, a flute of champagne in both hands. Jade glanced at him and then the two glasses which Nora was already gleefully taking. “What is it?” Kate asked, noting how they’d both been distracted.
“Champagne from the group over there,” the bartender said, Jade spun her phone to show him to Kate and the bartender added, “congratulations,” which was met by gracious thank yous from Kate and Mason.
“Okay, well, we now need to go have celebratory champagne but I’ll call you first thing tomorrow. Love you girls!” Kate said, waving warmly at the camera as Mason did the same.
“Love you,” Jade and Nora chorused. Passing a flute to Jade, Nora clinked her glass against Jade’s but Jade was distracted, peering at the group who had paid for their drinks. How had they heard what the call was about? Jade had only just been able to make out what Kate was saying besides their names. There was a frown on her face but she passed it off as being overwhelmed by it all. Someone in the group shifted, moving to stand up and-
Jade’s heart dropped.
The champagne trembled in her hand.
Him.
“Wanna dance again?” Nora asked, having paid no mind to where their drinks had come from and itching to get back into the crowd of people on the other side of the wall. She’d been another song away from getting with some guy.
“You go, see if that guy’s still there, I’m just gonna step outside for a second,” Jade said, fingers so tight around the stem of her glass that she wasn’t sure how it hadn’t shattered. Like her heart. Because it was splintering right then and there. Stitches falling about.
“Sure?” Nora asked but Jade knew her friend was desperate to go back inside.
“Positive, if you don’t find him, I’ll just be out there otherwise I’ll be back in ten.” Jade promised and with a nod of her head, Nora was swallowed up by the crowd.
Against the wall, Jade attempted to steady herself, every sip of alcohol she’d taken suddenly feeling like the worst idea she could have had. She’d not seen him since she’d run away from his house, Sabrina being a getaway car when Jade had barrelled down the stairs and out the front door, nearly knocking her sideways from where she’d been about to go inside. “Can you drive me?” Jade had asked, her words laced with panic and so much pain. She'd thought she was going to throw up as Sabrina pulled away. “Do you know where Rose lives?” Sabrina had nodded, remaining quiet as she sensed the devastation wrecking Jade from the inside out. “Did you know?” Jade had asked, the words quiet but cutting. Sabrina had clocked then what happened - it hadn’t been some terrible argument. No, he would have gone after her if that was the case.
“No, I suspected at one point but Jensen,” Sabrina had sighed, slamming a hand against the steering wall. “I’m going to rip into all of them.” She’d said and then silence had descended in the car but chaos had unleashed itself in Jade’s brain. Who knew? How blind had she been? “Jade, I’ll make sure he knows what you’re feeling.” Of course, Sabrina could sense it all, Jade’s eyes had stayed fixated on her hands in her lap. They'd continued shaking. Her heart ripping itself apart, again and again and again, replaying what she’d seen.
“I don’t want to see him ever,” Jade had said and it felt like the first decision she’d made purely for herself in months. “Tell him not to talk to me. I don’t want to know.”
“Okay,” Sabrina had said after a minute and when Jade chanced a glance at her, she could see a single tear streaming down her cheek. She checked herself then, a hand resting on Sabrina’s shoulder. “I’m not the one who needs comforting.” Sabrina had said but she lifted one hand from the wheel and placed it over Jade’s.
Jade found herself mirroring that action now, her back to the group. Maybe she’d imagined it. Maybe her alcohol tolerance was far lower than she’d thought and she was hallucinating. Taking a breath, Jade knew she needed to clear her head. Stepping out the door, she kept her eyes down, one foot in front of the other, focusing her energy on not spilling her champagne. There was a small seating area out the front, Jade found an empty table, the night having grown cooler than most people had dressed for so it was deserted outside.
Placing the glass on the table as she took a seat, Jade buried her head in her hands, counting quietly in her mind. It couldn’t have been him. What twisted fate would bring her to the same bar as he was in a city full of places to drink in? Plus, he wasn’t even from Houston.
A slow exhale and Jade looked up, just in time for the door to swing open.
It was the amulet glinting around his neck from the light of a nearby streetlight that gave him away.
“Jade,” he seemed to whisper it as if he knew she was out there but couldn’t see her from the dimly lit corner she’d hid herself in. Her brain flashed back to her training, those weeks spent under the Harper roof until she could finally leave Beacon Hills forever had been useful in honing her skills as a hunter. She worked on lowering her heart rate, her motions reducing to basically zero. Blend into darkness, she begged her body.
Too late he looked her way then.
She’d forgotten what he truly looked like. Rose had told her that getting rid of pictures was the best way to heal a broken heart so she’d ceremoniously deleted them all from her camera roll. Well, Rose had deleted them whilst Jade had stared blankly at the ceiling of the Harper kitchen. She’d never been alone in that house. So many people were constantly coming in and out. Rose had been midway through clearing Jade’s phone when Alex and Max had come home, Alex instantly offering Jade a doughnut that he’d just bought but Jade refused, she'd barely been able to eat. It was Max who seemed to have a knack of keeping her going, he’d slid a glass of water in front of her, no words said before following Alex back upstairs. There was something about Max that Jade had felt obliged to consume whatever he gave her.
Metres away from her and his face was no longer a blur or something evil with horns and a jagged smile. It was him.
She had no words. Nothing to say to him that felt right. She’d backed herself into a corner, railing behind her that meant she couldn’t just disappear and, most importantly, she wouldn’t leave Nora behind.
“Jade,” he repeated and there was something in his tone she didn’t recognise.
Shame. Desperation. Frustration. She couldn't fully place it.
“You’re in Texas?” He asked but he kept his distance, hovering at the start of the seating area. It didn’t matter, she felt caged in anyway.
Silence. Her hands clutched the edge of her seat, ringing pelting out through her head.
“It’s me,” he added a beat later as if she could truly forget. Her mouth was partly open, an attempt to get more oxygen into her lungs. “Ashton.”
His name. God, her soul ached. Her heart turned to ribbons. She’d avoided saying it, avoiding thinking it or writing it down for years. Her friends used nicknames to describe him but there was an unspoken agreement to avoid those two syllables. Hearing them was like a stab in the chest. Something so painful and unforgivable that it shook her from her stupor. Her eyes cut to him then, two light blades driving into his heart.
There was no love there.
It was that poison. It fuelled her then as she stood up, champagne glass in hand, Ashton’s eyes followed her and he had the right idea to look a little worried as she approached him. Her gaze didn’t waver now, she didn’t shake as she noted that this was the closest they’d been to one another in four years. If he thought a fucking glass of champagne was going to ease over what he’d done, he was sorely mistaken. Jade passed him without a word, only slowing for a second to slam the glass into his chest, the liquid splashed but he grabbed onto it before it fell and smashed on the ground. Too bad he couldn't protect her heart in the same way.
Re-entering the bar, Jade’s head spun, the noise and heat dizzying. “Sorry, sorry,” a voice loaded with Southern twang filled her ears and she realised it was coming from the group who Ashton had been with. Tilting her head, she narrowed her eyes on the other four guys, not recognising any of them and being surprised by her disappointment that they weren’t her old friends. “My idea.” He said, holding his hands up in admittance. “Thought it’d be sweet.” He added, pulling a face which had Jade’s eyes rolling.
“He was too scared to say hello,” another tagged on, Jade’s eyes honed in on him, not a glimmer of humour on her face.
Plastering an entirely fake smile on her face, Jade said in the most sincere voice she could, “he should be” and with that she spun on her heel and walked away back towards the dance floor and to find Nora. Part of her had a good idea to leave but like hell was she going to end her night because he was here.
She was gone by the time Ashton stepped back inside, he looked toward his group in question of where she’d gone and they all just pointed towards the dance floor in silence.
Jade caught sight of Nora, her arms around the neck of the guy from earlier. The last thing Jade wanted to do was distract her now. Spinning in a slow circle, Jade spotted one of the guys who had bought them a drink earlier. Fine, she thought knowing she needed a distraction and that'd he be more than willing to oblige. Wow, Blake would be so proud. Or ashamed. Jade wasn’t sure which. She’d blurred a line in her morals at some point. Or maybe it was just growing up. Again, Jade wasn’t sure what the right answer was.
“Hey,” she said and typically it didn’t take much more than that. A few more pleasantries and then Jade was in his arms. She allowed herself to get swept away for a few minutes, music blurring into simple beats in the background when a tug came on her shoulder. Then another. And another. Each growing with insistency. Pulling away, Jade found Nora’s wide eyes looking behind her shoulder. Jade followed her eye-line in time to see Ashton approaching.
“Boyfriend of yours?” The guy asked. She hadn’t even bothered to get his name, or remember it, she couldn't remember which.
“Ex,” she and Nora said at the same time. Jade’s hand was wrapping around Nora’s, pulling the other girl close to her side. The flashing lights matched with each step Ashton took towards them.
He stopped a foot or so in front of her, having to be close so that the girls could hear. His attention settled on Nora and Jade protectively pulled the girl’s hand behind her back. Of course Nora had no idea about what Beacon Hills was really like and Ashton wasn’t about to cause a supernatural scene here. Jade hoped so anyway. “Nora, haven’t been introduced,” Ashton started but Nora was quicker.
“Not interested, goodbye.” Jade’s eyes flared wide and she couldn’t hold the laugh in. Turns out, she didn’t need to rescue Nora, her friend was adept at taking care of herself. “Pretty sure you were told to never talk to her, so, off with you.” Nora even went so far as to flap her hand to usher him away.
He didn’t budge.
No surprise there.
“Pleasure,” he responded, eyes swivelling back to Jade. She made an effort to not look too close, her gaze fixed on a point behind his left shoulder. “Five minutes or just, one word, Jade. You looked so happy, tell me you’re okay.”
Her heart betrayed her, her eyes cutting across to his. She couldn’t hide the line of tears along her lower lashes. She could feel Nora squeezing her hand, a reassurance that she was there mixed with a slight insistence that they should leave. “Jay, lets go,” Nora whispered, eyes shooting daggers at Ashton.
But, she couldn't.
“No matter how much guilt you feel, you will never understand. You destroyed me. You knew about my past and yet you kept going.” The first words she said to him. Cutting and unwavering. Lethally drenched in that tank of venom. A traitorous tear fell along her cheek. She didn’t give him the satisfaction of reacting to it. “I’ll give you five minutes if I never have to see you again.” She didn’t know why she said it and from Nora’s slight gasp her friend hadn’t expected it either. Jade wasn’t sure if she’d lost her mind. If it was all too much. Maybe it was the alcohol talking.
Maybe there was that little pocket of hope in her.
The antidote.
Maybe that that was why she’d offered him one final conversation.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
299 posts.
18 years old.
two timin' hoe.
I am Male.
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Post by Ashton Pines on Feb 7, 2023 15:07:56 GMT
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
299 posts.
18 years old.
two timin' hoe.
I am Male.
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Post by Ashton Pines on Feb 7, 2023 18:18:38 GMT
“I’m sorry.”
The words tumbled out in a slithering spew of guilt. They were quick and rushed and desperate. Like if he didn’t say them now, he never would get the chance—she hadn’t given him a chance that night four years ago. He needed them off his chest and in the air, needed her to hear them even if she didn’t believe them. He blinked quickly, lashes batting back a swell of emotion he knew he should have expected. Jade. She was really here. After all of this time. God, he never thought he’d see her again. Not in person, at least. He refused to admit how many times he’d drunkenly searched her name on Instagram, stalking her pretty smiles and cheery posts. She seemed happy. Or at least, she had been portraying happiness. He’d always liked to think in those moments that she was, that he hadn’t broken her completely. He’d scroll until he reached a post he’d already seen or until his fingers became too slippery with the tears that dripped on the screen and he risked accidentally liking a post—whichever came first.
He looked at her now, the glittering green of his eyes shimmering in the strobing lights of the club. His heart pounded in his ears, drowning out the thrumming music and constant chatter. His focus was on Jade. All Ashton saw was Jade—reading her face, waiting to see how she’d react.
What are the fucking odds? He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hands tucked in his pockets to keep them from wringing in front of him—to keep him from reaching out for her and stroking his knuckles across her rosy cheek. To make sure she was real, more than anything. Jesus Christ, she was gorgeous. He kept his eyes on hers, knowing if he let his gaze drop below right now to take her in, he’d lose this slim opening she was offering him. Besides, Jade had grown confident in herself. He knew exactly what she looked like, her scantily-clad bikini pictures a real fucking gut-wrenching reminder of what he’d lost. He blinked slowly, taking the pause as she was blocked out of view to scold himself. She was more than her body and he knew that. Starting off this conversation with even the thought of her body was putting the wrong foot forward first. That’s how he’d lost her, his teenage brain caught on the glamor of looks instead of the heart in her chest.
As his eyes opened, there was a softness in them. Sorrow and guilt and embarrassment. He wanted to tell her why he’d done it, wanted to spill all of these secrets he’d held onto. He was selfish enough to do it, too—to drag that night back to the forefront of her mind to relieve his own pain.
Part of him hoped it would help her too.
She hadn’t moved on. He had never expected her to, but looking at her now? He could see it in her eyes, in the way she was postured—he could smell the resentment curdling off of her in sickly waves. Ashton tried not to react, but it was impossible—flaring his nostrils to flush the scent out and tilting his head to the left just enough to let his hair fall across his forehead. It was longer than he kept it when he’d been with her, shaggier and messy. A soft stubble lined his jaw, hiding the sharp corners of it as he flexed the muscles there—teeth clenched, swallowing hard. He looked older, the facial hair offering an air of maturity he knew he didn’t hold. Ashton briefly wondered if Jade liked it. If things were different, would she have run the pads of her fingers over his prickly cheeks on their way up to his hair, curling and tugging on the strands in a way she hadn’t been able to before? His fingers tightened into fists in his pockets, derailing that train of thought. Was he really still so enraptured with her? Still so in love?
Yeah. He was. There was no use in denying it. Not a day passed that she hadn’t been on his mind—a flash of her pretty smile, the whistling of her wheezing laughter, the feel of her as his fingers flexed around his—no, nope. Not doing that. Stop, Ashton. He missed her. Fuck. He missed everything about her. His spit hung heavy in his throat as he swallowed again, stuck on his swollen Adam’s apple.
He tried to look nonchalant, tried to play off her rage and Nora’s protectiveness like it didn’t bother him but it did. God, it did. He never thought that he’d come face to face with her again—that he’d have to see the misery and hatred at war in her eyes, a churning and restless ocean in her glare. Ashton couldn’t deny it now. He couldn’t pretend there was some sliver of good in him anymore. He’d convinced himself that it was a misunderstanding, that in some twisted way it hadn’t been his fault. But now? He dipped his head down, eyes falling shut as he let out a long, slow exhale. Now he knew he’d been the monster the whole damn time. He could say what he wanted, but it wouldn’t change the truth of what he’d done. Erin had kissed him first. Erin had snuck her hand into his jeans. Erin had begged and pleaded and was oh-so tempting, but Ashton could have said no. He should have said no. And yet? He kissed her back, unbuttoned his jeans, and he gave into her soft askings. He hadn’t started it, but he never tried to stop it. He was no damn better. Ashton couldn’t fool himself out of that reality any longer.
It was haunting. That night, the memory—it was a shadowed figure looming over his shoulder, a ghost clawing its cold fingers into the scruff of his neck. He couldn’t outrun that look in her eye. He couldn’t erase the harrowing howl that had slipped from her lips as she caught him tangled with her twin. The way she ran away. The way he stumbled out of bed and cracked his knees on the hardwood floor. The way he scrambled for his clothes and the way Erin hissed and cried at him and the way Jade was gone. He hadn’t seen her again. It was tortuous. It was hell. Ashton looked back up at Jade now, letting his eyes drag up the length of her—noting how she’s grown and changed (innocently, of course)—before they met hers once more. He parted his lips, ready to beg, but what was there to say?
He doesn’t know how she managed to avoid him for those last few weeks before she left for New York. Ashton would be lying if he said he sought her out, though. He couldn’t—how could he? His pride was wounded and his heart was broken and he didn’t have it in him to face what he’d done. He was a pussy, capable of sneaking around with her twin for nearly a year but couldn’t find the strength to look Jade in the eye after she’d caught him red-handed? Pathetic.
Ashton was a waste of a man. A hollow, pretty shell. There was nothing substantial within him. Tarnished goods and a void for a heart. Ashton was no good. Erin saw that. She’d been okay with it, had embraced his darkness in the same way he’d swallowed hers up with the seal of his lips over hers, but when Jade had shone that sliver of light she always brought with her upon their sins, Erin had recoiled from him. He had fooled himself into thinking he would have Erin when Jade found out. They’d whispered about it in the dark of night, sweat-soaked and panting. The promises were like a lullaby, a sugar-sweet song that hushed their worries of the fallout. When Jade found them, they’d still have each other. He doesn’t know why he was surprised when she didn’t stick to their pact. Erin was a filthy, lying bitch who was willing to sleep with her twin sister’s boyfriend, what did he really expect?
The blowout hadn’t been pretty. Erin had cursed his name, dragging Jensen and Murphy and Blake from their rooms with the viscous notes in her voice. Ashton had only stood there, letting her bang her fists on his chest and snap his head to the side with a ferocious slap. His eyes had been trained on the door until then, willing Jade to come back inside—to give him the chance to apologize, beg, say anything at all. She never did. Erin had been scandalous, in a lewd state of undress in his living room—his t-shirt just barely brushing the tops of her thighs, pretty lacy pants flashing the boys with each shove and push. She blamed him. Ashton blamed her. Neither could accept fault. When his gaze finally found hers, bristling with loathing and sorrow, he found tears in her eyes. He paused then, the reality of it all sinking in.
Jade was gone. Erin was going.
Ashton was on his own.
She left in a flurry of loose clothing and hissed curses. Ashton hadn’t seen either of them since that night.
Not until now.
He blinked slowly, closing his mouth as he fought to find the right words. His lip was caught between his teeth—rolling it before it bounced out from the hold, plumper than it had been before. The words were right there, but he couldn't get them out. He couldn't remove himself from his thoughts, from the grating flashbacks that flickered in his mind. He needed to face what he'd done before he said anything else.
When Sabrina had let it slip that Jade had left, a part of him shattered. It was two weeks after he’d lost his girls. He’d been maintaining his cool façade, acting as if he wasn’t wasting away in inner turmoil, but those few words had him torn at the seams. She’d said it cruelly, aiming to hurt. The morning after it all, his beta had torn into him worse than Erin had, dragging his ego through the mud in a way that he could never truly recover from. He doesn’t know if it was Blake who told her or if it had been Jade, but Sabrina was livid regardless. He’d let her say her piece, eyes far away as he solemnly nodded along to whatever she was saying. He didn’t listen. What she was saying didn’t matter. She was right and he hated it. He didn't want to hear it.
But that day…
When she’d rubbed it in that Jade was gone…
That’s when it hit.
Sabrina had been hanging off Blake’s arm, his friend’s eyes on the floor as he held his girlfriend in place. Ashton had already known that Blake wouldn’t choose him. His goddamn best friend swayed by a girl—he’d known the moment Blake had pulled him aside at the party at Eli's house. He shouldn’t have been as hurt by it as he was. What he’d done to the Little girls was unforgivable and he’d dragged Blake into that mess without a second thought. But still, knowing that boy he’d taken under his wing so long ago had turned his back on him, it burned. They were on their way out of his home, car packed to the brim and little Addie bundled up in the back. They were leaving, but Sabrina couldn’t part without those final words.
“She’s gone, you know,” she’d hummed and Blake had bristled. His eyes had raised to seek out Ashton’s, but the alpha wouldn’t look their way. He was frozen in place, half-turned towards them—his stare aimed somewhere out the window he was facing. “Jade left and you’re never going to see her again, Ashton,” she’d said sourly and Blake shook her arm slightly. Ashton saw it in his peripheral, heard Blake whispering that it was enough before saying his goodbyes louder. Jensen was already gone, moved out the week before to settle in his dorm. He’d been accepted for early entrance, always so eager to leave Beacon Hills. Murphy wasn’t home.
Blake had been careful shutting the door. Ashton had been ready for a slam, for the walls to rattle, but it was nothing more than a solemn click of the lock falling into place.
It was his undoing.
Like the strings tethering him to stability were sliced, he collapsed to the floor in a heap. He wailed, head in his hands as he cried and cried and cried. It was an odd twist of fate that he was alone, karma doing what she does best and dealing the dirtiest of hands to a sinner. What had he done? Why had he done this? He loved Jade. He never had the chance to say it, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t. Despite Erin. Despite the cheating. He knew he loved her. So what was the point? Why did he risk it? Ashton never got an answer. He never would.
He doesn’t remember picking himself off the floor, doesn’t remember finding his way into his bed. He doesn’t remember a lot of those following weeks.
College wasn’t enticing to the lost alpha, never had been. Instead, he took a page from Blake’s book. Murphy, his lone remaining beta, helped him pack his Jeep up for travel. They were Texas-bound. Ashton needed a purpose, he needed a distraction.
The years blended together. One into two seamlessly. Three into four and Ashton wished he wasn't still stuck in the past.
Adjusting to his role as true alpha of the Pines Pack had been daunting. He felt too young, too immature, but he hadn’t been alone. His old friends hadn’t moved on from the Sanctuary and he had Murphy at his side. Falling into the arms of his boys had brought the emotions swelling in his chest, tears welling in his eyes as it hit him. It’s only been just over a year. A year since he’d left for Beacon Hills. He’d been seventeen when his parents passed and he was on the edge of nineteen now. How had everything fallen apart so quickly?
Ashton would be lying if he said he moved forward. He had a hard time falling into the bed of other women after that fateful night four years ago, instead finding himself scrolling through Jade’s Instagram at the end of a long day. She was still who he turned to for comfort, soothing his frayed nerves as he zoomed in on her smiles and pretended they were meant for him.
Pathetic.
It was well into the second year on the Sanctuary that Jason and Mike brought up the idea of bringing their boyhood band back—a silly little gig they'd had when they were thirteen with spare time. Chris had laughed off the idea, but Robbie and Ashton had taken pause. Robbie was the smallest of them all, even shorter than Murphy and far more thin. He was smart and soft-spoken, but he loved to sing. His voice came second only to Ashton, who had always been a powerhouse of charm and twang and melodies. Chris, the oldest of the group, had manned the drums back in the day because he couldn't strum a guitar to save his life—he was so loud and outspoken and the drums were a perfect fit. Jason was a one-man band all on his own. Put an instrument in his hands and he could play it. Mike had always had a way with the keyboard, tickling the keys of a piano with ease—and being Jason's brother, it only made sense they both were musically inclined. With Robbie and Ashton on vocals and guitars, Chris, Mike, and Jason filled in the gaps. Murphy was a happy audience member. He had no desire to play, but found joy in watching his new friends and his alpha make fools of themselves as they practiced. It had only been for the hell of it, something to kill time in between their shifts at the cattle farm, but when the owner of a bar down in Houston caught Ashton and Robbie singing a passionate, albeit drunken, rendition of an old Garth Brooks song on a karaoke stage, he offered them a deal. He needed a band to play every other Saturday and if they agreed, they’d get publicity and an open bar. There was no chance in hell they’d turn it down.
That’s why he was here tonight. The boys had just finished their gig, drowning the post-show excitement with an endless supply of liquor. Murphy hadn't come this time around. He'd found a new guy who he'd taken interest in and was taking advantage of the time alone. The group had made a point of fucking with one another when they knew one of them had a partner around. They acted like children more often than not. He didn't know how they ever got anything done. Ashton had been nursing a beer, a smile wrapped around the open mouth of the bottle as he watched his friends dig into each other. Chris, handsome but dumb as a bag of rocks, had forgotten to plug his drums into the sound system so the first half of their set had muted hints of percussion instead of the world-moving volumes they’d gotten used to. Jason, tall and long-haired and mature, was shaking his head as Robbie snickered under his breath. Mike, shorter than his brother but sporting an almost identical haircut to Jason's, was recording the bickering for his Snapchat story. It was easy. It was the freest he’d felt in a long time. Summer’s were hard for Ashton. Too much down time, too many good memories. That summer had been the last time life had been okay. Before that rogue pack, before Jade got hurt. Before he ruined it all.
Jason nudged his arm as he caught Ashton frowning down at his bottle and he was quick to shake himself from his thoughts and tune back in to the conversation.
Only, he didn’t.
He couldn’t hear what Chris’ excuse was or the way Robbie wheezed with laughter or Mike cackling as he posted the video.
He heard a voice in the crowd. He hadn’t meant to, but Ashton thinks that maybe he had always been listening out for her.
Jade.
His head whipped to the side, searching for her in the crowd. It was then that Jason picked up on it. He heard the name filtered through a tinny phone speaker and he reached out for Ashton who began to stand up—pulling him back down as the boys all settled down and listened in to a conversation no one else could hear but Jade and Nora. The boys knew them both, having grown familiar to catching Ashton browsing both of their pages after one too many drinks.
“Ashton,” Jason said slowly, a warning in his voice, “Leave it be.”
“You know he can’t,“ Chris, so much like Blake—an instigator—urged, “Dude. You know that.” Mike set his phone down, lips flattened into a frown as he watched his alpha carefully.
Robbie, like Ashton, was silent for a long moment before finally asking, “Are you okay?” His voice was soft, private for only Ashton. He reminded him of Jensen. A brother, someone who looked out for him. Ashton couldn’t move, eyes caught on the corner he heard the voice from. He was so zoned in to the conversation Jade was having that he didn’t catch Chris flagging down a worker and ordering a round of champagne for the girls. Jason scolding his friend brought him back, being rocked by the motion of Jason leaning over him to hit Chris upside the head.
“You fucking dumbass, why the hell are you like this?” Jason hissed as Chris chortled and Mike mimicked his brother in smacking the back of Chris' head. It was only Robbie who noticed Ashton rising to his feet once more.
He had to see her. Had to make sure she was okay.
The moment he finally spotted her, the seas of bodies parting long enough to spot the waiter bringing over their flutes, he gasped. It was a sharp, short, shaky sound as he pushed back from the table.
“C’mon, Ashton, don’t,” Jason pleaded, but it was too late.
Jade seemed to have spotted him and made her way outside. They couldn’t stop him from following her.
Nothing could have prepared him for the way she’d looked standing outside, for the way she’d pushed past him without a word.
When he'd gotten back inside, clutching onto the champagne flute she'd shoved at him and panting from his rush, his head swiveled in search for her. He thought he'd been fast enough, but she had been swallowed up in the endless mass of patrons. Without direction, he found himself back with his friends—Jason was taking the glass from Ashton's trembling hands and Robbie stared up at him with round, worried eyes. Chris was standing, eyebrows arched as he looked off into the crowd. It was Mike who spoke, standing just behind Chris as he said, "She's something else." Ashton snapped his head to him, then, stepping forward and knotting his fingers around Mike's wrist as he begged, "You saw her? Where did she go? Please."
All of the boys paused. They'd never heard that word from their alpha before. Robbie stood up then, pointing towards the club part of the bar as he said, "She went in there, Ash." He didn't wait for anything else to be said, just barely catching Chris hooting and hollering out a loud, "Go get 'er, cowboy!" There was a resounding smacking sound afterwards, he could only imagine it was Jason who'd tried to knock some sense into the boy again.
He'd found her in the crowd, the two of them still tethered in a way only Ashton could feel. Maybe she could too. Determined and anxious, he was not going to let this once in a lifetime chance slip through his fingers.
Nothing could have prepared him for this at all. He doesn’t know if he’s thankful for Chris opening his big mouth or not, but it didn’t matter because he was here now.
“I never got the chance to say it to you,” he finally got out, swallowing down the flashes of the past he’d re-lived as he took a stop closer, “But I am. I'm so damn sorry, Jade.”
He took his right hand from his pocket then, extending it to her and knowing she wouldn’t take it, but it was the act in itself more than anything. “Please,” he begged, something so foreign to him but he'd keep saying it for her. A man like Ashton didn’t have to ask for anything, he didn’t need to plead. But he’d get down on his damn hands and knees for Jade if she asked. He’d do anything to fix what he’d broken.
She had no idea what she meant to him.
“Please,” he repeated, batting his lashes quickly to flush the tears back, “Let’s talk outside. Just five minutes, but let’s talk outside.” He needed her to hear him, to be one on one to get out what he needed to say. This music was too loud and the lights too violent on his senses. Ashton didn't know what he looked like just then, but he knew must appear desperate if she was giving him the tiniest of chances to speak to her. He shuffled his feet nervously as he waited for her to decide. His jeans were ripped at the knees and his flannel hung open atop his white V-neck. His amulet sparkled on his neck as he ran his other hand through his hair, pushing the tawny locks back from his face. He was fidgeting, so far from the cool-calm-collected boy she'd known.
But fuck, Ashton wanted to do this right. He needed to.
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Hunters
Written by Jasmin.
132 posts.
18 years old.
in looooove.
I am Female.
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Post by Jade Little on Feb 9, 2023 22:14:13 GMT
Sorry. Jade’s hands tightened around Nora’s, her grip on her friend an attempt to tether herself to the present and to not fall down that endless well of memories. Even if right then it felt as if she was stood on the cliff’s edge, feet on crumbling ground, ready to swallow her up. She knew if she took a step forward then, there’d be no going back. All the work she’d put into piecing herself together would go tumbling away. Down, down, down.
But dammit. With him in front of her, her toes were eager to race ahead with no fear of the absolute abyss of a free fall they’d be launching themselves into.
Nora’s hand was tugging against hers, incessant and reminding Jade to not go too far. In their early days as roommates they’d imagined scenarios like this. Running into their exes in a variety of different contexts. What would they say? How would they react? They’d both changed so much since then that the nonsense they’d have put up with before would not be tolerated now. There’d been a time where she would have found this encounter completely romantic.
Maybe a little part of her still did.
But- no, she couldn’t let herself slip, not yet. I’m sorry. Well, fucking yeah, duh. The only reaction she could muster to those two, tiny, insignificant words, was a single slow blink. Just words, that’s all they were to her now. In one ear, out the other. She’d built enough of a story in her head to understand his actions. She was fairly certain that her story would be more entertaining than whatever truth he could give her.
She only wished he’d stop looking at her so intently. His eyes hadn’t changed. Whilst his hair and grown out, those eyes… Jade’s lips pressed together, losing her nerve with every moment that went by. Yet, she wouldn’t give him any satisfaction in being the first person to look away. If Nora wasn’t here, God, Jade wasn’t sure how she’d react. Maybe she’d be a puddle on the floor, inconsolable and bawling till her lungs were raw and she could no longer breathe. Maybe she’d have reached out, her hand colliding with Ashton’s cheek before she turned on her heel and left. Maybe she’d have just bolted when she’d first gone outside, preferring to get lost alone at night in a new city than to face him.
She couldn’t hide her feelings from her gaze, her own eyes revealing how she’d changed so clearly. Gone was the constant sweetness and people pleasing. Raw emotion crafted her eyes into a stormy sea, violent and deadly to those who got swept up. Like any reflection into a body of water, they were sure to reveal some sort of monster if you looked too close. Whether the monster was the viewer or her… well, it was only with Ashton in front of her that she had to contend with a true villain.
No amount of sorrys could change that opinion of him.
Not when one of his nickname’s used by her friends was ‘little villain boy' which felt so ridiculous with him in front of her. There was nothing little about him, her neck tilted up to look at him. Villain, well that felt less poignant when she’d noticed the desperation in his voice. And boy… he was no boy.
Her head did half a shake, eyes finally closing as he looked back up at her. 'Please don’t look at me like that,' was what that movement said. She couldn’t withstand it and the sigh behind her from Nora confirmed as much. Jade could sense her friend gearing up to say something, the tension of Nora’s body a sharp reminder as her eyelids opened, looking at a stranger’s shoes as they shuffled slightly offbeat to the music.
Damn sorry. Her eyebrows pulled together, sadness drawing the feature close. Her head was shaking more now, a silent beg for him to stop. It wouldn’t work. She wouldn’t- couldn’t move past it. When her head looked back up she realised how much closer they were. Instinctively, she shuffled back, Nora making the space for her to step into. Their grip on each other went slack when Ashton outstretched his hand. All Jade could do was stare at it, her mouth agape. A shocked breath past through her open lips and Nora whispered, “you’re shitting me,” into Jade’s ear.
Her breathing felt as if it was becoming increasingly difficult with every single please that came out of his mouth. Eyebrows pushing closer and closer together, face more and more distraught. Nora had had enough, she wrapped an arm around Jade’s shoulder, Jade too panicked in her mind to put up much resistance as Nora spun her to face her, keeping Ashton out of her line of sight. “No,” the word was exasperated, Nora’s face displaying how much of a stupid idea this was. “We’re drunk, we make no decisions drunk that’s rule number one,” Nora reminded her and Jade nodded then, the action a little sluggish.
“He’ll talk, I’ll listen,” Jade said, trying for some insane reason to make a case for why she should go. That sliver of hope was more risky than the poison that fuelled her. Maybe this conversation could free her just a little from it all.
“And I’ll pick up the pieces, Jay,” and Jade’s name was whined, like Nora knew this was going to happen but at least she could make her complaint known.
“Exactly, love you,” Jade replied, pressing a smile to her lips which had Nora rolling her eyes before shooting daggers at Ashton. “Plus, I’ll only pretend listen.” She added and Nora’s lips twisted into a wicked grin, eyes still levelled on the boy in her eye line.
“The classic nodding enthusiastically trick?” Nora said, pulling her attention back to Jade.
“The one and only,” Jade turned her neck then to look at Ashton, of course she knew he’d heard every word. “Five minutes, let’s go.” She was the first to move, Nora trailing behind her and reclaiming a grip around each other's hands. Ashton kicked into action a second later but with him behind her, the crowds seemed to part. Jade’s mind couldn’t help but flick back, blowing dust off of pages of memories past, back to school hallways of admiring and jealous eyes and people moving like a wave around them as they walked past lockers hand in hand. When they were a them. When the threat had seemed like it would be some elusive, mystery, perfect girl not… not… Jade couldn’t even bring herself to think the name. Stepping into the mildly cooler area by the bar, she couldn’t miss how Ashton’s friends were so focused on them. On her.
Right, probably not just his friends.
“I’ll sit here, Jade,” Nora said, grabbing an empty barstool between the door and Ashton’s friends where she could watch both clearly. So protective. Jade was shocked Nora was allowing her to do this but… so many drinks down and their wits were a little frayed. Letting go of each other’s hand, Jade’s nerves kicked in then, her grounding and rooting force for the past four years now detached from her whilst she had to face him. The very opposite. Her destabiliser. Her heartbreaker. Ruiner of lives.
But he was only those things because she’d fallen so hard.
As she turned from Nora and took the few steps towards the door, her heart felt as if it could free fall again. Into a safety net or to smash on concrete, well, the next few minutes would be the decider of that.
The cool air of the night bit into her, adrenaline and the thin material of her dress pebbling her skin. Her limbs felt heavy, feet a little wobbly now as her hands wrung around each other, the world suddenly so unfamiliar. “So,” Jade regretted the word the moment it popped past her lips, part of her needing to fill the silence but there were no words to immediately spring up after. Just more of that growing ache.
Maybe she should sit down. Maybe they should walk and talk. Maybe they should stand on opposite sides of the road and yell at each across the distance.
“My friends got engaged and I’m here with my ex-boyfriend,” Jade mumbled, rubbing a hand along her jaw, unable to look Ashton directly in the face. “And Nora probably thinks I’m her stupidest friend right now, so please, like I said to her, talk and I’ll pretend to listen and I’ll act like seeing you isn’t,” she broke off then looking across at Ashton. They’d paused a few feet away from each other, so at odds with how they used to be intertwined at all times, unable to stay apart. Taking a breath, she knew she shouldn’t complete that sentence but she did it anyway. “The absolute worst thing.” Because seeing him brought it all back. Date nights and photo booth pictures. Sneaking off at lunch time. Tugging each other’s hands to stay behind and grab another kiss. Waking up in the middle of the night safely in his arms. Making him laugh and thinking it was the best sound in the world.
None of it had mattered enough to him.
She hadn’t been enough.
It was that thought that had her wrapping her arms around herself, a defensive and closed-off position. She never said she was a good actor. He’d be able to read her feelings better than anyone else anyway.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
299 posts.
18 years old.
two timin' hoe.
I am Male.
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Post by Ashton Pines on Mar 1, 2023 5:09:28 GMT
This must be a dream.
This couldn’t be real.
The way they pushed past him, it was as if they were floating. Ashton couldn’t get with the program, couldn’t see anything but the way Jade’s hair had shuddered as she had run out of the room that night four years ago. It didn’t tremble now as it did then, but he stood there all the same. Unmoving, mouth slack as the girls maneuvered through the crowd.
How many times had he thought of this moment? Of finding Jade and finally saying…saying what? No apology felt right. No reasoning was ever sound enough. In each practice speech, in every drunken rant—he never had the words. In those dreams, she’d slap him silly—a loud cracking noise, the taste of blood. In those dreams, she’d turn on her heel before the apology ever fluttered from his lips—like a butterfly with clipped wings, something so earnest and graceful but never making it very far. In those dreams, Jade never gave him a chance, but she was now. Why was she now?
Ashton’s eyes cut back to the man that Jade had left behind, the tipsy fella scratching at his head before frowning at Ashton. If this were a dream, he’d have shoved the guy and started a fight for laying hands on his gir—no no, not his girl. On Jade. He’d have fought him for touching Jade. As it stands, Ashton didn’t have time to waste. He rolled his eyes at the guy, turning to follow after the girls. Ashton had this effect on people, the crowd making room for him as he pushed through—parting like the Red Sea. He didn’t know if it was his size (not just his height, he had bulked up significantly since he’d last seen Jade—the reaping of his work with the cattle on the ranch) that intimidated people or if somehow they could sense the power he held. An alpha. The top dog. He kept his chin held high, daring someone to step in Jade’s way as she led them out of the club portion of the building and back into the much calmer bar scene.
The way his eyes drew to his group of friends was magnetic, staring them down as their gazes followed Jade out the door—only batting back towards him once she was out of view. Arched eyebrows and curious head tilts were what he was met with, the group shuffling in their seats with anticipation. “She’s giving me five minutes,” Ashton whispered, wiping nervously at his mouth to cover the movement of his lips in case Nora looked back. The brothers gave each other a baffled look, having anticipated that she would have shut him down with the way she’d spoken to them. Chris grinned at his alpha, his own voice low at the table but loud in Ashton’s ears as he purred, “That’s our Ashton, get your girl.” Robbie only looked worried. None of them had heard what went on in the club, it had been too loud to pick out Ashton’s conversation, but with the way Nora positioned herself between his group and the door—glare threatening and heavy with warning—and how Jade had stomped off, Robbie was concerned about how this would affect his friend. Ashton had been longing for Jade since, well—since that night she’d caught him and her sister together. Robbie couldn’t think of many days he’d been with his alpha and he hadn’t caught him staring off in the distance, a forlorn look shadowing his features. He loved Jade. The Ashton who came back to Richardson was not the same as the one who had left. The boys had been so hopeful that Ashton would come back a little more rounded, a little more whole—hoping Jensen would patch him up the way only he could. He seemed emptier, hollow in a way that couldn’t be blamed on his parents’ deaths. It took him a long time to open up to them. Mike and Jason probed carefully, hands on shoulders and soft pats on the back. Chris had been blunt, crass in a way only he could get away with. It wasn’t until Robbie was sitting in the back of his pickup truck with Ashton, strumming his guitar and humming to some song he knew like the back of his hand, when his alpha finally spoke up. It had been a long day out in the sun. The other boys had headed home straight away, but Ashton had opted to ride back home with Robbie instead. He’d asked him to pull over on the familiar, long stretch of road that led back to the Sanctuary, veering down a dirt path that brought them to an open field where Robbie knew Ashton’s mom used to take him stargazing. His head had been tilted up to the sky, tracing the shapes of the distant celestial bodies. Robbie couldn’t say how long they’d been out there, but the moon was hung high in the sky as Ashton said, “I had a girlfriend out there.” Robbie had been stunned, fingers stilling and eyes drawn to the tawny-haired boy. Of all the things he expected to be said, this was never one of them. He didn’t know where Ashton was going with this, but he hadn’t made him wait. “Jade,” his voice had wavered, almost as if that had been the first time he’d said it since he’d left Beacon Hills, “Her name's Jade. Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Kindest, too. Ain’t ever met somebody who’s got a heart like her.” He sighed then, a billowing breath over his plush lips—head hung down, hiding from the glowering stars. “And I fucked it up real bad, Robbie. I loved her,” and it took everything in Robbie not to gasp, he never thought he’d see the day his alpha fell for anyone, “I’ve never loved anyone in my whole life, but I loved her—no, fuck, I am still in love with her. I don’t know why I did what I did. I, uh,” he swallowed hard and Robbie had to look away—burying his nose in his shirt, the smell of guilt suffocating, “I slept with her twin. Not once, either. Almost the whole damn time. She just—God, she had her hooks in me and I just, I’m so fucking stupid.” Ashton looked at Robbie then, tears in his eyes as the beta turned back to face him, “She caught us. I swear it was gonna be the last time, but Jade, she—she walked in and I haven’t seen her since. I never got to apologize or explain and Jesus fuck, it haunts me. That look she gave me, Rob, it haunts me.” Robbie had only held him then, an arm around his shoulders as Ashton shook with sobs. That night, the dam had opened. Almost every day after, he’d find him sneaking a peek at her social media or scrolling through old pictures. Those few flings he’d had were so damn fleeting. Robbie didn’t think any girl would ever fill that void. He didn’t think it was healthy, but he couldn’t find the words to speak up to his alpha.
Robbie held Ashton’s gaze in that moment, caution running rampant in those crystal blue pools. He didn’t want Ashton to hurt anymore than he did, but who was he to stop this from happening. It was a fucking one in a billion chance that they ever crossed paths again. Robbie stayed in his seat, watching Ashton follow after Jade.
Anxious green eyes caught fuming brown, Nora challenging Ashton as he slithered out the door, hands trembling as he shoved them into his pockets.
This was happening. This was really happening. He pinched himself, fingers snagging at his skin from where they were hiding in his jeans. Jade was still there when he opened his eyes back up, staring at him with such loss and hurt in her gaze. He hated the distance between them, yearning to just wrap her in his arms—to hold her close, to make it better. He knew he had no right.
Ashton tried to school his features into something passive as she called him the absolute worst thing, but he knew that he wasn’t successful. Hurt creased his brows, flashing in his emerald eyes as he cut them to the ground. Yeah. Yeah, he knew that. He knew that what he’d done had been the worst thing and yet he was still here, begging for a second chance. He knew he didn’t deserve one.
Words, Ashton. Words. The clock is ticking, and still, he couldn’t open his mouth. He looked back up at her, desperate to erase the pain written so clearly in her eyes.
Absolute worst thing.
Yeah, he was, wasn’t he?
“I really am sorry, Jade,” Ashton started, feeling that it was important to reiterate what he’d said in the club. His voice was stronger than he thought it would be, but his face was drawn down with sorrow. His brows sagged, lips tugged at corners as he held her gaze. “Not a day goes by that I don’t regret what I did to you. I—there’s no words,” he wanted to call her darling, he bit his tongue. “It was the biggest mistake of my life. I—I wanted that with you,” he pulled his left hand out of his pocket then, gesturing vaguely at where her phone was clutched in her hand, “To be engaged, to be together—a life together, and I… I fucked up so damn bad and I know nothing I say will fix that, Jade. I know that.” He was ready for the look of disbelief, knowing she would never trust a word he said again.
He took a deep breath, tears spilling down his cheeks. When had he started crying?
“I used to dream about it. White picket fences and making you a craft room and building a crib for our kid and I fucking,” he stuttered, dragging his hand through his hair and tugging at the strands—shaking his head at his own rambling. “I can’t give you an answer that’ll make anything better, Jade,” he sounded defeated then, shoulders slump and eyes so damn dark with misery—he wondered if she delighted in the sight, “I don’t want to say anything that sounds like an excuse because nothing I did—we did was okay.” He wouldn’t say her name, couldn’t. Didn’t want to.
He didn’t think Jade could stomach to hear it either.
“I think—I know you just want me to talk, but I think if you ask me, if you tell me what you need to know—I think that would,” he fought for the words, nothing felt right on his tongue, “I think it would help us heal. Because I haven’t. I think about you every fucking day still, Jade. You haunt me,” and he thinks she liked hearing that, so he continued, “My life has been Hell without my girl and I—I know that’s deserved.”
His spit was thick when he swallowed, daring to step forward just once as he begged, “And I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but please, Jade. If you could just hear me out—if you’re going to be in town a while, if I could take you to breakfast or, or God, anything. Just please. Please don’t go again.”
Ashton was almost embarrassed with how pathetic he was. Almost.
He’d do damn well anything Jade asked him to to get her back.
But he knew she was going to ask why.
He didn't know how to answer that.
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Hunters
Written by Jasmin.
132 posts.
18 years old.
in looooove.
I am Female.
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Post by Jade Little on Mar 3, 2023 22:10:54 GMT
Everyone was going to flip when they found out what she’d agreed to. Jade was already picturing Nora furiously typing away on her phone to let their friends know what she was up to. What a fool she was being and for what? Closure? If she hadn’t managed to find that for herself after four years without seeing him then there really wasn’t much hope for her. Or could it be that damn hopeless romantic streak? Was she willing to ruin herself again?
There was an answer. She’d been wrangling with it this whole time. Deep down she knew. He was the endless blue well of water that would meet her after the she stepped off the edge. He’d swallow her whole. Easing the edges and yet pulling her further and further away. Dragging her from salvation until he was all she knew. Endless fields of blue. She wanted to thrash against that hold, to break through and punch her head through the surface until air was filling her lungs and she could breathe and see clearly. But he’d still be there like a tattoo. Unable to remove and visible to anyone who looked too close.
“You’re still in love with him? What the fuck is wrong with you, Jade?” Junior year, just before Christmas. They’d been going on dates since the summer. Jade was trying to wash herself clean of the past. Nora and Kate were itching for details every time she came back from a date even though they knew two nights before she’d been slipping into the bed of some other guy. Focusing all her energy on just one made her sickly anxious, skin paling and attention always elsewhere. They hadn’t had an exclusivity conversation so she figured it was okay. Even if she knew it was not. “I’m here pouring out my heart and all you say is ‘okay’? What is your problem?” He was shouting at her from across the kitchen of his apartment, she was stood in the doorway, hands holding a present he’d gotten her. She hadn’t had the chance to unwrap it before he’d started a lengthy monologue about how much he cared for her, how he saw them going somewhere, how he wanted to be together, how he- “He was fucking your sister the whole time-” the present fell to the ground or maybe she threw it and he finally stopped talking.
“I’m in love with him? That’s the conclusion you jump to? I never even talk about him. I’m just not ready for something serious.” Her tone had remained even and calm as if she were calming a startled horse.
“You don’t have to say it. It’s obvious whenever I kiss you or hold you. You’re not over it. Jesus, it’s been years…” He’d continued for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes. Jade remained silent the whole time until the conversation lulled and she could utter a goodbye and leave. She’d never spoken to him again. He’d been the only guy she’d opened up with about her past - well, aside from Mason but he didn’t count - and it had backfired so horrendously. She’d cried the whole walk home, a steady stream turning her cheeks to frozen blocks of ice as people walked by hurriedly shopping ahead of the holiday. Her flings had grown increasingly worse from that moment on. Half the time she wouldn’t even stay the night, slipping out between two and four am to make her own way home and sleep in her cold bed.
She told herself that guy had been wrong. She was just holding back because she was afraid of being hurt. How could she still love Ashton after what he’d done to her? Their whole relationship had been a lie, shrouded in deceit and betrayal. She couldn’t love that and as memories of him faded more and more it was easier to tell herself just that. The good became blurred by drunken nights killing her memories and the bad became that potent pill that kept her going.
Now, stood in front of her, she had no idea what to really think. She felt that mask she'd worn so often in high school slip back as she schooled her features into something neutral whilst her arms held her tight. Maybe he hadn’t been the only issue in their relationship when she felt like she’d been hiding herself half of the time and playing the role she thought he wanted.
Clearly he’d preferred what her twin had to offer. So it had all been pointless anyway.
And now he had the balls to look upset at what she had to say. Surely that’s what he liked if he’d kept going back to her sister. Someone mean and bitter. That’s all her sister was to her now. There was no good when she thought about her.
Her eyes were betraying her. She knew they reflected every inch of inner turmoil. But she couldn’t just look away from him.
Then he opened his mouth. Sorry. She couldn’t stop the defeated laugh that came out, void of humour and full of disbelief. Every syllable that slipped past his lips had her blood burning, finding it impossible to hear a sincere apology within them. She was probably being unfair but could you blame her? She’d had four years to make him her villain. That. Jade’s brows furrowed, her own lips parted on a breath as she pieced together what he meant before he even had to confirm it.
How could he say that? How did he think that was okay? He had no right to come and talk about his dreams and what he’d wanted for them when it had never just been them. He’d broken it from the beginning. Her head was shaking softly from side to side, hair tickling her back with the motion. There was a pain ripping her apart as the vision flickered in her head. Her damn traitorous heart taking control for a few seconds before she wrangled back her sensibilities, flushing the image away even as he continued. Her eyes had to shutter close for a moment, pushing back what felt like tears of betrayal. Betrayal over what he’d done and over her heart for still feeling something.
Our kid. He should have just punched her in the gut for the wave of nausea that overcame her. For him to say our anything. Her eyes opened, gaze reflective from tears she refused to let fall but hardening by the second as he had the nerve to look defeated. It felt like he was playing the victim.
And then something snapped.
We. We. Fucking we. The breath that left her was a shocked sigh, a gasp of anguish and disgust. We. What the fuck was wrong with him? Words that had been previously aimed at her which should have only been reserved for the boy in front of her. Her hands dropped then, falling to her sides whilst a look of pure dislike passed across her pretty features. Softness turned to hard edges and those eyes iced over at the use of that one word. It was his fatal mistake.
Nothing he said after that mattered, his words becoming white noise as the world around them seemed to fade and she was back in the cabin, walking up the stairs to his room, excited to see him and tell him about her day - she’d been busy working on finally giving him a piece of pottery made just for him and just wanted to tease him over what it was - and then she’d heard something. Those final steps to his bedroom door had been so slow and quiet, hand shaking as she reached for the handle, convincing herself that she was making it up but then she’d seen them for herself and her world had disappeared. Everything she’d known had fallen apart in those few seconds.
It was his fault. And yet he wanted to heal. Her head tilted to the side, sizing him up and trying to judge for herself whether he was for real.
She hoped she was haunting him. She hoped the thought of her flashed in his mind every time he took a step towards happiness and that it held him back. Because she knew that was her reality. She couldn’t suffer like this alone.
My girl. Jade’s empty hand scrunched up, balling and unballing as she fought back in her mind.
She didn’t step backwards this time but she imagined Ashton would want to when she finally let her thoughts free. “Your life has been hell?” She started, eyes wide and almost sympathetic but her voice was pure venom. “Do you want me to hold your hand,” she reached out then, with the step he’d taken towards her she easily caught one of his hands in hers and gave it a squeeze, fingers interlocked, “and tell you it’s all okay? That I’ve been fine and that you’re forgiven? Is that what you want?” She shook her head, dropping his hand without much decorum, hating how deep down her insides had glowed at the contact. “I mean sure, we can have breakfast and you can tell me about all the times you fucked my sister. I’m sure it was a regular thing so hell, that may even take us to lunch and then you can cover how you never cared for me and I wasn’t enough for you. Frankly, I’ve got questions, was it because I wasn’t good in bed or was I just not exciting enough for Ashton Pines? Or who knows, maybe you were sleeping with half the school and I just caught you the one time it was my twin, hmm?” She brushed a hand through her hair, somehow keeping her voice from shaking the whole time. They both knew she could talk and talk if she wanted to and boy, did she want to now they were here. “You could have come and found me if you were so desperate to make amends. There weren’t many places in Beacon Hills I could hide and plus, Sabrina’s the one that took me there. But you never bothered to come. There were nights where I’d sit and stare at my phone, thinking you’d reach out eventually but we both know you never did.” She was going too far back in time, wasting moments on points she didn’t even care about, sidestepping the real question even if she’d already hinted at it. “There was never an us because you were with her. So forgive me if I don’t believe you when you talk about our life because you wouldn’t even know what just being with me looks like.”
She had to take a steadying breath then, feeling her control of the situation slip and casting a nervous glance back towards the door to the bar, half-expecting Nora to come barrelling out at some point to collect her. “I knew what it was to love you but you have no idea how to love me,” sadness flashed across her face, numbing some of the sharp angles it had taken on, “I don’t think you ever did.” And she wasn’t sure if she was saying it because she wanted him to confirm or deny that fact. She wasn’t sure which option was worse.
Even if he could convince her that he had loved her, what difference did it make now?
She didn’t know.
She knew nothing when it came to her heart and how she felt about him.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
299 posts.
18 years old.
two timin' hoe.
I am Male.
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Post by Ashton Pines on Mar 11, 2023 21:52:41 GMT
It was in moments like this that Ashton missed Jensen.
His cousin didn’t haunt him often, but he could feel the man’s hands on his shoulders now—could hear him humming, “Oh, you’ve done it now,” in his ear. The second Ashton had finally shut his mouth, he knew he fucked up. He shouldn’t have said what he did, he shouldn’t have said anything at all. He shouldn’t have followed her outside; he shouldn’t have tracked her down. He should have let her go. Ashton didn’t deserve peace. He had no right to any kind of comfort. Why had he asked? When had he let himself get so deluded, so twisted? He’d destroyed Jade. There was no glimmering and glittering bubble around her now. He had popped that shell, had ripped any chance of true happiness away from her. She would always doubt her partner, always question their motives. He had ruined her and yet, he was tearing up like a fucking crybaby bitch. He’d fooled himself into thinking all of those smiles and laughs shared online were honest, convinced that she’d mended the pieces he’d shattered. A damn fool.
If Jensen had been there, seated between Ashton and Mike, he wouldn’t have let him rise from his seat. His hand would have been a firm warning, a reminder of his place. His friends now respected him too much as an Alpha to step out of line, but Jensen never let that title blur the care he had for Ashton. The flash of red eyes didn’t frighten his cousin, it didn’t have him cowering back—reminding him of his status. No, Jensen always held strong. He’d put Ashton in his place the way a father would, treating him like a petulant child when he stepped out of line. Ashton needed that now.
Jensen hadn’t spoken to him in two years. The last conversation was a fleeting check-in, and once his cousin knew that Ashton had settled well back into the pack, he didn’t call again. Ashton would text, but the silence on the other side of the phone left a bitter taste in his mouth. It was his own damn fault. It wasn’t just Jade he had broken. Blinking down at the woman as she quivered with rage, Ashton knew he’d call Jensen when he got home. Seeing Jade, seeing the consequences of his actions so clearly, his fingers were itching to reach out to everyone else he’d wronged. A masochistic desire to get all of the hurt out now, to try to fix irreparable things to make himself feel better.
Selfish.
A chill shivered up Ashton's back, curling around his spine and wringing a shaky breath from his lungs as his eyes dropped to her hand on his. Her voice was so cold—a bitter and loathing sound. Taunting him. Menacing in a way he never thought little Jade could be. He had a hard time hearing her, knowing she was mocking him, but he couldn't breathe. He couldn't lift his gaze from where her delicate hand was clawing at his, his heart beating so loud—a rapid thump-thump-thump in his chest. She was touching him. Jade was touching him. He hadn't been ready for it, had never anticipated that he would feel the electric thrum of her skin against his ever again. His hand was buzzing, desperate to keep her hold on him, but he was frozen still—in a stupor, too shocked to move his fingers to tighten around hers. He just stood there like a fucking idiot, pretending she wasn't saying the most vile (but deserved) things. Pretending that this was a sweet reconciliation. Pretending this was anything other than what it was.
She hated him, as she should.
The loss of her touch welcomed all of the words he'd been deaf to, his watery eyes snapping up to meet hers as her voice rose in volume and her monologue grew more hoarse and hateful. What else could he do but stand there and take it? His shoulders sagged in, posture small—looking all parts like a scolded child as he let her dig in to him. It didn't feel like it was enough penance. She deserved to hit him with worse. He wiped at his eyes, cursing himself for crying when he was the whole reason for this mess. Her words stung, each another poisoned dagger plunged into his chest. He should have stayed in his seat.
Ashton wasn't strong enough to face what he'd done.
He was blinking quickly, flushing back the swell of tears that begged to fall—eyebrows drawing together with every other insult. Fucked my sister, never cared, wasn't enough, was never an us—he winced as she continued, each accusation was a bullet piercing through his chest, ripping through his skin and burrowing deep in his heart. His hands balled by his sides, no longer hidden in his pockets as they trembled with sorrow and nerves and pain. Ashton swallowed, letting her say her piece, knowing better than to interrupt. He let her verbally punch and bully him, let her get everything she never got to say off her chest. It was like glass shattering, the sharp pin-pricks of the shards slicing through him. He deserved more hell than she was giving him.
And then she said that. Ashton’s chest puffed out as he inhaled sharply, eyes wild and teeth clenched. She knew what it was to love him. She loved him. It was a slap in the face. The words he’d always longed to hear said in the cruelest way. She didn't give him a chance to process, barreling straight on. He had no right to be upset. He knew what he had done gave her more than enough ammunition to fill her pretty little head with that idea, but hearing it? You have no idea how to love me—Ashton’s chest burned, holding that breath—I don’t think you ever did.
His exhale came out rushed, a hissing noise as he stepped forward and broke the boundary he’d promised he wouldn’t. He reached for her, stealing the hand she’d grabbed him with between both of his own—pushing it to his chest, over his heart, letting her feel the feverish rhythm of it beneath his flannel and labor-crafted muscles. His eyes were dark, an emotion akin to anger burning the envious emeralds a vibrant green. The wind blew around him, his hair floating across his forehead, falling against his brows. Ashton hadn’t planned to touch her, didn’t want to scare her with his size as he towered over her, but he couldn’t—he couldn’t handle her saying that, her thinking that. Doesn’t she get it? Doesn’t she understand? Love was… his love for her was what got him in this mess.
A pastel, clay sunflower swayed in a pick-up truck a little ways down the block, a new vehicle in a new city with a new set of passengers, but that pretty little flower remained the same. Ashton couldn’t get rid of it, couldn’t fathom ever driving without the damn thing swinging in his peripheral. He had all the notes she’d written him tucked into his nightstand, edges frayed and pages worn. He’d trace her writing, the pencil-marks fading with how often his index finger would pet at the words she’d left behind. Ashton didn’t erase Jade, he couldn’t. He held onto every small piece he had left of her.
He had shards of pottery kept in a box tucked under his bed, the remnants he’d carefully picked up off of his wood floor from the gift she’d made him four years ago. On his hands and knees, tears burning down his cheeks, he plucked every piece he could find—the sound of it shattering so damn loud in his ears, playing on repeat as he wept. Jade was gone. Erin was gone. This was all he had left.
Ashton could never piece it together just right, it was too broken to mend. He never found out what it was that she made for him, after so many months of begging. Karma bit his ass.
He hadn’t expected Jade to stay still, to keep her hand where he held it. He wondered if it was out of fear that she didn’t budge.
Ashton was foolish enough to believe she felt the sparks crackling between their palms, that she felt the string pulled taut between them.
“Don’t say that,” his voice was hoarse, husky and deep and rough, “Don’t you dare say that, Jade.” His mouth felt dry. Jade was so damn close, he was touching her. How could it feel so right and yet, still so wrong? “Everything I did, everything that happened—it was because I loved you,” and Jade’s face twisted then, the spell broken as she tried to pull away and her lips parted to curse him, but he stopped her. He moved one of his hands to her cheek, cradling it with such care, lifting it to catch her eye. His other pressed her palm against his chest more firmly, knowing she didn’t owe him the same respect he’d given her during her speech, but she was going to hear what he had to say whether she liked it or not. “I know what you’re thinking. Just—just give me a second, okay?” Jade didn’t look like she liked it, but she stopped fighting him.
She was smart. She knew it was futile to deny him anything.
Ashton would have purred that she was a good girl if the situation was different. As it stands, he softened his hold on her but didn’t let go. He didn’t want her to feel forced into anything, but was too damn desperate to give her a chance to run without listening to his truth.
“You’re not going to like it and hell, I don’t blame you for not believing me, but I loved you so damn much. More than anything, Jay. You have no fucking idea. It scared me so bad,” he swallowed hard, his voice sincere and eyes wet, “I’d gone my whole life just messing around and then I saw you and I just, my whole world stopped. I—fuck, it’s so fucking stupid. I hate myself, Jade. If I could go back and sock the fucker I’d been, I would, because it’s so fucking stupid. I was terrified of what I felt for you. I’d just.. I’d just lost mom and dad and you filled that hole in my chest so perfectly and I was so scared of loving you and then losing you. I… she… I was just trying to keep my distance. I didn’t want to fall in love. I didn’t want to get hurt so I, I just—I used her as a buffer and it didn’t even fucking work. Because I loved you anyways. I loved you the whole damn time. It just, it reached a point where it was too far to turn back. Your sister,” Ashton looked away, staring off at the passing cars before finding her eyes once more. He owed her the truth, owed her the shame and guilt and embarrassment that felt icy in his gaze.
“It was the whole time,” he whispered, knowing that hearing that would break her he couldn’t prevent, but she deserved the truth. He held her a little tighter, hoping to keep her whole, “A month after our first date,” and he knew he shouldn’t say this, he knew that, but he kept talking (he wishes he hadn’t), “I gave her a ride home. She made the first move, but I didn’t say no and we just, we didn’t stop.” He couldn’t tell her that he’d kissed Erin first, that months before he asked Jade out, he’d already known what her sister tasted like. He couldn’t tell her that Erin always made the first move, up until just before Jade found them when Ashton had finally slipped too deep into Erin’s hold. “She wasn’t better than you, not in any fucking way. But I, I did end up caring for her. Not love, but we were so damn tangled in the mess we’d made,” his voice tapered off, realization dawning. There really had been no point to what he'd done.
He… he was truly a monster.
Ashton let go of her suddenly, as if she burned him—like he finally realized exactly what he was doing.
He stumbled back a step, hands raised in surrender as he apologized, “Oh fuck, Jade. I’m sorry.” For touching her, for what he did, for everything. He shook his head, a traitorous tear trickling down his cheek.
"I don’t, I don’t want to be forgiven. That’s why I didn’t chase after you,” his voice was hushed, eyes caught on Jade's, drowning in the swell of pain in hers, “I knew… I knew that if I came over and spilled some bullshit, you’d have come right back, and you didn’t deserve that. I loved you too much to drag you back like he did.” Knowing Jade had held so much hope for him and he’d ended up doing to her the same thing her ex had done was a red mark on his ledger he couldn’t erase. The least he could do was let her go, which was more than Slots had done—the boy having charmed Jade back and back again.
“What the hell am I saying,” he huffed, a bitter laugh hissing through his teeth as he pushed his hand through his unruly hair, “Talking in past-tense like I’m still not head over heels for you, Jade. I still love you. Every fucking day. I’m a wreck without you. I’m so fucking lost and I deserve that. I did that to myself. You’re everything I’ve ever fucking wanted, and I threw it away like the biggest damn fool.” He was back-tracking, knowing that his initial outburst had been out of shock of seeing her. He hadn’t said what he meant to—had blurted out what his heart yearned for. She deserved better.
“Still got your flower,” he said quietly, jade meeting Jade, “There hasn’t been a single day I haven’t thought about you, darling.” He’d said too much, and as Jade’s phone chimed with a text, he knew it must be Nora texting her to let her know her five minutes were up.
“I—I’m sorry,” he said again with finality, feeling in his bones that she was going to flee with the flash of reality her friend had provided, “I shouldn’t have come up to you and I shouldn’t have said any of that. I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.” He was embarrassed at how he’d acted just now—asking her to breakfast and grabbing her like that, how fucking pathetic was he?
“I just want you happy, that’s all,” he promised, taking a step back to give her room to go, “Knowing that you’ll be okay is all I want.” Which was only sort of a lie.
If there was a chance… he shut down that thought. There wasn’t. Jade deserved a good man.
Ashton wasn’t sure if he would ever truly be.
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Hunters
Written by Jasmin.
132 posts.
18 years old.
in looooove.
I am Female.
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Post by Jade Little on Mar 27, 2023 22:05:31 GMT
There were very few instances where she could remember Ashton shedding tears. He’d always held himself strong. A protective shoulder she could lean on. He’d wipe her tears and her hurt away with gentle swipes of his fingers against her cheeks. A kiss pressed to her forehead to ease and push away the anguish buried deep inside once she finally revealed what was bothering her. It was only really when she was physically hurt - after she’d been idiotic and attempted to play avenger for Charlie - that she’d caught that emotion on his face.
It made this entire situation so unnerving, a cloying, suffocating feeling overcoming her with every inhale. This was wrong. So, so, incredibly wrong. This wasn’t how they were supposed to be. Upping and leaving him behind when she’d discovered him with her sister had been the easiest option. She’d never had to endure this intense feeling of something being off. Of her life not being how it should when it came to interacting with the man in front of her.
Imagining this conversation when he’d only felt half real and so very far away had been easy. Fun, almost. Something for her and her friends to muse and laugh at. Jade didn’t feel like laughing now. Not when she knew she meant everything she said. Not when she knew she was revealing that despite what he’d done she’d wanted him to come after her. That she still believed in that, even now. That there was some damn, foolish, hopeful, reckless, romantic side of her who would lay awake after Nora had fallen asleep and paint out a narrative in her mind that could excuse what he’d done. Something palatable and easy to swallow. Some magic pill of redemption. Only issue was that eventually she’d run out of ways to make sense of what had happened and she’d never managed to convince herself one way or another that it was okay.
Maybe if he’d found her sooner there wouldn’t have been such venom in her voice. But that’s who she’d become.
He’d made her like that.
This was on him.
His tears were because of his actions and no matter how much it twisted her heart she had to push past what they were doing to her.
Even if it was hurting her just as much.
“Holding on’s always more painful than letting go,” Nora was staring out of the window of their freshman dorm, the view wasn’t much, overlooking some parking lot but the two of them managed to get enough enjoyment out of watching other people’s terrible parking skills. She’d caught Jade stalking through the pack’s Instagrams, zooming into their smiling faces and wishing she were back in the cabin with them all. “Why don’t you block them?” Nora had asked, the question generally curious as Jade shut her phone off and walked over to the window.
“We went through a lot,” Jade offered, hands wrapping around her body, holding herself together. “I can’t just…” she’d trailed off, unable to even say leave them all when she knew that’s exactly what she’d done and hating that she even cared when it seemed most of them had already known. Known and never told her. But they’d needed each other to survive against the Rogue Pack. It was impossible for Jade to just put that wall up and turn her back on them all.
So she’d always left that door into her life open.
And she’d used it to pretend.
Now, now, Ashton must have realised it was a lie. That she was a lie but at least she’d never lied like he had. Her love had been genuine and just for him. He could never say the same thing.
The words impacted him in a way that sliced right through Jade. How could he ever think she hadn’t loved him? Sure, she’d always been too scared to tell him outright but every action, her word, every sweet note and longing stare had been full of nothing but love and adoration.
She didn’t know why she thought he’d just stand there and listen to her without eventually stepping in and she’d already broken that physical barrier between them in her anger. It should have been no surprise when he grabbed her hand and pressed it against his heart. Her breath was suffocating still but in a completely different way. This… this suddenly felt right and God, that thought alone had her falling apart, legs wobbly beneath her and her own heart feeling as if was preparing to blast off to the moon with how rapidly it was beating in her chest. Any thoughts of how strong he felt were terrible for her. Any thoughts of how his new hairstyle suited him and how his eyes somehow seemed even greener these days were truly going to kill her. She was a statue under his grip, desperately trying to push those intrusive thoughts away when she’d just been reminding herself that even though it hurt to see him cry this was his doing. But how were those thoughts her fault when the wind seemed to be a paid for actor, painting him brooding and wanting in front of her.
It felt as if it were only hitting Jade then. Ashton was in front of her. She was touching him, palm snug against the material of his shirt, the soft material of the flannel only the briefest of barriers between the solid muscle beneath.
Why couldn’t he have gotten hit by a truck and hideously disfigured in the process?
Why was he still the most gorgeous person she’d ever looked at?
But his words managed to derail that train of thought before it ended with Jade making a mistake she’d never be able to recover from. Don’t say that. Jade’s mind honed in on those words, picking them apart in an attempt to make sense of them before he could explain. To be so critical of every syllable he said that he could never catch her off guard, that he could never hide something from her again. The blinkers were off. For him. For everyone. Any last fragment of innocence she’d held had vanished when she’d walked into his room that day.
There wasn’t enough time - in this conversation, in this damn city, in the whole entire world - for her to prepare herself for what he said next. Her lips parted, forming a perfect ‘O’ before her face scrunched up, eyes narrowing and brows lowering as she tried to make sense of what he’d just admitted. Loved. The tension exited her arm as she tried to pull away. How dare he? How could he? How was that the reason he had? Her not being pretty enough or different enough or as fucking experienced as he would have wanted were all things she could stomach some way or another - putting them all down to personal choice and him just being a general asshole. But, but, that? Jade’s world was falling around her again, the sky crashing down, bringing any remaining stars down with it and leaving just an abyss of never ending, unbelievable darkness. Something so unfathomable that her brain felt as if it would short circuit as it tried to process what it was witnessing.
He wouldn’t release her hand, wouldn’t let her run away and disappear even though that’s all she wanted to do. Fuck any closure. Fuck answers to her questions. The truth, this, was so much worse. His hand on her face was so much worse than that foreign space between them. He felt like home and a wasteland all at once. Solace and broken. She didn’t want to look in those bright eyes, eyes which she’d memorised and painted and looked to as a guiding light. Her gaze wavered, mouth pressed into a thin line and silently praying that Nora would burst through that door, grab her and they could escape. If Jensen or Sabrina were still around Ashton, this wouldn’t have happened. Whoever these other members of his pack were, Jade decided then and there that she didn’t like them.
Not that it mattered.
A second. She could give him a second, sure. It wasn’t like she had any choice when he’d glued them together.
Jade knew he’d let go if she asked him to just like he knew she could probably find a way to get out of his hold if she was so desperate to escape this conversation.
But part of her just had to hear how he’d managed to rationalise this to himself. How he thought she could ever understand what he was about to say. The slight relaxation in his hold had her own mind quietening down, willing to at least listen to the first sentence of his defence. She could have laughed except I loved you so dammed much had any flicker of amusement dying in her head, her hand against his chest barely managing to stay there on its own accord, fingers slipping an inch or so and face falling. She felt as if there were matching tears holding tight in her eyes this time, desperate to not tumble down her cheeks but they were there and ready to go, watching Ashton through blurred vision and breaths that had become slow and unsteady. Mentions of his mom and dad had her eyes squeezing shut, those lines of water cutting their way down the smooth planes of her face. Her eyelids stayed closed, trying to find a little pocket of privacy to make sense of what he was saying whilst he was holding her close to him.
Didn’t want to. There was something like a hiccup coming out of her, close to a sob but muffled as she tried to hide how much his words were ripping her apart. He should have left her alone in high school. He should have allowed her to have a crush on him and nothing more. He should never have allowed her to grow close, to become so attached to him if it wasn’t what he wanted.
Her head was shaking side to side as much it could whilst propped up by his hand, begging him to stop. Those words, those words weren’t the antidote she thought she needed. They were a different kind of poison. One she truly believed could kill her off. She cracked her eyelids open, eyes now bloodshot and full of sorrow as he turned his attention back to her.
She wished she hadn’t. Her tears were pouring out in abundance now, jolting her body about as she tried to keep their volume to a minimum. Her body felt as if it needed his support so she didn’t fight back, wasn’t even sure if she could, as he held onto her a little more. It was too late for her heart to be kept whole. It had shattered long ago. But the work she’d put in to piece it back together was coming apart so quickly. And this time it felt lethal. There would be no more what-ifs or maybes. There would just be this conversation to haunt her days and torment her nights. To hold her back from ever loving again because clearly being in love didn’t matter and it was evidently no guarantee for being treated as a human and not as some thing to allow boys to process their trauma.
Details of him and her sister were making her nauseous, face paling with every fact that came out of him.
She was right. It was never just her.
He’d cared about her sister.
Her tears eased a little then, eyes taking on that icy glare, disbelief pouring off of her. Fuck him.
Fuck her.
Fuck this whole fucking conversation.
The absence of his hand from her face had reality truly slipping back into place as she took a matching step back, hands rushing up to her cheeks and wiping away the mess she’d made there. Suddenly, she felt so small. So broken. So ruined for the future. There’d be no coming back from this.
But there it was. That tear down his cheek. And there was her heart. Breaking and unbreaking but… wanting to reach out. That poor, stupid, lonely heart of hers.
His next statement had her anger dissipating. She’d thought he was the same as Slots. And in many ways, he was. In many ways, he was worse. But… he’d let her go. There was too much noise in her head to make sense of it all now. To comprehend why that realisation meant so much to her. A clear differentiator between the two boys.
That all faded with what he said next. It was like sitting in a theatre, waiting for a performance to start when the curtains finally drew back and you got a look at the stage for the first time. Except, she was sat alone in the stalls and Ashton was there on the stage. There was no one else. No supporting cast or dramatic plotline to force the story along. It was her and him. And a blank script. Blinking, a pen appeared in her hand as her mind pictured Ashton moving to sit on the edge of the stage, a few rows separating them. But the option was clear. He could walk off the stage and out of her life. Or she could find a way to write him in. Because, still was a word she hadn’t expected even though that very word had been thrown at her in accusation before.
She was back in Texas in another blink as a car rushed by but she couldn’t pay it any mind. Couldn’t focus on anything except still, still, still, it was a chant in her head. An incantation pulling her under. The only thing that could have broken her out of his charm was Nora, and like the devil incarnate, her phone buzzed at that very moment.
She still hadn’t said anything and half felt as if her mouth was broken, unable to even form a word if she wanted to. Not after everything he’d just revealed.
Her feet were glued to the spot as she stared at Ashton, taking note of the step backwards, of her opportunity to leave. But then her phone buzzed again and she had to look away, hating that she was worried he’d disappear before she could reply if she took her gaze off of him. Her vision was still a little unsteady but sure enough it was Nora telling her it had been five minutes, followed promptly by a message directed at Ashton that she’d kill him if he’d kidnapped her if that was the reason why Jade hadn’t replied. Jade’s head shook in mild amusement at the messages, Nora always having a knack for pulling her out of a funk and back to reality.
Coming. Jade typed the message out quickly, knowing she just needed a few more seconds with Ashton before she went back to Nora. “Can you just,” and wow, what a miracle - she could speak! “Wait here?” Jade asked, legs kicking into gear and walking up to Ashton. She paused on his left side, head twisted up to the side to look at him. “I just, I, Nora…” would never let her forget what was going on. She had to do some damage control with her best friend.
Reentering the bar, Jade was shocked to not immediately see Nora, instead casting a glance over to Ashton’s pack who all seemed to quickly avert their gaze and launch into a conversation about nothing in particular. Nora came into view a second later, hidden initially by some guy stood behind her. As she moved to stand beside her, Nora’s attention fell on her friend, face quickly transforming from a languid smile to one of worry and concern. “Bye,” she said to the guy without a second glance, hopping off her stool and latching onto Jade’s hands, dragging her to the bathroom without a chance for Jade to stop her.
Squished in a cubicle, Nora gestured for Jade to sit, her eyes tracking over her face as if counting every teary streak and fleck of mascara. Away from Ashton, the weight of all he’d revealed was crushing, that suffocating feeling creeping back in. “What’d he do?” Nora asked, crouching down, and holding Jade’s hands gently. Where Ashton had stopped being her protector, Nora had stepped into those shoes with ease, fulfilling the role every single day.
Jade’s eyes were round and so full of hurt that Nora’s own heart felt like breaking at the sight of it, clutching onto her friend’s hands a little tighter. “He told me why and how it was with her the whole time,” her voice was quiet as if she couldn’t bring herself to speak it aloud. “But he doesn’t want me to forgive him but…” she had to draw in a breath then, something to steady herself as she said, “he loved me, loves me still and Nora, I don’t know what to do.” Nora sighed, understanding dawning on her face, reading into the emotion in Jade’s teary eyes and tender voice so clearly.
“What was his reason?”
Jade hesitated, this the part she still couldn’t stomach, “he didn’t want to love me.” Nora’s face was aghast, disgust crisscrossing every feature and half looking as if she would march out of the bathroom and find Ashton then and there. “No, no,” Jade said quickly, knowing Nora rushing off to give Ashton her own opinion would not help the situation and knowing that that wasn’t exactly true with every replay she gave to what he’d said in her mind. A vinyl that kept stuttering over the same spot, unable to move forward or past what he’d said. “He was scared of being hurt after his parents had died,” Nora settled a little at that but there was still a lack of certainty about her that had Jade rambling on, “trust me, Nor, I don’t agree with it, obviously. But I,” Jade paused and Nora’s eyes shuttered closed but she never let go of her hands. “I have to see because clearly… clearly, four years have not been enough for either of us to be okay.”
The two of them were silent for a few long moments, Jade’s resolve slipping with every passing breath between them as Nora seemed to work through something in her mind. “Well, best to do this tonight so that I have the backup of Kate and Mason for whatever happens tomorrow,” Nora said eventually, acceptance on her face as if she’d known this was coming from the moment Jade had seen Ashton. “But I do want it noted that I do not condone this behaviour and as a future lawyer I recommend not killing him if that’s your actual secret goal.”
“Maybe some light ego maiming?” Jade suggested, unbelieving that Nora was going to let her go and deal with this. Equally unbelieving within herself that she was about to go and do this after everything she’d put herself through.
“That works,” Nora said, hoisting Jade up and escorting them from the bathroom, ignoring the stares of everyone who had been waiting to use the toilet as they shuffled past. “I miss New York,” Nora whispered, leaning in close so Jade could hear over the noise.
“Me too,” Jade replied, but there was something deep within her, a little pulse of light that had bene dim for so long which felt as if it were finally coming to life again. As if someone had pulled off the dusty blanket it had been buried behind, allowing life and light to slowly fill her again. It occurred to Jade then, she couldn’t just walk off and leave Nora to entertain herself. “What are you gonna do?”
Nora smiled from beside her, paused halfway between the dance floor and Ashton’s group of friends. Nora nodded back towards the booming music where the guy she’d been dancing with earlier was stood by, waiting patiently, “him.” Nora replied with a grin before her face turned more solemn, “you call me, text me, whatever you need to do if you need me. I don’t care the time, I’ll come get you.” Jade nodded but Nora said, “promise me,” and Jade knew it was time to go and face the truth she’d left standing in the summer night outside.
“I will, I will, I promise,” Jade said, and the two girls gave each other’s hand one final parting squeeze before heading off. Jade couldn’t deny the twinge of envy inside of her. There had been a certain charm to hooking up with random people even if it had made her progressively more and more empty.
What she was about to contend with was the very opposite. Before she could go back to Ashton, Jade paused a few steps from his pack, not knowing their names, not particularly caring for any of them but not wanting to just leave Nora in this unknown city. “Can you make sure she doesn’t die or end up in a ditch somewhere, please?” Jade asked, casting a glance back to where her friend had disappeared, knowing Nora would be pissed if she thought Jade had set her up with babysitters but Jade had never quite recovered after Charlie. Always needing to know that her friends were safe. She had to at least hope Ashton’s pack would help this much. They nodded but kept quiet as if not trusting themselves to speak anymore around her. “Thanks,” she added, stealing a breath and heading back outside.
Ashton hadn’t moved and damn her, there was a whisper of a smile on her face at that fact. “You didn’t have to stay in that exact same spot,” Jade commented, passing by him to take up her previous position opposite him. This time, there was slightly less space between them. “Could of sat or…” Jade trailed off, knowing she was saying this to distract from everything he’d said before. Knowing he knew that, too. “Or we could walk,” Jade suggested, the idea dawning on her as something which felt far more natural than just talking at him. She’d walked New York to forget about him. Now she’d walk Houston to remember him.
To remember them.
“Yeah, yeah, lets walk,” Jade decided, nodding to herself and ready to go but Ashton seemed to hesitate, chucking a glance back at the bar and then to her, one question easy to read on his face, “I put your pack on guard dog duty, so, she’ll be fine, right?” Jade said which seemed answer enough to Ash. “Not that I think they’re dogs… I just,” Jade was really stalling, words just vomiting out of her. “You know, New York’s been weird for me,” Jade said as Ashton began walking, clearly figuring that was the only way to get Jade to actually respond to what he’d said before. “I’ve never been in one place for that long before. It was just me and Nora and our friends and there were no,” Jade spared a look up at Ashton, finding his eyes already on her, an unreadable expression in them. “Monsters or things that go bump in the night, besides the rats, to worry about. My parents know I’m not going back to that life and the last I heard they’d moved somewhere new but,” but she didn’t talk to them enough to know for sure or to have any idea where they would have gone. It was odd how she didn’t miss them. Ashton had told her that he’d slept with her sister because of the loss of his parents and here she was, feeling as if she were flourishing with the absence of hers.
They were at a pair of traffic lights, late night cars streaming by as Jade shuffled her feet. “I used to want to tell you I loved you every single day. Honestly every time you breathed I was worried it was gonna come out. I knew for certain that night at Eli’s house. We’d had an argument and I just felt myself unravelling without you and that day I’d been so paranoid because of Slots but then you’d turned up at the party and it was like every worry faded away because you were there. Obviously now,” Jade watched the traffic come to a stop but she didn’t have it in her to cross the road yet. “Now I guess you were with my sister that whole time you were ‘napping,’” she said, punctuating the last word with air quotes. “I don’t talk to her, ever,” Jade admitted as the lights went back to green and the dulcet tones of the cars picked up again. “But it’s fine.” And wasn’t that a lie. “Well, it’s not but,” but what? But he was here now? It occurred to her then. She had no idea what she wanted from this conversation.
“But, anyway, my point from earlier still stands, you don’t know what it’s like to be with me without her to lean back on. We were always different growing up but it wasn’t like I couldn’t be mean or harsh or have bad days like she could. I feel like everyone just saw us as some weird sweet and sour pair but I can be sour but obviously… it’s all relative and I don’t even know what I’m saying, fuck.” Jade was losing it, losing her grip on reality and on keeping this conversation on track. A ragged breath and then, “no one knew who I was until Nora. I stopped pretending with her. I’m different now, Ash” and fuck, why did she have to say his name like that, like some desperate plea, a warning that tears were going to come again. “I’m not who I was and I’m happy for that. I don’t hide from my emotions anymore or what hurt me like I did after Slots. So I can’t promise that I’ll be okay because I feel like I’ve only been alive for the last four years.” A hand was wrapping around her shoulders and she couldn’t stop herself when she leaned into him, when she pulled her arms around Ashton’s torso and held him tightly, eyes shut tight against the evening breeze and just clinging to him. From the firm grip he had on her, she could only help but wonder if he were clinging to her as well. Wreck, lost, fool. That’s how he’d described himself. It was almost laughable how similarly she’d felt without him but in feeling so destroyed and in finding pieces of happy within that, she’d bloomed.
She’d thought memories of him were poison but they were fertiliser. Growing and nurturing her to become who she was now. Still her, still rambly and unable to form a coherent thought but unafraid to let people know how she was feeling.
She wasn’t sure how long they stood there, clinging onto each other like life lines but eventually her head quieted. Eventually she no longer felt like talking just to stall and prolong time. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready. But she was done waiting.
Four years out of Beacon Hills. Four years to mend that fragile, splintered heart of hers. Four years to feel like enough. Four years to forget that laugh, that smile, that damn charming accent and the way she felt like honey around him. Four years and she still only felt like enough half of time. Four years and her heart still wasn’t beating properly. Four years and she’d never had another boyfriend. Four years and that country accent had turned into something menacing and toxic but it haunted her dreams nonetheless. Four years later and she was still a mess.
Four years and Jade had never gotten over him. Four years and her heart had never recovered because he held the other part of it. Four years and she’d learnt that she felt like enough around her friends and that was enough. Four years and so many different beds later. Four years and he’d said everything she’d wanted and never wanted to hear all at once. Four years later and yeah, she was a mess, but she was hers. She belonged to herself.
“This is nice,” she mumbled against his chest and there it was, that small olive branch, such simple words but she was no longer lashing out at him or monologuing about how she’d changed, implying he couldn’t love her now because he didn’t know who she was because hell, she barely knew who she was. But she was reaching out and there were still plenty of insults she could have thrown his way and if they stayed in touch, they probably would come out at some point but right there, Jade just wanted the quiet peace that had entered her mind with the comfort of knowing she’d be okay eventually - she’d made it this far. “You know, I’m going to take you being scared of me as a win, I don’t think anyone has found me scary in my whole life.” Jade added and why the fuck was she making jokes about what he’d said? It was serious but she just couldn’t keep the tease from coming out. “Sorry, that’s not funny, I don’t know why I said that.” See, mess.
She knew she was keeping quiet on his declaration. She’d mentioned loving him past tense but now… Jade pulled back enough to look at him. “Some guy accused me of still being in love with you one Christmas,” Jade started, forcing herself to hold his eye even though that was an incredibly difficult task when they were so close together. “It felt so stupid. After everything you did. After all the hurt I went through to somehow still not hate you. It feels like hate sometimes. It’s this horrible, sickly feeling. Other times it’s just emptiness like there was something there, but now it’s gone. Then there’s the days where I swear, you’re in the room with me and everything is fine and then,” Jade’s brows furrowed together, fingers clutching the back of Ashton’s flannel as if that was keeping her upright, “I’d wake up. You’d be gone. I’d be in New York. The reality of what happened would come back in a flash. ‘Grey Jade Day’ my friends would say, I’d be in this terrible mood where I was just desperately trying to get rid of those good memories. But they’re burned in my heart, Ash. You are burned into my heart, I can’t get over you. I thought it was the situation and what happened which I just put down to you being a teenage dick after a while. Obviously, the reason you gave today is a… lot and I’m going to need to figure that one out but god, what am I saying, I never learnt to shut up.” She was talking so quickly she was amazed she didn’t pass out from lack of oxygen and she’d long since given up on him being able to pick this apart with ease.
“But no one else is you.” And she knew she’d be mad at herself for letting him back in. She knew she’d eventually rage at her foolishness but right now, she was giving in to her heart. As she always did when it came to him. “You’re not forgiven. But right now, for tonight, it’s forgotten.” She said, voice quietening, as her hands shifted, releasing from his shirt and pausing on his shoulders. She’d finally let him speak. She’d let him decide what to make of this. He loved her. She was silent on the matter. But hopefully he’d be able to put two and two together.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
299 posts.
18 years old.
two timin' hoe.
I am Male.
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Post by Ashton Pines on May 11, 2023 21:01:52 GMT
For a moment, Ashton wished for the concrete beneath his feet to collapse—for the planet to swallow him whole, sealing him away from everyone so he’d never be able to hurt anyone else ever again. So he’d never have to watch tears make a mess of Jade’s carefully crafted make-up, the black pools of mascara-stained tears trickling down her cheeks in rivulets. They carved careless tracks through blush and foundation. Ashton’s stomach plummeted at the sight, heart floundering like a marlin caught on land—a swordfish thrashing on a hook, detained for his crimes. He’d sliced through her heart yet again, ripping snug stitches from their fixtures. It was devastating to finally watch the tears he’d caused fall. That night so long ago, her eyes had watered but she’d spun on her heel and was out of sight before he ever got to see them splash against her rosy skin. He’d imagined it, tortured himself with the idea of them. Ashton had coddled Jade when she sniffled over a sappy movie, had held her as she wept into his chest as news of Charlie’s death was sent over a text. He’d pushed the tears from the corners of her eyes as she smiled up at him, moved by whatever cheesy gesture he’d done a moment before. Ashton knew what Jade looked like when she cried. Or he'd thought he did.
This… Ashton had never been suicidal. He’d never wanted to die. Not when the sheets were peeled back to haunt him with his parents' lifeless faces. Not when Jade had slipped through his fingers and not when he lost Erin too. Not when Jensen stopped answering his calls and Sabrina blocked his number on Blake’s phone. Not when he’d been at his lowest point, the loneliness a wicked, looming shadow—his skin pebbled and shivers resilient. Not until this moment. He wonders how much better life would be for those around him if he wasn’t here. Jensen and Blake and Murphy, they wouldn’t have suffered the guilt he’d forced upon them. Sabrina would have stood a chance in the pack. Erin would… she’d have her sister.
Jade wouldn’t… Jade wouldn’t be ruined. He did that. He so carelessly and thoughtlessly did this.
He swallowed hard, a near impossible feat with how thick his throat had become. As much as Ashton had yearned for this moment, for reconciliation and the chance to right his wrongs, he realizes now he would have never been ready to face the truth of what he’d done. It was glaring how unprepared he was for this, his own tears a mockery to the pain reflected in her eyes. How dare you was a cruel chorus repeating in his mind, watching her work through all he’d spilled upon her, a puddle at her feet that would soon drown her if she wasn’t quick to act. That’s how it had always been, hadn’t it? Ashton was all power, an all-encompassing force that devoured innocents. Jade never stood a chance. He never let her.
Ashton couldn’t tear his eyes from Jade, watching her tap her phone’s screen, wincing with each shattering clack of her fingers against the tempered glass. It was so loud in the silence, his ears ringing with the melody of those short, six letters. The sounds of the city had faded into the background, a murmur of cars and music and people. He held his breath as she stepped forward, locked onto her seasick gaze and praying that God continued to grant him a mercy he never deserved. She hadn’t said anything yet. He’d confessed his love and she was silent, tears smudged across her skin after her haphazard wiping. Ashton had never done well with silence or with being ignored, but he couldn’t move his lips. He couldn’t break the tension between them, some semblance of respect making a late appearance in his actions.
She didn’t owe him a damn thing.
And yet… wait here.
Jade didn’t give him a chance to respond, his head swiveling to watch her retreating form and his feet planted firmly in their spot. Did that mean…? No, no she wasn’t giving him a chance, right? Ashton didn’t move, so scared that if he shifted even an inch, reality would prevail and snap him from this daydream he’d lost himself in. He tilted his head to the sky, staring at the sprinkling of dim stars—hidden in the glow of the city and the fog of clouds. Was it his mother looking out for him? God? Some other benevolent force? He didn’t know, but he was thankful.
His fingers itched for his phone, to pull it out and send a simple, pathetic opener to his cousin.
”I don’t get why you keep hesitating,” Ashton had turned towards the voice, blinking slowly at the redhead beside him. Dani continued, eyes on horizon—her hair shimmering in the evening breeze, aglow in the oranges and pinks of the setting sun, “It’s not like he blocked you. Jensen would answer if you needed him.” She turned to him then, lips pursed in a pretty, pink pout and eyes stern. She was no bullshit. She never had been. Ashton needed that, needed her.
“I know he would, but I,” he sighed, searching for the right words and she waited, stare hard and curious all the same, “I can’t do that to him. I fucked him over so bad before. He finally got out, you know? Wouldn’t be fair to pull him back to deal with my shit again.”
“Says you,” she hummed with finality, turning her eyes back to the sky and scooting into a more comfortable position—leg pressed to his and arms behind her head. They were on the hood of his pick-up, propped up against the windshield as the world grew dark as dusk descended upon them. Dani was as close to a girlfriend as Ashton had ever had before Jade. He’d grown up with her. Had fucked around with her without things ever getting messy. She was easy, like one of the guys. It wasn’t until his second year home that he had finally caved and sought comfort in her again. She welcomed him with open arms and no expectations. She knew him, knew her place in his life and accepted that place would never be in his heart. Ashton didn’t know how to express how thankful he was for her. She didn’t ask him to.
“Yeah, says me,” he huffed, arms crossed across his chest as he looked away from her, “You wouldn’t get it. You weren’t there. What I did… it was beyond fucked up. I don’t deserve a second chance even if he was willing to give me one.”
“Not really for you to decide,” Dani chimed, looking his way once more and he was drawn to her, meeting her gaze head on and settling in the warmth her brown eyes held, “I mean, yeah. Great thought. Kudos to you for being the big man and realizing you fucked up, but like, you don’t get to just erase him from your life because you think that’s the right thing to do. What if he needs you too? You think about that, hot shot?”
And no, he hadn’t. Ashton dropped back onto his back, watching the stars blink in the blue of the sky as the sun disappeared from view. He had assumed that Jensen hadn’t wanted to speak to him, but his cousin had never said that. What if… what if Jensen needed him too. Ashton sat on the thought, but couldn't send the text. He was stuck on his good intentions, convinced Jensen was truly better off without him.
“Guess I haven't,” Ashton admitted and Dani didn’t press the topic any longer, watching idly as he tucked his phone back into his pocket without sending out the text he had typed.
He never did send that message and Dani never asked again. Shortly after that night, she left the Sanctuary, packing a small bag to hitchhike to the west coast. She had a pretty face and wanted to see what it looked like on the big screen. Ashton hadn’t been with many others since. Fleeting hook-ups and one night stands. A dismal amount of sex. He could count on one hand with how many people he’d fucked since Jade ran out of his room in the cabin that night four years ago. Maybe he was punishing himself. He hated to think that the reality was he truly just couldn’t get it up for anyone else. He’d been spoiled by the Little’s, having his pick of the pair at any given time. Double-dipping and betraying.
The truth was that he couldn’t imagine being intimate with anyone else. After Jade caught him with Erin, in Erin, something changed. It didn’t feel right with anyone else, not even those few times he’d crawled into Dani’s bed after coming back to Texas. He’d get the itch and his hand was never enough. The girls, God, he pitied them, but they weren’t either. Jade had truly devastated his sex life, a bitter taste in the back of his throat each time he shimmied between a girl’s legs. He could see her in the corner of his eye with a horrified, glassy look on her face, the shattering of the pottery echoing in his ears.
He wasn’t lying when he’d said she haunted him. As much as he’d wrecked her, she’d done the same to him. Except he deserved the hurt and the misery.
She never had.
Before Ashton could realize he’d been lost in a hazy memory and that he hadn’t moved even an inch, Jade was back. He couldn’t say how long it had been (seconds, minutes, hours maybe), but she had come back and she was standing closer than before. Ashton didn’t miss that little detail. A small smirk tilted his lips, the right corner tucked up and eyes gone soft and warm as she stumbled over her words. For as much as things had changed, some things just never would.
Perhaps he hadn’t destroyed as much of her as he’d feared.
As she stepped around him, beginning to guide him on this impulsive venture, Ashton found himself hesitating. He doesn’t know what she told Nora, doesn’t know how she convinced her best friend to give her more time, but he was certain Nora would lose her shit if she came out here and didn’t see Jade in sight. He didn’t want to cause her any more problems than he already had, didn’t want her to lose someone close to her because of him again. But Jade stood firm in her decision, and he couldn’t help but bristle slightly at the term ‘pack’ falling from her pretty mouth. It didn’t feel right. As much as the boys around that table were his brood, they weren’t the family he’d known—the one she’d known. They’d keep Nora safe, though. His smile grew, he couldn’t help but think Nora was a bit of a guard dog herself.
And to think… Jade went up to his boys and asked such a thing of them—to trust them with her best friend because of their relation to Ashton, it had his skin buzzing. He wanted to see it as a positive, but she still hadn’t said anything about him being in love with her and that buzz quickly became an itch under his skin. He nearly laughed. Texas has been weird for him too. Everything has been so fucking weird without her by his side.
He took a step forward, realizing she would continue to babble and stumble over her words if he didn’t take the initiative to start their walk. Ashton had to hear her response, to know how she felt about what he’d said. It was eating him alive. He wonders if she was stalling on purpose, letting the thoughts fester and the worry worsen—a small pain compared to the agony he’d put her through.
Hell, he wonders why she’s talking to him at all. After everything, after what he just said—how could she be so… so normal? So calm and far more collected than he expected. She was jibbering and he was hung on every word but couldn’t escape the nagging feeling that it felt too easy.
Was this a dream? Maybe he’d fallen off of the stage during their set earlier in the evening and was fighting for his life in the ICU downtown. Which, being an alpha werewolf, was for all intents and purposes an impossible thing, but hey, he was grasping at straws trying to understand Jade’s motives.
Maybe she missed him. Maybe she loved him back.
Ashton knew that was too hopeful to think.
He tried not to take it personal when she said monsters, noting her hesitation on the word and the way her eyes dimmed when they locked onto his. She wasn’t wrong, to be fair. Ashton knew damn well what he was and monster was a close fit.
He liked hearing about her life, as painful as it was that he wasn’t a part of it—that he hadn’t lived these last years with her like they’d talked about. Nora seemed good for her. It was a lot all at once and Ashton knew to keep quiet until she gave him permission to speak (more like he was afraid if he interrupted, the spell would be broken and she’d run from him all over again, but that was neither here nor there). He didn’t like that she didn’t speak to her parents often, hating thinking that she was completely isolated in New York because of what he’d done.
To lose Erin was one thing, but her whole family? His stomach knotted.
Ashton had been careful with his pace, matching hers and mindful of the distance between their bodies. He stopped when she stopped, turning his back to the road to face her—a safety barrier between her and the infrequent vehicles humming past. He tried to keep his face stoic, not wanting to give too much away at those words—tell you I loved you—but he knew his eyes betrayed him. They were a clover green, dark in the night lights but sparkling with the luck of a man in love finally within reach of his beloved. He wishes she had, wishes she’d have grasped his cheeks in her palms and cried it out or whispered it in his ear as she thought he was falling asleep. If she had said it, what would have changed? Everything, he thinks, but it was impossible to know.
He still would have been a cheater. He just wouldn’t have gotten caught.
Would he have told her? Would he have hoped she’d be able to forgive him if he’d apologized? Or would he have lied? Would he have kept Erin a dirty little secret and denied all responsibility to what he’d done. He didn’t know. He didn’t want to.
He remembered that night, remembered how it was on the tip of his tongue too. Remembers how fucking guilty he felt because that’s the day he fucked everything to hell. It was one thing blaming Erin, letting her come to him, but he’d sought her out and made something so devious incredibly permanent. He couldn’t pretend anymore. Ashton couldn’t look at her as she slotted the puzzle pieces together, gulping around the swell of shame and kicking the toe of his shoe into the gravel. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had spent those first few months nitpicking over every time she couldn’t account for where he or Erin were. She must have pulled apart those special moments, thinking they were all lies when not all of them were. And it was fair of her to do so.
Ashton looked at Jade with caution as she mentioned Erin, knowing damn well she was lying before she admitted it. Hate wasn’t a strong enough word for what he felt towards himself for coming between the twins. Yeah, Erin came onto him first, but he could have said no. He should have. He let desire and fear tear apart a family. He gave up the best thing that ever happened to him because of a maybe.
He should get ‘damn fool’ tattooed on his forehead.
What Jade was saying was fair but it didn’t mean that Ashton had to like it. He bit his lower lip to stop it from popping out into a pout, fighting to keep his eyes on her face instead of cutting them away like he wanted. Ashton had to face what he’d done, had to accept his fate. He hurt her. He deserved to feel uncomfortable and uneasy in the wake of her emotions. The idea that he didn’t know the real her, that Nora was the first seemed impossible. He loved Jade. He knew Jade. He couldn’t say that now, she wouldn’t believe him. But he had always seen through her. He let her get away with the facade then because it was easier. If he could go back in time… God, if he could.
Ash. He wanted to weep. He wanted drop down to his knees and pray to the Goddess she was for blessing him with such a sound. Ashton never thought he’d hear that melody again. Everything she was saying filled in him with hope, it was almost as if she was giving him an in and offering a future. Maybe he was reading into it too much. Fuck it if he was. Her shaky voice, the way she’d cried his name—Ashton knew he was pushing it, but there was no stopping his arm from wrapping around her shoulder and pulling her close. He was warmer than the evening’s chill, a furnace offering solace and a place to hide and she accepted it. She held him back.
No one pinch him. He wasn’t ready to wake up. In four years, he’d never felt so whole.
When she spoke next, he nodded, unsure if she felt what she couldn’t see, but he still couldn’t speak up. She stole his voice, held it captive. It was nice and he laughed at her attempted joke, finding the outburst a nice break from the heavy conversation. It was almost as if they could go back… He knew it was a foolish thought. He’d have this evening and she’d be gone in the wind all over again. She’d get her closure and he’d be lost once more.
He leaned away as she did, catching her gaze and shifting his hands to cradle the middle of her back—keeping her close, making sure this was real because in no way was she saying what he thought she was. Still. No fucking way. After everything he did, after everything that happened—still. He blinked away the dampness in his eyes, flushing it to the corners but not letting it fall. He didn’t know how he felt about what followed, hanging onto that still and running with it, but he couldn’t ignore what she’d said. During the affair, he needed to see them as polar opposites. He couldn’t tell her now that Grey Day Jade ate him up inside because she had always been his sunshine. Jade was his sunny days and butterflies. Erin had always been midnight rain and cateyes. Hearing that they were more alike than not made everything even that much more moot. He’d banked on their differences as a reason, but all it had ever been was an excuse.
Ashton hoped she could see the apologies in his eyes. He’d never be able to say it enough. He was sorry. So fucking sorry.
Burned onto her heart. Can’t get over him. No one else is Ashton. He never thought he’d hear these words from her and his heart was swelling in his chest. Ashton almost wanted to look around, searching for the cameras and someone to pop out and say he’s been punked, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Jade. In this moment, it was only them.
And she was finally passing the mic to him.
Fuck. What was there to say?
Ashton, as much as he’d like to think he’d become a better man than the boy he’d been, at his core was manipulator. He knew he couldn’t bring up Erin now. He had to be careful with what he addressed and how he said it. He didn’t want to kill this chance before he could fix what he’d wronged—or at least try to.
“That was a lot,” he started, a laugh making the words airy and if he had a free hand, he would have rubbed at the back of his neck but like hell was he letting Jade go, “I mean, just give me a second to collect my thoughts. Never have been much of a rambler like you.” And his voice was so thick with southern charm, having taken a Texas turn the longer he’d been home. He wondered if she liked it, but quickly squashed that thought. His fingers tapped at her back anxiously. He wanted to apologize again, but she’d already said it was forgotten (and like hell was he going to spoil that gift by bringing it all back up). He wanted to ask if she loved him back, but he didn’t want to be too giddy or overwhelming and scare her off. He had to move at her pace.
Ashton had to do this right.
“Always knew New York would be good for you,” he spoke softly, so close to her that he tailored his voice for intimacy, “I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I wanted to be there with you and watch you grow. You were too big for our small town, trying to fit yourself inside a box and I let you. God, I,” he pursed his lips for a moment before admitting again, “I was such a damn fool, Jay.” He couldn’t help himself, moving his left hand up to cup her jaw, thumb brushing her cheek. He was too comfortable touching her as he fought for the right words. What could he possibly say to all of that? “I’ll never be able to tell you how much I hate myself for what happened, but I am happy you were able to find yourself through all of that and that you got someone like Nora and, uh,” he tried to remember the names on the phone, the couple who had gotten engaged, “Kate and Mason, was it?” And she knew he’d always been nosey, sending Blake out to get information and eating it all up once he got back with the details. “Glad you weren’t alone through it all,” not like he’d been. Murphy was not one to offer emotional support, though he was at his side. Jensen had been quick to flee Beacon Hills to college and Sabrina and Blake were out of town before he could part his lips. Deserved, though. It had taken time for him to come to terms with his actions and the repercussions. As much as the four years had killed him, he was glad it was now that they’d met and not sooner.
“I don’t know what I’m saying,” he admitted, a sheepish curl to his lips and a blush high on the apples of his cheeks, “I mean, I meant all of that, but I’m trying real hard to not ask what you know I want to ask. And I know damn well I have no right to ask,” but she knew him, she must have known he didn’t want her vague answer. He wanted to hear the words, he needed her to tell him that she still loved him. That despite it all, maybe there was a chance at redemption. “I’m not who I was back then either, Jade. I was a stupid, careless kid who hurt you so damn bad, but I never wanted to. I never meant to hurt you. It was a fucked attempt at self-preservation and I take full accountability of my actions and I’ll never forgive myself for what I put you through.” He took a breath, searching her eyes for a moment before dipping his head down and pressing his forehead to hers. His eyes shuttered shut, a shaky inhale before he whispered, “But I’ve grown up. I’ve been working on the ranch and not just freeloading. I’m a real alpha, too. Been leading the pack. I ain’t been with too many girls either. It just… it’s never been right. I’ve really tried stepping up and doing better, you know—looking out for people, not just myself. And I, damn, I don’t know what I’m asking for, Jay-bird. I know things won’t ever be what they were and I’m not deluded enough to think you’d ever take me back, but,” he leaned back then, already mourning the loss of the close proximity, “Let me take you for a drive.” It felt like a bold ask. He didn’t know how she’d feel being secluded with him in a vehicle, at his mercy to wherever he wanted to go.
“Nora will be safe with my boys, I promise you that,” Ashton swore, as if to better assure his chances, “And we won’t go far. I’ll drop you off wherever you’re staying—or Hell, anywhere you want if you don’t want me knowing your hotel—whenever you're ready, just… please.” For old times’ sake. There’d been too many nights he’d guided her out to the Jeep, driving mindlessly around Beacon Hills and swapping stories or singing along with the radio. It had been one of their safe spaces. It had always been so private and just them, so far away from everyone else. He needed that now.
Maybe he’d be okay without hearing her say those three little (massive, so important) words if she agreed.
“I know it’s asking a lot,” he hesitated, once again finding shame in his eagerness. Just because she was talking to him didn’t mean she had the same end goal he did. “You can tell me no and I’ll fuck right off. You don’t owe me a damn thing,” and yet, he didn’t move away from her, still just a breath away—arm snug around her waist and palm burning her cheek. He smoothed his thumb over her pink skin, savoring the soft blush there and exhaling with finality.
The decision will always be hers to make. Ashton could only hope it would be in his favor.
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Hunters
Written by Jasmin.
132 posts.
18 years old.
in looooove.
I am Female.
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Post by Jade Little on Jul 9, 2023 9:20:00 GMT
She knew her babbling was preventing him from speaking without completely cutting her off but his stoic silence next to her was, if anything, spurring her on - terrified of what could happen when she fell silent. What he’d say. How he’d react. There were so many unknowns between them. Jade had no idea what her life would be now if he’d stayed in it.
Her stomach twisting, that nauseous question sputtering into her mind like a dirty old train going too fast on squeaky tracks - what if she’d never walked in on him and Erin? What if she’d never found out? How long could he have kept up his doting boyfriend charade? How much of her life would be a lie? How many more people would know but hide it from her, letting her play the naive fool?
Nora wouldn’t hide it from her. It was the greatest comfort her best friend provided. True, untamed honesty. There was no bullshit between them. Just the facts. If Nora had caught wind of Ashton and her sister, she’d have told Jade within an instant, holding her hand whilst she did but knowing it was the right thing to do. Kate and Mason would be a little more gentle with their approach but they all knew not to hide things from one another. Not after Nora told them more about her family and her ex-boyfriend. How they only really wanted to marry her off to him and be done with it. Not after Mason revealed the way he’d been bullied through middle and high school, only gaining some grains of respect when his body starting filling out and he was no longer an easy target. Not after Kate told them of her time in a rehabilitation centre. She’d gone too far, pushed her body and mind in ways she shouldn’t have. Too much money, too little supervision. She’d spent the entire summer between junior and senior year of high school hidden away, her family telling all their upper class friends that she was on vacation in Europe when instead, she was in some facility the next town over sobering up. Kate’s family had only started caring when she’d gotten out and their carefree daughter ceased to exist.
They had to be honest with one another. It was the only thing holding each of them together.
But now she was finally being truly honest with him. The mask had truly fallen away. With him, she had nothing to lose anymore.
Yet, in his arms, the stakes grew second by second. Like slotting back into a life she thought was long gone and over. The warmth radiating off of him was like the first warm spring day after a long, cruel, dark winter. The kind where daylight never seemed to truly come and you could never be warm enough at night. A permanent dampness and iciness settling in your bones. The hold he had on her was sunlight breaking through thick grey clouds lighting the world up and melting away the permafrost that so desperately tried to plunge them into misery.
Eyes shuttered closed, she couldn’t help herself from breathing him in, for listening out for his heartbeat and pretending that they were the same people from before.
But his hair was different and she had a whole new life.
Nothing was the same.
Except for the way her heart mellowed out around him.
That, in the most frustrating way possible, was the same as it had always been. Although, mellowed was probably the wrong word. Giddy felt far more accurate. But that was almost as painful as his laugh. It was far too easy to slip back into that mindset with him. Damn all four years of rebuilding herself and getting over him. Getting over them. One conversation with him and she was right back there, irrespective of the past.
There was no getting past him. Not when his hands held her steady at her lower back, holding her upright and close to him. Not when the look in his eyes was going to haunt her for a lifetime. All that sorrow, those held back tears and the yearning still buried within them. She knew now she’d be falling asleep to them burned in her retinas for weeks to come. Terrorising and haunting her. But that was no different from the reality she’d be living since moving to New York. He was always there, in the back of her mind. For good or for bad.
Her breath sucked in as he started speaking, forcing her lips to not twist up into a smile at his laugh. Heartbeat quickening as it confirmed that she still had that ability to amuse and entertain him. Yet, each word he spoke was a reminder of how much time had passed, that his life was different beyond just the new haircut. Texas was his home again. He was surrounded by different pack members and held an entirely changed role now he was older. Now, as she’d promised their past was forgotten for the night, she wanted so desperately to ask him about his new life. How was he finding it? Did he feel at home here? Was this where he wanted to stay? What was it like truly being alpha?
Before the questions could start pouring out of her in a way which would undoubtedly come across as a mini interrogation in her keenness to find out about who the new Ashton was, he started speaking properly. That tone of voice, that familiar intimacy, her fingers curled into his shoulders in response, her body reacting in ways of the past. What he was saying only made her heart groan in the seasoned way it had grown used to back in Beacon Hills. As if every word he said was plucked from the stars just for her. Damn fool. Jade’s lips fell, sadness radiating off of her face at his dismissive words for himself. Any words to defend him (stupid, obviously he didn’t need defending but her heart was in control again now) fell apart at his hand on her jaw. She cracked a small, reassuring smile to confirm their names were Kate and Mason, not wanting to actually say something and derail him. She knew she was lucky to have found her friends in New York, to have the four of them be so tightly bonded and open to helping one another. They felt like the universes gift after leaving her so stranded and alone after high school.
For a second they were smiling at the same time and it felt as if all the stars in the universe had aligned at that very moment to commemorate the shared look between them. Her smile faded a little, stars blinking out into nothing as he prodded her a little. She knew he wanted her to say it. One way or another he needed to know how she felt now because she’d told him about teenage her and her feelings then. But she’d grown up. She’d created a new identity. Her feelings could be completely different.
Yet, just as she was thinking of her new self he was telling her how he’d changed, too. Her eyes flicked away from his, studying a point in the distance, a streetlight whose bulb flickered ever so slightly, unable to maintain eye contact with him as he lamented that he never meant to hurt her.
I take full accountability of my actions. Her eyes lurched back to his then, a glimmer of hope inside of her that started to think he’d actually changed. That he’d accepted what he’d done beyond just a desperate plea to be in her good books again. Her forehead met his with ease, feet a little unsteady and grateful that he was holding onto her. Without her torrent of questions, he started to give details about his new life. The briefest comment and hint towards being with other girls had a tight knot forming in her abdomen. One which she knew wasn’t exactly fair given the way she’d been behaving in New York. Hell, even in the bar before he came and spoke to her. But still, let a girl live. At least there was some comfort in him admitting it had never felt right with anyone else. She knew the sentiment all too well.
Jay-bird. Images of Blake’s cheeky smile and continuous winks sent her way flickered in to her mind. Followed swiftly by evening run-ins in the kitchen with Sabrina, both of them searching for a clean glass in the cabin and settling for sharing one before heading back to Blake and Ashton’s rooms. Jensen was there, always so worried after she went after the rogue pack that he seemed to do a quick once over of her every time she walked into a room, paranoid that she’d snuck off again and gotten herself injured. Murphy with his sarcasm and lack of sincerity was still a bright spot as she thought of the delicious meals he’d prepare for them all.
Maybe Ashton should have allowed himself to be more deluded as she lost herself in reminiscing and daydreaming.
His request had her head moving back, not quite sure how quickly to react - for good or bad - to his offer. His reassurances about Nora had her soul softening, weakening at that simple care he demonstrated for her friend, and Jade in turn. His offer had her memory stirring further, opening up boxes of flashbacks and echoes of the past which she’d kept tucked away in a dusty attic in her mind.
“Okay.” The word was a breath, a tether she didn’t know she was holding onto as she finally succumbed. Giving in to her wants. “But not far, I can’t-,” what, what could she not do? Any of this, quite frankly. She’d have hell to pay from her friends tomorrow. If Rose found out she’d undoubtedly be receiving a call from her adoptive family where Natalia only had to stare at her through a screen to make Jade feel about 2 feet tall. But, the Harpers didn’t need to know. At least not immediately. For now she could keep on pretending that this was the start of a new chapter in her life. In his, too. She wouldn’t go so far as to refer to it as their life but… it was impossible to think that some of her life decisions weren’t driven by the possibility of a them after all, as sickening as that was. Her mind had a habit of wandering off, letting her heart put in its two deadly cents.
But what she couldn’t do was put Nora at risk. That loyalty went too far. “I can’t be far from Nora.” She finished which sounded stupid, like a child who was unable to be separated from their baby blanket. But Nora was her security and her bit of peace. As much as she wanted to put her blind faith in Ashton’s pack, she had to think like a hunter a little too. Even if she hated that thought just as much. They were strangers to her. If it had been Sabrina and Jensen she’d have left without even needing to tell them to keep an eye on Nora. She trusted them. Or, at least, she had. She couldn’t help it, she knew she should have stayed focused but she had to ask, “did they ever come to Texas?” They the word was extra quiet, a whisper on the wind as she hesitated to actually get the question out. But she needed to know, had his pack, his true family, ever come home to him. She knew Sabrina probably never had, which meant Blake was unlikely as well. Jensen, however, was his blood. Had there ever been a reconciliation?
There was that nagging insecurity from when she was a child in the back of her mind, telling her that if he’d lost those closest to him, surely there’d be some underlying resentment towards her. Maybe if she’d forgiven him, he’d still have them. Then a brief spot of panic, what if this was a trick? What if this was some long game, telling her what she wanted to hear to then put her in the wolf den where she could be ripped apart? After all, tearing up his pack made her an excellent hunter. So close to him, Jade felt that pulse of anxiety blossom, rose tinted glasses starting to slip. The ‘okay’ she’d muttered a minute before felt foreign as her brain started to regain ground, pushing her heart aside. She was like this more and more - hot and cold. Finding settling on decisions increasingly difficult the closer she’d gotten to graduation when the world beyond that fateful ceremony felt like one big question mark.
But, there was something else she needed confirming. A breath and then, “you love me?”. She needed to know it was love and not hate which fuelled him right now. There was such a fine line between the two. She could understand if it was the latter after his pack left him. “You’re not… mad?” Leaving Ashton, making that decision in that split moment where she saw him with her twin still felt like the bravest thing she’d done. In those seconds she’d made a choice, knowing it would hurt but ultimately knowing it was what she had to do. It still hurt. In his arms again, her heart felt tender and sore, still in its healing process but finally getting the answers it had been desperate for for years.
She hated how her question made her seem small but she couldn’t willingly get into his car without knowing that this wasn’t some ploy to ruin her life.
So, yeah, maybe she couldn’t trust him. Even if she wanted to.
Maybe there’d always be these questions. Maybe one day she’d find some peace and she’d be able to believe that he did love and care for her. But right now, doubts were clouding her logic.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
299 posts.
18 years old.
two timin' hoe.
I am Male.
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Post by Ashton Pines on May 9, 2024 19:11:31 GMT
Once more, Ashton found himself stunned at how easy this seemingly was. Okay. It was said in a breathless sigh, a rush of air without pause. Okay. Like ‘no’ wasn’t an option, and his chest felt heavy with the hope she was fostering. The hesitancy that followed had a smile curling the right edge of his lips upwards, fond of the way she tried to keep control of the situation. He had worried over this moment for so long, for four years—waiting for the chance to bandage their shattered heart pieces, to make amends with what he’d done to her. And it seemed like he was saying every right thing (which he knew in the depths of his brain he wasn’t, he was plundering every other paragraph that left his lips, but his heart was much louder with its hopes than his mind was with its caution). Jade was just so receptive to his words, to his touches. It was like she yearned for him almost as much as he did for her, that sliver of hope blossoming into a kaleidoscope of colors in his chest with each passing moment. Despite what he’d done, despite the time apart—they were tethered by an invisible string, something that couldn’t be severed no matter how sharp the blade was, no matter how deep it cut. A sizable part of him found guilt in how smooth their reconciliation had been thus far, knowing he didn’t deserve even a second of her time and amazed that he was allowed to hold her close now, teeth sparkling in the night as it soon became impossible to keep the giddiness from his face. His eyes were alight and his cheeks burned in the streetlight’s glow.
He nodded to her request, knowing he’d do damn well anything to keep her at his side for as long as possible—and he meant that in as non-creepy of a way as he could. Ashton wanted a second chance more than he wanted his next breath. He’d give up anything she asked for, would drop to his knees and beg in the prettiest curl of words and promises if that’s what it took. But he’d let her go if she wanted to leave. Maybe with his phone number on a slip of paper, but he wouldn’t force her into any more time with him than she was willing to give.
In a surprising turn of events, Ashton had in fact matured through this experience.
Ashton respected her loyalty to her friend, a pang echoing in his heart knowing he truly didn’t know a damn thing about loyalty. He doesn’t think he ever did, not until after that night—after he only had Murphy at his hip and his friends who couldn’t put their two cents into a situation they weren’t a part of. Their loyalty was to him and sometimes he didn’t know if it was to him as a friend or as an alpha. His loyalty to them… it took a lot more introspection to figure out just what that meant. He’d thought he’d been a good friend, but when everything crumbled around him after that night, it was clear he’d never been. He’d lost them all, one by one walking out the door and slamming it shut behind them. He was maybe loyal once, good to them when they were young, but when he came back to Beacon Hills to stay, he was different and he could blame it on his parents’ deaths all he wanted, but his actions and choices were his alone. He chose to cheat with Erin. He brought her back to the cabin where his pack could hear every whisper and moan and slap of skin against sweaty skin. He put them in a position to lie, to deceive Jade. He didn’t give them a choice in the matter, didn’t care about their feelings before shoving them in the middle. Ashton was selfish and careless and a monster like any other. He destroyed those bonds, burned those bridges with gasoline and arrogance. His loyalty had faltered, had only been to himself and that was his own damn fault.
They were right there. All of them, they were right fucking there for him and he pushed and shoved and denied any ounce of help they offered to him because he didn’t want to be weak, but he always had been. Red eyes or not, the supernatural strength and prowess of a boxer meant nothing in the wake of his stunted emotional intellect.
But he’d grown, or he liked to think he did. Losing his family, losing Jade—it was a rude fucking awakening. It forced him to grow up, to put in the work to change for the better and he still had a long way to go, but he was trying.
His relationships with his friends were now much more of a give and take, a balancing act that Ashton was managing with more and more ease with each passing day. He still had his role as a leader, as the Alpha of the pack and head of the cattle business the Sanctuary brokered, but he didn’t let it go to his head. When his friends needed something, he was right there—giving the shirt off his back or the key to his truck or any of the spare beds in his house. He tried to care about others more than himself—and it was a lot easier nowadays, anything to keep Jade off his mind (she was always there, always).
Ashton blinked down at Jade then, slow and dumbfounded as she brought up his former pack members (his friends, his family). It was as if she could read his mind, or maybe he’d had his thoughts written plainly on his face. He leaned away just a sliver, trying to understand where the question was coming from—stalling, because no, they hadn’t. They’d written him off and that was deserved. There was water on his lash line, but he didn’t let it fall, instead gulping down the feelings and trying to think of what to say—what could he say?
It was embarrassing—pathetic, even. He’d gone from top dog, the one in charge to nothing to them. A fuck-up, a disgusting pig. He could hear Sabrina’s voice ringing in his ears, the dead tone when he tried to call Blake only to find his number had been blocked, the finality of Jensen's last goodbye over the tinny phone speaker. He’d lost them all because he’d been greedy and selfish and awful. The consequences of his own actions stung like a fucking bitch.
Before he could form the truth in words he didn’t want to say, she was speaking again (and really, he should have expected that).
His brows drew in close, confusion creasing his forehead and his mouth falling open. The first part, he knew she’d have doubts. Who was he to confess his love after what he’d done and how long it had been? It made sense for her to not believe him, to twist his words into him just saying anything he could to get her to stick around—thinking he was playing her, and that broke his heart, but he got why she felt that way. But the second part… he reeled back some, putting more space between them but not removing his palms from her cheek and back.
How…
How could she think he was mad at her? What could he be mad about? He was his own undoing. Not her. Did she really think that?
“Jade,” he said in a breath, airy and desperate and so damn sad, “Oh god, Jade, no. I’m not and have never been and never will be mad at you. The only person I blame is myself, okay? I made my choices and I understand the consequences of my actions are my own. You leaving? God, I’m so proud of you for doing that. I know I had you wrapped up in me, Jay, and I can’t tell you how proud I am of you for leaving and not looking back. It fucking stung—god, it hurt worst than,” his parents, he’d never said it out loud or even compared the two events in his mind before but standing here now with the words on the tip of his tongue, yeah, losing Jade was the worst of the two because he’d lost his future, his everything, “When my parents died, Jade. You were everything to me, and I know you have no reason to trust me now, but I mean that with everything I have in me. I was stupid and foolish and I was so fucking full of myself and I’m sorry, but I was never mad at you and I need you to believe that if that’s the only thing you do tonight.” He hoped she would know him better than to lie about his parents. Ashton was a master manipulator, but they were always off limits. It had taken him ages to even talk to her about them, to spill any kind of details about who they were and how they died. He wouldn’t lie about them then or now.
Trusting that he’d said enough on that matter, he worked his way back through her questions. Love. God, did he love her? More than anything. Still, to this day, and even more so now with her in his arms.
“I think I’ve loved you everyday I’ve known you, darling,” and there was a rumbling in his chest on the pet name, a familiar purr as the syllables rolled off his tongue, “But I know I have since that night you went after the rogue pack on your own. I… I didn’t know what love really was, and I knew I felt something for you, but that night—Jesus Christ, Jade, I thought I lost you. I don’t even remember the drive or getting in your room. It look everything in me not to say it that night—Jen, he had to talk me out of it because it wasn’t the right time, but I wish I had.” And there was a desperation in his voice then, remembering the helplessness he’d felt, knowing all he could do was siphon doses of her pain with his abilities. He wonders if he’d said it that night, what would it have changed? With Erin sat on the opposite side of her, if it would have driven her away or forced her closer in her own act of desperation. It didn’t matter. God, nothing about Erin mattered anymore. “I just, everything made sense suddenly. I loved you. I didn’t want to lose you, I don’t know what I would have done if Sabrina hadn’t found you.”
His voice tapered off, because he knew he loved Jade and still slept with Erin afterwards. It felt watered down, useless to say because how was that love? Ashton knew it was. His actions with Erin didn’t take away what he felt for Jade, it just made him a shitty person. But he was different now.
He promises he is different now.
“And I still do,” his voice was soft, but his words were firm—no room for hesitation or question. He closed that gap between them, leaning in so their chests brushed and their foreheads touched—his palm moving in soothing circles on her back while the other pushed up her jaw and into her hair, thumb caught on the skin between her ear and cheekbone. “I love the girl you were and I will love the woman you've become too once I got to know her,” there was an ‘if’ unsaid, if he got to know her, “Every single fucking day, I’ve thought about you. There’s no one else for me. Four years, Jade. I’ve had four years to move on, but I didn’t want to even try. No one else is you. You’re it for me. I realized too late and I'm,” sorry, but he didn’t want to keep saying that when she’d said it was forgotten for the night. He swallowed instead, pulling away to catch her eyes more full, “I’m in love with you. I don’t know how not to be. You can go back in there now and ask the boys and they’ll tell you. Can’t tell you how many times they caught me on your socials,” and he laughed then, embarrassed and pink in the cheeks, knowing it was incredibly telling that people she'd never met before knew so much about her and the feelings that he held for her, “It’s a fucking miracle I hadn’t accidentally liked anything.” He paused for a moment, debating before admitting, “I knew you were on the road trip, but I… I never dreamed you’d come to Texas or that I’d somehow find you again. It just… it feels like fate, you know? Whatever happens after tonight, I’m just… I’m so damn happy I got to see you again, Jadey Baby, and that I got to tell you.” All of it. That he loved her and that he was sorry and why he did it.
He didn’t want to move on from her, though. A part of him felt healed, but there would always be a Jade shaped hole in his heart—in his soul, maybe.
Ashton wanted to kiss her so bad, to close the gap between their bated breaths—and he could taste her on his lips already, the humidity from her mouth soaking onto his tongue and it was so sweet and bitter all the same. Like a strawberry margarita, he wondered if that’s something she’d drank tonight.
But he stayed in his spot, so close, but it wasn’t his choice to make. He’d never forgive himself for upsetting her and that felt like a line she had to cross first.
“They never came,” he finally finished, sobering himself from the idea of sealing his lips over hers and forcing his eyes back to hers—he hadn’t realized he’d been tracing the shape of her mouth, seemingly fuller now than it had been before. She’d grown so much, filled in and matured in ways he’d wish he’d been there first hand to see. “I mean, I have Murphy,” and that was enough, he convinced himself that was enough, “And I talk to Jensen’s dad every now and then, but the rest, I don’t know—it’s been years.” His eyes dropped then, putting it together then that this was why she wanted to know if he was mad at her. The answer was still no, it was still his fault.
“Sabrina cursed me out the day they left and not long after Blake blocked my number, so about the same time I lost you, I lost them,” he summarized, keeping it brief because he didn’t want to relive that moment right now—couldn’t stomach the hurt of losing them anymore than he could the loss of Jade, “Jensen… it’s been about two years since I talked to him. Always just a phone call or text, I haven’t seen him since either.” And he looked up then, recalling what Dani had told him and wondering if Jade would think the same. They were alike in some ways, and it wasn’t until now that he realized Dani seemed to be a perfect mix of Erin and Jade—and she still wasn’t enough.
Because Ashton had never really wanted Erin at all.
“I had a friend tell me to call him, but I just couldn’t. I know he’d answer me, but I—I can’t,” his voice wavered, Jensen was the one that stung the most. His cousin, his blood—his brother, for all intents and purposes. “What I did to them all was fucking shitty, but to him… all he’d ever done for me was look out for me and I made him a liar, a fucking accomplice to what I did and he went along with it because he loved me and I just—I abused that love, and the trust he had in me. And I can’t face him. I know he’d pick up the call, but I can’t stomach letting him down again.” Once more, his eyes dropped, ashamed of the weakness he was displaying now, but knowing he had to answer her honestly. “Murphy stuck with me, though. He’s with his boyfriend tonight, ‘s why he’s not here, but he’s kept me in line. You know how he is—I mean, he’s changed too. I think you’d actually like him now,” he laughed, shaking his head at the softy his friend had become. He’d smoothed out his edges the farther he got away from California, from his mother and the loss of his dad. He found a good role alongside Ashton in the Sanctuary, fitting in better there than he had in the pack itself. A new slate is what they both had needed, but that didn’t stop them from missing who they’d lost.
With a long, shaky exhale, he looked back up at her with finality, handing the mic back to her. His hand stilled on the small of her back, but his thumb continued to stroke the soft skin by her ear, the rest of his fingers tangled in her hair. “What happened between me and them, though, was on me, Jade. I don’t have a damn thing but love for you, darling. I promise you that with everything I have in me,” his lips twitched upwards in a small smile, sincerity ringing through him like a church bell.
Ashton wouldn’t move until she did. His truck wasn’t going anywhere and the night was still young. He’d stand on this street corner for the rest of his life if that’s what she told him to do.
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