Post by Ashton Pines on May 27, 2022 3:07:45 GMT
Fate seemed like the wrong word. Fate was too kind and tender and sweet. It was a gentle nudge in the right direction, a feather-soft kiss on the temple, and a lingering perfume of roses and lilies. Fate was what good people earned. Decent people, even. Karma felt more appropriate. Temptation, maybe. Erin was temptation. The snake in his garden, offering him a sickly sweet apple. Crisp and round and bright red. Ashton was as foolish as Adam, sinking his teeth in the flesh of sin and savoring every bite. It was the best thing that had ever melted across his tongue. His heart had burst with the wealth of untapped emotion she filtered into him, his eyes seeking as they sloped down her curves. She was a serpent, slippery and striking. She was sin incarnate. He was no better.
It wasn’t fate that brought them together, it was the devil’s cradle rocking until they collided. Once he had hold of her, he couldn’t let go. Fingers trapped in the chinks of her armor, lips locked to the base of her neck. Erin was his moon, guiding him through shaded waters. To his death or to his victory, he couldn’t say. Ashton was bemused to discover he did not care, so long as it was her leading him along.
He should have pushed her off of him that night. He should have held her by the shoulders and told her no. He should have cursed her name and swore off ever being alone with her. Should have. Should’ve. Should’ve. Should’ve.
He didn’t.
He met her lips with unabashed eagerness. He pawed at her hips and pushed her skirt past her knees. He moaned her name and savored her taste. He had missed it. That tease in October had captivated him. He’d been yearning for the way her tongue carved along his teeth and burned the skin of his mouth. It was more hostile than Jade’s peppering of kisses. It was carnal and passionate and starving. It was a painting, brushed with hunger and tinted with desperation. It was a work of art, the color of adoration marred by the shadows of secrecy. Ashton took a piece of Erin and replaced it with one of his own, he embedded himself so deep within her that she’d ache when he was gone. A constant. A reminder. A tally mark in a journal and a black mark on her soul. Sweat pooled in the hollows of their collars, breaths panted and eyes squeezed shut as if to hide from the reality of their tragedy. It was play pretend, for show. They’d gotten what they wanted. There was no remorse. The promises they’d made were built on straw foundations. It would not be the last time. It was the beginning of the end.
A week later, her legs were spread in the backseat of his jeep and he was buried between them. She’d begged for a ride home to avoid the sky’s wrath, it was a flimsy excuse to be alone with him. Should’ve said no. Should’ve. Should’ve. He held the door open for her instead. The rain pounded outside of his vehicle, fogging the windows where they were pulled off on some dirt backroad. He held her like a lover, her nails broke the skin of his back. The wounds healed in moments, the desperate hickies she’d painted on his chest fading as they basked in the afterglow. The bruises his own lips had burned on her inner thighs blossoming into the pink of her skin. Their breaths mingled in the air, whispering words they could never say. Another promise made.
Another promise broken. Jade had begged for a day at the lake behind his family’s cabin, so they went. The pack crowded around the swimming hole. Water splashed and laughs echoed off the pines. His eyes were a brand on her skin–hot and searing. Her motions were fluid, languid as she bent at the waist. It was a war of wills. They both lost. The others rushed back to the cabin with the lousy excuse that the pair would clean up if they prepped dinner heavy on their ears. Ashton took Erin on the blanket still warm from Jade’s heat.
It was a never-ending cycle. Secrecy ate at their hearts, tearing them at the seams but they stitched each other back together. They always would. They would bristle and they would wound and they would scream and shout and kick and bleed and beg for one another. Night after night. Month after month. Her chest was seething with jealousy, brimming and boiling and rancid and dark. His skin burned under her stare, his palm sweaty where it was pressed to her sister’s. It wasn’t fair. It was never going to be fair.
“What’s going to happen?” Erin asked idly one night. Her fingertips traced the goosebumps lining his skin, eyes shut as she pressed into his side. Jade was out of town. She’d wanted to go to San Francisco to sight-see. Erin feigned illness. Ashton told her to enjoy what time she had with her parents while she was able to. He was naked on Erin’s bed, it was the first time he’d ever been in her room. It felt silly. It felt careless. It was July now. Six months of quick fucks and increased intimacy. They never said the words, but they were only fooling themselves. Ashton was as much Erin’s as he was Jade’s. They were both his in return. The blanket covered him from the waist down, his fingers tip-toeing over the curve of her hip. They knew each other’s secrets, knew the world behind each other’s eyes. Erin would say she knew him better than his girlfriend. He agreed. He hummed in response, lost in his post-orgasmic daydream. They often talked in these moments. It seemed to be the only time they were willing to be honest with one another.
“With us,” she prompted, shifting onto her side. She propped herself up on her elbow, face hovering over his–demanding his attention. As if she didn’t always have it. His eyes traced the shape of her bare breasts, a lazy smile on his lips until she shoved at his chest and jerked his chin up to meet her eyes. “I’m serious, Ashton. What’s going to happen? Jade is going to find out someday. Or, what? Are you going to cut it off with me? Are you going to break up with her?” It wasn’t the first time she’d asked, but it was the first time she sounded like she was going to cry as the words left her lips. Ashton sat up then, pulling her to his chest and tucking her head under his chin. Never had she sounded so scared. Not when he flashed his vermillion eyes. Not when Jade walked into the cabin while he was deep inside of her and they had to scramble apart and feign studying as she pushed his door open. Never. He shushed her, rocking back and forth until her breathing calmed. She didn’t cry. Erin never cried, but she was more open with him than anyone else. More than Jade, even.
“I’m going to break her heart,” Ashton said after a long time, guiding Erin’s head away from where it was hidden. His palm cradled her jaw, eyes batting between hers as he searched them. There was nothing to tell but the truth. “I’m selfish, baby girl. I’m going to keep you both until I can’t anymore. She’s going to find out. She’s going to hate us. It’ll just be me and you, then,” he promised. This was one he felt he could keep.
“Why not break up with her now?” Erin demanded, fire in her belly and heat in her words, “Why do you have to be such a fucking asshole, Ash?”
He shrugged, moving his hand into her hair and tipping her chin back to bare her throat to him. She didn’t stop him. “You know why I can’t do that, Erin,” his voice was deep, a southern sweet drawl that had yet to fade. He loved Jade. He couldn’t say it, but they both knew it. Jade was the sunny days and blushing cheeks. She was his ticket out. She was white-picket fences and babbling babies. She was driving with the windows down and the smell of roses. She was the good and the pure and the life Ashton wanted. Erin was rainy evenings and bruised thighs. She was his home. She was life on the road and echoing moans. She was secret smiles over the rims of coffee cups and the stink of sex. She was the bad and the dirty and the life Ashton deserved. He didn’t know if he loved Erin, but he needed her. “What do you think happens if I break up with her, huh? You think that she’ll be all smiles when I ask you out instead? You think she’ll love you still? She’ll hate us both either way, so I’m going to get my fill of her until she’s gone,” his voice was flat, having long ago accepted his fate, “And then it’s me and you against the world, E.”
“And what if it’s not?” She threatened and he curled his fingers tighter in her hair. A soft moan melted on her tongue. She was a sucker for anything rough. “What if it’s not me and you? What if I’ve had enough of you and stay with her?”
“You know that won’t happen. You can’t get enough of me,” Ashton purred, his other hand moving to cradle her left breast in his palm. He squeezed and brushed his thumb over the supple flesh, relishing in the feeling of her skin pebble with goosebumps beneath his fingertips. Erin let out a hissed moan as she squirmed under his touch. “Besides, she’s not going to want anything to do with you when she finds out. None of them will,” he shrugged once more, an air of finality lingering in his words, “And you’ll never be satisfied with anyone else.”
“You’re such a fucking prick,” she pushed against his chest, fighting his hold. He didn’t let go, eyes flashing red as his lips twisted into a smirk. “I hate you,” she cried, eyes dry but voice fragile.
“Sure you do, baby girl,” he sighed, pulling her closer, “You keep telling yourself that.”
He puckered his lips and she met him halfway.
It wasn’t the last time she asked. His answer never changed.
For a week, they’d gotten a taste of what it would be like to live their relationship in the sun. Erin hadn’t adjusted well when Jade came home. Ashton was a liar when he said he handled it fine.
He began making excuses to spend less time with Jade and more evenings with Erin. Jade was none the wiser. She wasn’t stupid. She was trusting. She was naive and kind and perfect. She was easy to take advantage of.
Jade gave herself to him on their six-month anniversary. It was slow and sweet and blissful. As she curled into his side, snores soft and airy, he flushed with shame. What was his excuse for seeing Erin now but his feelings? He couldn’t use the excuse that Jade was holding out on him anymore. He wasn’t ready for that conversation. When Jade awoke, it was in Ashton’s arms. Erin rarely had that luxury.
In August, Ashton and Erin spent their time in his room plotting how to eliminate the rogue pack after the death of an officer and a student. In September, Jade attempted to handle the situation on her own.
It had been unsettling to sit across from Erin, heart in his hands as Jade lay between them. It felt like a metaphor. Or maybe a glimpse of their future. They were going to be the end of her, of her bright eyes and blinding smiles. Or maybe she’d be the end of what he had with Erin. After Erin had left with her parents, Ashton had stayed. He unveiled one secret. He was a werewolf. She took it better than expected. It gave him the confidence to tell her that he’d fallen in love with her a few days later.
He wasn’t surprised when the sounds of Erin’s footsteps echoed in his ears. A pounding, spiteful sound. Ashton was hunkered over his jeep’s engine, bare chest slathered with grease and forehead dotted with sweat. His body was sharp angles and sculpted muscles. An adonis. His motions were drawn out, slow as he pulled himself out from under the hood and wiped his palms on the rag tucked into his belt loop. There was no escaping this conversation.
“You piece of shit!” It was loud. The crack of her palm against his cheek was louder. The pack was in town. She must have known that before coming here and being so blunt. Or maybe she didn’t know. Maybe she was hoping to sabotage his relationship with Jade. He didn’t know. He didn’t ask. His head was tilted down, cheek burning but he would never bruise. Lips pressed thin and gaze narrowed where he watched her from the corner of his eye. His lack of response spurred her on. “You have some fucking nerve, Ashton,” her voice was lifted with rage, but her scent was so damp and sorrowful. She couldn’t lie to him. Her fists pounded on his chest, over and over. He was stone. She couldn’t stand it. Her palms pressed flat to his chest, shoving him. Ashton stumbled back a step, hands gripping her wrists tight when she went to push him again.
He faced her then, towering over her and pulling her against him. His eyes were dark, mouth in a frown. He wasn’t happy. He hated this. He hated hurting her, but he wouldn’t stop. Their foundation was hurt. Their love was pain. He’d long ago lost the fight. It was a losing battle. “Don’t act so fucking surprised, Erin. You knew this was coming,” he growled, squeezing at her wrists before dropping them.
Erin didn’t deflate, the flame ignited in the pit of her heart. “I never thought you’d say it,” she admitted, venom dripping from her tongue, “You don’t love her, Ashton. You aren’t capable of love. You’re a cold-hearted bastard who’s using us. You’ve fucked up our lives. I hate you, Ashton. I fucking hate you.” She carefully left out how she fucked up her own life. He didn’t call her out on it.
“What if I said I loved you too, huh?” He purred, hands snatching her waist and pushing it against his own. He was hard. Her stomach was twisted with lust and anger at that. He would be the one to get off on this. “Cause you don’t hate me and I don’t hate you. Why else would I keep you, baby girl? Jade puts out just as well. What if I’m in love with you too, Erin?”
Her breath caught in her throat, eyes round and wet but she shook her head. He couldn’t. But he did.
“Is that so hard to believe?” He mused.
“Of course it is!” She hissed back, “And besides, that was a shitty fucking way to tell me.”
He shrugged, palms sliding over her hips and down to her ass, fingers curling into the fabric of her skirt. “Seems pretty fitting for us, I think,” his voice was calm and cool. Unphased by her aggression.
Erin’s eyes stung, and her heart ached. She wanted him to mean it. She wanted to scream at him for sleeping with her and for fucking Jade and for ever talking to them. Her hands pressed to his chest in desperation, the grease from his jeep tainting her fingertips. He was always marring her. Her pretty heart and soul and body, scarring it so no one else would touch it. So that everyone else would look and see his brand.
“I love you, Erin,” he whispered then, head ducked down so his lips brushed hers–spilling the confession into her awaiting mouth. His eyes weren’t shut, half-lidded as he watched her face twist. “Is that better, baby? Is that how you wanted to hear it?” It seemed so fitting. A whisper, their secret. He hadn’t been quiet when he told Jade. Maybe it was habitual now. “I love you. You own half my heart, but someday it’ll be all yours. I promise.”
Once upon a time, Erin would have been the kind of girl to leave a pretty red hand mark across his cheek, skirt shuddering with each step she took away from him. Ashton killed that Erin. Now she stood on the tips of her toes, hands curled in his short hair and teasing the strands as her lips rejoiced in the forbidden familiarity of his.
“I love you too, Ash,” she whispered back, warmed by the sincerity in his voice. He was a piece of shit, but she knew he meant what he said. She was satisfied with the piece she had of him now. In the end, it would be them. She could wait.
Winter was biting. Ashton was torn in two. Sunny smiles and shaded eyes. He was in love with them. Each Little girl had a piece of his heart in their palm, squeezing it until it popped.
Snow sprinkled from the sky. Ashton had lied to Jade. He was supposed to be spending the weekend in Washington with Murphy looking at a college. Instead, Murphy was in some shady motel with some guy or girl beneath him and Ashton was pulling Erin closer to his side where they watched the stars shimmer through a haze of white. The flannel blanket was pulled up to their chins, breaths clouding their line of vision as they curled together. It was silent for a long time. No wandering hands. No heated looks. It wasn’t like them, but then again, they were changing.
“Hey Ash,” her voice was soft. A sugary sweet melody that had his eyes seeking hers and lips swirling around a lazy grin.
“Yeah, baby girl?” It was laced with something that had once been unspoken but was now so loud. Love. Love. Love.
Erin hesitated, savoring the look in his eyes and committing this moment to memory. It wasn’t often they had moments like this–where they weren’t afraid to be caught and maimed and demonized. It wasn’t often Ashton wasn’t afraid to show her this side of him. “What are we going to do?”
He wanted to sigh but kept his mouth shut. He hated this. He hated that she asked. Every time, she asked. Ashton looked away, eyes to the sky as the snow dropped onto his lashes. “What do you mean?” He feigned ignorance. She rolled her eyes.
Pushing herself up, she leaned over him, hair tickling his cheeks as she crowded his line of sight. “You know damn well what I mean.”
“Can’t we just have one nice fucking night to ou-,” he started, but she interrupted him.
“No! Of course we can’t! I need you to fucking promise me, Ash. Promise me that you’re not just going to leave me,” she begged and his face went cold, “I’m going to lose her. I’ll lose my family. I’m doing all of this for you so fucking promise me!”
“You ain’t doing this for me, babe,” Ashton bit out, voice vacant, “Don’t blame me. I didn’t beg you. Remember who kissed first, Erin. I didn’t chase you, you fucking ran to me.”
Erin stilled, eyes wet with panic and bones shaking with rage. She knew that. She knew that. But why couldn’t he take the hit? Why couldn’t he let her blame him? Why did she have to give up everything for a boy who wouldn’t pick her first? Wouldn’t pick her until he had no one else to choose.
“Fuck you,” she hissed by default, a tear spilling from her lashes and onto his cheek.
Ashton softened then, pushing her back down onto her back and moving to straddle over her. He pushed her hair from her face, admiring her beauty in the glow of the moon. “I promise you,” he whispered, stroking her cheeks as they grew damp with more tears, “I’ve said it the whole time. Soon as she finds out, it’s just me and you. Don’t want no one else but you two. I ain’t gonna ask you to give nothing else up.” Erin whimpered, turning to escape his gaze but he gripped her chin with a gentle firmness to keep her focused on him.
“When she finds out, we’re gonna spend our nights like this,” he promised, “Gonna run away together and watch the stars every night and fuck in the rain and make out on beaches. I’ll take you to Texas. You can be my pretty little queen. I’d turn you if you wanted.” But he’d never force that on her. He hasn’t forced her to do a damn thing.
“Promise?” She hiccuped, but the tears had dried.
“Promise, sweetheart,” he leaned down, kissing her sweetly. “I love you, E. Love you to the moon and back and it won’t be long till I say it every day. You’ll wake up next to me and I’ll make you breakfast and you can wear my shirts without Murphy tearing into you. It’ll be nice,” he breathed into her mouth, lips brushing hers with each word.
Her heartbeat was music to his ears. Her scent was roses and chocolate and late nights. Her legs spread for him. He was happy to indulge.
Beacon Hills no longer felt like home. Jade’s voice no longer held the sweet notes of romance it once had. She brought guilt and hate and sorrow. Ashton struggled to be around her. His time with Erin in the snow had spoiled him. He grew reckless.
He loved Jade. He loved her. He promises.
The night of graduation was a blur. It was the end of an era. It was the end of him. Jade had been patient with him, asking softly and sparsely what his plans for college were. She thought they would get married one day. Part of him thought that too. Before Erin sealed their fate. Before her jealousy got the better of them all.
But he didn’t have an answer for her. Jade was supposed to have caught them by now. Ashton had always planned on being caught, but Jade wasn’t looking. She trusted them. For the first time, Ashton felt truly sorry.
Erin’s eyes said more than her lips ever could. Desperate and accusing.
Each of them wanted answers. Ashton knew there would be only one way this would end.
He would never tell Jade. Ashton would never admit that he was doing anything wrong. And Erin was too scared to. She had threatened it plenty, but when it came down to it, she would never be able to say the words to her baby sister’s cheery face.
This is what they wanted. A fucking answer from him. He gave it to them. Neither would like the outcome.
Jade was meant to leave for New York the next morning. Ashton had given her false hopes, saying he’d join her in a month. He never would. He never planned to. Erin laid beneath him while her sister fretted over the last of her boxes. Erin cried his name while her sister drove to his house. Erin dug her nails in his back while her sister opened his door.
It all moved in slow motion.
Erin hadn’t known. She should have, but she wouldn’t have been prepared for the crestfallen look on Jade’s face even if he’d told her. Nothing would ever have prepared them for the way her angelic voice broke around a soft, “No,” while her palm cupped over her lips to catch her panted breaths and force them back down. “Please, no,” Jade cried, tears spilling and body shaking. The traitors were frozen, bodies sheen with sweat and locked together in the most intimate of ways. He didn’t wear a condom with Erin. She liked knowing she got a piece of him Jade wouldn’t get. He liked the raw, heated feeling of her. It was primal. It was feral. It wasn’t fair.
Like a switch, there was rage.
The pair looked caught, hesitating to move or speak–like they were dealing with a t-rex from fucking Jurassic Park, but it didn’t matter. Jade shattered all the same. The eerie calm was splintered by a thrown snowglobe, the shards of glass painting a pretty mosaic on his floor after colliding with the wall next to their heads. She hadn’t aimed to hurt, but to scare. Ashton pulled away from Erin–slow and calm and like he knew this was coming because he did. Erin scurried to cover herself with the blankets, tears in her eyes and panic in her scent. “Jade, wait, please,” she fumbled for words, for an excuse. She’d wanted this so badly, but now that she had to face the music, she wasn’t prepared to read the lines she’d scripted. “I can explain,” but she couldn’t.
“Yeah? I’d fucking love to hear that, Erin,” Jade cursed and Ashton’s brows raised. It wasn’t often that the girl was vulgar around him, but he knew she could be. She has always been so polite and silly and like a fucking princess, but he supposes he lost the right to the side of her. “How fucking long?”
“The whole time,” Ashton answered, pushing off the bed and stepping into a pair of boxers. Jade winced at the sight of his naked body, taking a step back as horror crossed her features once more. She looked like she was going to get sick. There was no pretending now. “A week after our first date.”
Jade looked between the two, at a complete loss for words. She looked like she’d been daggered. Like she’d been poisoned. Like she’d sacrificed to the wolves.
Like she’d been betrayed.
“The whole,” she gaped, gasping for air as she grasped her chest–as if she could hold her heart together with the pressure of her palm, “The whole fucking time? You asshole! You,” she looked at Erin whose face was streaked with tears and neck littered with deep purple hickies, “You bitch.” Erin winced as if she’d been slapped. He thinks she would have preferred that.
“You’re my sister, Erin!” She shouted, taking a step closer and Ashton instinctively shifted to block her. Jade faltered then, the motion speaking so fucking loud. A testament to how deep these roots dug into them. “You slept with my boyfriend! That’s just–why?” It was a cry. Pathetic and lost and broken.
“Because I,” Erin hesitated, looking between the two before whispering, “I love him, Jade. I love him and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” She hiccuped on a sob. Jade looked pained but didn’t move to console her. Erin didn’t cry. But she deserved to now.
“That’s fucking bullshit, Erin,” she hissed, batting between livid and devastated. “And you,” she turned towards Ashton then and he just looked tired. That made it worse. “You just used me! My fucking sister? I mean, come on! You could have anyone! And you had to wreck my family? Why? Ashton, why the fuck?”
“Love, princess,” he said smoothly, surging forward and snagging her hands. She fought his hold, but he pulled her tight against his damp chest and she was no match for his strength. He looked down at her, face stony and handsome but his eyes were a storm of guilt and remorse and greed. Shades of green glowing. Like ivy vines tangling them all together and strangling them. “I don’t love any other girls, just you two.”
“Fuck off with that,” Jade grit out, squirming to get free, “And let me go, you shit.” She was crying. Maybe she didn’t know it, but her face was soaked and her voice was so weak and feeble.
“You know I mean it, Jade. I love you. I’ve never loved anyone before and then you came along and I would have given anything to have you,” he whispered, but Erin heard anyways.
“Then why,” she wept, sinking against him in defeat.
“Because I fell in love with her too. She’s your other half. I’m a greedy fucker and wanted the whole thing, Jadey baby,” she winced at the nickname, he pressed on, “I love you both. You’re my girls. I ain’t sorry for being in love, but I am for hurting you, princess. I never planned on doing that but your sister can be a real jealous bitch. She got her hooks in me deep.”
Jade shoved at him then, the best she could with her hands still trapped. “Don’t fucking blame her,” it was instinct to protect her sister, but once she realized what she said, she amended, “You’re both at fault. You’re both awful, shitty people.”
He shrugged, looking back at Erin who looked so damn lost and so unlike herself. “Ain’t blaming her. Just stating the truth. If she hadn’t made a move on me, we wouldn’t be here,” he traced the pretty tear tracks on Erin’s face, speaking to Jade but his words were meant for her, “But I ain’t mad that she did. I didn’t want to lose you, but damn, I love her too.”
Jade didn’t like that answer. Didn’t like that the boy she thought she’d spend her life with and her twin sister, her best friend, did this to her.
“Please just let me go,” she whispered, head hanging and tears dripping. Ashton did, dropping her hands and taking a step back.
“I’m sorry,” Erin whimpered.
“I love you,” Ashton promised.
“I never want to see either of you again,” Jade demanded, turning on her heel and rushing out of the house.
Ashton committed the sight to memory, heart breaking and he knew he’d cry later, but not now. Erin leaped from the bed, naked and quivering and Ashton had to grab her before she ran into the living room. He shushed her as she beat her fists on his chest. He carried her back to the bed as she screamed and cried and blamed him. He rocked her to sleep, tucking her under the covers and stealing away to his bedroom balcony. Easing the door shut, he welcomed the night breeze. The moon was nearly full. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he stared at the stars. He knew he let his momma down. She’d be so disappointed in him.
But more than that, he broke Jade.
Silently, he wept.
When Erin awoke the next morning, Ashton’s head was tucked deep into her neck and his limbs were woven around her. If she caught sight of the tear tracks, she didn’t mention it. It was the first of forever. She would never wake up to cold sheets again.
They fell into place after that. Jade had been a buffer between them, keeping them from their full potential. Ashton and Erin in the light of day were much different than who they’d been on stolen nights. Jade was gone by the time Erin finally made her way home to pack up her belongings. She hadn’t told their parents, Erin didn’t know if she would ever get the chance to thank her.
It was unspoken. The pair wouldn’t stay in Beacon Hills. Jensen had left with Iris to study at Stanford. Blake and Sabrina had driven off the night of graduation with Addie buckled in the back. The only one who knew of the fallout with Jade was Murphy, who was stirring his coffee and smirking at the pair when they left their room that fateful morning. He hadn’t said a word, he didn’t need to.
The others would find out eventually, the news trickling down the grapevine.
Ashton and Erin packed their meager belongings into the pack of Ashton’s jeep, a destination in mind but no deadline. Texas. He was bringing her home.
Jensen called as they were driving towards Nevada. His tone was neutral, if not bordering sorrowful. He chastised Ashton but cared more about whether he was okay. He was. Ashton was more than okay. Jensen was satisfied. He couldn’t be upset when he’d known about the affair the whole time and hadn’t said a word.
When Blake called, he was rushed words and worried notes. Sabrina in the background was livid, but they balanced one another. He didn’t talk to either for long, Erin was calling his name from where she stood on the edge of a lake. He hung up the phone and tossed it in his car. He threw Erin a grin before charging at her. Arms around her waist, he leaped into the water as she squealed.
Happy. They were happy.
It didn’t last. Of course, it wouldn’t. They were oil and water. One inconvenience and they were at each other’s throats. But that didn’t last either. They weren’t perfect, but they were them. All they needed was each other.
They’d already suffered the worst hurt. They could handle anything now.
In Vegas, they blew his money in casinos–fake IDs and spiked drinks. He fucked her on the balcony of their penthouse suite, her moans echoing off the neighboring hotel’s exterior. They left with a decent profit. It wasn’t a shock. They were excellent bluffers after all.
In Oregon, they visited Crater Lake. He held her close as he jumped from a raised ledge into the chilled water, kissing her tenderly as water dripped from their hairline to their lips. It was so freeing. It was so different. Ashton was happy. He loved her. He didn’t think of Jade.
They traipsed through the states. Hiking through valleys and swimming in the ocean. On full moons, they’d spend the evening in a motel room as she anchored him to his humanity. They traveled the country. They didn’t dare go to New York. Ashton stopped fucking Erin. He made love to her. Howling out her name and planting the most gentle of kisses on her skin as he kept his pace slow and even and lazy. They didn’t have to rush anymore.
“I never thought it would be like this,” Ashton said suddenly one evening under the stars of the Tennessee sky. They’d gone trekking through the mountains, the rush of danger something they’d always chased.
Erin had turned to look at him then, pressed to his side in the cold of the night. She wasn’t scared out here. She never was with him. “What do you mean?” She asked, eyes tracing the slope of his nose before landing on his lips, watching them as they moved around his words. He didn’t turn from the constellations as he spoke.
“I always worried about us. Like, how we would work, you know?” She did know, but she didn’t speak up. “‘Cause being together for real is different from what we had before. And you can be a real bitch,” she smacked his chest and he chuckled, “Don’t deny it. ‘Sides, I wasn’t done. You’re a bitch sometimes and I’m an asshole most of the time and I just didn’t know if we’d work the way we thought.”
“And?” Erin prompted when he didn’t elaborate. He looked at her then, fingers pushing her hair back from her face before his palm cradled her jaw.
“And it’s been better than I hoped,” he promised, smiling over at her, “I was scared I might have only loved you because of the situation, but that wasn’t true.”
She gulped, looking away because even now, she wasn’t the best at keeping her mask up around him.
“You have my whole heart now, Erin. Not just a piece. I’m all yours. Maybe I should’ve always been,” he mused, eyes back to the starry sky as her hand weaved into his.
“I’m yours too, Ashton,” it was a melody. His favorite song.
For the better half of a year, they traveled. They learned one another in a way that hadn’t been possible before. When winter was coming to a close and they were just shy of the anniversary of that day with Jade, he pulled up to the Pines Preserve. It was time. He was ready to be alpha. And when he struggled, he knew Erin would keep him on track.
“What if they don’t like me?” Erin asked, not saying what she meant. Trust. What if they didn’t trust her? She was a human. She was a hunter. Everyone on his land was a werewolf and she’d be the odd one out. She’d be the threat.
“That’s not an option, baby girl,” Ashton promised, hand on her thigh as he drove the length of the private road that led to the land, “I’m in charge. My word is law and I say you’re my damn queen and they’re fucked if they think it’s a choice to like you.” She shivered at the power in his voice. Erin quite liked it.
The Pines Pack was welcoming. A bit apprehensive, but when his Uncle Cole pulled Erin in for a hug and handed over the alpha reign to Ashton, the nerves settled. It was home. They finally had a place of their own. It was difficult for Ashton to settle into his childhood home, to move into his parents' old room, but Erin made it easier. She made this place just a house.
She was his home.
Murphy had moved to Texas a month after Ashton and Erin settled in. Uncle Benny followed soon after. He had nothing left to tie him to the California town. Deep into their second year, Blake and Sabrina pulled up to their gate. Addie was in the back seat, giddy and tanned from their travels and so much happier than the last time he’d seen her. She bolted out of the car into Ashton’s arms and Erin softened at the sight. They hadn’t talked about kids. They felt they were still kids themselves. Blake darted from the car to Sabrina’s door, pulling it open and helping her ease out of the passenger seat. As she stepped out of the vehicle, both Ashton and Erin’s eyes went wide at the sight of her round stomach.
“Surprise!” Blake cheered as Ashton hesitantly set Addie down and stepped toward them.
“Guess I see now why y’all needed a place to stay for a while,” he joked, though his voice was tight and eyes hesitant as they met Sabrina’s. They hadn’t spoken much since Jade, he didn’t know where they stood. Sabrina eyed him, one palm cradling her baby bump while the other crashed against his cheek. His head snapped to the side, eyes blurred as he looked toward the dirt and gravel. The air was tense. Addie had jumped and Blake pulled Sabrina back a step. Erin was brimming with rage, taking slow steps to Ashton’s side.
Her palm rested on his arm as he slowly straightened himself out, his fingers pushing gently at where she’d made contact and wincing. “I suppose I deserved that,” his tone was empty, eyes cold as they raised to meet Sabrina’s. She looked equal parts terrified and justified, cowering into Blake’s side as the beta fumbled for words.
“Save it,” Ashton said, raising his hand to stop him before he had the chance. He heard Murphy approaching, pace slow as he made sense of the scene. “Anything else for me, Bri?”
She pushed her lips together, eyes dancing between his. It wasn’t the reaction she thought she’d get, that was clear. She didn’t know what to do in the wake of his calm. “You’re an asshole,” she started and he nodded. He knew that. “And what you did was wrong,” she looked at Erin and he sidestepped to keep her from being targeted. Sabrina raised a brow and he just nodded again.
“I know it was. Knew it was the whole time,” he said, knowing there was no point in lying. He looked at Blake and the beta looked away. He couldn’t tell if Blake had told Sabrina or not that he’d known nearly the whole time but he wasn’t going to out that. “I’ll pay for my sins when the time is due,” he promised. He wouldn’t be seeing his momma again. The devil had his name engraved on a seat beside him, patiently waiting.
“Are you happy?” The question caught him off guard, all eyes batting from Sabrina’s determined face to Ashton. He paused, trying to read between the lines but not able to. He put his arm around Erin then, pulling her to his side and proud to finally show her off.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier,” he said sincerely. Ashton placed a kiss on the top of Erin’s head, giving her arm a squeeze before nodding towards where Murphy was waiting a few yards away. “Any more questions?” He prompted and Sabrina shook her head, “Then let’s get y’all settled in your new home. Just had it built for you guys. Welcome party’s waiting.” Sabrina flushed pink then, embarrassed she’d come off so hot when Ashton had done so much for them, but she wasn’t sorry. Jade deserved better, but a part of her was glad the girl hadn’t gone through that pain for nothing. Ashton loved Erin. He hadn’t broken them both.
Jensen returned to Richardson but didn’t build a foundation on the Pines Preserve. He wanted to keep Iris safe and wanted her to feel normal. They settled in about twenty minutes away, visiting as often as they could. The pack was back together. They didn’t mention Jade. They didn’t talk about Beacon Hills. They moved forward.
Ashton and Erin had been on the preserve for three years when he brought her to the lake on the border of their land one night. A full moon was a few nights away, the night sky bright with its light. He’d laid out a blanket for them to stargaze on, Erin tucked under his arm and tight against his side. She smiled more than he thought was possible. He found himself doing whatever he could to get those pretty pink lips to twist up at the edges.
“When I was little,” he hummed, voice heavy with twang but quiet with the weight of loss, “My momma used to bring me out here and teach me about the constellations.” He’d told Jade on their first date, but couldn’t find it in him to ever tell Erin. He’d stargazed with her more than her twin, but could never get the words past his lips. Now, he had to. It felt important that he did. Erin’s presence had always felt like his mom’s, keeping him in line and filling him with warmth. “My dad was busy a lot being alpha, so she made sure that she made time for me. I think she would have liked you a lot. Your feist and wit and how damn gorgeous you are. You remind me of her sometimes,” Ashton squeezed her arm softly. Erin blushed and hid her face against his neck. He kissed her forehead softly before turning back towards the sky. “Ursa Major was always my favorite,” he explained, tracing the shape of the constellation with his fingers, “It’s called ‘Big Bear’ here, but most people call it the ‘Big Dipper’. It’s always in the sky in Texas. I liked that. I liked hearing my mom talk about it. She would always tell the same damn story.” Erin looked to the sky, seeking out the stars he was describing.
“She’d say that I was her little bear every night,” he pointed to the Little Dipper, “And that she was the Big Bear–the mama bear. That’s why it’s my favorite. It’s like she’s right there. Still looking out for me.” His eyes were leaky, tears dripping from the corners as he sat up. Erin followed his lead, brows drawn close and eyes filled with concern. “And I wanted her to see this,” he prompted as he dug his hand into the pocket of his hoodie.
Ashton moved away from Erin, positioning himself on one knee before her. He flashed a smile at the sky before opening the little box to display a diamond ring. It was glittering in the moonlight. The bands on the side were intertwined, a plain silver band and an embezzled one, crisscrossing as they led to one large, round diamond in the center. Smaller crystals decorated down the length before stopping halfway for a solid silver finish. It wasn’t too flashy, but not minimal. Ashton had Jensen’s guidance but still felt lost. He studied her face, hoping to decipher the look of awe and shock that painted a pretty mosaic across her features.
He swallowed down his nerves and pressed on.
“Baby girl,” he started, the name once something that had her at his throat, but now a soft endearment that meant more than her own name, “You know I’m not good with this kind of thing. I’m not great with words and Jensen told me not to sing a song, but I do know that you’re it for me. I’ve known that since you kissed me that first time. I was fooling myself thinking I could ever live this life without you guiding me through it.” He smiled, wanting to look away to help calm himself but knowing he shouldn’t. “You scared the hell out of me back then. The way you made me feel and how sure you were of yourself. I wanted you every damn minute of every damn day and I’m sorry it took me so long to treat you right. But I want to take care of you for the rest of our lives. I can’t imagine being with anyone but you, E. No one else will put up with me. And I–fuck, watching Blake and Bri with Bella, I want a family with you too, Erin. I want you. I fucking need you. I love you in a way I never thought I’d love anyone. So what do you say?” There were tears in both of their eyes but she still had enough sass to quirk an eyebrow. She was going to make him say it.
“Will you marry me, Erin Little? Be my little Mrs. Pines?”
She hiccuped, for in those lonely nights when she could hear him and Jade giggling in her twin’s room, she’d always dreamed of this moment. She convinced herself long ago that it would never happen. Even with all the years, they’ve been together, she feared the lack of permanence.
But here he was. Under the moon and the stars and his mother’s heavenly gaze, begging her to be his wife. To be his forever and ever.
“Yes,” she choked out, watching him as he slid the ring onto her left hand, “But only because someone’s gotta keep you in line.”
“And I can’t see anyone else doing a better job at that than you, baby,” Ashton purred before surging forward and seizing her in a kiss. He hoped his mother turned her angel eyes away as he took her on the blanket that night, unable to stop himself from whispering his love into her ear with every thrust.
“Is it okay?” He asked as they pulled their clothes back into place, packing up the blanket to head back towards the house as the night grew late.
She cocked her head before following his gaze towards the ring.
“I wasn’t sure what to get. You don’t wear much jewelry and I couldn’t ask because you’re so damn smart and I wanted it to be a surprise. I tried to get something simple but, like, I have millions from my parents so I wanted to splurge and I can get a new one if you wa–,” he rambled and she was quick to interrupt.
“Hey! Ash, stop,” her hand was on his shoulder, eyes raised to meet his, ”I love it. It’s me. It’s perfect.” He kissed her once more, dipping her with the force of it.
They were married in Spring the following year. It was a grand event held on a clearing on their land. Under a willow tree, they sealed their fate with a kiss. Her family hadn’t made it. Jade was never mentioned and they didn’t want to chance bringing hunters onto the land, but she said she was okay. He knew she wasn’t, but didn’t push. It had been so long since she’d talked to any of them anyways. Besides, it was their day. Nothing would take away from that.
Erin was the only human on the Pines Preserve. Iris was an occasional visitor, but Erin was the only one to live there. She was the first. On full moons, they kept her locked in the basement of their home where she spent the evenings alone. As alpha, Ashton spent the nights keeping his betas in line and coaching them through the turns. He was good at it. He thinks his dad would be proud. His family was proud. Erin was proud.
That’s why she felt confident enough to step out of the bunker to grab her laptop. She’d been taking classes at the local college to fill her time. Erin wasn’t a freeloader. She didn’t want to abuse Ashton’s wealth. She was pursuing business classes so she could help with the family business despite her husband telling her that it wasn’t necessary. But he didn’t stop her. He kept paying for class after class happily because she brightened with a purpose and goal in mind. She’d left the device upstairs in her rush to get hidden. She didn’t know that a beta had gotten loose and was actively challenging the alpha in their front yard. When her eyes locked onto the golden ones of a boy she knew to be on his second full moon, she cursed herself for not keeping up with training. She wasn’t fast enough. He’d jumped through their front window, glass shattering as he pounced on her and brought her to the ground. Her first scream echoed as the glass stabbed into her bare arms and where her shirt had risen at her waist.
Her second was blood-curdling. It was bone-chilling and heart-stopping. It was soaked with agony and drenched with pain and drowning with desperation. The beta’s claws ripped across her abdomen, tearing into her flesh and spilling her blood and her guts onto their remodeled floors. It was only a second. Only a moment. One slice. As the boy raised his hand towards her throat, Ashton barrelled into him. He pinned the beta down and swung his fist towards him. One solid punch and the boy was out. Before his head hit the floor, the alpha had already moved to Erin’s side, careful to not move her despite how desperately he wanted to hold her. The commotion brought on a crowd–his uncles and Blake and Murphy rushing into the house. Other betas detained the unconscious boy, dragging him out of the home. Ashton gripped Erin’s hand in his own, feeling the warmth seep out of her even as black veins darkened his flesh. He stole her pain, crying as he begged, “Baby, hold on.”
They hadn’t talked about it. He never could bring himself to ask. She was a hunter her whole life. She had struggled to cope with the reality he was a werewolf. He didn’t want to force this on her.
“I can’t lose you, Erin. I can’t fucking lose you. You were supposed to be downstairs. I,” he hiccuped on a sob, so close to weeping that the other betas began to grow uncomfortable with the display of weakness, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let him get out. I’m sorry. Please. Baby, I can fix it. Please let me fix it.”
“Ash,” Erin whispered, pale and hoarse and so damn small, “I don’t want to die.”
And that was all the permission he needed.
Ashton brought her forward, sinking his teeth in her neck as he cried.
It wasn’t instant. It was Murphy who moved first and put his hands over her wounds–pushing her insides back where they belonged before applying pressure. Ashton bit her again, digging his canines into her wrist and praying to whoever would listen that she wouldn’t leave him too.
“Erin, please. You have to hold on. Please,” he was begging, pleading. He’d die if she did.
Her eyes fell shut, breath bated and slow before stopping all together.
The sound that left Ashton was world-shattering. A wail so loud and pitched and desperate and agonized and sorrowful. He wept, pulling her body to his and shaking her with the force of his sobs. It was seconds, not the hours it felt like when her heart let out a soft beat in his ears.
Ashton paused, halting all movement as he sought out the sound. He must have dreamed it–but no. There it was again. He pulled her away from him, looking at her still face before his eyes sought out her wound. It was stitching itself back together and he let out a deep breath.
“Baby,” he called, pressing her close once more and cupping her cheek with his palm, “Come on, Erin. Wake up for me. Please.”
A startled breath left her, followed by a cough. Blood stained her lips and he was quick to wipe it off.
When she opened her eyes, they were gold.
Erin was one hell of a wolf. She handled the first few shifts like a champ but was quick to lose control. She had a pack, though. She had a hundred people in her corner to help guide her. She had an anchor in Ashton just as he had one in her. Erin had met with the boy a few days after she was turned and he begged for forgiveness. She pulled him into a hug instead, thanking him for pushing her into making a decision she never would have been able to herself. She was one with the pack now. She was their second in command. Erin pushed at his shoulder when she left, telling him he wouldn’t get such a warm interaction if it were to happen again.
It didn’t.
In the following six months, there wasn’t another accident.
Ashton and Erin were twenty-four in the fall of that year. It had been six years since that day with Jade, five since they’d been on the preserve, and one and a half married when Erin pushed a little pink and white stick towards Ashton. He dumbly stared at the two pink lines, eyes round and wet when they met Erin’s.
“You’re?” He asked, unable to get the words out around the lump in his throat.
“Yeah,” she whispered with tears in her eyes. They hadn’t talked about it. She knew he wanted kids, but she wasn’t sure if now was the best time. She would always doubt how much he wanted her.
But that’s okay because Ashton’s favorite thing was to prove her wrong.
“Hell yeah!” He shouted, jumping up with joy before wrapping his arms around her waist and swinging her in a circle. He set her down in a panic, quick to press his palms to her stomach and meet her eyes with a worried gaze, “Fuck, was that okay? Did I hurt them?”
Erin cried. It took her a minute to shake her head and promise she was okay and that she was happy. They were going to have a family. They were in love and safe and she was a werewolf and so far from home, but they were happy.
“I never thought we’d get here,” she whispered, forehead pressed to his as he rubbed her flat stomach, excited for when she grew large and round with their baby.
“I knew we always would,” he grinned, Ashton always got the last word, “You’ve always been my home, Erin.”
Their daughter was born in the warmth of spring. She had her daddy’s emerald eyes and her mom’s nose. They named her Ivy. Another shade of green. Another little girl who owned a piece of their hearts. They didn’t bring up Jade, but they both knew the name was for her. She wrapped her tiny hand around Ashton’s finger, cooing as he bounced her in his arms. Erin rested in the bed, watching them with a faint smile.
“I dreamed about this, you know,” she offered as Ivy drifted off, voice quiet and thoughtful.
“That’s mighty cheesy of you, E,” he teased back, a whisper and a wink, “I’m happy I could make your dreams come true.”
“And my nightmares,” she laughed and they both stilled when Ivy stirred, her voice quieter as the baby settled, “But yeah, you did. This life? It’s more than I thought I’d get.”
“Me too, baby,” his eyes dropped to Ivy, looking for a trace of the girl he’d lost and not finding one, “I wouldn’t change a damn thing.”
Maybe it wasn’t fate. Maybe it was something dark and twisted and bad. Maybe Ashton didn’t give a fuck.
He loved Erin. Erin loved him.
The hurt and the misery and the betrayal built their love. It was a rocky foundation, but they were careful with how they placed their walls, and windows, and doors. Precarious and careful and soft. They built a house together and stored love and warmth and family in its interior. It was decorated with kisses and promises of forever.
He’d always come home to her.
It wasn’t fate that brought them together, it was the devil’s cradle rocking until they collided. Once he had hold of her, he couldn’t let go. Fingers trapped in the chinks of her armor, lips locked to the base of her neck. Erin was his moon, guiding him through shaded waters. To his death or to his victory, he couldn’t say. Ashton was bemused to discover he did not care, so long as it was her leading him along.
He should have pushed her off of him that night. He should have held her by the shoulders and told her no. He should have cursed her name and swore off ever being alone with her. Should have. Should’ve. Should’ve. Should’ve.
He didn’t.
He met her lips with unabashed eagerness. He pawed at her hips and pushed her skirt past her knees. He moaned her name and savored her taste. He had missed it. That tease in October had captivated him. He’d been yearning for the way her tongue carved along his teeth and burned the skin of his mouth. It was more hostile than Jade’s peppering of kisses. It was carnal and passionate and starving. It was a painting, brushed with hunger and tinted with desperation. It was a work of art, the color of adoration marred by the shadows of secrecy. Ashton took a piece of Erin and replaced it with one of his own, he embedded himself so deep within her that she’d ache when he was gone. A constant. A reminder. A tally mark in a journal and a black mark on her soul. Sweat pooled in the hollows of their collars, breaths panted and eyes squeezed shut as if to hide from the reality of their tragedy. It was play pretend, for show. They’d gotten what they wanted. There was no remorse. The promises they’d made were built on straw foundations. It would not be the last time. It was the beginning of the end.
A week later, her legs were spread in the backseat of his jeep and he was buried between them. She’d begged for a ride home to avoid the sky’s wrath, it was a flimsy excuse to be alone with him. Should’ve said no. Should’ve. Should’ve. He held the door open for her instead. The rain pounded outside of his vehicle, fogging the windows where they were pulled off on some dirt backroad. He held her like a lover, her nails broke the skin of his back. The wounds healed in moments, the desperate hickies she’d painted on his chest fading as they basked in the afterglow. The bruises his own lips had burned on her inner thighs blossoming into the pink of her skin. Their breaths mingled in the air, whispering words they could never say. Another promise made.
Another promise broken. Jade had begged for a day at the lake behind his family’s cabin, so they went. The pack crowded around the swimming hole. Water splashed and laughs echoed off the pines. His eyes were a brand on her skin–hot and searing. Her motions were fluid, languid as she bent at the waist. It was a war of wills. They both lost. The others rushed back to the cabin with the lousy excuse that the pair would clean up if they prepped dinner heavy on their ears. Ashton took Erin on the blanket still warm from Jade’s heat.
It was a never-ending cycle. Secrecy ate at their hearts, tearing them at the seams but they stitched each other back together. They always would. They would bristle and they would wound and they would scream and shout and kick and bleed and beg for one another. Night after night. Month after month. Her chest was seething with jealousy, brimming and boiling and rancid and dark. His skin burned under her stare, his palm sweaty where it was pressed to her sister’s. It wasn’t fair. It was never going to be fair.
“What’s going to happen?” Erin asked idly one night. Her fingertips traced the goosebumps lining his skin, eyes shut as she pressed into his side. Jade was out of town. She’d wanted to go to San Francisco to sight-see. Erin feigned illness. Ashton told her to enjoy what time she had with her parents while she was able to. He was naked on Erin’s bed, it was the first time he’d ever been in her room. It felt silly. It felt careless. It was July now. Six months of quick fucks and increased intimacy. They never said the words, but they were only fooling themselves. Ashton was as much Erin’s as he was Jade’s. They were both his in return. The blanket covered him from the waist down, his fingers tip-toeing over the curve of her hip. They knew each other’s secrets, knew the world behind each other’s eyes. Erin would say she knew him better than his girlfriend. He agreed. He hummed in response, lost in his post-orgasmic daydream. They often talked in these moments. It seemed to be the only time they were willing to be honest with one another.
“With us,” she prompted, shifting onto her side. She propped herself up on her elbow, face hovering over his–demanding his attention. As if she didn’t always have it. His eyes traced the shape of her bare breasts, a lazy smile on his lips until she shoved at his chest and jerked his chin up to meet her eyes. “I’m serious, Ashton. What’s going to happen? Jade is going to find out someday. Or, what? Are you going to cut it off with me? Are you going to break up with her?” It wasn’t the first time she’d asked, but it was the first time she sounded like she was going to cry as the words left her lips. Ashton sat up then, pulling her to his chest and tucking her head under his chin. Never had she sounded so scared. Not when he flashed his vermillion eyes. Not when Jade walked into the cabin while he was deep inside of her and they had to scramble apart and feign studying as she pushed his door open. Never. He shushed her, rocking back and forth until her breathing calmed. She didn’t cry. Erin never cried, but she was more open with him than anyone else. More than Jade, even.
“I’m going to break her heart,” Ashton said after a long time, guiding Erin’s head away from where it was hidden. His palm cradled her jaw, eyes batting between hers as he searched them. There was nothing to tell but the truth. “I’m selfish, baby girl. I’m going to keep you both until I can’t anymore. She’s going to find out. She’s going to hate us. It’ll just be me and you, then,” he promised. This was one he felt he could keep.
“Why not break up with her now?” Erin demanded, fire in her belly and heat in her words, “Why do you have to be such a fucking asshole, Ash?”
He shrugged, moving his hand into her hair and tipping her chin back to bare her throat to him. She didn’t stop him. “You know why I can’t do that, Erin,” his voice was deep, a southern sweet drawl that had yet to fade. He loved Jade. He couldn’t say it, but they both knew it. Jade was the sunny days and blushing cheeks. She was his ticket out. She was white-picket fences and babbling babies. She was driving with the windows down and the smell of roses. She was the good and the pure and the life Ashton wanted. Erin was rainy evenings and bruised thighs. She was his home. She was life on the road and echoing moans. She was secret smiles over the rims of coffee cups and the stink of sex. She was the bad and the dirty and the life Ashton deserved. He didn’t know if he loved Erin, but he needed her. “What do you think happens if I break up with her, huh? You think that she’ll be all smiles when I ask you out instead? You think she’ll love you still? She’ll hate us both either way, so I’m going to get my fill of her until she’s gone,” his voice was flat, having long ago accepted his fate, “And then it’s me and you against the world, E.”
“And what if it’s not?” She threatened and he curled his fingers tighter in her hair. A soft moan melted on her tongue. She was a sucker for anything rough. “What if it’s not me and you? What if I’ve had enough of you and stay with her?”
“You know that won’t happen. You can’t get enough of me,” Ashton purred, his other hand moving to cradle her left breast in his palm. He squeezed and brushed his thumb over the supple flesh, relishing in the feeling of her skin pebble with goosebumps beneath his fingertips. Erin let out a hissed moan as she squirmed under his touch. “Besides, she’s not going to want anything to do with you when she finds out. None of them will,” he shrugged once more, an air of finality lingering in his words, “And you’ll never be satisfied with anyone else.”
“You’re such a fucking prick,” she pushed against his chest, fighting his hold. He didn’t let go, eyes flashing red as his lips twisted into a smirk. “I hate you,” she cried, eyes dry but voice fragile.
“Sure you do, baby girl,” he sighed, pulling her closer, “You keep telling yourself that.”
He puckered his lips and she met him halfway.
It wasn’t the last time she asked. His answer never changed.
For a week, they’d gotten a taste of what it would be like to live their relationship in the sun. Erin hadn’t adjusted well when Jade came home. Ashton was a liar when he said he handled it fine.
He began making excuses to spend less time with Jade and more evenings with Erin. Jade was none the wiser. She wasn’t stupid. She was trusting. She was naive and kind and perfect. She was easy to take advantage of.
Jade gave herself to him on their six-month anniversary. It was slow and sweet and blissful. As she curled into his side, snores soft and airy, he flushed with shame. What was his excuse for seeing Erin now but his feelings? He couldn’t use the excuse that Jade was holding out on him anymore. He wasn’t ready for that conversation. When Jade awoke, it was in Ashton’s arms. Erin rarely had that luxury.
In August, Ashton and Erin spent their time in his room plotting how to eliminate the rogue pack after the death of an officer and a student. In September, Jade attempted to handle the situation on her own.
It had been unsettling to sit across from Erin, heart in his hands as Jade lay between them. It felt like a metaphor. Or maybe a glimpse of their future. They were going to be the end of her, of her bright eyes and blinding smiles. Or maybe she’d be the end of what he had with Erin. After Erin had left with her parents, Ashton had stayed. He unveiled one secret. He was a werewolf. She took it better than expected. It gave him the confidence to tell her that he’d fallen in love with her a few days later.
He wasn’t surprised when the sounds of Erin’s footsteps echoed in his ears. A pounding, spiteful sound. Ashton was hunkered over his jeep’s engine, bare chest slathered with grease and forehead dotted with sweat. His body was sharp angles and sculpted muscles. An adonis. His motions were drawn out, slow as he pulled himself out from under the hood and wiped his palms on the rag tucked into his belt loop. There was no escaping this conversation.
“You piece of shit!” It was loud. The crack of her palm against his cheek was louder. The pack was in town. She must have known that before coming here and being so blunt. Or maybe she didn’t know. Maybe she was hoping to sabotage his relationship with Jade. He didn’t know. He didn’t ask. His head was tilted down, cheek burning but he would never bruise. Lips pressed thin and gaze narrowed where he watched her from the corner of his eye. His lack of response spurred her on. “You have some fucking nerve, Ashton,” her voice was lifted with rage, but her scent was so damp and sorrowful. She couldn’t lie to him. Her fists pounded on his chest, over and over. He was stone. She couldn’t stand it. Her palms pressed flat to his chest, shoving him. Ashton stumbled back a step, hands gripping her wrists tight when she went to push him again.
He faced her then, towering over her and pulling her against him. His eyes were dark, mouth in a frown. He wasn’t happy. He hated this. He hated hurting her, but he wouldn’t stop. Their foundation was hurt. Their love was pain. He’d long ago lost the fight. It was a losing battle. “Don’t act so fucking surprised, Erin. You knew this was coming,” he growled, squeezing at her wrists before dropping them.
Erin didn’t deflate, the flame ignited in the pit of her heart. “I never thought you’d say it,” she admitted, venom dripping from her tongue, “You don’t love her, Ashton. You aren’t capable of love. You’re a cold-hearted bastard who’s using us. You’ve fucked up our lives. I hate you, Ashton. I fucking hate you.” She carefully left out how she fucked up her own life. He didn’t call her out on it.
“What if I said I loved you too, huh?” He purred, hands snatching her waist and pushing it against his own. He was hard. Her stomach was twisted with lust and anger at that. He would be the one to get off on this. “Cause you don’t hate me and I don’t hate you. Why else would I keep you, baby girl? Jade puts out just as well. What if I’m in love with you too, Erin?”
Her breath caught in her throat, eyes round and wet but she shook her head. He couldn’t. But he did.
“Is that so hard to believe?” He mused.
“Of course it is!” She hissed back, “And besides, that was a shitty fucking way to tell me.”
He shrugged, palms sliding over her hips and down to her ass, fingers curling into the fabric of her skirt. “Seems pretty fitting for us, I think,” his voice was calm and cool. Unphased by her aggression.
Erin’s eyes stung, and her heart ached. She wanted him to mean it. She wanted to scream at him for sleeping with her and for fucking Jade and for ever talking to them. Her hands pressed to his chest in desperation, the grease from his jeep tainting her fingertips. He was always marring her. Her pretty heart and soul and body, scarring it so no one else would touch it. So that everyone else would look and see his brand.
“I love you, Erin,” he whispered then, head ducked down so his lips brushed hers–spilling the confession into her awaiting mouth. His eyes weren’t shut, half-lidded as he watched her face twist. “Is that better, baby? Is that how you wanted to hear it?” It seemed so fitting. A whisper, their secret. He hadn’t been quiet when he told Jade. Maybe it was habitual now. “I love you. You own half my heart, but someday it’ll be all yours. I promise.”
Once upon a time, Erin would have been the kind of girl to leave a pretty red hand mark across his cheek, skirt shuddering with each step she took away from him. Ashton killed that Erin. Now she stood on the tips of her toes, hands curled in his short hair and teasing the strands as her lips rejoiced in the forbidden familiarity of his.
“I love you too, Ash,” she whispered back, warmed by the sincerity in his voice. He was a piece of shit, but she knew he meant what he said. She was satisfied with the piece she had of him now. In the end, it would be them. She could wait.
Winter was biting. Ashton was torn in two. Sunny smiles and shaded eyes. He was in love with them. Each Little girl had a piece of his heart in their palm, squeezing it until it popped.
Snow sprinkled from the sky. Ashton had lied to Jade. He was supposed to be spending the weekend in Washington with Murphy looking at a college. Instead, Murphy was in some shady motel with some guy or girl beneath him and Ashton was pulling Erin closer to his side where they watched the stars shimmer through a haze of white. The flannel blanket was pulled up to their chins, breaths clouding their line of vision as they curled together. It was silent for a long time. No wandering hands. No heated looks. It wasn’t like them, but then again, they were changing.
“Hey Ash,” her voice was soft. A sugary sweet melody that had his eyes seeking hers and lips swirling around a lazy grin.
“Yeah, baby girl?” It was laced with something that had once been unspoken but was now so loud. Love. Love. Love.
Erin hesitated, savoring the look in his eyes and committing this moment to memory. It wasn’t often they had moments like this–where they weren’t afraid to be caught and maimed and demonized. It wasn’t often Ashton wasn’t afraid to show her this side of him. “What are we going to do?”
He wanted to sigh but kept his mouth shut. He hated this. He hated that she asked. Every time, she asked. Ashton looked away, eyes to the sky as the snow dropped onto his lashes. “What do you mean?” He feigned ignorance. She rolled her eyes.
Pushing herself up, she leaned over him, hair tickling his cheeks as she crowded his line of sight. “You know damn well what I mean.”
“Can’t we just have one nice fucking night to ou-,” he started, but she interrupted him.
“No! Of course we can’t! I need you to fucking promise me, Ash. Promise me that you’re not just going to leave me,” she begged and his face went cold, “I’m going to lose her. I’ll lose my family. I’m doing all of this for you so fucking promise me!”
“You ain’t doing this for me, babe,” Ashton bit out, voice vacant, “Don’t blame me. I didn’t beg you. Remember who kissed first, Erin. I didn’t chase you, you fucking ran to me.”
Erin stilled, eyes wet with panic and bones shaking with rage. She knew that. She knew that. But why couldn’t he take the hit? Why couldn’t he let her blame him? Why did she have to give up everything for a boy who wouldn’t pick her first? Wouldn’t pick her until he had no one else to choose.
“Fuck you,” she hissed by default, a tear spilling from her lashes and onto his cheek.
Ashton softened then, pushing her back down onto her back and moving to straddle over her. He pushed her hair from her face, admiring her beauty in the glow of the moon. “I promise you,” he whispered, stroking her cheeks as they grew damp with more tears, “I’ve said it the whole time. Soon as she finds out, it’s just me and you. Don’t want no one else but you two. I ain’t gonna ask you to give nothing else up.” Erin whimpered, turning to escape his gaze but he gripped her chin with a gentle firmness to keep her focused on him.
“When she finds out, we’re gonna spend our nights like this,” he promised, “Gonna run away together and watch the stars every night and fuck in the rain and make out on beaches. I’ll take you to Texas. You can be my pretty little queen. I’d turn you if you wanted.” But he’d never force that on her. He hasn’t forced her to do a damn thing.
“Promise?” She hiccuped, but the tears had dried.
“Promise, sweetheart,” he leaned down, kissing her sweetly. “I love you, E. Love you to the moon and back and it won’t be long till I say it every day. You’ll wake up next to me and I’ll make you breakfast and you can wear my shirts without Murphy tearing into you. It’ll be nice,” he breathed into her mouth, lips brushing hers with each word.
Her heartbeat was music to his ears. Her scent was roses and chocolate and late nights. Her legs spread for him. He was happy to indulge.
Beacon Hills no longer felt like home. Jade’s voice no longer held the sweet notes of romance it once had. She brought guilt and hate and sorrow. Ashton struggled to be around her. His time with Erin in the snow had spoiled him. He grew reckless.
He loved Jade. He loved her. He promises.
The night of graduation was a blur. It was the end of an era. It was the end of him. Jade had been patient with him, asking softly and sparsely what his plans for college were. She thought they would get married one day. Part of him thought that too. Before Erin sealed their fate. Before her jealousy got the better of them all.
But he didn’t have an answer for her. Jade was supposed to have caught them by now. Ashton had always planned on being caught, but Jade wasn’t looking. She trusted them. For the first time, Ashton felt truly sorry.
Erin’s eyes said more than her lips ever could. Desperate and accusing.
Each of them wanted answers. Ashton knew there would be only one way this would end.
He would never tell Jade. Ashton would never admit that he was doing anything wrong. And Erin was too scared to. She had threatened it plenty, but when it came down to it, she would never be able to say the words to her baby sister’s cheery face.
This is what they wanted. A fucking answer from him. He gave it to them. Neither would like the outcome.
Jade was meant to leave for New York the next morning. Ashton had given her false hopes, saying he’d join her in a month. He never would. He never planned to. Erin laid beneath him while her sister fretted over the last of her boxes. Erin cried his name while her sister drove to his house. Erin dug her nails in his back while her sister opened his door.
It all moved in slow motion.
Erin hadn’t known. She should have, but she wouldn’t have been prepared for the crestfallen look on Jade’s face even if he’d told her. Nothing would ever have prepared them for the way her angelic voice broke around a soft, “No,” while her palm cupped over her lips to catch her panted breaths and force them back down. “Please, no,” Jade cried, tears spilling and body shaking. The traitors were frozen, bodies sheen with sweat and locked together in the most intimate of ways. He didn’t wear a condom with Erin. She liked knowing she got a piece of him Jade wouldn’t get. He liked the raw, heated feeling of her. It was primal. It was feral. It wasn’t fair.
Like a switch, there was rage.
The pair looked caught, hesitating to move or speak–like they were dealing with a t-rex from fucking Jurassic Park, but it didn’t matter. Jade shattered all the same. The eerie calm was splintered by a thrown snowglobe, the shards of glass painting a pretty mosaic on his floor after colliding with the wall next to their heads. She hadn’t aimed to hurt, but to scare. Ashton pulled away from Erin–slow and calm and like he knew this was coming because he did. Erin scurried to cover herself with the blankets, tears in her eyes and panic in her scent. “Jade, wait, please,” she fumbled for words, for an excuse. She’d wanted this so badly, but now that she had to face the music, she wasn’t prepared to read the lines she’d scripted. “I can explain,” but she couldn’t.
“Yeah? I’d fucking love to hear that, Erin,” Jade cursed and Ashton’s brows raised. It wasn’t often that the girl was vulgar around him, but he knew she could be. She has always been so polite and silly and like a fucking princess, but he supposes he lost the right to the side of her. “How fucking long?”
“The whole time,” Ashton answered, pushing off the bed and stepping into a pair of boxers. Jade winced at the sight of his naked body, taking a step back as horror crossed her features once more. She looked like she was going to get sick. There was no pretending now. “A week after our first date.”
Jade looked between the two, at a complete loss for words. She looked like she’d been daggered. Like she’d been poisoned. Like she’d sacrificed to the wolves.
Like she’d been betrayed.
“The whole,” she gaped, gasping for air as she grasped her chest–as if she could hold her heart together with the pressure of her palm, “The whole fucking time? You asshole! You,” she looked at Erin whose face was streaked with tears and neck littered with deep purple hickies, “You bitch.” Erin winced as if she’d been slapped. He thinks she would have preferred that.
“You’re my sister, Erin!” She shouted, taking a step closer and Ashton instinctively shifted to block her. Jade faltered then, the motion speaking so fucking loud. A testament to how deep these roots dug into them. “You slept with my boyfriend! That’s just–why?” It was a cry. Pathetic and lost and broken.
“Because I,” Erin hesitated, looking between the two before whispering, “I love him, Jade. I love him and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” She hiccuped on a sob. Jade looked pained but didn’t move to console her. Erin didn’t cry. But she deserved to now.
“That’s fucking bullshit, Erin,” she hissed, batting between livid and devastated. “And you,” she turned towards Ashton then and he just looked tired. That made it worse. “You just used me! My fucking sister? I mean, come on! You could have anyone! And you had to wreck my family? Why? Ashton, why the fuck?”
“Love, princess,” he said smoothly, surging forward and snagging her hands. She fought his hold, but he pulled her tight against his damp chest and she was no match for his strength. He looked down at her, face stony and handsome but his eyes were a storm of guilt and remorse and greed. Shades of green glowing. Like ivy vines tangling them all together and strangling them. “I don’t love any other girls, just you two.”
“Fuck off with that,” Jade grit out, squirming to get free, “And let me go, you shit.” She was crying. Maybe she didn’t know it, but her face was soaked and her voice was so weak and feeble.
“You know I mean it, Jade. I love you. I’ve never loved anyone before and then you came along and I would have given anything to have you,” he whispered, but Erin heard anyways.
“Then why,” she wept, sinking against him in defeat.
“Because I fell in love with her too. She’s your other half. I’m a greedy fucker and wanted the whole thing, Jadey baby,” she winced at the nickname, he pressed on, “I love you both. You’re my girls. I ain’t sorry for being in love, but I am for hurting you, princess. I never planned on doing that but your sister can be a real jealous bitch. She got her hooks in me deep.”
Jade shoved at him then, the best she could with her hands still trapped. “Don’t fucking blame her,” it was instinct to protect her sister, but once she realized what she said, she amended, “You’re both at fault. You’re both awful, shitty people.”
He shrugged, looking back at Erin who looked so damn lost and so unlike herself. “Ain’t blaming her. Just stating the truth. If she hadn’t made a move on me, we wouldn’t be here,” he traced the pretty tear tracks on Erin’s face, speaking to Jade but his words were meant for her, “But I ain’t mad that she did. I didn’t want to lose you, but damn, I love her too.”
Jade didn’t like that answer. Didn’t like that the boy she thought she’d spend her life with and her twin sister, her best friend, did this to her.
“Please just let me go,” she whispered, head hanging and tears dripping. Ashton did, dropping her hands and taking a step back.
“I’m sorry,” Erin whimpered.
“I love you,” Ashton promised.
“I never want to see either of you again,” Jade demanded, turning on her heel and rushing out of the house.
Ashton committed the sight to memory, heart breaking and he knew he’d cry later, but not now. Erin leaped from the bed, naked and quivering and Ashton had to grab her before she ran into the living room. He shushed her as she beat her fists on his chest. He carried her back to the bed as she screamed and cried and blamed him. He rocked her to sleep, tucking her under the covers and stealing away to his bedroom balcony. Easing the door shut, he welcomed the night breeze. The moon was nearly full. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he stared at the stars. He knew he let his momma down. She’d be so disappointed in him.
But more than that, he broke Jade.
Silently, he wept.
When Erin awoke the next morning, Ashton’s head was tucked deep into her neck and his limbs were woven around her. If she caught sight of the tear tracks, she didn’t mention it. It was the first of forever. She would never wake up to cold sheets again.
They fell into place after that. Jade had been a buffer between them, keeping them from their full potential. Ashton and Erin in the light of day were much different than who they’d been on stolen nights. Jade was gone by the time Erin finally made her way home to pack up her belongings. She hadn’t told their parents, Erin didn’t know if she would ever get the chance to thank her.
It was unspoken. The pair wouldn’t stay in Beacon Hills. Jensen had left with Iris to study at Stanford. Blake and Sabrina had driven off the night of graduation with Addie buckled in the back. The only one who knew of the fallout with Jade was Murphy, who was stirring his coffee and smirking at the pair when they left their room that fateful morning. He hadn’t said a word, he didn’t need to.
The others would find out eventually, the news trickling down the grapevine.
Ashton and Erin packed their meager belongings into the pack of Ashton’s jeep, a destination in mind but no deadline. Texas. He was bringing her home.
Jensen called as they were driving towards Nevada. His tone was neutral, if not bordering sorrowful. He chastised Ashton but cared more about whether he was okay. He was. Ashton was more than okay. Jensen was satisfied. He couldn’t be upset when he’d known about the affair the whole time and hadn’t said a word.
When Blake called, he was rushed words and worried notes. Sabrina in the background was livid, but they balanced one another. He didn’t talk to either for long, Erin was calling his name from where she stood on the edge of a lake. He hung up the phone and tossed it in his car. He threw Erin a grin before charging at her. Arms around her waist, he leaped into the water as she squealed.
Happy. They were happy.
It didn’t last. Of course, it wouldn’t. They were oil and water. One inconvenience and they were at each other’s throats. But that didn’t last either. They weren’t perfect, but they were them. All they needed was each other.
They’d already suffered the worst hurt. They could handle anything now.
In Vegas, they blew his money in casinos–fake IDs and spiked drinks. He fucked her on the balcony of their penthouse suite, her moans echoing off the neighboring hotel’s exterior. They left with a decent profit. It wasn’t a shock. They were excellent bluffers after all.
In Oregon, they visited Crater Lake. He held her close as he jumped from a raised ledge into the chilled water, kissing her tenderly as water dripped from their hairline to their lips. It was so freeing. It was so different. Ashton was happy. He loved her. He didn’t think of Jade.
They traipsed through the states. Hiking through valleys and swimming in the ocean. On full moons, they’d spend the evening in a motel room as she anchored him to his humanity. They traveled the country. They didn’t dare go to New York. Ashton stopped fucking Erin. He made love to her. Howling out her name and planting the most gentle of kisses on her skin as he kept his pace slow and even and lazy. They didn’t have to rush anymore.
“I never thought it would be like this,” Ashton said suddenly one evening under the stars of the Tennessee sky. They’d gone trekking through the mountains, the rush of danger something they’d always chased.
Erin had turned to look at him then, pressed to his side in the cold of the night. She wasn’t scared out here. She never was with him. “What do you mean?” She asked, eyes tracing the slope of his nose before landing on his lips, watching them as they moved around his words. He didn’t turn from the constellations as he spoke.
“I always worried about us. Like, how we would work, you know?” She did know, but she didn’t speak up. “‘Cause being together for real is different from what we had before. And you can be a real bitch,” she smacked his chest and he chuckled, “Don’t deny it. ‘Sides, I wasn’t done. You’re a bitch sometimes and I’m an asshole most of the time and I just didn’t know if we’d work the way we thought.”
“And?” Erin prompted when he didn’t elaborate. He looked at her then, fingers pushing her hair back from her face before his palm cradled her jaw.
“And it’s been better than I hoped,” he promised, smiling over at her, “I was scared I might have only loved you because of the situation, but that wasn’t true.”
She gulped, looking away because even now, she wasn’t the best at keeping her mask up around him.
“You have my whole heart now, Erin. Not just a piece. I’m all yours. Maybe I should’ve always been,” he mused, eyes back to the starry sky as her hand weaved into his.
“I’m yours too, Ashton,” it was a melody. His favorite song.
For the better half of a year, they traveled. They learned one another in a way that hadn’t been possible before. When winter was coming to a close and they were just shy of the anniversary of that day with Jade, he pulled up to the Pines Preserve. It was time. He was ready to be alpha. And when he struggled, he knew Erin would keep him on track.
“What if they don’t like me?” Erin asked, not saying what she meant. Trust. What if they didn’t trust her? She was a human. She was a hunter. Everyone on his land was a werewolf and she’d be the odd one out. She’d be the threat.
“That’s not an option, baby girl,” Ashton promised, hand on her thigh as he drove the length of the private road that led to the land, “I’m in charge. My word is law and I say you’re my damn queen and they’re fucked if they think it’s a choice to like you.” She shivered at the power in his voice. Erin quite liked it.
The Pines Pack was welcoming. A bit apprehensive, but when his Uncle Cole pulled Erin in for a hug and handed over the alpha reign to Ashton, the nerves settled. It was home. They finally had a place of their own. It was difficult for Ashton to settle into his childhood home, to move into his parents' old room, but Erin made it easier. She made this place just a house.
She was his home.
Murphy had moved to Texas a month after Ashton and Erin settled in. Uncle Benny followed soon after. He had nothing left to tie him to the California town. Deep into their second year, Blake and Sabrina pulled up to their gate. Addie was in the back seat, giddy and tanned from their travels and so much happier than the last time he’d seen her. She bolted out of the car into Ashton’s arms and Erin softened at the sight. They hadn’t talked about kids. They felt they were still kids themselves. Blake darted from the car to Sabrina’s door, pulling it open and helping her ease out of the passenger seat. As she stepped out of the vehicle, both Ashton and Erin’s eyes went wide at the sight of her round stomach.
“Surprise!” Blake cheered as Ashton hesitantly set Addie down and stepped toward them.
“Guess I see now why y’all needed a place to stay for a while,” he joked, though his voice was tight and eyes hesitant as they met Sabrina’s. They hadn’t spoken much since Jade, he didn’t know where they stood. Sabrina eyed him, one palm cradling her baby bump while the other crashed against his cheek. His head snapped to the side, eyes blurred as he looked toward the dirt and gravel. The air was tense. Addie had jumped and Blake pulled Sabrina back a step. Erin was brimming with rage, taking slow steps to Ashton’s side.
Her palm rested on his arm as he slowly straightened himself out, his fingers pushing gently at where she’d made contact and wincing. “I suppose I deserved that,” his tone was empty, eyes cold as they raised to meet Sabrina’s. She looked equal parts terrified and justified, cowering into Blake’s side as the beta fumbled for words.
“Save it,” Ashton said, raising his hand to stop him before he had the chance. He heard Murphy approaching, pace slow as he made sense of the scene. “Anything else for me, Bri?”
She pushed her lips together, eyes dancing between his. It wasn’t the reaction she thought she’d get, that was clear. She didn’t know what to do in the wake of his calm. “You’re an asshole,” she started and he nodded. He knew that. “And what you did was wrong,” she looked at Erin and he sidestepped to keep her from being targeted. Sabrina raised a brow and he just nodded again.
“I know it was. Knew it was the whole time,” he said, knowing there was no point in lying. He looked at Blake and the beta looked away. He couldn’t tell if Blake had told Sabrina or not that he’d known nearly the whole time but he wasn’t going to out that. “I’ll pay for my sins when the time is due,” he promised. He wouldn’t be seeing his momma again. The devil had his name engraved on a seat beside him, patiently waiting.
“Are you happy?” The question caught him off guard, all eyes batting from Sabrina’s determined face to Ashton. He paused, trying to read between the lines but not able to. He put his arm around Erin then, pulling her to his side and proud to finally show her off.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier,” he said sincerely. Ashton placed a kiss on the top of Erin’s head, giving her arm a squeeze before nodding towards where Murphy was waiting a few yards away. “Any more questions?” He prompted and Sabrina shook her head, “Then let’s get y’all settled in your new home. Just had it built for you guys. Welcome party’s waiting.” Sabrina flushed pink then, embarrassed she’d come off so hot when Ashton had done so much for them, but she wasn’t sorry. Jade deserved better, but a part of her was glad the girl hadn’t gone through that pain for nothing. Ashton loved Erin. He hadn’t broken them both.
Jensen returned to Richardson but didn’t build a foundation on the Pines Preserve. He wanted to keep Iris safe and wanted her to feel normal. They settled in about twenty minutes away, visiting as often as they could. The pack was back together. They didn’t mention Jade. They didn’t talk about Beacon Hills. They moved forward.
Ashton and Erin had been on the preserve for three years when he brought her to the lake on the border of their land one night. A full moon was a few nights away, the night sky bright with its light. He’d laid out a blanket for them to stargaze on, Erin tucked under his arm and tight against his side. She smiled more than he thought was possible. He found himself doing whatever he could to get those pretty pink lips to twist up at the edges.
“When I was little,” he hummed, voice heavy with twang but quiet with the weight of loss, “My momma used to bring me out here and teach me about the constellations.” He’d told Jade on their first date, but couldn’t find it in him to ever tell Erin. He’d stargazed with her more than her twin, but could never get the words past his lips. Now, he had to. It felt important that he did. Erin’s presence had always felt like his mom’s, keeping him in line and filling him with warmth. “My dad was busy a lot being alpha, so she made sure that she made time for me. I think she would have liked you a lot. Your feist and wit and how damn gorgeous you are. You remind me of her sometimes,” Ashton squeezed her arm softly. Erin blushed and hid her face against his neck. He kissed her forehead softly before turning back towards the sky. “Ursa Major was always my favorite,” he explained, tracing the shape of the constellation with his fingers, “It’s called ‘Big Bear’ here, but most people call it the ‘Big Dipper’. It’s always in the sky in Texas. I liked that. I liked hearing my mom talk about it. She would always tell the same damn story.” Erin looked to the sky, seeking out the stars he was describing.
“She’d say that I was her little bear every night,” he pointed to the Little Dipper, “And that she was the Big Bear–the mama bear. That’s why it’s my favorite. It’s like she’s right there. Still looking out for me.” His eyes were leaky, tears dripping from the corners as he sat up. Erin followed his lead, brows drawn close and eyes filled with concern. “And I wanted her to see this,” he prompted as he dug his hand into the pocket of his hoodie.
Ashton moved away from Erin, positioning himself on one knee before her. He flashed a smile at the sky before opening the little box to display a diamond ring. It was glittering in the moonlight. The bands on the side were intertwined, a plain silver band and an embezzled one, crisscrossing as they led to one large, round diamond in the center. Smaller crystals decorated down the length before stopping halfway for a solid silver finish. It wasn’t too flashy, but not minimal. Ashton had Jensen’s guidance but still felt lost. He studied her face, hoping to decipher the look of awe and shock that painted a pretty mosaic across her features.
He swallowed down his nerves and pressed on.
“Baby girl,” he started, the name once something that had her at his throat, but now a soft endearment that meant more than her own name, “You know I’m not good with this kind of thing. I’m not great with words and Jensen told me not to sing a song, but I do know that you’re it for me. I’ve known that since you kissed me that first time. I was fooling myself thinking I could ever live this life without you guiding me through it.” He smiled, wanting to look away to help calm himself but knowing he shouldn’t. “You scared the hell out of me back then. The way you made me feel and how sure you were of yourself. I wanted you every damn minute of every damn day and I’m sorry it took me so long to treat you right. But I want to take care of you for the rest of our lives. I can’t imagine being with anyone but you, E. No one else will put up with me. And I–fuck, watching Blake and Bri with Bella, I want a family with you too, Erin. I want you. I fucking need you. I love you in a way I never thought I’d love anyone. So what do you say?” There were tears in both of their eyes but she still had enough sass to quirk an eyebrow. She was going to make him say it.
“Will you marry me, Erin Little? Be my little Mrs. Pines?”
She hiccuped, for in those lonely nights when she could hear him and Jade giggling in her twin’s room, she’d always dreamed of this moment. She convinced herself long ago that it would never happen. Even with all the years, they’ve been together, she feared the lack of permanence.
But here he was. Under the moon and the stars and his mother’s heavenly gaze, begging her to be his wife. To be his forever and ever.
“Yes,” she choked out, watching him as he slid the ring onto her left hand, “But only because someone’s gotta keep you in line.”
“And I can’t see anyone else doing a better job at that than you, baby,” Ashton purred before surging forward and seizing her in a kiss. He hoped his mother turned her angel eyes away as he took her on the blanket that night, unable to stop himself from whispering his love into her ear with every thrust.
“Is it okay?” He asked as they pulled their clothes back into place, packing up the blanket to head back towards the house as the night grew late.
She cocked her head before following his gaze towards the ring.
“I wasn’t sure what to get. You don’t wear much jewelry and I couldn’t ask because you’re so damn smart and I wanted it to be a surprise. I tried to get something simple but, like, I have millions from my parents so I wanted to splurge and I can get a new one if you wa–,” he rambled and she was quick to interrupt.
“Hey! Ash, stop,” her hand was on his shoulder, eyes raised to meet his, ”I love it. It’s me. It’s perfect.” He kissed her once more, dipping her with the force of it.
They were married in Spring the following year. It was a grand event held on a clearing on their land. Under a willow tree, they sealed their fate with a kiss. Her family hadn’t made it. Jade was never mentioned and they didn’t want to chance bringing hunters onto the land, but she said she was okay. He knew she wasn’t, but didn’t push. It had been so long since she’d talked to any of them anyways. Besides, it was their day. Nothing would take away from that.
Erin was the only human on the Pines Preserve. Iris was an occasional visitor, but Erin was the only one to live there. She was the first. On full moons, they kept her locked in the basement of their home where she spent the evenings alone. As alpha, Ashton spent the nights keeping his betas in line and coaching them through the turns. He was good at it. He thinks his dad would be proud. His family was proud. Erin was proud.
That’s why she felt confident enough to step out of the bunker to grab her laptop. She’d been taking classes at the local college to fill her time. Erin wasn’t a freeloader. She didn’t want to abuse Ashton’s wealth. She was pursuing business classes so she could help with the family business despite her husband telling her that it wasn’t necessary. But he didn’t stop her. He kept paying for class after class happily because she brightened with a purpose and goal in mind. She’d left the device upstairs in her rush to get hidden. She didn’t know that a beta had gotten loose and was actively challenging the alpha in their front yard. When her eyes locked onto the golden ones of a boy she knew to be on his second full moon, she cursed herself for not keeping up with training. She wasn’t fast enough. He’d jumped through their front window, glass shattering as he pounced on her and brought her to the ground. Her first scream echoed as the glass stabbed into her bare arms and where her shirt had risen at her waist.
Her second was blood-curdling. It was bone-chilling and heart-stopping. It was soaked with agony and drenched with pain and drowning with desperation. The beta’s claws ripped across her abdomen, tearing into her flesh and spilling her blood and her guts onto their remodeled floors. It was only a second. Only a moment. One slice. As the boy raised his hand towards her throat, Ashton barrelled into him. He pinned the beta down and swung his fist towards him. One solid punch and the boy was out. Before his head hit the floor, the alpha had already moved to Erin’s side, careful to not move her despite how desperately he wanted to hold her. The commotion brought on a crowd–his uncles and Blake and Murphy rushing into the house. Other betas detained the unconscious boy, dragging him out of the home. Ashton gripped Erin’s hand in his own, feeling the warmth seep out of her even as black veins darkened his flesh. He stole her pain, crying as he begged, “Baby, hold on.”
They hadn’t talked about it. He never could bring himself to ask. She was a hunter her whole life. She had struggled to cope with the reality he was a werewolf. He didn’t want to force this on her.
“I can’t lose you, Erin. I can’t fucking lose you. You were supposed to be downstairs. I,” he hiccuped on a sob, so close to weeping that the other betas began to grow uncomfortable with the display of weakness, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let him get out. I’m sorry. Please. Baby, I can fix it. Please let me fix it.”
“Ash,” Erin whispered, pale and hoarse and so damn small, “I don’t want to die.”
And that was all the permission he needed.
Ashton brought her forward, sinking his teeth in her neck as he cried.
It wasn’t instant. It was Murphy who moved first and put his hands over her wounds–pushing her insides back where they belonged before applying pressure. Ashton bit her again, digging his canines into her wrist and praying to whoever would listen that she wouldn’t leave him too.
“Erin, please. You have to hold on. Please,” he was begging, pleading. He’d die if she did.
Her eyes fell shut, breath bated and slow before stopping all together.
The sound that left Ashton was world-shattering. A wail so loud and pitched and desperate and agonized and sorrowful. He wept, pulling her body to his and shaking her with the force of his sobs. It was seconds, not the hours it felt like when her heart let out a soft beat in his ears.
Ashton paused, halting all movement as he sought out the sound. He must have dreamed it–but no. There it was again. He pulled her away from him, looking at her still face before his eyes sought out her wound. It was stitching itself back together and he let out a deep breath.
“Baby,” he called, pressing her close once more and cupping her cheek with his palm, “Come on, Erin. Wake up for me. Please.”
A startled breath left her, followed by a cough. Blood stained her lips and he was quick to wipe it off.
When she opened her eyes, they were gold.
Erin was one hell of a wolf. She handled the first few shifts like a champ but was quick to lose control. She had a pack, though. She had a hundred people in her corner to help guide her. She had an anchor in Ashton just as he had one in her. Erin had met with the boy a few days after she was turned and he begged for forgiveness. She pulled him into a hug instead, thanking him for pushing her into making a decision she never would have been able to herself. She was one with the pack now. She was their second in command. Erin pushed at his shoulder when she left, telling him he wouldn’t get such a warm interaction if it were to happen again.
It didn’t.
In the following six months, there wasn’t another accident.
Ashton and Erin were twenty-four in the fall of that year. It had been six years since that day with Jade, five since they’d been on the preserve, and one and a half married when Erin pushed a little pink and white stick towards Ashton. He dumbly stared at the two pink lines, eyes round and wet when they met Erin’s.
“You’re?” He asked, unable to get the words out around the lump in his throat.
“Yeah,” she whispered with tears in her eyes. They hadn’t talked about it. She knew he wanted kids, but she wasn’t sure if now was the best time. She would always doubt how much he wanted her.
But that’s okay because Ashton’s favorite thing was to prove her wrong.
“Hell yeah!” He shouted, jumping up with joy before wrapping his arms around her waist and swinging her in a circle. He set her down in a panic, quick to press his palms to her stomach and meet her eyes with a worried gaze, “Fuck, was that okay? Did I hurt them?”
Erin cried. It took her a minute to shake her head and promise she was okay and that she was happy. They were going to have a family. They were in love and safe and she was a werewolf and so far from home, but they were happy.
“I never thought we’d get here,” she whispered, forehead pressed to his as he rubbed her flat stomach, excited for when she grew large and round with their baby.
“I knew we always would,” he grinned, Ashton always got the last word, “You’ve always been my home, Erin.”
Their daughter was born in the warmth of spring. She had her daddy’s emerald eyes and her mom’s nose. They named her Ivy. Another shade of green. Another little girl who owned a piece of their hearts. They didn’t bring up Jade, but they both knew the name was for her. She wrapped her tiny hand around Ashton’s finger, cooing as he bounced her in his arms. Erin rested in the bed, watching them with a faint smile.
“I dreamed about this, you know,” she offered as Ivy drifted off, voice quiet and thoughtful.
“That’s mighty cheesy of you, E,” he teased back, a whisper and a wink, “I’m happy I could make your dreams come true.”
“And my nightmares,” she laughed and they both stilled when Ivy stirred, her voice quieter as the baby settled, “But yeah, you did. This life? It’s more than I thought I’d get.”
“Me too, baby,” his eyes dropped to Ivy, looking for a trace of the girl he’d lost and not finding one, “I wouldn’t change a damn thing.”
Maybe it wasn’t fate. Maybe it was something dark and twisted and bad. Maybe Ashton didn’t give a fuck.
He loved Erin. Erin loved him.
The hurt and the misery and the betrayal built their love. It was a rocky foundation, but they were careful with how they placed their walls, and windows, and doors. Precarious and careful and soft. They built a house together and stored love and warmth and family in its interior. It was decorated with kisses and promises of forever.
He’d always come home to her.