Supernatural
Written by Megan.
76 posts.
19 years old.
ladies man.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Griffin on May 2, 2022 23:05:44 GMT
Seven months was an incredibly short and extensively long amount of time. There were moments that breezed past, laughter spoiling the silence as Sabrina threw her head back at some cheesy joke Blake had told, eyes wet with happy tears and stomach cramping as they clutched at their guts. There were moments that dragged for what felt like hours, their eyes unable to meet after a girl had waltzed up to their lunch table and whispered things they both knew Sabrina shouldn’t have had to overheard–conversations stilted long after the girl left and the scent of discomfort and anger heavy in the air. They didn’t talk about it. They never put a name to the tension that settled between them. Blake was naive enough to sum it up to figuring out how to be around each other again now that they have both changed so much, if not a tad hopeful that it was because of something more. It wasn’t something more. He knew that. Damn heart. He wishes time would have made the feelings for her go away. Blake never was a man of luck. From February to September, they had worked at finding a balance. It was so easy to fall back into place with Sabrina, but at times the differences in who they’d been versus who they were now was so jarring that they were knocked off track. The nice thing was that they had both been so determined to not lose sight of one another again that it didn’t take long to find their footing and push on. There were times he'd have to bite his tongue when she upset him, his broken heart all too eager to spoil the hard work they had put in to remind her just how badly she'd hurt him. There were moments where Blake had to catch himself from closing the distance between their lips after her eyes had lingered on them for a bit too long, too many nights he had to fight to leave her side after she’d fallen asleep on him because he knew he’d end up wrapped around her if he let himself drift off. Blake knew he had to keep a barrier between them no matter how badly he didn’t want to. He, in the end, didn’t have a choice. It was the problem he’d had before: if he told her, he’d lose her and he wouldn’t do that again.
If within those months Blake nearly stopped sleeping around completely, well, it went unsaid.
True to his word (and mostly to prove a point), Blake was more involved with her home life. Her two eldest brothers had yet to make an appearance any time he’d been around and Luke was a spared sight. The two ‘shitheads’ were little hellions and he often had the threat of Murphy to keep them in line. Once, a few months after Sabrina had rejoined the pack, he’d brought the beta along with him to her house. She’d asked him to keep an eye on Addie because Luke wasn’t going to be back for at least a month and she had to work a late shift at Sal’s. The neighbor was away on vacation and she couldn’t skip out on her shift. It was to test the waters, he supposed. He’d made a big scene about how they would have been there and now it was time to prove it. Blake didn’t know how to be around children. He had no siblings (that he was aware of, his dad could have a whole family he actually loved and knew about somewhere out there) and was never in a situation where he was around kids. But he was determined. And he brought back-up. Murphy was no nonsense. They’d met the boys and Addie when they were young, but Sabrina’s parents had still been around then so she didn’t bring them with her to the cabin. It was the few times they hung out at a park or went to her house that they saw them. So while they knew each other, it wasn’t well. Addie had taken to him fairly quickly. She remembered how he’d swing her around and make her laugh. When he’d picked her up from school, she ran up to him and demanded a piggyback ride, he was quick to cave. Murphy ribbed him for it the whole way to Sabrina’s house. The boys were already there and were nearly feral when they walked in–barking demands and being cruel to their sister. Before Blake could even frown, Murphy was shouting at them to shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down. They’d whimpered and obeyed, never having been put in their place so quickly and effectively before. Murphy was bared teeth and gold eyes, looming over them as he bossed them around. By the time Sabrina walked in, body sagging and eyes tired, their homework was done, they’d eaten an honest meal and they had been forced into the shower. Blake had busied himself with Addie, laying on her floor beside her as they worked on her math problems. If Blake struggled, she was none the wiser and he would never admit a damn thing. He’d danced with her around her room and played dress-up before feeding her and then ushering her into the shower and panicking when she took too long. She’d stepped out in her jammies and requested that Blake read to her the way Sabrina did, with the voices. He smiled at the thought of Sabrina speaking in different tones for the little girl and obliged. Sabrina found them with Addie tucked against his side, knocked out and Blake snoring while still wearing the unicorn headband and a glittery-pink feathered boa she’d wrapped around his neck.
Many evenings over the following months were spent the same way, with Sabrina getting comfortable enough to have Addie at the cabin in the recent few weeks. She’d been hesitant because of all of the guys and with Benny being wasted so often, but after the twins had gotten in a heated fight and nearly hurt the little girl, she chose the lesser of the two evils. Today, however, was not one of the days Blake brought her back to the Pines’ cabin and spent the afternoon teaching her how to swim or baking an awful attempt at baking after her homework was done.
Last night, Ashton’s girlfriend had thought it wise to march into the woods and handle the rogue pack herself. It hadn’t ended well. Had Sabrina not been there, they all feared what the outcome would have been. Instead of another body chilling in a morgue, though, Jade was laid up in a hospital bed with Ashton skipping school to keep her company. It was Friday, tomorrow was meant to be the day they celebrated his birthday (he’d just turned nineteen on Tuesday) but he wasn’t sure if that was still going to happen given this recent turn of events. He tried not to dwell on it. It was the first birthday with Sabrina back and his birthday had been nice enough, but the party would be different–he needed the party to happen. Blake was ready to take that step, wanted to throw caution to the wind and fuck the voice in the back of his head telling him he was making a mistake. He wanted to confess to Sabrina at his party. She had dropped Jensen off the night before, but hadn’t come in. As badly as he wanted her to stop by and give him the dirty details that the texts had spared, he knew it was fucking late and she had a busy day. She had to take a double shift in order to get Saturday off for the party. He couldn’t express his thanks enough. So when Jensen let him know that she had asked for one of them to pick Addie up after school, he figured that was a great place to start. Blake decided to follow his alpha’s lead and skipped school, spending the day napping and prepping for the party the next day in any way that he could. Murphy had stayed too, not for lost sleep, but for the hell of it. Jensen had been the only responsible one.
As the afternoon rolled around, Blake made his way to Addie’s school. The girl was tuckered out, having played too hard on the playground–dragging her feet towards him. He hiked her up on his back, carrying her to her home so she could get a proper nap without Murphy shouting at Uncle Benny for one reason or another. Sabrina hadn’t given him a key, but had showed him where she hid a spare. He set Addie down to let them in. The twins were staying late at school to hang out with some of their friends on the field to play lacrosse, which he was grateful for. He helped the girl settle in, telling her to change into her jammies as he made her a snack. Never in his life had he even considered being anything remotely fatherly after the lack of parental roles in his own life, but here he was cutting the crust off of pb&j before slicing it into triangles. Addie was important to Sabrina and Sabrina was important to him. The little girl had grown on him and most of the pack, if he was being honest. Jensen had always had a soft spot for her, tying back her hair in different hairstyles he’d learned and teaching her how to do harder math equations. Murphy would turn his nose up to Addie, but still somehow be found with his nails awfully painted and eyelids some vibrant shade of pink. Ashton was somehow the softest, strumming his guitar as she crowded against his side, singing her to sleep and brushing her hair back from her face as she snoozed. Like the little sister he’d always wanted. Like he was trying to make up for the sins he’d made with Sabrina.
Addie was knocked out when Blake stepped back into the room. Her pajama top was on backwards and she was half off her bed. He set the plate on her nightstand, tucking her properly under the blankets and double checking that she was safe before he stepped out of the room. It wasn’t often that she wasn’t a handful. It wasn’t often that Blake had the opportunity to snoop.
Sabrina wasn’t one to give up secrets so easily, and they had made a point to keep talk about those two years apart minimal. Blake still didn’t know who she was and what she went through and he needed to. She had moved out of the room she had once shared with her sister and into Luke’s. Blake did a precautionary look towards the door, though he knew Sabrina wouldn’t be home for hours, before making his way to her room.
It didn’t take much digging to find a journal. He thumbed through it quickly, noting a lot of scribbles and missing pages. He was about to set it down when he saw his name. He was hooked. Fuck all privacy and friendship codes, he had to read the thoughts she wouldn’t share with him.
The first few pages were fairly tame. A little detached and carefully written. Page five piqued his interest. He knew that she’d had help from Rose–swapping wolfsbane for chocolate or the math homework, but didn’t know how they’d met. He frowned at the note about the pack. He kept reading.
The following pages were mostly detailing her shifts in her little cave of isolation, a few more personal about her other monthly cycle that he chose to skip over. He found it humorous how it affected her, but didn’t care to think about that red demon. Entry Twenty-Three was hard to accept. He needed to know what that torn page read, but he had no way of recovering it. He wonders if it was about the pack, about him. The few pages where she mentioned joining the fucking Gold Pack of all packs had him frowning and pouting–Jasper was a piece of shit and he knew his reputation. It would have been unforgivable. He didn’t think he would have recovered from that. But she hadn’t joined, part of her still loyal to them. The pages going into explicit detail of each hook-up she’d had was perhaps more painful, though it was quite efficient in its ranking and very informative should he ever honestly get the balls to make a move on her. As much as he wanted to stop, he couldn’t tear his eyes away–making mental notes of what to and not to do. It felt like hours as he took his time turning pages. He learned more about her fall out with her family and about where she wanted to go once she was able to run from Beacon Hills. A few pages were essentially written as a script, prepping what she would say when she came back–because she had always wanted to, he gathered, but couldn't put her pride aside. It was on his second read through that he realized he had skipped a few pages. They were stuck to the back of another page, probably sap from the woods she’d kept the journal in–as he’d put together over his readings.
Entry Forty. It was the second birthday of his that she had missed. His heart rate pulsed quickly, eyes blurring as he traced each new word. Did this mean? Could this mean? She missed him differently than the others. Him talking to the girls had gotten a reaction. Feral. He shivered at the idea of Sabrina jealous over whatever lousy lay he was pursuing. He flipped the page, lips turning down at what she wrote first, but he kept reading. He knew what she wrote on entry forty had to be real, she wouldn't have written otherwise. She was trying to fool herself all over again. He couldn't make out what she meant at the end. Was her family not the real reason she left? Had she been lying to them all along?
His heartbeat was loud in his ears. Did Sabrina like him back? What was her real reason? The pounding was so loud that he hadn't heard the lock turn over. He hadn't heard her call out his name. Hadn't heard her come to a stop in the doorway. His name was said twice more, anger in her tone, but he didn't hear it. It wasn't until the journal was ripped from his hands that his head snapped up and he realized he'd been caught.
"Brina," he said dumbly, blinking at her in confusion before it clicked, "I, uh–it's not what it looks like." He tried to defend himself before realizing it was pointless. He pushed himself up to a stand, towering over her as the journal trembled in her hands, her eyes cast down to entry forty-one.
"Did you mean it?" He asked, giving up on making excuses. Blake didn't know which entry he was referring to, but he knew he wasn't going to get an answer.
He broke her trust. This could easily be the end of it all.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
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Post by Sabrina Mets on May 4, 2022 21:35:08 GMT
What a day. When’d she left in the early hours of the morning, Sabrina had hoped to be back within the hour. In and out and back in her bed before anyone had any reason to suspect she wasn’t there. She hadn’t expected to find Ashton’s girlfriend trying to play the hero and taking on a whole pack by herself. A pack who had recently killed two other women. Even Sabrina had hesitated when she’d tied her shoes before she’d slipped out. Sure, she could defend herself against one or two others but a whole group who seemed content to drag their claws through the town? No, even she had her limits. That was why she’d grabbed the gun and loaded it with bullets so potent in wolfsbane that her blood ran cold when she held them.
Sabrina wasn’t sure if she’d killed them. Even if they’d murdered one of the girls she used to walk by in the high school hallways, Sabrina still felt a bit odd at the thought of potentially murdering her own kind. She was sure they were okay. She’d only hit a couple of them, there were enough pack members to nurse them back to health. Right...?
After dropping Jensen off, Sabrina’s head wouldn’t settle. She couldn’t get her hands to stop shaking and found her fingers edge with claws more than once on her drive home. She hadn’t slept. Her head had hit the pillow and gone into overdrive thinking everything through. Ashton loved his girlfriend. She’d finally had the hero moment she’d fantasised about. She’d stopped lying to Jensen. And Blake... well, that was what her mind kept snagging on. Unable to stop fixating on the thought of his freckled cheeks and smile that was aimed her way, Sabrina had opened her phone scrolling to the top of her camera roll. She’d never deleted the photos of her and the pack. Her boys. Her friends. Her safe place. In every single photo of Blake, Sabrina stared and stared, trying to notice the way he looked at the camera when she was the one behind it or in videos of the five of them all together. She couldn’t see it. Was blind to noticing any difference in his behaviour. Before long she’d heard her brothers moving around, Addie quietly shuffling towards Sabrina’s room as she always did now that they slept down the hall from one another. “Hey, Ads,” Sabrina mumbled, eyes heavy with exhaustion as she noted that her sister was already fully dressed, backpack secured. Fuck. Was it school time already? A glance at her alarm clock proved that sure enough, it was. Launching to her feet, Sabrina didn’t bother changing or even stopping to see if she looked presentable enough to drive into the school parking lot.
She really shouldn’t drive. She should really have asked her brothers to drop Addie off before they drove out of town to their own school. They were twenty but had been held back twice, expelled once and were now forced to finish their studies in a specialised school for troubled (read bratty) kids. Sabrina didn’t know why they bothered going, they could have left like Oscar, Isaac and Luke. She felt they stayed just to torment her. She wouldn’t ask them. Wouldn’t trust them to even know which school Addie went to. So, she drove. If she crashed into a tree on the way back, so what, she would heal.
It was 8am by the time she got back home. She had three and a half hours until she needed to leave for work. Finally, her body won. She didn’t even make it to her bedroom, body collapsing onto the sofa full of springs with chunks of its fabric missing from hormonal outbursts. Her sleep wasn’t peaceful. It was full of her own personal nightmares. There was one horror show that kept coming back – the one where she was out of control and turned on herself. In the dream she was in a dark room, moonlight streaming in through a large window in the ceiling. There was no way to cover her body from its rays, from the way it made her body move on its own freewill. There was something with her in the room, a round mirror to reflect back the monster that she was. Sometimes someone else was in there. Addie. Jensen. Blake. Tonight, she was alone, there’d be no one to watch her self-destruction but her own reflection. As the moon hit its peak, Sabrina’s clawed hand would turn towards her chest and in one sharp motion, it would rip its way through her chest until it emerged again, heart dripping and all Sabrina could do was register the horrifying site for one moment before she passed out. Before she died in her own dream. Often, she’d wake panting from the nightmare and would rest her hand over her own heart to check that it was still there. That she was still alive. This morning, after her fourth screening of the nightmare, Sabrina woke up. She was completely disorientated. She never fell asleep out here and hadn’t even expected to fall asleep in the way she had. “Well, that was a shitty sleep,” she’d said to herself, wiping a hand across her brow. At least she’d woken up earlier than she needed to.
She had time to shower, time to grab some food and make herself look somewhat presentable for Sal’s. Slamming two shots of espresso before she stepped outside, Sabrina just hoped for a busy day at the diner. No such luck. The lunch time shift had about five customers in total. The evening shift only picking up slightly to a grand total of 6 groups but with another waitress working, Sabrina hardly had anything to do.
Try as she might, her thoughts kept turning to Blake. She couldn’t deny the truth in Jensen’s words because she’d noticed the lack of partying herself. She’d noticed how she could no longer smell another girl’s scent on his clothes. But, like two years prior, she’d convinced herself it wasn’t to do with her and she could be very convincing when she needed to be. When she thought she could get hurt. Because she could, girls still approached Blake at any opportunity they could get and all Sabrina could do was busy herself with her phone or try to pinch a bit of Murphy’s food to distract herself. To pretend that everything was cool. She wasn’t sure how convincing her performance was. Her only consolation was that Jensen had seemed surprise when she’d finally spilled her feelings for Blake to him in the car. Maybe the others were just as clueless and would put down any tension, any awkwardness to just general growing pains of her adapting to life in the pack again. She refused to linger on their sweet moments, on him always offering her a sweater after she’d taken a dip in the pool so she wouldn’t get cold. Of him mindlessly pulling his arm a little tighter around her shoulders when they were watching a movie with the others. How could she let herself hold onto those moments when she always woke up alone? When she always handed him the sweater back before she left? He wasn’t hers to hold in that way. He wasn’t hers at all, no matter what Jensen thought.
As she brought Table 8 their food, Sabrina made a vow to herself that if he got with a girl, or even flirted with another girl at his party, she’d lock her feelings down for good. Except this time she couldn’t run away from the pack. She’d have to just leave the room when Blake came he. She’d have to start offering slices of pie from the diner to Murphy instead. If he didn’t want her, she would make herself not want him. Even if the very thought felt like her nightmare, of her hand in her heart after she’d been the one to pull it out. Complete self-destruction.
Time inched by, the sun setting and casting the world beyond the diner’s windows into a murky purple. On the edge of town, there were always more stars and Sabrina was staring quietly up at them as her tips were cashed out. “Sabrina,” looking towards the counter, Sabrina’s brow pulled close together at the big white box resting on its metallic top. “Don’t forget the cake, I made grape frosting just like you asked.” It was Ben, her favourite cook, who pointed to the box, a bright yellow post-it-note on it with her name written in big block lettering. She’d nearly forgotten. So wrapped up in all that she’d learnt to remind herself that Blake was her friend first and foremost, and that he had a birthday which needed to be properly celebrated. She’d requested the cake weeks ago, had known it would be a pain to get such a particular frosting flavour when the diner normally dealt with vanilla or chocolate.
“Thank you, Ben. You’re the best.” She’d said, forcing a smile to her face as she collected the box and her envelope of tips. “I’ll see you Monday,” she’d said, walking backwards towards the door and pushing it open with her back. Man, this cake was heavy. Sliding it into the boot of her car, Sabrina couldn’t wait to get home. It was finally time to put her feelings into words. To write how she felt for Blake in her journal. And then probably burn the whole thing but hey ho, baby steps.
Her drive home was thankfully accident free, the three iced coffees she’d spread out over her shifts easing the exhaustion that wanted to pull her under. The house was suspiciously dark when she arrived. Unlocking the door, and leafing through the sounds of the fridge, crickets outside and the nearby road, Sabrina could pick out two heartbeats. One smooth and calm. The other... “Blake,” Sabrina called out, keeping her voice low as she was certain Addie was asleep from the silence of her room. Quietly walking through the house, Sabrina fell to a complete stop in the doorway to her room. What was he doing? Was that her journal? Panic, so incredibly overwhelming took over, “Blake,” she snapped launching into action. “Blake,” she said once more as she reached over and grabbed her journal, breathing vicious. There wasn’t enough air in the room. Wasn’t enough space in her brain to think rationally. What did he know? How much had he read? A glance at the page he’d been stuck on brought her heart to a stop. No, no, no. Anything but that. He said her name but she hardly registered it, vision going hazy. She was going to pass out. Her whole body was shaking from anger, from fear, from pure horror that he knew.
Did she mean it?
“You weren’t meant to read this,” she said numbly, voice far softer than it had been moments ago. She had mere seconds to react to this. Dropping the journal to the ground, Sabrina looked up him. This conversation could ruin all the work they’d put into mending their relationship over the past seven months. It could ruin her. And him. She’d learnt her lesson. She couldn’t act out and not expect someone else to be caught up in the effects of her impulses.
“But it’s true, every word of it.” No more lying. She’d come clean with Jensen. No point in stopping now. “But it doesn’t change anything. You had enough of a look through my things. You know I’m going to leave as soon as I can. I’ll still be around if Ashton calls, as I promised in February. But I’m getting out of this town and away from my family as soon as I can. The way I feel about you doesn’t matter. Keeping Addie safe does.” Okay, maybe coming completely clean was a difficult habit to break and using Addie as a scapegoat was an easy option.
She was lying again. How she felt did matter. The way she couldn’t stop looking at Blake when he was in the room mattered. The way meeting his eye would more often than not make her smile based on that act alone was important. She could hardly admit the depth of her feelings to him when she could imagine that he was upset now was because he’d caught her hiding the truth from him again. So she acted in the opposite direction, explaining how she felt but shrouding any positive think she had to say with negative words. “I hate that when I wake up in the morning, you’re not there. I fall asleep next to you. I wake up and I’m alone. I hate that the first few times it happened, I thought it was because you’d snuck off to some other girl. I hate that I fucking care if that is what you do.” Clenching her hands and unclenching them again and again, Sabrina couldn’t stop. “I can’t stand the fact that I’d hoped to one day be one of the girls you pulled close at a party. You make me jealous.” Jealous. Feral. The word was staring up at her from the floor. It did the trick, snapping Sabrina out of her spiral of half-truths. She shouldn’t have said any of that.
Panic was setting in again. Was this another nightmare? Perhaps it was a hallucination from too much coffee even if her body quickly worked the caffeine out of her system. The ticking of her alarm clock was enough of a reality check. This was real. In her dreams, time was frozen. Unlike Jensen, Sabrina knew she couldn’t demand that he forget anything she just said so she tried out another tactic. “You should leave,” she said wishing she could take back every little thing she’d just admitted. Even though what she wanted to do was reach out and get him to fucking comfort her she pushed him, planting her hands on his chest and pushing back. “Those are my secrets, from when I left because of how I felt about you.” Pushing him was stupid, she was the one closer to the door and as strong as she was, she was barely moving him an inch. “Get out, please.” There was a note of desperation in her voice. A plea for him to drop it. She knew he wouldn’t. There was no way on this earth or any moon in the galaxy that he’d leave now.
She wouldn’t allow herself to believe that was Jensen said was true. She didn’t deserve someone like Blake. Her Blake. Her toy soldier who was there for her when she needed a hand, or someone to laugh with, or someone to complain about her life to. Her hands were still on his chest but the fight was leaving her, they softened and instead lightly gripped his top. “I’ll keep pushing you away and running away because I don’t trust that someone who I,” love was the word she was looking for, “care about won’t leave as soon as they can.” Her parents had. Oscar and Isaac had. Luke now for all intents and purposes had. Whilst Sabrina would argue she hated them or barely tolerated them now, they’d once been her shoulders to depend on.
Sabrina’s shoulders slumped even further, head ducking down towards the floor as she spoke “you didn’t chase after me when I left and instead all I heard about you after that was whatever girl you were fucking. You proved my fears right.” Uh oh, her hand was heading towards her own heart. Ready to take a striking blow to herself. “I hate that I care about you because god, my life would be so much easier if I didn’t.” Self-destruct.
She needed him to read between the lines. She was so scared of taking a plunge into the world beyond simple friendship with him.
But there’s had never been a simple friendship.
He was not her friend. He was hers.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
76 posts.
19 years old.
ladies man.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Griffin on May 5, 2022 16:16:10 GMT
His ears were ringing. It was a sharp, piercing sound as her voice raised an octave in panic. His eyes dropped to his empty hands, dumbly staring at them as if the journal would suddenly reappear and he could drag his fingers over her encrypted confession. Because that’s what it was, right? What else could those words mean? She missed him. She missed him differently. She was jealous of the girls he bedded. She was feral over him. That had to mean she liked him, right? That had to mean she liked him back. Blake startled with the loud slam of the journal hitting her wood floor, eyes snapping up to meet hers. She was talking and he gaped at her like a little guppy floundering out of water. He was too stunned to speak, to interrupt her.
No, he wasn’t meant to read this. He shouldn’t have invaded her privacy and went through her journal so recklessly, and yet? He wasn’t regretful. He felt awful, but he wouldn’t be able to honestly apologize. He’d learned so much about those two years she was away–about her family and her shifts and the fucking list of guys she went far too into detail with. It was all the words she couldn’t say, the ones she wouldn’t. He couldn’t say he was sorry because he wouldn’t be able to mean it. So he didn’t, letting her work through her words now. Blake could read between the lines, but he refused to believe what he thought he was hearing. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
It was true. It was true! But what she said next wasn’t. It couldn’t be. This changed everything. His face shifted from shock to one of disappointment. His lips dipped at the corners and eyebrows furrowed. How could she do that? How could she offer him his whole fucking life’s desire on a platter and then stab a dagger through it? Melodramatic, yes. He’s owed a little bit of that. Let him be a baby. Her feelings for him didn’t matter? He didn’t matter? She was just going to leave him behind again? Anger swelled in the pit of his stomach, the stench of it rancid and heavy and dark. She comes crashing back in and then, what? Just gets to storm back out? Leave him in the dust? Leave him fucking shattered into itty bitty pieces that would never fit back together? No. That’s not fair. She promised she wouldn’t do that to him again. Were these seven months a lie? Was she just using them (him) for comfort until she was able to run away again? Fuck that. Fuck so far off with that bullshit. He rose to his full height, no longer cowering in the wake of her chastising him for breaking her trust. She was not going to do this. She was not going to leave him behind.
More than anything, Sabrina was his friend. It would hurt like hell being around her without being with her, but at least she would be there. At least he could reach out and cup her shoulder as they laughed. At least she would crowd into his personal bubble to whisper a hushed joke that Murphy heard anyways. At least he would be able to grab her by the hips and toss her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry as he hightailed away from the other beta’s claws and canines. At least he’d be able to sit on the couch and make heart eyes in her direction as she shuffled around the kitchen with Jade and Erin as they tried to bake cookies–siding with Erin that they should sabotage the sweets while Jade tried desperately to keep them from ruining the batch. At least she would be there. Blake didn’t need her to love him back. He just needed her.
And he wouldn’t have her if she drove off into the sunset with his little best friend and left him in the deep red glow of her brakelights.
But again, Blake didn’t interrupt. His lips parted around the words, but Sabrina wasn’t done talking. Out of habit, he held onto his thoughts and saved them for later.
It was like the taught cord in him was severed with her desperate voice–the anger bleeding out and shoulders going slack. There the truth was. He was glad he’d kept his tongue still. If he’d spoken, maybe she would have had enough time to think before she admitted this. He knew what she was doing and he let her get away with it because either way, he heard what he wanted to hear. And then he didn’t. The ringing was back in his ears.
It was his fault.
She’d lied before. It was his fault that she left. His world tilted on its side, everything he thought he knew sliding out of view. Instinctively, his hands grabbed hers, holding them in place where they rested against his chest. He wouldn’t go. She knew that. Blake was never one to leave a conversation early, no matter how painful it was. And this? Yeah, this took the cake for the most painful. He caused her to leave. He was the reason she left. It was his worst nightmare, his greatest fear. His eyes glossed over, but he wouldn’t cry.
It was bittersweet. She had feelings for him, but she hated that she did so immensely that she’d left. It was a hard pill to swallow.
But he did swallow it. His adam's apple bobbed as he drained his mouth of the words that had died on his tongue. That was a lot. It was a lot to take in and a lot to reply to. Blake figured it was a pretty lucky fucking thing that he had a way with words. Squeezing his eyes tight for a moment, he composed himself. This could end so poorly if he let it. He could be pissed and retaliate to what she’d said, but this was his girl. His Brina Baby. His best friend and the person he’s longed for for as long as he could remember. This was the girl he loved.
A deep breath in, out, and he opened his eyes.
“Brina,” he started gently, trying to keep his voice calm and laced with only the softest of emotions. His hands lifted hers from his chest, turning them so their palms touched and hung between them. “You can be so stupid sometimes,” he laughed, but it sounded so fucking sad. There was a wetness to his eyes, but he willed it not to fall–he willed his whole fucking world to not fall to the floor and shatter. He shook his head, so many things running through his mind, he didn’t know where to start. He tried to remember what she’d said in order, not wanting to miss anything but it had been such an emotional information dump that he was struggling. “It matters. This matters. I matter, Brina. You can’t–you aren’t just going to leave me again. I’d, I would go with you. I can’t do this without you again. I don’t want to. I’ll ride in the fucking trunk if I have to, but you aren’t going to abandon me again,” Blake tried to lighten the mood with a joke, but it was a miserable attempt at it because he would ride in the boot of the car if he had to. Maybe that’s overbearing or creepy to say, but fuck it. She knew him better than anyone else, he thought. She should know he can’t be without his lifeline. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, shaking his head as he pushed past the irritation he felt at what she’d said.
His eyes found hers once more, softer as he moved forward to what she’d said next. “I leave you alone because I don’t trust myself, Brina. I’m so fucking scared I’ll do something that will make you leave again. I want to hold you while you sleep. I want to stay. I want to hear you snore and have you kick me because you’re a fucking monster in your sleep–or, you used to be,” there had been nights the pack was dogpiled on the living room floor, knocked out after a long movie marathon–he’d always wake up with Sabrina’s foot shoving at him or buried deep in the meat of his side. He missed those moments. He missed her. “I don’t know anymore and I hate that I don’t know every single thing about you. I’m not running off with any girls. I can’t even remember the last time I even fucked a girl, Brina. I can’t. I can’t see anyone else when you’re around. Don’t you fucking get that?” He felt like his crush had been so obvious ever since she’d returned. He had tried so hard to not act differently, but he couldn’t be who he had become in those two years with her around. He didn’t want anyone else. They’d been a distraction, a band-aid. Now he had her. “I wanted it to be you!” His voice was too loud. Briefly he worried about Addie, but she had slept through Murphy screaming at the twins before so he wasn’t too concerned. “Every fucking girl? I wanted her to be you. I did all of this to get over you, Sabrina,” he was saying too much–he was so lost in himself that he had said her full name. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that. Blake wasn’t like Sabrina. He couldn’t hide behind thinly veiled lies. He didn’t want to lie. He’d held this in for so long and this isn’t how he wanted it to come out, but oh fucking well. He moved their joined hands then, bringing them back to his chest and causing her to stumble forward into him. “I’m not going anywhere, Brina. You can push all you fucking want, but I’ll never leave you. I never have left you. I regret not chasing after you every fucking day, but I was a little bitch. I was hurt and angry and confused and I didn’t want to have you say to my face that you didn’t want me around. It was easier to pretend and I’m sorry for that. I did shit I’m not proud of. I used those girls and it felt great in the moment, but every time I’d look over and it wasn’t you and I’d have to start over again. I was trying to upset you because you fucking hurt me so bad. I was trying to find someone else because I thought I’d never have you back. But I do now! And I’m not letting you go. You can push and push and fucking try to get me to go, but I won’t,” he sucked in a sharp breath then, his eyes wild and heartbeat so loud he could barely hear his own voice.
His eyes searched hers then. He’d always loved them. From afar, they were so dark and sharp, but this close he could pick out the flecks of green and gold that hid in the shadows of the auburn and cinnamon hues. It was like the stump of an oak tree, layers of browns stacked around her iris. It was gorgeous. Blake lost himself for a moment. This was Sabrina. His Sabrina. An obscure memory rushed him then, as his eyes dropped to her lips. When he was thirteen and she was twelve, he had leaned in to kiss her. His mother had left on some risque film filled with blood and gore and sex. He’d seen the way the guy saved the girl and they celebrated the moment with a deep kiss that had split to a soft-core porn shot just seconds after. Sabrina had tripped and fell on their way back to the Pines’ cabin. Jensen and Ashton were further ahead and had been too deep in their conversation to notice. Her ankle twisted and she’d let out a sharp cry. Blake was on her in an instant, hands running over her shoulders before pulling her into a hug. He’d wrapped her ankle with his over-shirt like he’d seen in the movie–she told him it was stupid and that she’d heal in an hour or so, but he didn’t care. He carried her back to the cabin and tucked her tight against his side on the couch after propping her foot up. The cousins thought it was hilarious how doting he was being, but left them be on the couch while they went swimming. Blake had turned to her then, lost in her eyes then as he was now. He’d thought of the movie. He saved her, so he had to kiss her, right? He’d leaned in, but as he did, Ashton screamed some obscenity outside and she’d turned sharply to see what happened. His lips landed on her cheek. She had looked at him with horror and he fumbled for some excuse. He was trying to kiss it better, blaming some show he’d seen when he was a kid. She hesitated before rolling her eyes and wiping her cheek off with a disgusted look. He hadn’t tried anything like that again. His first kiss should have then but instead it was with some girl from his math class while she was high off her ass a few weeks after Sabrina had abandoned him.
He couldn’t change the past, but he could control his present–his future.
“I’m in love with you, Brina,” he said in a rush, in a breath–like he could finally breathe again now that he’d finally said the words aloud. He laughed, bright and cheery and full of disbelief. He said it. Fuck, he said it. His hands flexed around hers, eyes desperate as they looked into hers for something–anything. She felt it too, right? She had to. Everything she’d just said, that meant she did too, right? “I love you,” he said again, firmer and louder and so fucking honestly, “For so fucking long, I couldn’t tell you when it happened. I love you now and I loved you then and I tried so fucking hard to forget you in those two years and I couldn’t. I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t let you go when you got in my car. I can’t let you go now. It fucking ruined me when you left. It was like I lost a piece of myself, Brina. I was so lost and I–I can’t go through that again. I love you. Not as a friend. Not as a pack mate or your brother,” he hissed the word, he hated that word, “I’m in love with you. I’d kill for you. I’d leave this town for you. I’d do anything you asked, Brina Baby. Anything.” He panted, out of breath after his rushed confession.
He paused, looking for something in her eyes–hoping he’d find it.
He didn’t know if she would remember the nickname. It had been on the tip of his tongue for years, but once he knew he liked her, calling her baby felt different. When they were kids, not long after he first shifted, he’d found a Beanie Baby in some storage bin in his mom’s room after he’d snooped around. It was a light gray wolf with pretty purple eyes. He’d stolen it and wrapped it in newspaper as wrapping paper. He didn’t have money for a birthday gift, but that didn’t matter back then. He’d been so damn happy that she had liked it. He’d said that his Brina Baby needed a Beanie Baby (he liked the way it rolled off his tongue, how cute and silly it sounded), that it was just like her. Pretty and a wolf and eyes the same shade as that damn purple dress. She’d blushed so deeply back then, more open with her emotions around him. When she trusted him completely. He wondered if she still had it.
“Please say it back,” he begged, tears teetering on the ridge of his eyelids, “Please, Brina.”
He’d get down on his fucking knees. He’d do anything to get her to say it back.
This was his Brina. His girl. He needed her like air. To hell with what he thought earlier, he needed her to love him too.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
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Post by Sabrina Mets on May 10, 2022 21:05:25 GMT
Why was she always in this ridiculous teal with obnoxious red piping waitress dress during these conversations? Why was it always late, the moon hanging quietly in the sky? Why did her ability to be rational completely fade away when it was Blake she was talking to? If it was anyone else she would have taken the time to watch what she what saying. She would have been mindful of the wound her words could inflict. The wolf inside of her taunted her every month, monster, it would whisper to her but she didn’t have to be. She could be the voice of reason, the shoulder to lean on, the person who would always match your energy. With Blake she seemed to lose the ability to be the sensible one with a reasonable answer to most anything.
There was little reasoning with herself when it came to Blake. The only part of her that had control over these situations was the primal, territorial side that seemed to scream mine whenever a girl leant to close, whenever she thought his eyes tracked a girl’s backside as she walked away, whenever he wouldn’t give her every second of his attention. Sabrina was a complete mess when it came to him. Jealous, possessive and about every other toxic trait that could come from unrequited love for someone you’d known for years. It was the side of her that shifted into long claws and elongated canines that had reacted when she’d seen him at those parties, arm draped around a girl’s waist, mouth tickling the side of their neck. Most every time she’d seen it, Sabrina had acted out, pursued whoever kept making eyes at her and loudly declared that they should go find somewhere quieter. Whether Blake heard or not, she told herself she didn’t care. It was after, sweaty and disappointed that her human heart ached. It was the human heart that bled out in the days to follow.
It was her human heart now, slowly turning to a puddle in her chest. The disappointment on his face hit her like a fucking sledgehammer. She’d said to him that first day back in February that she’d leave. Had he just ignored that fact? Hoped it would go away? Her home situation had improved, she couldn’t deny that, thanks to the Pack but it still wasn’t comfortable. She’d still be powerless against her family if they decided to punch her back a few pegs. She needed to become a ghost to them, to be so unreachable that she might as well have been dead. Or never existed. They wouldn’t miss her either way, she knew that now.
Then Blake stood up and Sabrina had to take a moment from her spiel to gather her confidence to continue. She knew he wouldn’t hurt her but his anger was undeniable. It was impossible for her to match his attitude. Not when she just kept digging her own hole. Not when she just couldn’t keep her mouth shut. She was going to destroy whatever tender piece of friendship they’d managed to form again. Why would he not stop her from talking? From spilling all of her secrets that even the notes of her private (or at least it had been) journal didn’t get to know.
She’d admitted the one thing she’d told herself to keep quiet. Her precious little secret. Her precious little seed of hope and love that she’d nurtured quietly in the depths of her mind. She’d never forgotten the first time they met. It had been a cloudy day but she’d smiled brightly, still caught up in the idea of a happy home. Her parents were home for a couple of weeks and they were meant to be going to the movies that night. Just the three of them to see some cartoon film Sabrina had begged them to take her to from the moment they’d stepped through the door. Nine-year-old Sabrina had been far more forgiving, far more believing that this was just a temporary situation and not the reality of the rest of her life. Swinging from the monkey bars, Sabrina had pulled herself upside down, blood rushing to her head and making the whole world go fuzzy. She’d caught sight of two boys, chasing each other. The world had been too blurry to get a good picture of them but when she’d arrived a minute or so late to her class, feet dizzy from the swooshing of blood around her body, the teacher had pointed to the only spare seat in the class. The boy’s top was the same as one of the two and Sabrina had stared at him for a moment too long whilst the teacher ran through the 8 times tables. “I’m Sabrina, but you can call me whatever,” she’d said to the boy who she’d later learn was Jensen. Something within Sabrina had drawn her to the boy and whilst she was quiet and not too overbearing in her approach, Sabrina had asked him enough questions over the course of their class to consider him a friend. At lunch she’d trailed after Jensen, following him to his other friend. The other boy. He seemed a bit skinnier than Jensen, similar to how Sabrina’s how bones stuck out a little too much at times thanks to older brothers who forgot she always needed food on school days. There was something about Blake that had made Sabrina’s grin grow a little bigger that first day. His messy hair and brown eyes that matched Sabrina’s own. Before Jensen had the chance to introduce her, Sabrina had stepped forward, sticking out her hand in greeting because that’s what she’d seen on TV. “Hi, I’m Sabrina,” she’d said happily and after a moment of hesitation on his side, Blake had reached out his hand just as Sabrina had planned. “Too slow,” she teased, pulling her hand back and leaving him hanging. Another trick she’d seen on TV. The look on Blake’s face after that was forever imprinted on Sabrina’s mind. Shock and what she liked to tell herself was mild awe. From that moment on, Sabrina always felt like she had to tease him or best him in some small way somehow. She’d never known how to just relax in his presence. Part of her had always wanted a little bit more. More attention. More time. More of his laughs. More of his sweet nicknames that would forever trigger some precious little pocket of purity in her mind.
But what existed in her mind wasn’t real. Right?
Blake’s hands latching onto hers were very real. Every painful emotion she could sense rolling off of him was very real. He did care. Maybe Jensen was wrong, maybe she was as dense as a fucking concrete brick.
Finally, finally, Blake opened his mouth and actually spoke. Sabrina knew what she’d said had cut deep, could tell from the way his eyes glossed over. She truly could be a horrible person. But his voice, for her – only ever like this for her – was soft. Gentle. Caring. So, first Jensen had implied she was dense and now Blake was calling her stupid. Not a great day for Sabrina’s IQ. She wanted to laugh a bit with him but her body was too distracted, staring at their linked hands, fingers laced around one another.
Of course he mattered. He was the most important boy in her life. Again. Sabrina winced at the word, fingers squeezing against his, eyes shuttering close to try to avoid the hurt in what he was saying. Look who the coward was now.
He’d go with her? Sabrina would never dare ask. Sabrina would never allow herself to be selfish in that way and ask Blake if he’d leave his friends behind to go with her, even if she knew they’d all be heading off in separate directions after graduation. There’d been a small part of her who had imagined him coming with her, particularly in recent weeks when she’d come back from the diner, body heavy with exhaustion but feeling lighter the moment she saw Blake. She’d caught him once, doing the voices Addie loved so dearly, Sabrina had hung outside her sister’s room, trying to remain as quiet as possible. Picturing nights of the three of them picking a character each to read aloud. Blake would always pick the one with the highest pitched voice, sending Addie and Sabrina into equally hysterical fits of laughter. In her imaginings, Sabrina allowed herself to meet Blake’s eye. Allowed her hands to reach over and brush over his, eyes full of promise and peace with the life they’d formed. It was all in her head though, a minute later, Blake had stepped out of Addie’s room and lightly smacked the book against Sabrina’s head. “Caught you snooping,” he’d poked at her, amusement on his face. She’d only had the energy to roll her eyes before quietly thanking him for watching Addie and watching him leave. How easy it would be if she’d asked him to stay. To spend the night and not make the drive back to the cabin. Sabrina had convinced herself that asking him such things was selfish. He wasn’t hers to ask and request things of all the time.
Come with me she wanted to scream. She wanted to get him to promise her he would. She’d say they could go in his ridiculous sportscar if it meant he’d go with her.
She seemed to open her eyes at the same point he did, searching for answers in their swirling depths. He felt too far away in every sense. It was her turn for disbelief to coat her features, for her hands to go slightly slack in his. She’d read the situation all wrong. Had read it essentially back to front and upside down whilst poorly translated from Google Translate. He didn’t leave because he was sneaking off to some other girl. He left because he didn’t trust himself and wasn’t that something Sabrina knew all too well. Except when she’d left, she’d completely ditched them all, so untrusting of her own feelings and impulses that she’d done a runner. A decision that was still costing her happiness. Still, a smile managed to poke through at his monster comment. Even now she slept oddly, starfished or half-falling off of the mattress. It was a miracle she’d never tumbled out of the top bunk before.
He wanted it to be her. Fuck, oh fuck. The sentence made Sabrina feel sick to her stomach. “Is that meant to make me feel better,” she shot back, words escaping her before she could control them. Territorial little bitch. Regret filled her instantly. Of all the things to respond to, why that part? “Why get over me when you didn’t even attempt to get with me?” Her calm was slipping again, the use of her full name her undoing. She wished they could start this conversation over. Then again, she was certain that if she’d had more sleep and felt less mentally fragile she’d have brushed off the journal passages as nothing more than her being melodramatic. She hadn’t expected him to pull her closer and had instead been gearing up to launch into full verbal defence. What she was defending, she was no longer sure. So, she stumbled, ending up far closer to him than she had been before. There was no hiding their feelings this close. No way to hide the hammering of her heart. Or the tears that were lining her lower lashes, ready to just tumble free.
They’d live the same life these past two years. Using other people to fill the void of each other. Inflicting pain on themselves because they were too stuck in their pride to make the first move and reach out. Her face was crestfallen, regret lining every pore of her body.
He wouldn’t leave. And neither would she.
Carefully, so fucking carefully, Sabrina reached out until her right hand cupped the side of his face, finger brushing against his cheek. “I hate that I’m always in this dress during our honest conversations. It’s going to make my character seem a complete mess in the movie remake of our life.” She joked, smile sad but laced with every feeling she wanted to spill, “If only we’d been honest sooner.” They could have saved themselves so much hurt. When they were younger, Blake had always been the one to deal with her hurts, even when she tried to bat him away telling him she’d heal and be good as new in no time. She allowed herself a quiet moment, committing his face in this moment to her memory. To hold forever in a little pocket of her heart next to all the daydreams she had about the future that would never come to fruition. Because even now, she didn’t believe he’d stick by her side no matter what. The way their lives had gone, the homes they grown up in before finding their pack, it was impossible to think of someone staying. To imagine being loved unconditionally. So, she’d keep it as a memory for those long lonely nights she knew she’d have countless of in the future. With a final sweep of her finger over the soft skin of his cheek, palm brushing against his evening stubble, Sabrina dropped her hand slowly, hesitating as she drew the distance between them again. Hand feeling incredibly empty, Sabrina grabbed hold of his empty hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Whether she believed that he’d stay or not, she wasn’t leaving him, no way. She needed him to guide her through life. To tie her hair up when she complained her arms were tired. To walk on the road side of the pavement to keep her safe even if she rolled her eyes every time he did it. She needed him to come home to. Because he was her home. He was her safe place. Her safe person.
Her person.
Who... loved her? Sabrina couldn’t stop the soft gasp that escaped her, eyes flaring wide. It was only this morning that she’d thought to herself that no one would ever say that to her. But there it was. Coming from Blake. His laugh shook her into action, hands tightening around his, mouth still open in disbelief. Was this happening? He was in love with her. Her head was spinning, heart running into overdrive that she half expected it to explode inside of her. The tears spilt then, finally, rushing down her cheeks faster than she could register them. He’d do anything for her. And she knew would for him. If he asked her to swim the ocean to fetch him a rare seashell, she would. If he needed her to stay up all night with him during the full moon, keeping him locked up and out of harm, she would. If he was sick she’d knock on every doctor’s door until she found him a cure. The thought of not looking over her shoulder and seeing him shattered her heart into tiny pieces. There’d be no way to piece that mess back together.
Maybe she should start believing that people could be there for her. The past seven months had proved it. There Ashton was, showing her different boxing moves whilst she sat on the back porch, late evening sun casting the sky in pink hues because even though Sabrina had never said it, he could tell that she wanted to feel protected. There Murphy was, pushing all of Sabrina’s buttons before an exam to distract her from completely spiralling because he knew she needed a good grade to pass their class. There Jensen was, spending a whole Sunday working on Addie’s papier-mâché volcano for a school project that Sabrina had only been informed about the evening before. Blake was there in every one of those memories. He was sat next to her on the porch before hurrying over to demonstrate what part of the body Sabrina should hit for the most damage. He was tugging on her ponytail, swishing her hair back and forth to get her out of her head even more. He was there with finger paints with Addie, a small, bright red hand print on the sleeve of his white top. Sabrina had laughed at the sight before scolding her sister but none of them took it seriously. He was always there. Her shadow- no, more than that. The other half to her.
That name. Brina Baby. Sabrina’s smiled ripped wide then, eyes slipping from his for a second, looking down to her bedside table and the small locked tin she kept there for her most treasured positions. The Beanie Baby never left it. Only on Blake’s birthdays when she was alone had she got it out, holding it close to her chest until she fell asleep. She’d wake the following morning with it buried close to her side, hand still tight around it. A substitute for the real thing. He’d done a terrible job at trying to forget her if he still remembered that gift.
The desperation in Blake’s voice drew Sabrina’s attention back in. Where could she even begin with everything he’d just offered. “I’m not going anywhere, not without you. I can’t survive without you, Blake. I lost myself whilst I was alone. I’m only just starting to put the pieces back together but I know that I feel the most like myself when I’m with you. It terrifies me but I can’t keep running from the way I feel. When I was alone, it was always the thought of you that kept me from completely losing it. Except...” Sabrina trailed off, knowing that she hadn’t answered the big thing he’d said. But she’d get there. She just needed to get a couple more things off her chest first. “Except, of course, the times I’d go, uh feral as I like to call it, when I saw you with them. But I think we can forget those times. I know I want to. They meant nothing. They were never you. I wanted you. Every night, I want you.” Not past tense. Now. Every damn day when she crawled into the double bed of this room that felt so alien to her, she wished she had him there.
Releasing one of his hands from her own, Sabrina turned it so the palm faced her, lightly tracing the lines along it, Sabrina averted her gaze from his. Running her finger along the thick line closest to his thumb, Sabrina smiled softly, “you’re my lifeline, Blake.” Stopping her idle finger movements, Sabrina looked back up at him, eyes wary but as clear as they’d been in a long time. Forget about anchors. Forget about her innate desire to need a pack. Blake was more than all that. Blake was the person she’d run to if the world was about to end. Blake was the one she would always find it in herself to forgive. Blake was what she wanted. If he didn’t like her list of road trip destinations, then fine, she’d find a new planet for them to explore. As long as he was with her.
The world had been fuzzy hanging upside down from the monkey bars. The world had been fuzzy after she’d slapped Ashton and walked away for what could have been forever. The world had been fuzzy sitting in Blake’s car and looking at him from across the handbrake seven months ago. The world was crystal clear now. She could picture it. Them driving away together, finding someplace new and visiting their friends along the way. They wouldn’t need much, they’d never had much to begin with, just each other and somewhere warm to come back to.
She was about to ask him the impossible, knew that he was still desperately waiting for her to say it back. “Can you wait here, just for a minute?” Her words were near breathless coming out but she just wanted to show him. “I’ll be right back, I promise.” And she meant every word. Raising one of his hands to her lips, Sabrina kissed his knuckles lightly, “to make you feel better,” she joked, “don’t wipe it off.” With that final comment, Sabrina slid her hands out from his and backed up to her door, not taking her eyes off him just yet.
Past the threshold of her door, Sabrina left one last lingering look, eyes hanging onto the curves of lips before she dragged herself away. She was running, feet quick and light across the wooden beams of the hallway. Grabbing her car keys which she’d unceremoniously dumped on the floor, Sabrina hurried out to her car. What if he thought she was making a run for it? The great escape artist, Sabrina Mets, at it again. This time gone for good. So you better catch her now. No, no, all she did was pull open the trunk of her car to reveal the small collection of things she’d gathered for Blake’s birthday. Glancing back at the wide-open door to her house, she half expected to see Blake there but it was vacant. Thankfully he wouldn’t bear witness to her struggling to lift the cake box, the wrapped gift and the obnoxiously large card which she’d picked only due to its size. She managed it though and with a rather unladylike lift and push of her leg she was able to slam the trunk shut. Except, she hadn’t been able to keep her graceless move to herself.
He was there. She should have known he wouldn’t wait a minute. That boy had little patience and really, she couldn’t blame him when she’d left him hanging. “Close your eyes!” She barked trying to laugh against the knot in her stomach that told her he didn’t trust her to keep her word. Yeah, she’d have to work on that. “You’ll ruin your birthday surprise.” She amended, struggling with the box and trying desperately to not let the little wrapped box fall off its lid. The card had rather hastily been shoved under her armpit. “Although your birthday was a couple of days ago and I wasn’t sure if I should give you this at the party, so if you want to look you can. It’s all hidden anyway.” She shuffled toward him, trying to look annoyed that he’d come outside but those soft emotions were starting to shine through. “You couldn’t even wait for one minute,” shaking her head, Sabrina slipped past him and back inside.
Her heart was starting to pound now, drumming heavy in her ears yet for the first time in a while her heart felt solid. She wasn’t about to rip it out nor was she about to make it puddle up inside of her. No, she had to be honest now. Her steps weren’t as quick as they had been before but anticipation fuelled them as she slid back into her room, Blake hot on her heels. Gently she placed the cake box down on her dresser which so far had a small mirror, a messy pile of makeup and hair ties and a book she’d picked up in the summer and never finished reading. She hadn’t let herself settle into the room yet. There were no photos decorating the surfaces, no posters on the wall. Everything about this house had started to feel temporary. Except for right now. Right now, Blake felt like a very permanent fixture.
“See, I said I’d be right back and with gifts,” although yeah, she’d left out the context that probably would have reassured Blake as to why she was leaving. Hopping from foot to foot, suddenly feeling ten years old and having proper friends in her life for the first time. Sabrina grabbed the wrapped box and passed it over to him. “Open it, open it,” she said making sure he had a firm grip on it before letting go. Inside was a framed photo of a day she’d thought had gone completely undocumented until she was bored a few weeks back, the boys bickering over what film to watch that night, and she’d wandered down into the basement. She usually tried to avoid the space as much as possible, it didn’t exactly scream warm and inviting. But there were boxes down here, full of random items that Sabrina could guess had belonged to Jensen’s mum and were now shoved down here to be kept out of sight and out of mind. One box labelled ‘Summer 2013’ caught her attention as she remembered, one of them had had a film camera that summer but Ashton had returned home before any of the film could be developed and so it had been forgotten. Except someone had clearly thought to get the photos printed at some point. Sabrina had delved into the box, calling out that she’d be up in a bit when Jensen shouted down the stairs asking if she’d join them. A lot of the photos were scenery but their young, smiling faces filled many of them. Murphy was there completely red raw from spending all day by the pool. It was before he’d been turned so he felt the effects of the sun far more than he would now. There the five of them were in a pyramid, Ashton somehow the one on the top, Jensen’s face strained as he held his cousin up whilst balancing on the laughing backs of Sabrina, Blake and Murphy. There were so many moments she’d forgotten.
Until she’d gotten to one set of pictures. Her birthday had been a few days earlier, she’d received a bit of extra money from her parents as a gift. They’d given up on picking something personal out years before. She’d gone to the mall and treated herself to something pretty for one of the first times in her life. It was a replacement for the purple dress she’d had when she was younger which she’d hung onto in case Addie ever wanted it. This dress fell above her knees and actually fit her. She’d put it on, on that fateful day even though she knew they’d planned on going on a hike and camping overnight. She had just been excited to wear it, to feel pretty. The day had been going well, all the usual antics and bickering and as the sun started to make its descent, Sabrina and Murphy had decided to have a race. It was completely unfair, of course, by this point Sabrina was used to the extra speed and strength her genes provided but Murphy was adamant he could beat her. She’d been winning until she caught a root and fell. Sabrina’s fingers ran over a picture of that very moment, of Murphy running ahead and Sabrina mid-fall, arms flailing and hair going wild. The dress had ripped, right across the backside as she tumbled and land ass first before skidding to a stop. “I’m fine, I’m okay,” she’d said as they’d all rushed over, waving her hands to get them to disperse. They did within moments, wanting to get back to the fire they were starting to coax into life. Blake stayed, eyes full of concern and not believing her for a second. “Are you hurt?” He’d asked quietly, Sabrina had shaken her head but the tears were starting to form. “I ripped my dress,” she admitted, knowing he’d understand the upset that would cause. Like a year earlier when she’d fallen and hurt her ankle, Blake was taking off his shirt, thin black t-shirt the only thing he’d have to keep him warm as the evening grew even darker. “Use that to cover it. We’ll get it fixed, Brina,” he’d promised. Sabrina had smiled up at him, standing up slowly and tying it around her waist. She never knew that moment had been captured on film. As she sat crossed legged in the basement, Sabrina couldn’t stop staring at it. The sky behind them was an easy purple, half moon hanging in the sky behind them and she was looking at him like he’d solved all of her issues. Like he could do anything in the world. Sabrina couldn’t find it in her to leave the photo behind.
That was the photo lovingly preserved in the frame, a note on the back of the frame which she’d written spur of the moment then tossed and turned all night over. To my hero, happy birthday. Love Brina x.
Sabrina watched as he unwrapped the photo, she had no idea if he’d remember that night at all. It had been a small moment but for her, it was the moment everything had changed. “That was the night I think I started to love you,” Sabrina murmured, hands wringing together. The scent of sickly sweet grape icing was starting to cloy her senses. “It happened slowly, I was able to ignore it for a while until I couldn’t anymore. Then I ran because I was scared that I’d do something impulsive and mess everything up and I had no idea if you even felt that way. Clearly, I’ve been wrong about that.” Sabrina crowded into his side, personal space be damned, tapping beside her face in the photo, she spoke even quieter, “that look is how I feel every day.”
“I loved you then, even if I didn’t realise it and I loved you all those months we were apart.” Voice getting louder, more confident in what she was saying, Sabrina looked up at him, nose near brushing against his jaw, “and I love you now, most of all.” It was terrifying to admit, her finger shaking a little as she moved it out of the way and back down to her side. “You’re my G.I. Blake, forever.” She promised and she just couldn’t help it anymore. Eyes dropping to his mouth, Sabrina whispered a quick, “fuck it,” before reaching out and closing the distance between them. Lips locking together, Sabrina knew Blake had safely dropped the photo onto her bed, was happy in the knowledge that that little moment would stay protected.
Her hands were on his cheeks, positioning herself to be in front of him directly. This was what she’d wanted for years. To be here in this moment, just the two of them. No other noise except a quiet peace in her mind. Her kiss may have faltered for a moment, a smile breaking through, hand dipping into the base of his hair. She knew she’d have to pull back in a moment, she hadn’t given Blake a chance to respond to her confession, unable to have the space between them anymore. But she could wait for him to do just that. She’d enjoy this moment for as long as she could.
Safe, happy, loved.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
76 posts.
19 years old.
ladies man.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Griffin on May 17, 2022 15:13:42 GMT
If Blake could spare a breath, he would have laughed at her attempt at a joke. His eyes dropped to her dress then, admiring the way the uniform clung to her curves. She was so damn pretty it didn’t matter what she wore. Uniform or not, he was just thankful that the words had finally leapt from his heart. That they were real and loud and tangible. That he couldn’t take it back. He leaned into her touch, savoring the feeling of her soft fingertips on his rough cheek. For children who had grown up without affection, they sure knew how to cater to one another’s needs. Blake thanked the Pines for that, for raising him better than he deserved. They’d given him a home, a family. If Jensen hadn’t shown him kindness, if Ashton hadn’t given him a friend, he feared who he’d be. They taught him how to mend hurt and how to lean on each other in times of pain–both physical and emotional. For a pack of four rowdy teenage boys, they lacked toxic masculinity for the most part. Murphy would laugh if Blake teared up at a sappy movie, knocking him with his elbow and giving him hell, but he’d sit next to him through another. Ashton would fake a gag when Jensen went on and on about how beautiful Iris was that night and how much he loved her but would prop his chin on his hand and listen to him for hours. They taught him it was okay to feel, to care for someone else. He struggled with it still sometimes, of course he did, but it was the strength they’d instilled in his character that allowed him to be brave enough now. He mourned the loss of the heat as she pulled her palm away, but she was quick to slide it back against his own. His lips twisted upwards at the corner, heart thrumming with hope. She couldn’t keep her hands off him. That had to be a good sign, right? If they made a film of their life, he couldn’t care less what they were wearing for these heart-to-heart moments. He just needed her answer to be verbatim. He needed a happy ending.
The silence was deafening. It was heavy in a way only anticipation could make it. His heart was thunderous in his ears, his breaths feeling too labored and loud. He hesitated to reply to what she’d said when she’d interrupted his speech–he couldn’t find it in him to risk speaking, didn’t want to give her the opportunity to avoid confessing back. No, it wasn’t supposed to make her feel better. It was supposed to make him feel better. Each girl was meant to be the glue and the tape and the bubble wrap to his heart. They were meant to be the next step, dragging him closer to the freedom from the chains Sabrina had locked on his heart, but he never moved. The nights were hot and heavy and so fucking fleeting. The high never lasted. He’d see Sabrina as he was leaving the bedroom he’d stolen his chosen fling for the night into, crowded against a guy in the kitchen. He’d see Sabrina in the hallway at school the next morning, avoiding his gaze the moment she caught his voice. He’d see Sabrina behind his closed eyes as he pushed himself deeper and faster and rougher into the moaning body beneath him. It was meant to make things better, but it never lasted. Not when he’d heard her whispering dirty promises to another guy, fingers curled into his shirt and lips brushing his neck. Not when she finally met his eye only to find her stare filled with hurt and disgust. He was only ashamed of his body count in those moments. Didn’t she understand that getting with her had never been an option? Not for Blake. Not for a boy who was convinced that loving meant losing. He’d rather bury his feelings in the dirt, in the heat of another woman than lose her. He would have done anything to keep her from leaving but it hadn’t fucking mattered. She left. She left because of him and he wanted to cry but he wasn’t a little bitch. He wouldn’t fucking cry. He prayed he didn’t cry. He wanted to tell her, to shake some sense into her, but his heart held his tongue back. If Blake had a watch, he would have glanced at it to make sure that it was mere seconds, minutes maybe, and not hours as he waited for her to say those three words back. As it was, he didn’t have a watch because watches were for losers and it felt wildly inappropriate to pull out his phone. Not that he could take his eyes off hers if he wanted to. Which he didn’t. She had pretty eyes.
Pretty eyes that were dripping with tears as the weight of his confession fell upon her heart. His fingers were quick to act, moving faster than he could process as they stole away from her hand and wiped carefully at her cheeks. Tears were bad, but she didn’t look upset. Tears were an omen for the worst, but she was grinning at him. She had to feel it, she had to love him back. He couldn’t accept a world where she didn’t, where he’d finally been brave enough to tell her that he’d been in love with her for as long as he could remember, and she turned him away. Blake had meant it when he said he didn’t have a cherry-picked moment. It wasn’t sudden. It wasn’t her smiling his way or some drama-filled, slow motion heroic action. It had just been her. It always has been. He couldn’t remember a time he didn’t love her. But in this silence, which was surely only seconds as he hung onto the hope that she was just shocked and not scared, Blake thought that maybe he could pick out the moment he knew he was certain. They’d met in second grade, Blake older by mere months, but always holding it over the rest of the pack. When their eyes locked, something in him clicked. It was like a puzzle piece slotted into place. He felt whole. He had a swarm of butterflies in the pit of his stomach and his palms felt sweaty and he couldn’t keep a giant, dumb grin off his lips. She had teased him. Had it been a year earlier, he may have pushed her down or said something cruel. He doesn’t think he’d ever be able to mean to Sabrina, but he’d been a hellion before the Pines. Maybe she would have been the exception. Maybe he was tired of all of these maybes. Did it matter? Did what he couldn’t change matter? Maybe. Fuck.
But that wasn’t the moment he was certain. It wasn’t the first time he saw her in that purple dress. It wasn’t the first time she held his hand as he fell behind, distracted by a cool looking rock just off the path they were walking and she curled her fingers into his to tug him along. It wasn’t the first time she’d peeled off her shirt and shorts to expose her bathing suit to the pack before diving into the pool and soaking them with water. It wasn’t the first time she leaned into his side after a horror movie’s jump scare got the better of her. He liked those moments. He loved those moments. But it wasn’t then that he knew.
It was a few months after the Pines had bought him his first phone. He’d spent most of his time texting Ashton, missing his best friend like crazy and struggling to adjust with the reality that he was a werewolf–that werewolves even existed. He was just barely thirteen, too fucking young for all that was happening and all that had happened to him. His mother was aloof. She spent her evenings in the club she worked at and days nursing her hangover. She sparsely provided him meals. Attention was even rarer. When she did spare him a glance, it often led to a heated argument. Blake’s claws would sharpen and eyes flash but she was drunk enough to overlook it. Uncle Benny was the one who taught him about control. He knew how Blake had been as a kid, and while he was better, that rage didn’t ever completely go away. He took it upon himself to spend those late nights in the cellar with Blake, coaching him through the full moon. He felt so comforted knowing that his closest friends were the same as him, but so damn alone because he was the oldest and it would be months before anyone else suffered the shift. On a rare night that his mother had forced him to stay at home despite her being at work, his phone vibrated beneath his pillow. It was silent to the house, but for his newly enhanced hearing, it woke him instantly. His mother didn’t know he had the device. He feared what she would do if she did. Drowsy and annoyed, he picked up on the third buzz without looking at the ID, his voice a sleep-heavy gruff, “What do you want?” Sabrina’s voice was sharp and fearful on the other end, begging as she whispered, “Blake, please.” He was a mile away, but it was like he could smell her fear. He never registered that it was his own. “The twins–they’re, they’re fighting, and mom and dad aren't’ home. I don’t know where my brothers are and Addie is–she won’t stop crying and I’m,” she hesitated, didn’t want to admit it but after a loud crash somewhere in her house had her forcing out, “I’m scared. I need you.” He was already out the door, running with a speed he still wasn’t used to as he promised, “I’ll be right there, Brina. I’m on my way.” He couldn’t tell how long it took, but it felt like just a breath before he was knocking on her window. He heard growls coming from within the house, crashing and shouts and suddenly there were hands on his face as Sabrina popped her head out of her window and called his name. She was so little, just barely twelve. She looked so brave, eyes wet and hands shaking but lips in a tight line and head held high. He nodded, letting her know he was focused on her. It was hard, so damn hard with all of these heightened senses and triggers, but she made it easy to push it aside. “Give me Addie, I’m going to get you out of here,” he said in a hushed tone, knowing that if her brothers paused for just a moment, they’d hear him. As it was, they were plenty distracted. She nodded and stepped out of view to grab her little toddler sister and hefted her out of the window and into his arms. He was still so uncomfortable around the baby, but he was figuring it out for Sabrina’s sake. He tucked her close to his chest, reaching out for Sabrina to help her down as he shushed the upset little girl. Sabrina eased her window shut once she was on the ground and turned to Blake with frightened eyes–as if to ask what they would do now without voicing it. He knelt in front of her, back towards her and she understood. Sabrina hugged his back tight while Addie clung to his chest. He was stronger than before, but still only thirteen. He ran quicker than most, but slower than before with the added weight. He ran until he couldn’t anymore. Until his lungs ached with the biting cold of the winter and his legs felt like jelly. He ran until he made it back to his house where his mother had left for work without ever checking to see if he was actually home. Addie had been rocked to sleep with the motion of his jogs, he laid her down on the middle of his bed where Sabrina was quick to move his pillows to build a wall around her in case she rolled. He watched with interest, feeling a pang in his chest at the sight. She was too young for this, to be so worried about something like that. Her parents should have the baby, not their tween daughter. He was startled out of his thoughts as she threw her arms around his torso and hugged him with all her might. She whispered her thanks into his shirt and he let his palms smooth over her back as he tucked his chin atop her head. They stood like that for a while, the crickets shuddering in the field near his rundown home. He wondered if she could hear them. He wondered that a lot. “Did Jenny not answer?” He found himself asking, shattering the silence with his curiosity. She leaned away then, confusion drawing her brows close as she shook her head. “I didn’t call him,” she whispered, sparing a glance at Addie as she pulled out of his reach. There was a blush to her cheeks that he could barely see, he was sure his face appeared the same. “I just, when they started getting rough, I just thought of you,” she said with a shrug, as if that wasn’t a reality-shattering revelation for Blake. She called him. Not Jensen. She always ran to him first. The responsible one. The smart one. But in this moment of panic? This dire moment of need? She called Blake. “You always answer,” she continued, stepping away to check on her sister as the baby turned, “And I knew you’d save me.” And he always did. He always would. That night, he slept on the floor while Sabrina and Addie cuddled on his bed. The next full moon, when Uncle Benny told him to find his anchor, he thought of Sabrina. It was then, as his claws sheathed back under his skin and his ears shrank back to normal that he was certain he loved Sabrina. He always had, but then he knew.
Things were different after that. He was much more careful about how he acted around her–so desperate to be by her side and keep her happy and safe and cared for, but at the same time guarded and cautious. As if he was scared he’d slip up and she’d run off. He wonders now if he hadn’t been so scared, would she still have left?
It must have only been seconds, but it felt like a lifetime before Sabrina surged to life and began to speak. It wasn’t the words he wanted to hear; his lips downturned in disappointment but he held out hope. She wasn’t leaving him. She was just as locked onto him as he was to her. Souls chained by fate. Tears of his own brimmed on his lashes as she spoke, saying everything he wanted to hear, but she kept holding onto those three words. She was talking around it, saying it without being so explicit. Each word sung with her love, but he needed to hear it. He was fucking dying over here, hanging onto her voice and praying the next words would be a melody of her heart singing to his own. Hell yeah he could forget those nights. He didn’t keep a list like her, he couldn’t point at a girl and say confidently he had or had not fucked her. They meant nothing to him. Only she did, and fuck–she was playing pretend with them too. She wanted it to be him too. No, she wants it to be him. He was going to cry. How could she keep skipping around the point? She was teasing him with it and he couldn’t take it.
And yet, he was too stunned to speak.
Everything she’d said, despite not being exactly what he wanted, had him floored. How had he been so blind? Blake thought he knew it all, that he harbored all secrets. How had he failed to see that she returned his feelings? Maybe he was just choosing to ignore it, maybe he didn't want to get his hopes up. All of these maybes could go fuck themselves.
His eyes dropped to where her finger was painting across his palm, tracing the patterns she drew as he swallowed down all of what she was saying. Lifeline. Yeah, he knew the feeling. She was his too. He chanced a look at her then, eyes meeting and he tried to read what she held in those dark depths. They were cups of coffee sprinkled with a dash of milk and a swirl of caramel. They were a forest of deep oaks and tall pines, the sienna and cinnamon hues highlighted by the flourish of green. They were honey glazed and gold dusted and amber toned. They were shimmering sunsets on a rocky coast, rocks dark with water and glowing in the low light of a dying star. They were hers. They were his favorite thing about her.
Blake straightened up to his full height, ready to beg once more, but she parted her lips around a request before he could. No. No he couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. But she played dirty and brought his knuckles to her lips and teased him with a kiss and he froze in bewilderment–completely dumbfounded. What the fuck? He found himself looking after her, eyes blurred as he tried to focus on where she had been standing. He was floored, taking a moment to really process all that she had said. She needed him, wanted him, but did she love him? He stood there for all of thirty seconds before springing into action. Was this a test? He hadn’t chased her before. He wouldn’t make the same mistake this time.
His footfalls were heavy as he raced after her, catching sight of her knocking the trunk shut with her leg–looking wholly caught as their eyes met. He panted, realizing that a part of him had been convinced she was going to make a run for it. She’d left him before because of these feelings, now that they were out in the open and they couldn’t hide behind anything anymore? Well, yeah, he wouldn’t put it past her to drive off again. Though, she had left Addie asleep in her room so he supposed that should have slowed his heartbeat but he wasn’t really a rational thinker, like, ever. He was impulsive. He was dumb. He felt guilty as their eyes met and she looked hurt that he thought the worst of her, but well, she’d given him a very solid reason to think so little of her. Though only in this specific situation. He smiled sheepishly, turning slightly and closing his eyes as she asked though he’d already caught sight of the birthday gifts. They were wrapped, no harm was done. He looked back when she said he could, following her back into the house. He spoke then, not able to bite his tongue this time. “I let you go once, Brina. I’m never gonna risk that again,” he said sincerely, but then smirked and attempted to lighten the situation because it was so suffocating with its seriousness, “Besides, I feel like you wouldn’t have let me hear the end of it if I hadn’t chased after you.”
He wanted to reach out, to touch, but she was precariously carrying all of the gifts and he knew she would object if he offered to help, and he really didn’t want to risk spooking her and making her drop something. So, he shoved his hands in his pockets and followed her back to her room. His nose tickled with the scent of grape, and he tried to peek at the box over her shoulder to see what it was but couldn’t make anything out with how it was all stacked. But just the fact that she’d found something grape flavored had his stomach in knots. Come on, how fucking cute is that? Everyone else hated the flavor because it reminded them of medicine, but he loved it. She got it just for him, knowing that everyone else wouldn’t touch it. Blake was convinced now, but he still needed her to say it.
He shrugged at her words, feeling justified in his decision to follow her. She’d made a big deal out of them not chasing her and he’d just promised to follow her anywhere, so she was stupid for thinking he would have just stood there. Though, he wouldn’t say that aloud. Ever. She could be scary sometimes and he was already so freaked out because this was feeling more and more like it was leading to rejection with how long she was dragging it out and Blake was not ready for that.
The gift settled in his hands, and he stared dumbly at it for a moment before blinking back up to her. He hesitated for only a second before peeling back the wrapping paper. He’d always loved gifts, liked ripping the gift wrap apart to find what was hiding beneath. Bags weren’t the same, not as destructive or fun to tear into. When they were kids, until he was about twelve, they had to sit him as far away from the birthday person as possible. He’d get impatient and steal the gift from them, tearing into it when they took too long. He was a real shit then. Still is now. But with this gift, he was careful. He took his time, dropping the paper to the floor as he cradled the frame in his hands. It took him a moment to register what he was looking at. It was them, just barely teenagers but still them. He remembered this. Ashton was back for the summer, and he’d been so happy to have him back. It wasn’t the same without him, he didn’t feel as brave without him. It was near the end of his stay that they’d decided to go on a camping trip for one night. As he traced their silhouettes, he recalled the events that led up to this moment. Murphy had challenged Sabrina to a race they all knew he would lose. Jensen was worried because of Murphy’s health. It had been declining recently. They’d all refused to talk about it, and Murphy insisted that he was fine. Blake stood back by Ashton, watching them race towards Jensen who had the camera aimed at them. He heard the camera’s shutter when Sabrina tripped, but not when he was at her side, holding out his shirt with his mouth moving around his promise. Which he’d kept. Sabrina had tucked the shirt around her waist, so visibly upset that Blake had pulled her into a hug before motioning Jensen over. Being the fatherly figure that he was, he’d packed a spare outfit. The shorts were big on Sabrina when she stepped back into the clearing after changing, but she held the shirt Jensen had in her hands. Instead, she was wearing Blake’s. If there were pink in their cheeks, no one commented. They would blame the California summer heat anyways.
Blake felt a wetness in his eyes that he blinked away. When they got back to the cabin the next day, he had taken the dress and sewn it himself. The summer before, Ashton’s mom had taught him how to do it. She’d offered to buy him a new wardrobe after finding his clothes littered with cuts and holes. He’d declined, feeling like they’d already done too much for him. Donna had understood. Ashton’s father had come from money, but she hadn’t. She’d known what it was like to have rips and tears in her clothes from claws and neglect. She learned how to make herself presentable and taught Blake the same. The boys didn’t know about this skill because he was too embarrassed to tell them and when Sabrina asked how it was fixed when he brought it to her the next time he saw her, he lied. He always felt like she knew anyways and was kind enough to not call him out on it. She always knew him.
He instinctively flipped the frame over, eyes tracing the words carefully written on the back. His heart swelled. Her hero. Love.
And then she’d said it.
The word tumbled from her pretty lips, and he snapped his head up to watch them move around the rest. Love.
Love. Love. Love.
She loved him.
Blake felt like he was dreaming, like he was going to faint. He didn’t realize he was grinning until his cheeks began to sting with the force of it. She fell in love differently than he had, but she was in love with him nonetheless. He couldn't get enough of that. She loves him. As in now. As in presently. Not past tense. Now. He laughed. Yeah, they’d both been so wrong and so stupid and so hopeless.
But they were here now. No matter how long it took or how many wrong paths they’d trekked down. They still found their way here.
Blake glanced briefly at the photo as she pointed at it, but couldn’t find it in him to keep his eyes away from her face for very long as she pushed into his side. He was stiff as her nose nuzzled at his jaw, so nervous that he’d make a wrong move and shatter the serenity of this moment.
Forever. God, he prayed that was true. He wasn’t the religious type, but he knew his grandparents had been. He didn’t think about them often. Why the hell was he doing it now?
He just caught her whisper in time, knowing what was coming as he tossed the frame on the bed behind him and then bringing his hands to her hips. Blake inhaled briefly before their lips met, eyes falling shut as he surged forward. Maybe he was thankful that she hadn’t been his first, that he had enough practice to know how to knock her off her feet. Fucking maybes. His fingers flexed on her waist, pulling her impossibly closer so there wasn’t a breath between them. His head turned to the side, angling just so. He refused to think right now. He knew his thoughts would send him into a panic. He wanted to savor this moment and divulge in the mess of it all after. His lips mimicked hers, twisting into a smile as she tugged gently at the strands of hair at the base of his neck. And then he was back on her, closing the distance once more and teasing his tongue at the seam of her lips. When she granted him entrance, he explored with confidence for a moment–one hand dropping to cup her ass as the other moved to the back of her head to take control as he tended to do. But then he realized what he was doing. She wasn’t some quick fuck he could just maneuver how he wanted. This was Sabrina. He couldn’t rush this. Hell, he didn’t know what this really was yet. Despite this, he couldn’t help himself as he squeezed her ass once before smoothly pulling back.
“I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Blake said in a husky whisper, feigning confidence as he forced himself to not freak the fuck out. He pressed his forehead to hers, panting softly and eyes still shut. He took a moment to let it all soak in. She loved him back. She had since they were kids. She kissed him. Fuck, they kissed. This was real. He smiled then, a soft chuckle falling from his lips as his hands moved to cradle her hips once more. He felt too hot, like he was burning up. “You’re my Brina Baby forever,” he promised, not able to stop himself from kissing her once more–short but solid and passionate. He pulled back then, just enough space to catch his breath and meet her eyes. “I mean it, Brina. I’ve loved you the whole time I’ve known you. Hell, I think I was put on this Earth to love you. I wish I’d said it before, but I thought it would scare you off,” Blake’s voice had started off strong, but faltered as he continued, “But I guess that doesn’t matter now.” What happened has already happened. There was no changing it. Maybe it needed to go this way so they could all grow. Damn all these maybes.
He hated not being certain of everything, but at least he was certain of her.
“I love the gift,” he offered, glancing at it as he said, “You have no idea what it did to me when you chose my shirt afterwards. Seems so fucking stupid now, but it made me feel like you were mine. Like I claimed you, you know? I just pretended you were mine for real that night.” A smile curved his lips as he looked back at her, eyes sparkling with mischievousness and love and hope.
“You are mine, right?” If there were nerves in his voice, he ignored it. He didn’t want to doubt her, to doubt this, but she’d run before and in the back of his mind he couldn’t forget that. What if she panicked and left again? What if she realizes she doesn’t want this? Blake couldn’t move past that. He couldn’t pretend it was just the heat of the moment–couldn’t act like he hadn’t waited his whole life to have her in her arms, to have her taste on his tongue. “Cause I love you, Brina. I need you. More than anything,” did he sound desperate?, Yes. Did he care about that? No. “I’m with you. Just say the word and I’ll drive us off into the fucking sunset. I don’t care where it is, as long as I'm with you,” and he really didn’t want to beg again, but he would if he had to.
No one else got him like this. Just her. Just his Sabrina. His Brina Baby.
He loved her to the moon and back. He loved her more than life itself. She was his soulmate. Cheesy as it was, he believed it to be true.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
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Post by Sabrina Mets on May 29, 2022 21:06:37 GMT
He’d chased after her. He loved – no, loves – her. Those two facts were the only pieces of information firing through Sabrina’s brain as she watched Blake slowly, so damn carefully, unwrap the gift. She wished he’d hurry up and rip into it like he had when they were kids. It had been a more impressive form of self-control when he’d stopped shredding into wrapping paper than learning to not go full psycho during the full moon. She was going to lose her nerve soon enough and brush aside the whole thing but then Blake was studying the image and Sabrina stayed silent for a moment, not wanting to break his focus but when he read the words, they all tumbled out of her mouth anyway.
If someone were to capture that moment between them, Sabrina knew the paint palette would be full of bright yellows and pinks, cheery stripes of sky blue and white accents to capture the light that seemed to be radiating from their bodies. Matching grins, both confessing what they’d held tight for years and lighter for it. Not that a part of Sabrina wasn’t terrified by what they’d admitted, of how things could now change.
That worry was pushed aside a moment later. His hands on her hips, her hands holding his face close. She couldn’t bear to lose him, to break that contact so soon. From the way Blake pulled her closer, chests touching so that no space came between them, Sabrina knew he felt the same. The spinning in her head was slowing down, calming into a steady flow, a merry-go-round that was about to come to a stop. Soon she’d be able to step off, feet on solid ground and know where she was heading. To Blake. Always back to Blake.
She loved his hair, would always find any excuse to run her hands through it which frequently involved her acting as if there was a spider in it or a wayward piece of leaf. Any opportunity to get a feel for those soft curls. Now she didn’t need to make an excuse. Now she could spend all night with her fingers wrapped around the roots of it if she wanted to. That was, if they ever found the space and time for a night together.
A smile shared between them, faces and bodies still so irresistibly close together that Sabrina kept her fingers curled around his hair to slow herself down, to anchor herself to what was truly happening. It would be so easy to allow herself to be swept up in the moment. To strip down and bare all to each other. But there was time for that. Although the grip she had on slowing down faded as she parted her lips, closing that distance even more. Her focus stumbled, leaning into his touch as his hand moved across her ass. It took every bit of hard-earned self-control to not let out a soft moan. To beg for more. To beg for it all. For no one else had she been so easy to please, so easy to bend to their will. But for Blake, well, everything was different for him. Sometimes, late at night, she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to be with him. To kiss him, hold him, be completely vulnerable with him in the way she never was with the others. She always held back. It’s probably why she very rarely felt truly satisfied.
She’d been waiting for him. Waiting for it to be Blake every damn time. Holding that piece of herself back so differentiate between what she wanted and when she acted out from jealousy.
The squeeze of her ass was going to be her undoing but then his hand was gone. At least one of them was attempting to have some self-control over the situation. That in of itself was impressive after years of waiting. Then again, they’d waited so long, Sabrina supposed and knew that that could wait a bit longer. She certainly wouldn’t escalate the situation further with Addie down the hall and the chance her brothers could come back home at any point.
As they pulled apart, Sabrina feared she would fall over, head now spinning from the rush of it all. Foreheads resting against each other, Sabrina kept her eyes closed, trying to calm down the rushing beat of her heart that would betray every single feeling she had. And she had many. She was freaking out, undeniably so, her eyes were squeezed shut in an attempt to conjure up that image of a merry-go-round slowing down, where she could step off easily and not collapse to the ground. If Blake let go of her she was half certain that she would collapse to a puddle on the ground. But beyond the freak out, Sabrina was trying to hide her giddy excitement. Though there was probably no point in playing it cool, in fact that seemed completely idiotic after just spilling your biggest secret to the boy you loved. At his words, Sabrina slowly opened her eyes, feeling dizzy on her feet and looping her arms around Blake’s neck for extra balance.
The second kiss helped to settle her nerves, confident and sure with what she was doing but it was over before she could get her fill. Before she could satisfy her beating heart. Looking into his gaze, Sabrina’s breathing slowed. In fact, the whole world seemed to come to a complete stop as she listened to him speak. She couldn’t break away from his gaze, chest rising and falling with every breath she took. As his voice hesitated, Sabrina moved her hands, stroking down his shoulders and his arms until she tucked them into the back pocket of his jeans with a coy little smile. “If anything,” Sabrina started, surprised to find that her voice sounded reasonably solid despite the nerves that were running through her body at full speed. “I was put on this Earth for you, since you’re the older one.” It was an attempt at a joke, as they both kept trying to do. They were rarely serious like this with one another. She couldn’t help but try to break some of the tension. Even if that tension was how badly she wanted to kiss him again and again and again. Scrap that, especially if the tension was that.
Sabrina was relatively certain that she was an accident. That she wasn’t meant to happen. She was only loved and cherished for a while because she was the first girl. A little doll to dress up for a while. Then she got bigger. The she started to grow a backbone and tease. She was no longer a pliant little thing who would sit down and look pretty when she was taken out for dinner and put on show. Suddenly she was no longer a happy little accident. She was a mistake. Something to be ignored and forgotten about. Maybe it made sense then. Another bit of fate pushing her towards Blake. Maybe she had been born into her crappy family so that she would find another. So that she would be intrinsically drawn to the boy in front of her. Lifelines beyond breathing.
“I’ll try to be less of a flight risk in future,” Sabrina promised, smile turning slightly sad. If only she could undo that time. Still, she was fairly certain that it would have taken this long anyway. But perhaps there would be less uncertainty between them. She’d caused that. Even though she knew how he worried about being left. It wasn’t like she hadn’t considered it. She had. She’d spent nights afterwards panicked by what her leaving would do to Blake and yet she’d been too nervous to go back and change it. Too worried in case she spilled why she’d left then and there. Revealing everything had felt impossible up until this very night. Shaking her head lightly, Sabrina amended her promise, “I’ll do more than try. I’m not running from you, from us, not again.” That was a mistake she was only willing to make once.
She was desperate to not spiral back down that rabbit hole of leaving Blake and the other boys. She’d lost countless nights of sleep over that decision. Now that the dust was starting to settle and she was coming to terms with why she did it, it was time to slowly move on.
The look of love on Blake’s face sent a pang of longing through Sabrina which felt completely ridiculous when he was right there in front of her, her hands still buried in the pockets of his jeans. Mine. God, that word had haunted her for months. A sentiment she’d never been able to vocalise when she saw him chasing after some girl at a party whilst Sabrina’s grip on her drink grew tighter, paper puckering beneath her fingers. Mine was the thought she had when she’d offered him a hand out of the Pines pool earlier in the summer and he’d pulled her in instead. She’d come to the surface, sputtering and swearing but laughing as she pushed at his chest, fingers tracing his muscles ever so slightly whilst the rest of the pack hurried inside. Mine was how she felt when she walked to her locker in school and found him already there, waiting for her.
She liked to pretend he was hers in those moments. She would take an extra moment in front of the mirror whilst wearing his hoodie, committing it to memory so that she could pretend more often, more easily.
But she was done pretending.
Face splitting wide into one of the grins she seemed to keep reserved just for Blake, where her eyes would sparkle with delight and amusement and a little something more. Pulling her hands out from his back pockets, Sabrina placed them firmly on his chest. Unlike before, she wasn’t pushing him away. No, her fingers tugged on the soft material of his shirt ready to pull him closer. She was relieved he liked the gift, that he even remembered that day. Even more, she was beyond pleased how he’d felt that night. His. What a thought.
“I’ve called you mine in my head every day for the past two years.” Because that realisation had only truly come after Ashton had kissed her and Sabrina had felt nothing but guilt. She’d run away knowing that she felt like she should be with Blake and like he should be with her. His. Hers. Mine. Each other’s. “So as long as I’m yours, you’re mine.” No way was she about to let him walk out that door and kiss someone else. Not after what they’d just shared. The very thought set her teeth on edge, a slight shiver running through her.
“I love you, too.” She told him, moving one hand to cup the back of his neck. She couldn’t keep her hands still, itching for more and more. “I never want to go another month where I’m not with you. I can’t bear to not talk to you again.” Her fingers drummed against the side of his neck but a light smile tugged at the corners of her lips, “I guess I’ll have to add you to my post-graduation road trip itinerary. Although Addie will fight you for the front seat, so you’re going to have to figure out where your morals are for fighting a little kid for shotgun.” Teasing of course. He could drive if he wanted to. Sabrina would be happy to sit in the back as long as they were going in the same direction. She was certainly done with this life of heading in a different direction to him. There would be no more of that.
Still, that earlier worry still tugged from the corner of her mind. “Blake,” Sabrina began, lips pressed together for a moment, “what do we do now?” It was easy to think about what they’d do come June when everyone was heading in different directions. But how would they bring this up to the Pack? How could they turn up to a party and only have eyes for each other? What would people say? How would they act? Sabrina liked to pretend she wouldn’t care but when it came to the Pack, Sabrina still felt like if she stepped out of line Murphy would kick off and whilst saving Jade today probably helped with Ashton, there was still a degree of uncertainty there.
Would it be best to hide this for a while? At least whilst Sabrina and Blake figured out what it meant. It meant everything, of course. But in reality, what did that mean? She loved him. He loved her. They belonged to each other.
This was sensible Sabrina in control now. Whilst they were still so close together that it would be easy to bridge the distance between them and pull Blake into a long, slow kiss, Sabrina knew they needed this conversation. She didn’t want to hide them away, didn’t want to pretend that nothing was between them. But it was hard to suddenly have him, and a possibility of them, in the palm of her hand. They’d always been a pair. Bullshit. But this was another level. She was still petrified they’d mess it up. Even though it was too late for that now. It had been too late the moment he’d picked up her journal.
Neither of them had ever been with someone long term. Suddenly jumping to calling him her boyfriend didn’t feel right. The way she felt for him felt far bigger than that. A soul bond. Two halves one whole. Twin flame and all that crap. Equally, Sabrina didn’t think she could walk around and growl at any girl who looked his way that he was hers without causing alarm. If only Ashton’s parents had still been around. Perhaps they’d have a word for it.
Sabrina just hoped this part of their conversation would go by quickly. She wanted to show Blake his cake and card. Most of all, she wanted to kiss him again.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
76 posts.
19 years old.
ladies man.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Griffin on May 31, 2022 20:55:40 GMT
Blake never claimed to be a man of strong will. He was impulsive and desperate and hasty. He didn’t think before he acted. He just did. If he hesitated, he lost precious time. He’d be left with worry and thoughts he didn’t want to spend the time deciphering. He kept himself distracted. He kept himself busy. He didn’t hold himself back from what he wanted, but he did now. He wanted to burrow deep inside Sabrina’s bones. He wanted to intertwine their souls and weld them together in a way that was irreversible. He wanted to chain her body to his, to lock their hearts together and melt the key. He wanted her. He wanted her in every spiritual and every carnal way. He wanted to strip her bare, wanted to take his time peeling each piece of clothing away from her heated flesh—peppering kisses along each inch of tanned skin as it was exposed. He wanted to devour her, to make her his. He wanted to push so far and so deep and so slow into her core that he wouldn’t ever be able to come back out. He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to do that now.
But he didn’t. He couldn’t. It wasn’t because of Addie, though he would use her as an excuse. It was because he was afraid. Blake was terrified of doing the wrong thing. He was convinced this was still a dream, that he’d fallen asleep on the bed beside Sabrina’s little sister with a feathered boa around his neck and a book in his hands. Sabrina was a spooked horse. One wrong move and she’d sprint out of the pasture and out of sight. He’d never catch her. As badly as Blake wanted to ravage her now, to make up for all of that lost time, he was too damn scared to push too hard too fast and lose her. He waited this long. He supposed he could instill patience just this once to make sure he didn’t fuck up.
And fuck, was that hard.
Focus, Blake. Fucking focus.
A soft laugh buzzed on his lips, a thrumming kind of hum that had his bones shaking. She was right. He was older and therefore she must have been made for him. He liked the sound of that better. He wonders, maybe if his grandparents were still alive if he’d be more religious. He’d look at her as a heaven-sent, as a perfect angel sculpted and polished to slide into the gaps in his chest. He’d praise her name, worship her on his hands and knees. Hell, he might just do that anyway. He studies her then, eyes mapping over the soft curves and slopes of her face this close, a terrain he has already memorized. He doesn’t remember his grandma or grandpa very well. They were killed when he was just five, it’s hard to know what was a memory and what was a dream, but he thinks they would have liked Sabrina. His mom’s opinion has never mattered and never would. Sherri has only ever met Sabrina once. They were still in elementary school, still just kids, and she’d curled her lip up in disgust at the sight of the little girl with dirt stains on the knees of her jeans and mulch in her hair. She’d told her to get out of her house, fingers snagged in the mop of black curls that rested atop his head as she yanked him through the door’s frame and slammed it shut on the girl. She wasn’t physically abusive. She could be rough with him but never hurt him. Maybe he just chose to see it that way. Maybe she was harmful to him and he just neglected to see that. He hated her regardless, then more than ever. Sabrina had looked so hurt the next day, so confused. Blake had to console her, holding her against his side as he smoothed his palm down her arm and promised that his mom was just mean—that they would play at the park or at Jensen’s next time. He told her he was sorry. It wasn’t his fault, but it was his mom. Things had felt wrong for a long time, but he was relentless. He didn’t give her a chance to run from him then. He knows now that he should have always chased her. If his grandparents had been alive, he doesn’t think he’d ever have let her go. He thinks they would have loved her—would’ve let her spend the night and kept her belly full. They would have cared for her. They would have pushed Blake to confess much sooner because they would have known what love looked like. That’s twice now that he’s thought of them. He couldn’t recall the last time they had crossed his mind. The pack didn’t know about them. It was the one secret he’d kept to himself. Maybe it’s because when he thinks of love, he thinks of them. And he’d just confessed his love. It was a relatively straightforward conclusion. All these maybe’s and would have’s. It was pointless to think in rhetorics, but a lot of what Blake did was pointless.
Sometimes he didn’t feel like G.I. Blake, an army soldier bullying through threats and commanding a group of warriors. Sometimes he felt like Space Cadet Blake, an astronaut floating away with his head so deep in the clouds that he didn’t realize how lost he really was. Sabrina was his tether, slowly yanking him back to his spaceship and closing the door behind him. She grounded him, brought his focus back to those hazelnut and coffee and timberwood eyes. He didn’t know why he’d drifted so far away when she was finally right here. It could be the fear that she would regret this. It could only be the fear, he thinks. Part of him was desperate to distance himself from that possibility and he’d allowed his head to float away for a moment. Seconds, really, but it felt like forever. His grandparents' smiling faces faded from his mind as his eyes settled on her lips as they shaped around words he’d been waiting his whole life to hear.
His lips twisted into a burning smirk as her palms pressed against his ass, buried deep in his pockets and urging him forward. That was hot. Fuck, that was so damn hot. He had to will his downstairs brain not to stir, but that was a losing battle. C’mon, he just made out with the love of his life and groped her—there was no way he didn’t have a boner. With his track record and sexual appetite, she had to know that was expected. Still, he kept his hips from brushing against hers, not ready for that kind of contact yet. Not when the conversation was still so serious. He had to keep focus. He couldn’t drift off again. Blake shifted his feet to better ground himself, lips pursed and eyes trained on hers as her words washed over him.
“I suppose you’re right,” he purred, his own fingers flexing where they rested against her hips—pulling at the fabric of her uniform, teasing it up just slightly before letting it drop, “You’re perfect for me. Big man upstairs knew just what he was doing when he dropped you here for me.” He was more comfortable cutting in now that he knew the biggest secret was out. He didn’t fear that he would interrupt and she’d clam up.
“Means a whole lot to hear you say that, Brina,” he said more sincerely, his voice a bit deeper and raspier with emotion. She promised she wouldn’t run. She promised an ‘us’. He grinned at her, palm raising to cradle her jaw as he murmured, “Can’t promise it’ll sink in right away, but damn, I’m going to try to not doubt that.” And he would. He’d be damned if he let her get away again because of something stupid that spooked her.
His eyes widened at the force of her grin, matching it in turn—lips pulled back and teeth glittering in the orange-cast light of her room. It was impossible to not be giddy with excitement, to keep his body still and heart calm. His foot was tapping with his overflow of energy, fingers stroking at her waist and her cheek, and his heart loud in his chest. It was impossible to be still. He would be bouncing if he thought he could get away with it. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and spin her around as much as he wanted to throw her down on the bed and take her right then and there. He couldn’t do either, unfortunately. Instead, he leaned forward as she pulled at his shirt, his left hand moving to join the right as he cupped her jaw and tilted her head back to meet his eyes. Every word that fell past her lips was a melody. It was his favorite song. It was a goddamn symphony. Like Beethoven was resurrected to write the background score to this very scene.
Blake didn’t know if he’d ever really believe it, that she’d wanted him too all this time. That they were both fucking fools in this together. He purred—fucking purred—as she said she loved him too. He’d never hear that enough. He needed her to whisper it into his phone so he could play it on loop when the darkness crept into the corners of his mind. He needed to hear it every minute of every day to keep himself from slipping. Goosebumps scattered under her touch, the burning heat of his skin chilled under the cool of her palm on his neck. He leaned into the touch regardless, unable to stop himself from seeking out every inch of contact he could get. “You’ve always been mine, Brina. At least in my head—or my heart. I don’t know. Both probably. But you’re mine. Can’t go another day without you. I was uh,” he was blushing cheeks deep pink but he didn’t cut his eyes away, “I was gonna actually tell you tomorrow at the party that I loved you. I just, I couldn’t wait anymore.” He moved his hands down her sides, fingers lingering and squeezing until they rested on her hips. “And you better fucking include me. I’d kick her ass in a game of rock-paper-scissors, but I honestly don’t care where I'm sitting so long as I’m with you, Brina. I mean that. I just, I need you. You’re my air and my sunshine and my reason to keep going most days.” And that felt too personal. That felt like too much, but fuck, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and he didn’t want to. She needed to understand how important she was, how invested he was in her. He wasn’t going anywhere. He’d chase her from sea to sea if she wanted to make it tough on him.
His smile faltered as her tone grew serious. No more games or lovey-dovey confessions. What were they going to do now? It seemed so obvious to him, but the way her face twisted in concern had him thinking it wasn’t so simple.
Blake glanced back at the bed, making sure the picture frame was safely off to one side before he moved his palms to her ass and scooped her up. He took the two steps back, the backs of his knees hitting the bed and he plopped down. And fuck, if he hadn’t already been hard, he would have been now as she shifted and settled on his lap—her dress riding up her thighs and flashing that tempting skin at him as he spared a glance down. But he was and he knew she felt it. She looked perfect on his lap. He wasn’t ashamed of it, the blush not darkening on his cheeks as he used the hold he had on her waist to buck up slightly into the plush of her—just quickly, just a taste before he eased her down onto his thighs. He wasn’t an anxious virgin anymore. He could handle a little foreplay without blowing his load—and he certainly would never do so in his jeans like a pre-teen boy.
Besides, this was a serious conversation. There was time for the fun extracurriculars after he’d settled her nerves.
“Baby,” he soothed, feeling confidence surge in him at the pet name. This was his baby. This was his girl. “I mean. I know what I’d like to do,” he started, brows drawn close as he worried they would want different things, “You’re mine. You’re my girlfriend, now. Right?" He hadn't explicitly asked her to be, his voice dripping with doubt now that he realized that. “I’d like you to be,” he insisted, trying to find his footing once more—talking was normally his strong suit, “I’d like to show you off, you know? I’ve waited so damn long to have you, I can’t imagine hiding you, Brina. Besides, Jensen and Murphy already know. The only one who doesn’t is Ashton and it’s only because I knew it would make him feel bad because of what happened. I talked to the others about my crush on you a few times.” And why he was blushing now because he talked about sharing his feelings with his friends and not when she sat on his dick? Yeah, that baffled him too. Anyways. “I don’t think there’s much to decide. Unless that’s not what you want? Because I can’t be friends with benefits, Brina. I love you. I want you to be mine and I want to hold your hand and to have you fall asleep on me on movie nights and wake up with you. I wanna do everything with you,” he shifted his hips for emphasis, never one to be bashful but it felt wrong to mention sex right now. “I can’t—I can’t just go out there and pretend like this didn’t happen,” he bit his lip, looking away then.
But what if that’s what she needed? This was a lot. He’d wanted this his whole life but she ran because of her feelings. Maybe she wasn’t ready the way he was and that wasn’t fair to her. Love was give and take. He couldn’t force her to be ready when they just barely got started.
He was quick to amend, hazel meeting chestnut as he locked his gaze back on hers and squeezed where his hands moved to rest at her hips. “I can try, though. I’d do anything for you. If you need time, I’ll try. But you have to promise you’re just mine, okay? We don’t have to do labels if you’re not comfortable with them, so long as you’re mine. If you need to pretend, I can try, but nobody else.” That he wouldn’t budge on, and he didn’t think she wanted to pursue anyone else, but he had to say it and be sure.
“I can’t promise, Brina, but I’ll do everything I can to do right by you,” Blake was more sincere now than he thinks he’s ever been, “But you know me. I’m a fuck up at best, so,” he shrugged, needing her to know that as much effort as he put it, he may still fail.
But at least he would try. That was better than most anyone else got from him.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
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Post by Sabrina Mets on Jun 20, 2022 22:15:41 GMT
Sabrina wished she could go back a half hour and record this conversation from start to finish. If only so she could re-listen to every confession they’d shared. So that she could print out a picture of Blake’s grin as he matched her joy. Their joy. Them.
The world slipped by in a blur of hands and fingers and sweet words until that heavy cloud drew across Sabrina’s brain. When would she get to be light and free? He was going to tell her tomorrow anyway. This moment had been inevitable. Sabrina felt an overwhelming wave of relief that these were sober secrets. If they’d been speaking under the influence of wolfsbane, she wouldn’t have believed it. She’d have run far, far away from the mess that would have caused. Just like she had before. Always so heavy. So fucking heavy in her heart from everything that had happened. Even whilst she stood there with Blake, unable to break their physical connection she was still tunnelling down and down and down.
She felt like she didn’t deserve the kindness he was showering on her. His reason to keep going. That was guilt running through her blood, bleeding into her bones and casting the world grey for a moment. How could she be? She’d been the one to fuck up and leave. She’d been the reason he ran around town with his pants around his legs. All because she was scared. But- wait. This was just her being scared again. It was fine to be practical, Sabrina, but the scary party was over. They’d confessed. Their hearts were in each other’s hands now. She needed to release the last bit of iron grip she had on hers. She had to trust him. She had to trust that they weren’t about to ruin one another.
Trust. Love. Trust. Love.
For Blake she would.
For Blake, she did.
He’d noticed her panic. Well, he’d picked up on her serious words. The faltering of his smile had Sabrina’s face falling, moving her hands to his cheeks briefly in an attempt to hold the lingering remains of his joy in place. Had she already ruined it? Probably. She could never just relax. Even at Sal’s she was always on the move, making conversation with whatever poor soul had found themselves in the diner or mopping the kitchen because she couldn’t just stay still. Usually because staying still led to those self-destructive thoughts.
But Blake, God bless him. He didn’t back or run away from her worry. No, he did the opposite. He picked her up like she was as light as a feather and that deep-rooted heaviness started to lift just a little. They weren’t so fragile that one wrong word would send them spiralling into nothingness. For a second, Sabrina allowed herself to feel weightless. To feel as if there was no burden, no regret, no lost chances, hanging heavy on her shoulders. This was her chance. Here in these four walls, just the two of them Sabrina could let go of some of that weight. She wouldn’t share it or push it onto Blake but she could push it back and hide it away, lock it deep in a little pocket of her mind. Maybe she’d even give Blake the key to it. For him she would try to be a little less serious. A little less afraid of what ifs and maybes. This was her biggest what if and maybe and she was surviving. No, more than that. She was thriving. She was in love. In his arms, Sabrina studied his face from above for the short moment that she was up in the air. He was so ridiculously handsome, a face that had become chiselled these past few years, dark eyes which reflected the warm lights of the room and a pair of lips which Sabrina wanted to get lost in. She wanted them to explore every inch of her body. To have her quiver and moan as Blake took his sweet time to get to the crux of it. If her eyes turned a little darker, a little richer at the thought of it she didn’t care.
Not when he sat down. Definitely not then. It took every inch of self-control to stay silent. To not moan or fill the gap to his ear and whisper every single dirty thought she’d had about him to him then and there. But she did allow herself to move, to fidget just a little as she settled down. It suddenly felt dangerous to put her hands on him. To allow herself to explore his arms, his chest, to run her fingers through his hair. One bit of prolonged eye contact was going to set her loose. Especially as her dress hitched up a little. If he so much as traced a whisper of a finger over her legs she would unravel. There’d be no more waiting. No more longing and wondering what it would be like. Sabrina’s hands gripped onto his shoulders, fingers tightening ever so slightly as he looked down at her legs. The moment was too serious to make a joke but Sabrina was desperate to say something to cut the tension in the air. And between her legs.
A gasp left her as he pushed up, her hands slipping for a moment before she rebalanced herself, shaking her head slightly, eyes half rolling as a wry smile cross her face. If Blake Griffin was one thing, it was trouble. And boy was he in trouble for what that had done to her insides. With one annoyed flick of her finger against the side of his head, Sabrina settled her hands in her own lap, not trusting herself to let them linger on Blake.
Eyes focused on her own hands, Sabrina smiled quietly at the pet name, cheeks rounding slightly and eyes losing their sexual appetite and shifting to something sweeter and softer. That heady look returned at his next words, shyly she shifted her eyes up to his, feeling a little more coy now than she had just before. But the word girlfriend had her shifting again, wriggling a little on his lap. It felt so serious. So permanent. But also so nothing-y. He was more to her than some silly label and she couldn’t picture seriously introducing him to someone as her boyfriend. The very thought had a laugh wanting to bubble out of her. He was Blake. Love of her life. Protector. Hero. Best friend. Boyfriend felt so weak in comparison. But if it was what made it real to everyone else then... so be it?
She remembered being seven years old, before she knew the other boys, before she had any friends really. Life had been okay. Home was always busy and boisterous but she’d felt loved then. School was lonely and dark. Breaktimes were isolating, finding a quiet corner to hide away in so that she wouldn’t be noticed. Teachers had tried to integrate her with her classmates. They’d call her over to play dress-up with other girls but after trying to play with them a couple of times, Sabrina had found it easier to keep to herself. Always running when social situations got a little hard. It had been a dreary morning, pavement wet and gravel slippy when it had happened. October 16th 2007. Sabrina had been walking to her favourite bench, it was tucked around the side of the gym, a large tree beside it which she could run behind if she heard someone coming. The tree made sure she wasn’t constantly lonely. Its dark bark had heard plenty of her stories, tales from home and titbits from class. The little birds would flock around her feet, picking at crumbs from whatever sandwich she’d ended up with that day. She was alone but she wasn’t lonely. She stayed out of trouble and out of sight from others who might try to take advantage of her. She’d never made it to her bench that day, a boy had slipped on the pavement in front of but had managed to end up on one knee, saving himself from a complete head plant with the ground. She’d frozen, clueless about what to do. The comments had started seconds later, “oh look, he’s proposing,” and “someone wants to marry Sabrina,” the words had clattered around her head, panic slipping in. “No, no,” she’d sputtered, backing away with her hands out. It did nothing to deter the whispers or the giggles from other kids. She hadn’t been paying attention. She’d slipped herself, landing hard on her butt which only sent the kids into fits of laughter. No one helped except for a small tanned hand that reached out. A girl with dark brows and hair in pigtails who shot daggers at those with less than kind things to say. Sabrina had been led away, too in shock to really contemplate what was going on. The girl steered Sabrina towards the gym. Towards Sabrina’s bench. Her brain was too full of childish taunts to ask questions, to tug her hand back or do anything. “Sit,” the girl had said, voice surprisingly firm despite her small stature. “You’re Sabrina and I’m Rose. You played with me and my friends once but then never came back, I thought maybe we’d done something wrong.” Rose’s confidence had faded with each word, voice growing a little quieter. “Sorry if we did upset you! I thought you were nice.” She’d added, pulling on her own pigtails as Sabrina stared blankly up at her. It was as if she’d forgotten how to interact with other people. “Okay... well, bye then.” Rose had said as Sabrina continued to stay silent. “I don’t want to marry him!” Sabrina had finally blurted just as Rose had turned to leave, “I don’t even know who he is.” That had Rose giggling, dropping her pigtails and coming to sit beside Sabrina. “That was Michael, he’s a little weird but it’s okay, Lacey wants to marry him so I think you’ll be fine.” And that had been it. October 16th 2007, the day she’d befriended Rose Harper, the day she’d been ‘proposed to’ and the day her life had become a little less magical when she’d gone home to tell her parents about her new friend. The moment they’d heard her name, the air in the room had shifted. Sabrina wasn’t allowed to talk to Rose after that.
Sabrina remembered the panic of that slip then. Of having everyone looking at her. Of feeling out of control and her control fell apart a little, that panic which she’d told herself to lock down spilling out a little as stress crossed over her face. How would she deal with a boyfriend? With being a girlfriend? She wanted to enjoy this moment, to savour every inch of skin that touched, of every promise and sweet word. But dammit, she was a mess. A choked laugh escaped her at the word ‘crush’. They were still little kids. They were idiots. Blake’s blush helped to settle her panic and she allowed herself to skim her left index finger along his warmed cheeks. She needed to ground herself. To stop her brain from running off down bad news alley and tragic falling out roundabout. She tried to keep her breathing steady as he spoke, picturing all of those moments together, heart fluttering at the thought of simply holding his hand as they walked around. That’s a girlfriend activity, Brina, stop being such a baby, she chastised herself, fingers fidgeting in her lap. No, they would not be friends with benefits, Sabrina couldn’t picture a more heart-breaking outcome. To be with him physically but to not actually be with him would feel like a constant stab in the back. And in the heart.
She was only thinking about herself. Despite herself, despite how much she cared and loved this boy in front of her she was so consumed by her panic to think about how her actions would be affecting him. She had to snap out of this. She had to reset her mind.
The squeeze of her hips jolted her into action, meeting his eyes with a mixture of worry and love pouring out of her own. Nobody else. The thought of anybody else had always made her feel sick. She’d stomached it in hopes that one day someone else would stick. They never had. They were empty and pointless. Her diary littered with names and memories that held no meaning in her heart.
Where could she even start with all that he’d said? She knew a hundred different emotions had cross her mind, many flickering across her face as he’d spoke. He had to know how unsure she was. She wasn’t unsure about him – about them. No, not that. He was the only thing she was sure of. Even if she hesitated over what to call him. But what the hell, as long as she got to slide into bed beside him at night and hold him when she wanted to, that was all she cared about. “No one else,” she confirmed moving her hands to cup his face, “you are mine, I am yours. No one else’s. I’d rather go blind than look at another person like that.” Which was maybe a little extreme but Sabrina meant every syllable. “I’m scared, Blake, I’m scared that we will try this and it will go wrong and that I’ll become someone you don’t want to see anymore.” The last words came out a little wobbly, emotions getting the better of her. “I can’t lose my best friend and my boyfriend in one swoop so you have to promise me that we won’t walk away from each other no matter how tough it gets. Even if it’s just a call once every six months, I need to know that in our future, we don’t forget about each other if everything goes to shit.” Sabrina knew it was an impossible promise but she needed this level of security. As much as she wanted the foggy mornings, the late night car rides (followed by the hook-up in the back seats), the parking lot dates and watching Blake attempt to ice skate she couldn’t sign up to unless she knew she wouldn’t lose him. “I want all of those things, with you. I want to watch you play some basketball and be an overly aggressive cheerleader. I want to walk up behind you and put my arms around you and know that you’re mine.” Sabrina paused, taking a deep breath and looking away, towards the window and the world beyond for a moment.
“Blake, you’re not a fuck up. Not to me. You’re my world. I’m a little new to the idea of being a girlfriend, this has always felt very hypothetical in my mind until I spoke to papa Jenny this morning who, FYI, is going to flip his shit, so I’m sorry if it takes a while to settle in. But I’ve been yours for years so if you want to go around growling that at everyone, be my guest.” Sabrina said, turning her attention back to Blake, an easier smile on her face now. “I know I’ll be doing that to anyone who tries to slide up to you.” Her eyes slid down to his lips. She’d just needed some time to work through. To get her request for a promise out there. To lose him would devastate her. There would be no recovery or enough time in the world to piece her heart and soul back together. She realised then, that last iron grip she’d had on her heart was gone. And so was her patience and tether of restraint.
“Hurry up and agree that you’ll never fully get rid of me so I can kiss you.” Sabrina sighed, hands edging their way to the back of his head. “I love you, Blake, I know I’m scared and that’s probably annoying but you can call me whatever so long as you remain my best friend beneath it all.” She was desperate to close the distance between them, her head slowly dipping its way towards his but she would hold back and give him time to speak.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
76 posts.
19 years old.
ladies man.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Griffin on Jun 22, 2022 0:31:48 GMT
A quiet Sabrina had always unnerved Blake. There was something so unsettling and precarious about her sealed lips and steely eyes. The browns darkened—burnt oaks and bitter coffee. Pages of an old novel crisped under the feather-soft kisses of a flame. Honey goldened where it sat upon a shadowed shelf, forgotten and abandoned. Her eyes were so expressive, a mosaic of tawny notes and chestnut touches. Some day he would tell her that they were his favorite thing about her. Not her plush hips or the curve of her breasts. Nothing she would assume a frisky teen boy would choose. It was her eyes. It was the gentle slope of her lips as they curved upwards at the edges. It was the way she tucked the stray hair behind her ear as it fell out of her ponytail again. It was the pink in her cheeks and the tips of her fingers and the pretty little point of her nose. He wanted to smother each with butterfly kisses, lips gentle and teasing as he peppered them along her eyelids and her rosy cheeks and her nose and her dainty little hands. He wanted to spoil her, to unleash the floodgates that held every ounce of love and affection he had been holding back for years. He was like a giddy puppy, tail wagging and tongue hanging from the corner of his mouth as his favorite toy was finally held within reach. But that silence. The shadows pulling over those caramel and cinnamon and chocolate-colored eyes was like a leash clipped onto his collar, reeling that little puppy a step back from his comfort object.
The few beats after his promise were chilled with her shaky breaths—like a wild stallion, nostrils flared as she fought for breath, and he stilled himself as if to not spook her. A mustang on the prairie, eyes peeled as she spotted a wolf on the hunt. A cornered animal, his paws on her thighs a cage. It was strange how that look hasn’t changed. She’s aged. She’s grown. But those eyes. God, those eyes.
His lips quivered as his fingers reached for her shoulder but curled back into his palm just as quickly. His hand fell to his side, eyes tracing the curve of her silhouette as she turned her back to him. He’d been thirteen, she was twelve. It didn’t snow in California, but the frigid cold made him wonder if tonight it would. Her frame trembled with the force of her withheld emotions; lips pressed into a thin line—he was only able to catch a glimpse as she shot a glare over her shoulder at him. They were in the kitchen of the cabin. It was winter break, Christmas a promise—only a few days away. The pack had gathered for a sleepover, the living room made into a proper den. Pillows and blankets were stacked precisely, a fort—a sanctuary. Ashton’s parents had made a surprise visit to Beacon Hills for the winter holidays, it was the only time they had—the only time that they would. Aunt Jane had made the children an assortment of snacks before she left with Uncle Benny to join Ashton’s parents out to dinner and a show. Marshmallows stacked high in bowls. Hot chocolate had billows of steam rolling over the lips of mugs. Candy canes and gumdrops and cookies and crackers with cheese. The pantry was full, and the house was warm. Ashton, Jensen, and Murphy were setting up the last of the comforters, the couches and tables pushed back to make the floor a large bed for them to rest upon. Frosty the Snowman was idling on the home screen, waiting for someone to hit play. But Sabrina wouldn’t budge. She had made herself at home in the corner where the kitchen counter butted up against the refrigerator. Blake’s hands knotted together at his waist, eyes round with sorrow and confusion as Sabrina refused to acknowledge his calls of her name.
“Brina,” he tried again, rocking on the balls of his feet as she tightened the hold she had on herself, fingertips turned a pale white with how fiercely she was pressing them into her skin, “Please say something.” She didn’t. She wouldn’t. This was not the first silent treatment she had punished him with. She’d make him stand there begging until he presented upon her the correct cause for this. Blake fumbled, throwing his palms up in disbelief as he tried to suss out what was upsetting her. He tapped his foot, eyes trained on the tips of her fingers as he asked, “Was it because I ate the last donut this morning? Because I asked you and you said no.” She shook her head. Girls were weird. They would say no when they meant yes and yes when they meant no and he didn’t have the patience to figure out what she meant each time. But at least she was giving him some kind of indication, even if it was non-verbal. “Uh, did I leave the toilet seat up?” He didn’t think he did and as she shook her head no again, he sighed. He fished deep in his thoughts. What had they done today? He’d picked her up from her house and they rode his bike to Jensen’s house—her little arms tight around his chest as she rode on the pegs of his back tires. His heart had thumped so loudly then, cheeks pink from embarrassment but he blamed exertion. He had hit a few bumps and jostled her. When he asked if that was it, she shook her head again. Nothing else stood out between then and when they went to the park, and it hit him then. “Brina Baby,” he said, voice a mixture of sadness and accusation, “Is this because I didn’t say no to Noelle when she asked to be my partner?” Her shoulders tensed; chin tucked against her chest as she made herself smaller. Bingo. Blake stepped forward then, wrapping his arms around her small body and pulling her back against his chest. She fought his hold, squirming as he nestled his face into the back of her hair. “You silly, stupid girl,” he laughed and she elbowed him the best she could. When they had reached the park that afternoon, a lot of kids from their school had been milling about. One of them had suggested playing team tag and Noelle, a little blonde girl who was in the grade above them, had grabbed his hand and asked if he would be her partner. In a panic, he’d said yes. Sabrina had scowled at him when he’d smiled her way, Noelle chattering on about her brothers and pointing them out where they sat across the park—one with a girl giggling at his side and the other with his nose in a book and shaggy hair creating a brunette halo. She had pulled Jensen’s arm and stomped off, leaving Blake confused but distracted as the little blonde bubbled and chimed around him. Sabrina was always his partner, but he hadn't wanted to hurt Noelle’s feelings when she had seemed so excited to play with him. Blake hadn’t been mean in a long time, he had forgotten how easy it was to say no. He’d come in second. Sabrina and Jensen had won that game. She wouldn’t meet his eye and didn’t ride back with him. His chest had burned when she snuggled against Jensen’s back instead, his own lips twisted down as she ignored him until he’d cornered her. “I didn’t know it would upset you, but I won’t partner with anyone else again. ” he promised and she sagged in his arms, “You’re my girl, B, Always.”
He looked at her now, the panic bright in her eyes—fear and worry overwhelming her. She was still his girl. He wanted to kick himself for not realizing sooner that she’d loved him back, but there was no point in it. He couldn’t change what happened. They were here now, Sabrina shifting on his lap and Blake biting his bottom lip to repress a groan because now really was not the time for his horny, teenage brain to take hold. He had softened in the wake of her silence—of the memory. Body languid and loose as he watched her face carefully. Fear’s slippery fingers were tendrils in the back of his mind, dripping down his spine and dotting his skin with goosebumps. He wanted to be afraid. He wanted to panic. She looked so hesitant, so fucking scared. Blake was not known for keeping his composure when it came to Sabrina. He knew how to keep calm. He knew how to play up reactions. He was an amazing actor. He knew exactly what to do to get what he wanted, but not with her. Everything was so visceral and heightened when it came to her. Blake wanted to push her off his lap and pull her into his chest all at once. He wanted to run and he wanted to stay. He didn’t know what he wanted, but he knew he couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t mess this up. But then she smiled and parted her lips and her melodious voice sang a song to his heart and he felt lighter. He leaned into her touch, chest humming—purring—in pleasure at having her hands on his heated skin. Her words settled upon him, making the anxiety bleed from his tensed shoulders as everything began to make sense, as she promised that there would be no one else. She wasn’t scared of this, of them. She was scared of them ending—she was scared of losing him. Blake couldn’t keep the smile off his lips, hands dancing up from her thighs to rest on the small of her back and press her closer—knocking their foreheads together. Her anxiety was unfounded. It was stupid. Blake couldn't go anywhere else. There's no where else he wanted to be. She was calming down, but he knew how to put her completely at ease. He knew his Brina.
“All I’ve ever seen was you, Brina,” he whispered, lips ghosting over hers as his eyes bored into her cypress and pine swirls, “Promise you that. I’ll do anything to prove it.” His voice was a low, humming sound—chest vibrating against hers where they were pressed together. “I’m not going anywhere. I can’t. Not without you. I swear to fucking God, baby. All I’ve ever wanted was a future with you. I want you as my girlfriend and as my wife,” he let out a laugh, sing-song and bright as he beamed, “If you want to get real fucking weird, my mate. Some stupid, cheesy wolf shit. I don’t care what we call it as long as you’re mine.” He shook his head, forehead rubbing against hers and hair tickling the tips of his ears. He was happy—so fucking happy. He wouldn’t let her fears sever them again.
Blake mulled over his next words, eyes falling shut for a moment. There was no sense in hiding anything, in sugar coating how obsessed he’d become with the idea of her. This was all he’d ever wanted. His whole life had been planned around her—whether it be with her or pissing her off anyway he could for leaving him. Part of him wanted to be chuffed at her accusation, the idea that he would be the one to leave when she’d done that first. Blake couldn’t. He wasn’t capable of abandoning anyone. He was too dependent. He was too needy. He’d cling to his pack until they were sick of him. He would stay loyal until his last breath, but he knew that the sentiment wasn’t always returned. He knew that he was disposable. His dad. His mom. All of those people who had claimed to be his friend. Sabrina. Everyone could leave him, but he couldn’t do the same.
She wasn’t the one who should be afraid of a falling out.
He didn’t say that. He couldn’t. As his eyes opened to find hers, he knew he could never say that again.
“You’re my girl,” he promised, hands smoothing down her uniform to rest upon her hips, pulling back just enough to catch her full face, “I don’t think I could leave you if I tried. You’re stuck with me, Brina. I promise you.” And it was the only promise he knew he’d never break. She was it for him. He knew that in his bones.
He softened at her words, melting into her as she promised he wasn’t the fuck up he thought he was. He didn’t believe it. Blake knew he would mess this up one way or another. It was inevitable. He couldn’t think about that now, though. He didn’t want to ruin this happy moment.
A lazy chuckle thrummed in his chest as she mentioned Jensen, shaking his head as he chimed in, “Jenny-boy isn’t going to know what to do with himself when he realizes he doesn’t have to play matchmaker anymore. God, maybe he’ll sort out—,” Ashton’s name almost left his lips, but he caught himself. Sabrina didn’t know about their alpha’s rendezvous with Erin Little. It wasn’t a secret he could tell her. He had watched her befriend Jade over the months, eyes tracing her smiles as she taught the girl how to craft the perfect pie and the way she smoothed her hand over Jade’s lifted skirt to help her keep her modest after Ashton’s wandering hands had gotten the fabric tucked beneath the fabric of her panties. Panic swelled in his chest as he realized that this would come to light one day and Sabrina would learn that he had let it happen. He feared the consequences, but couldn’t dwell on that now. “Murphy,” he finished after a beat, playing it off with a laugh, “He’s been hanging out with that redhead, Jamie any time he isn’t with us or in his fucking cave of a room.” And fuck, this was not what they should be talking about but he couldn’t help himself. Sabrina was his friend first, his best friend.
He shook his head, smile easy and charming as he moved his right palm to cradle her chin, turning her head up because even sitting upon his lap, she still had to look up to meet his eyes. “But fuck all of that right now, Brina Baby,” he purred, eyes darkened as he shivered at her incessant need to get her lips back on his. The feeling was mutual. “You make me fucking feral,” he teased, leaning down to kiss her swiftly, biting at her lower lip and dragging it from her an inch before letting go. Heat churned in the pit of his stomach as he watched her lip plump and jiggle as it settled back in place. “I’ll growl. I’ll be all pissy and possessive. I’d kill for you, baby. Ain’t nothing I wouldn’t do,” he promised, his mouth a whisper down the column of her neck as he peppered kisses on her warm skin—the taste of salty sweat and lavender mingling on his tongue.
“You can have all the time in the world. I’d wait forever for you,” he murmured, kissing at the tender spot where her neck met her shoulder, “Not annoying. Kinda cute.” He tightened his grip on her chin, tilting her head away so he had better access at her throat. “I want it all. I want you so bad, Brina,” he growled in between kisses, shifting his hips as his jeans grew tight, “Want you to get fucking nasty with girls who come onto me. Want you to show them who I belong to.” He knew he needed to calm down, to pace himself but she was so intoxicating.
“Fuck, Sabrina,” he hissed, pulling back to meet her eyes—his own blown with lust, “You’re mine. My girlfriend. My best friend. Want every single piece of you and don’t ever wanna let go. I promise. Promise to be good to you—-to be your good boy, baby. Promise.”
And yeah, his dick was talking. He was gone, brain a swirl of her pretty, pornographic scents and the promise of forever with the only girl he’s ever loved.
“Now fucking kiss me, Brina. Need you,” he groaned, his hand dropping to grasp at her thigh—slipping just an inch under her uniform to brand her angelic skin with his touch. Blake was a needy bitch and he wasn’t ashamed. He couldn’t be around her.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
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Post by Sabrina Mets on Jul 11, 2022 21:34:35 GMT
Sabrina wanted to wriggle away from his gaze and the intensity in it only because it was the most vulnerable she’d ever felt. Foreheads resting against one another and nowhere else to look but in each other’s eyes. Eyes which she could probably paint from memory for all the hours she’d studied them. Half the time she’d look away when his gaze met hers, eyes flicking away and pretending to look busy but the other half where she allowed herself to linger under his focus for just a few seconds, she’d take it all in. The intensity of their dark depths but the warmth that she swore sometimes was there just for her. She could guess that to be true now. The very thought had her heart swelling, trying to creep ever so closer with her lips whilst letting him talk. Words that set her skin on fire in all the right ways.
Mate.
The word had a laugh – more giggle than anything – cracking out of her, hands tangling further into his dark hair. She wanted to devour him then and there. To cut the continuous rambling and get to the action. Her tether of control was well and truly gone and as his words reassured the frayed edges of her heart to the point where all thought of sense was pouring out of her.
His girl. Finally, after all these years his and only his. And he was only hers. She was a little fearful that if a girl stepped too close to him in these first few days that she’d slice their throat but hey, that was a thought for later. What was a more gripping thought was the beat of silence when Blake started to talk about Jensen. Sabrina froze for a second, hands loosening their grip ever so slightly from the back of his neck. Head tilting to the side just a little as she waited for what words were going to fill that gap. Murphy, right. Sabrina’s head stayed cocked to the side for a moment before she shook herself of the growing feeling of unease inside of her. Still, the thought of Murphy seeing someone did have her contemplating, tongue licking the outside of her lip as she mulled it over for a second. Murphy with someone, she couldn’t really picture it. Couldn’t picture him being loving and pulling someone in for a hug when they needed it or happily lying awake at night to listen to their woes. But from what Sabrina had seen of Jamie, which wasn’t much despite all of their mutual friends, she didn’t think Jamie was the type to do that either. So maybe they were perfect for each other or, “I think they’re just friends, come on. Ashton getting a girlfriend is one thing don’t be throwing Murphy into that category of ‘blowing Sabrina’s mind with their commitment’ as well.” She replied because she couldn’t stay silent on her opinion on that. On their friends. Their pack. Who, and Sabrina’s breath hitched a little at the thought, would have to find out about this.
With his hand on her chin, Sabrina was thoroughly distracted once again, eyes near sparkling with anticipation even if she’d been the one to kick up a bit of a fuss and slow down the whole process of their lips being able to be on one another each other. The way he said his pet name for her then had her hips moving just a little, letting him know how ready she was to have this conversation be over. To show each other how much they belonged to one another through actions instead of words. She’d taken the biggest action possible years prior by leaving them all without a goodbye. Whilst she knew she could never undo that, she was certain there were ways she could show Blake just how serious she was.
Feral, yeah that word was going to haunt her for the rest of her days but there was no truer feeling within her as he kissed her in such a swift way that she nearly growled as he pulled back before she even had time to react feeling her lower lip act on its own accord. Her eyes shuttered closed as his lips moved to her neck, hands slipping down to his shoulders. “You’re not allowed to steal my word, Blake,” she mumbled, the tone whiney because the teasing was truly getting to her and even though she knew she should be saying more it was becoming increasingly difficult to string a coherent sentence together. “I’ve had a lot of time to be feral with myself,” she added before laughing a little at the double meaning in that sentence, “you’re all I want, forever.” She managed to get out, fingers digging into his shoulders just a little as he hit a particularly sensitive spot close to her ear.
With every press of his lips and that darn shift of his hips, Sabrina had lost all sense of reality, drowsy in her desire for him. Gone was the self-destruction mixed with the desperate need for self-preservation. Now was a bit of living. Living and loving as she moaned a little at his words, scanning his face lazily, feeling as if she were caught in a dream. “I promise to not run away again. I swear on my life I won’t leave you. I was scared and I was dumb and it won’t happen a second time.” The words came out a little scrambled as she looked into the swirling depths of his brown eyes, seeing the lust and longing in there and knowing it was a mirror image of her own.
“I love you, you’re mine only, only, only,” the words trailed off, muffled as Sabrina finally closed the distance between them, pressing her chest against his as closely as she could unable to spare a hands width between them. Her lips parted his, noses knocking together as she rushed with her actions, all pieces of patience gone and forgotten. Could Blake really blame her when the feeling of his hand beneath the hem of her dress was driving her thoughts wild as she pushed forward ever so much so that his hand would slip a little higher.
They could talk about timings and when to tell the others later, right now Sabrina only had Blake on her mind, a single driven thought to have him be hers in every way possible. Her tongue poked its way into his mouth then, eager to explore further as one hand travelled down from his shoulder, running along the hard planes of his stomach to bunch at the bottom of his shirt. Clinging to him. Terrified now to let go. To let this moment shatter. But it was a new kind of terror. One filled with desire and excitement. So not terror at all. Anticipation for all that was to come. For all those moments they could have together now that they were together. How, how was this real life? This morning she’d been trekking through the preserve with no idea how the rest of the day would go. She couldn’t make this up. There was too much darkness in her life to call it a fairy-tale but Blake was certainly her prince, her one true love that would save her from the big bad if she was ever stolen away. And she knew she would fight tooth and nail for him. There wasn’t a magma field she wouldn’t crawl across to get to him. There wasn’t a rip current deadly enough to stop her from reaching him in the middle of the ocean. Anything, anything for him now. Because it wasn’t just for him. It was for her as well.
She’d kidded herself for months that she’d done any of this because of Addie. It was all because of Sabrina and Blake and her stupid, stupid fear which now seemed so irrelevant.
All of it so irrelevant except for the two of them on the edge of her bed.
Releasing her hold on his shoulder before pulling her lips back from his, Sabrina made herself take a few deep breaths, brushing a loose curl away from Blake’s forehead. “I’m very conflicted between doing everything I fantasised about right here right now or,” and Sabrina cast a glance toward the cake box just then, “or giving you some cake.” Sabrina couldn’t keep her hands still, the one which had been clutching the bottom of his shirt now snaking its way under the material, hand against his bare chest in ways she wouldn’t have dared to indulge in before. Her spare hand was lazily running its index finger along his jaw, down his neck and back again as she contemplated her options. “But then you’ll be all grapey so...” and that was all the consideration she needed before pressing a kiss to the side of his jaw and moving slowly down to his neck where her lips lingered a little, sucking on the skin just so. Even if she left a mark it wouldn’t last, major drawback of werewolf healing in Sabrina’s opinion.
This close she could smell every desire mixed with his cologne and the scent he’d had since they were kids which she’d had to fight the urge to not cry over whenever she entered a classroom he’d been in just before during all those months apart. She knew so much about him except for this, this intimate side where she felt completely unsure and unprepared for what to expect even though she’d had a fair amount of practice in the meantime. So maybe it was better to let him lead, with one final pulse of her lips against his neck, Sabrina pulled back ensuring she withdrew her hand from his stomach as well. “Your call, me or the cake?” The question was given with a smirk because she knew what his answer would most likely be but it was still fun to give him a choice.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
76 posts.
19 years old.
ladies man.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Griffin on Jul 12, 2022 19:54:02 GMT
Cheesy as it may be, her laugh was music to his ears—a lovely melody burrowing deep in his chest and was committed to memory. It was a song, a cheerful tune that he’d play on repeat as he rested his head on his pillow, hoping for dreams of Sabrina and her soft touches and lavender scent. He’d cherish that sound. He’d work day in and out to get another and another and another to pour out of her like a symphony meant only for him. Blake loved her. Every inch, every whisper, every caress. He loved Sabrina and her pouty lips and feather-soft hair and hot chocolate on a cold winter’s day eyes. The tips of her fingers and the curl of her toes as she pushed them under his thigh on a movie night, desperate for the wealth of warmth he offered. The swell of her chest as it rose and fell with panted breaths and the scrunch of her nose when something sour came to rest upon her tongue. Sabrina was his world, his beginning and his end. His alpha and omega. She was everything and his heart couldn’t be contained in his chest as he held her in his arms now. His cheeks were deep red, and his eyes glazed—the rhythmic pulsing of his heart a loud thump, thump, thump ringing in his ears. All he could see was her. All he could taste-feel-smell-hear was her.
Blake was hers. Wholly and completely hers.
If Sabrina’s head tilt hadn’t been so damn cute, Blake may have panicked at her hesitation over his pause before Murphy’s name—but it was so damn cute, and his heart skipped a beat. A lock of hair spilled across her forehead at the motion, having slipped out of her ponytail when he’d manhandled her—whether that be during their kiss or when he sat her on his lap, he didn’t know. It would have worried him if she took longer to get back on track, but she hadn’t derailed the topic to investigate further, and he couldn’t be more thankful. He wasn’t ready for that talk. Not with Sabrina. Not with Ashton. Not with Jade. That heartfelt talk he’d shared with her in his car before Eli’s party had rocked him. He’d kept his distance the best he could from Jade without raising alarms, blaming Ashton being protective on the arm’s length he kept between them, but that wasn’t the case. He couldn’t stomach being around her. Blake could be an asshole sometimes, but this? He was too soft for this. Jade was all smiles and rays of sunshine, and he couldn’t help but be a cloud around her, desperately holding onto his little white puffs to keep them from raining down on her. He couldn’t handle lying to her. Even if he hadn’t been explicitly told about the affair, even if he’d never seen it—scents don’t lie and neither do his ears. He’s heard Erin’s soft moans and her whispered words. He has held his pillows over his ears and shoved in earbuds blasting music. But he can’t forget those soft-spoken promises. He can’t forget the slick slapping noise of skin on skin as Ashton growled and Erin gasped. It rocked him to his core. It shattered the idea he had of his alpha as the almighty man. Men didn’t do this. His best friend wasn’t supposed to be like this.
But maybe he’d never really known Ashton.
Ashton had been a fleeting presence. Summers since he was nine and one Christmas break was all he’d seen of the boy until his parents’ passing. Living with him had once been a dream, but it was anything but. A rancid nightmare. A walking terror. Blake was on eggshells and shimmying over tripwires in his own home, but he didn’t complain. He couldn’t. Like Murphy, Ashton was his saint. His saving grace. It was easy to overlook sins when they belonged to the hands who fed him. Ashton was his house and his home and his best friend. He was the shoulder he leaned on and the arms that held him. It wasn’t so cut and dry. As badly as he wanted to right this wrong, as desperate as he was to alleviate this weight on his chest, he couldn’t. He didn’t like what Ashton was doing. He didn’t like lying. But he lived under Ashton’s roof. He was in Ashton’s pack. To speak up was to lose everything and yes, he cared for Jade. She was sweet and kind and so undeserving of what Ashton has done, but Blake couldn’t choose her over himself. He’d have nowhere to go. Sabrina couldn’t take him in. Maybe Eli, but that would be the ultimate betrayal. After what happened at the party? If Blake turned to Eli for shelter, he’d burn that bridge to embers. He didn’t know what to do. He was selfish—not like Ashton, but selfish all the same.
Blake was at a loss and he needed so badly to talk to someone, but he was terrified of voicing this. He had to, though, or he'd burst at the seams with guilt and betrayal. Jensen. After his party, he’d talk to Jensen.
That was for later. God, he couldn’t believe he wasted even a second thinking about that situation now—when he finally had Sabrina all to himself, shifting herself on his lap and causing him to groan at the tease of friction.
All he could offer was a grunt of agreement to her comment about Murphy’s love life. Later. They could delve into that later. The amount of time the pair was spending together was alarming and the fact that they came to Eli’s party together was a major red flag, but Blake knew better than to press Murphy on this.
His pupils were blown when he met her gaze, shifting and trembling beneath her at that. “It’s a good damn word, baby girl,” he purred, teasing ever higher under her dress as he rocked his hips forward, “The perfect word.” And it was. Feral. Fucking rabid and foaming at the mouth for each other. Like the proper mutts they are. He’d have his tongue lolling out of his mouth if he could get away with it, but he settled for digging his nails gently into her soft skin at the implication of her words. His lips parted around a silent gasp as her own nails dug at the skin of his shoulders, shivering in delight at the feeling. Blake, as big and strong and intimidating as he liked to pretend he was, was a switch. He liked being in control. He liked dominating and ravaging and pinning someone down as he took what he wanted. But he also liked being dominated and ravaged and pinned down by someone as they took what they wanted from him. He liked pleasure and didn’t care how he got it. He wanted to hold Sabrina’s hips down and feast upon her while she squirmed beneath him, hands ripping at his hair as the stimulation overwhelmed her. He wanted her to tie his hands to the bed posts and straddled his hips, riding him until he begged for breath—begged for permission. He wanted every dirty, nasty, loving thing that they could concoct. He wanted her and only her.
“You think about me,” he couldn’t stop himself from asking, voice husky and rough and needy, “All those times on your own, did you think about me?” Because he did. He thought about Sabrina. Hand on himself or pretending another girl was her. It was always her. It scared him sometimes how obsessive he could be over her, but she was his whole life. She was the one. He wasn’t fucking crazy. He’d let her go before, and yeah, his coping mechanisms hadn’t been therapist approved, but he hadn’t done any crazy Joe Goldberg shit. He could be worse than fantasies and undying loyalty.
He didn’t expect an answer, the conversation already moving forward and to a more serious topic. He sobered up at her promise, cooling down as he let the words wash over him. He wanted to believe her, and maybe the majority of him did, but that small little bit couldn’t believe her sincerity. Part of him would always worry and fret—would always double check that she was in step with him and that her side of the bed was still warm when he awoke and she wasn’t there.
She loved him only. He had to hold onto that. That had to be enough to wash the worries away.
He hoped it was.
His cowardice has consumed him, has soiled so many opportunities. He had to be better than this.
Her kiss wiped his slate clean, numbing his fear and silencing his thoughts. His palms moved up her thighs, under her dress as they rounded the curve of her legs to settle on her ass—fingers teasing at the silky fabric of her underwear as his tongue danced with hers. Her taste was addictive. Everything he thought it would be and more. Subtle notes and fruity highlights, but so overwhelmingly her. So Sabrina and so perfect. He kissed her with everything he had, as if it was an audition—as if she would change her mind if he didn’t provide the performance of a lifetime. Want and need and desire poured from his lips into her awaiting mouth, so desperate for her to understand exactly how he felt.
A sticky string of spit hung between their mouths, like Charlotte’s web weaving a story for others to read. He licked his lips, hesitant to sever that connection but knowing he needed to lean back and catch her eye if he wanted any chance at listening to what she was saying. He preened under her attention, loving the feeling of her hands in his hair—even if it was only to move a loose strand back into place. He groaned—at her words and at her touch, leaning into the chill of her fingers as they tiptoed up his defined abdomen and arching into the heat of her lips scorching a trail down his neck.
“That’s not fair,” Blake whined, cheeks a rosy hue and eyes squeezed shut as he pressed closer and closer to her, hands pulling at her bottom until she was as flush as she could be against him. His hips bucked up, rubbing against her heat as he mulled over her cruel choices. “Of course I want to choose you,” he groaned, nails scraping down her curves just shy of painful before his fingers crawled back up to her panty-line, “But I want to do it right, Brina.” He leaned back as she did, appreciating the lack of contact as it made it easier to think but hating it just as much because he never wanted to be even this far from her.
He traced her smirk, his own lips in a wobbly smile—just barely keeping the pout from his lips as he cupped her jaw and tilted her head back enough to catch his eye. Sabrina never felt small to him. She had such a large presence, both in personality and in his life, but now? She seemed so petite, settled in his lap and still needing to lean back to meet his gaze. So small and pliable—stop, focus. Bad Blake.
“I want to do this right,” he repeated, forcing himself to one train of thought, “I don’t want to rush because Addie could wake up and I don’t want to do it here. I want it to be special, Brina. Roses and somewhere nice and I want to take you on some cheesy date. I want it to be my first time making love.” He searched her eyes, knowing his own reflected want and she hoped she appreciated this incredible display of restraint because it would not happen again. “We have time for quickies later,” he promised, smirking slightly before his lips melted into a more sincere smile, “But I want to take my time with you for our first time, Sabrina,” and her name meant he was serious, he was pulling out the big guns, “I need to make sure you know just how special you are to me and I can’t do that right now.”
And God, that pained him. He wanted to fuck her stupid right here and now, but that wouldn’t be fair to either of them and certainly not to poor Addie who would inevitably walk in.
“ ‘sides,” Blake grinned, all charm as he leaned back in, “You wouldn’t want to traumatize your baby sister with your moans. Cause I promise you there ain’t no way you’d be able to keep quiet.” And he hated that she probably knew the truth in that, that at those parties she’d hear other girls cry out his name.
But never again.
It was only her now. Blake and his Brina Baby until the end of the line.
“And I cannot believe you,” he chastised, squeezing her ass roughly as he laughed, “Grape is the best fucking flavor. ‘course I want cake first so I can lick the taste out of your mouth.” He winked at her then, ducking into her space and sealing his lips over hers to savor this last, untainted taste of pure Sabrina.
He couldn’t believe he was saying no to sex. It wasn’t him—well, it wasn’t who he had been. He was slowly finding his way back to the Blake he’d been before she left and God, it was a guilt-churning and remorseful fucking journey, but he was happy for it. He hadn’t realized how truly miserable he’d been until Sabrina was standing before him and trying to find familiarity in his face.
He was going to do this right. Blue balls be damned. He’s waited this long, what was another few days.
Pulling back, he smiled down at her, wiggling his brows as he teased, "Cake time, woman. Before I lose my cool and bend you over right here." And he would. He was barely keeping himself in line as it was.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
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Post by Sabrina Mets on Nov 29, 2022 21:07:19 GMT
There was the thickest haze in Sabrina’s mind, made up of only one all-consuming, cloying thought. A thought that was anything but innocent. Her head was made up of images, thoughts and sounds of the two of them together, relaying memories and fantasies she’d conjured up when the nights were long and dark and she needed some kind of escape. Even apart, he’d been her refuge. Her breath was a gasp at his question, a pink shyness creeping into her cheeks as he asked her so directly what was on her mind during those nights alone. The word yes was on the tip of her tongue but dammit, she was nervous to admit that yes, of course she did. Even these past few months when they’d been back in each other’s lives, her thoughts had a way of drifting off when her hands inched beyond the waistband of her pants.
She didn’t care to admit how many times thoughts of him had crept into her mind when she was in bed with another guy. She’d squeeze her eyes shut, allowing images to fill in the black empty slate it presented. Images of the guy mere inches from her face. Finally. After all this time he was the one she was actually with.
And that kiss. And those hands. God, if she hadn’t been in love before, she would be now. She wanted more and more and more. His hands everywhere. His tongue licking every inch of her body whilst she squirmed and moaned out his name as desire shook her entire being. The feel of his hands beneath her was driving her insane, vision going blurry even with her eyes shut and that haze just grew thicker and thicker. Soon she’d be blind and oblivious to anyone else or anything else in this room. A deadly position to be in. But every second shared between them seemed to strengthen that bond, a tether between the two of them glowing bright and building link after unbreakable link between their hearts and souls.
Even when she pulled back she felt that connection between them. One mind. One heart. One soul. Despite that, that distance was too damn painful and too far. Any gap or space between them felt like a stab to the heart now. She wasn’t sure she’d ever let him walk out that door or be apart from her for more than 30 seconds again. Her skin felt ice cold wherever it wasn’t touching him. An ache building beneath the surface which would only be healed by the palms of his hands or the soft plush of his lips. Sabrina’s lips tightened around his neck as he pulled her even closer, feeling every inch of him through the thin layer of her underwear and the material of his pants. She knew he must have been able to feel, sense, smell the true level of her desire with so little between them. With guys before she’d been embarrassed, not wanting their egos to grow and think they’d won her over when really she was just eager to be under anyone, not them as an individual. Right now with Blake, Sabrina wanted him to know. She wanted to understand how far he’d take this without even taking off a piece of her clothing. How far they could push their restraint. How long they could hold off for.
For Sabrina, she would wager another minute or so before she was begging Blake for more. For everything.
She had to pull back and so did he. Otherwise things were about to get animalistic and she feared for the safety and stability of her bed after.
The longer she looked at him, the less she was able to maintain even this minor distance between them. Ducking her eyes down, her smirk fading a little, a sigh of relief exited her at the feeling of his fingers on her face. This, this inability to not touch him was going to be exhausting and all consuming. But who cares, she’d had years to sleep.
Meeting his eye, Sabrina’s smiled turned a little shy again. Back to being that girl who had first laid eyes on Blake and felt a little enamoured - a feeling, which at the time, only lasted about five minutes. Now it felt like it would last forever as she was caught under his gaze, chin held up by Blake’s hand. Utterly his.
She kept quiet even though ten different arguments for why they didn’t need to wait and why she didn’t want roses to make it special when it would be special because it was him popped into her head. Part of her mellowed though and whilst her desire was still at an all-time high, that too was dropping as her thoughts turned to softer, sweeter things. Movie nights for the two of them. Surprise flowers and kisses by lockers. Coffee dates in the morning. Little moments just for the two of them where she could finally relax and allow herself to be truly comfortable in his presence as that pressure to hide how she felt was gone. She could be open and honest for what felt like the first time ever. That thought alone had a smile pushing its way onto her lips. Fine, she could wait because there would be hundreds - thousands - of moments like this in the future. But their first time would only occur once. Rushing it with, ew, Sabrina’s face scrunched up, the chance of her sister walking in, was probably not the ideal circumstance.
“Damn you for caring about me, Blake,” Sabrina murmured, eyes fluttering shut for a moment because she really needed a moment of not looking at him to be able to focus properly. Cake, she reminded herself, trying to change her thoughts to baked goods rather than how good Blake looked… and felt… and smelt… and tasted, and dammit, Brina. She was going to have to get him to stand in the opposite corner of the room to her to be able to maintain pure and innocent(ish) thoughts.
Thankfully, Blake seemed to be equally struggling with his decision if his words were anything to go by. “That’s a good point, especially because I hate being quiet,” she responded, flicking her eyelids open and letting every filthy thought flicker across her irises as she refused to look away from his gaze any longer. If he wanted to rile her up by consistently grabbing her ass, fine. But she could play that game right back even if she agreed with his sentiment.
She was definitely going to lose this game.
Her ability to tease or be teased only lasted so long before she got impatient with it.
A fact Blake was going to learn very soon as he kissed her again. She was melting, her body melding into his as her arms looped around her back of his neck, holding him in place for as long as she could because as soon as she moved off of his lap, this perfect moment between them would be over. She wasn’t ready for that just yet.
As she sensed him moving away, she loosened her hold just ever so slightly. Not allowing herself to completely let go. A growing nub of sadness was blooming inside of her for all the mistakes they’d made, all the hurt they’d inflicted on themselves because they just couldn’t be fricking honest with one another. Despite his humorous words, there was only one word that bubbled past her lips, “stay,” she asked, it coming out a little more wobbly that she would have liked. Shaking her head to try to make herself speak normally, she continued, “stay here tonight, with me. Please,” her hands moved to his shoulders, hating that she felt she needed to ask. She’d always been the one to up and leave guys in the middle of the night. But Blake had been the one to slip away from her side when she’d fallen asleep, head on his shoulder before. “I promise to keep my hands to myself,” she added, “I’ll even feed you cake with a little spoon if it makes you happy.” If it guaranteed he stayed. The damage waking up to him not being there would have… her heart shuddered at the thought. She’d have made a joke about allowing him to eat off of her, wherever he wanted it, if her heart had squeezed itself so tight with the conjuring image of a cold bed.
Stay.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
76 posts.
19 years old.
ladies man.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Griffin on Dec 9, 2022 4:26:40 GMT
This was impossible, he realized. There was no way—not on this planet, not in this universe—that he’d be able to keep his hands (to himself wasn’t the right phrase because his palms were actively searing their imprints onto her ass) from exploring every inch of her. He could feel how wet she was, soaking through her pretty little panties and dampening the front of his jeans. He wasn’t fairing much better, desire pooling in his boxers where it was drooling from his tip. Blake was a mess. He was a wreck. He was burning up where their skin met and freezing where it didn’t. There had to be some magic word, some kind of switch he could flip that would grant him the restraint he so desperately needed—that would help him keep his sudden vow of abstinence. He knew it would be special regardless of how it went down because it was them, but he needed it to be something more genuine than a quickie. He needed her to know that she meant more than the others, that she was worth the wait. He wanted to take his time lavishing her with attention—with kisses and licks and tentative touches. He wanted to learn the shape of her body. He needed to know where those secret little spots that made her moan and cry and squirm hid. Blake needed to know everything—and he’d thought he did. He thought he’d filled enough mental encyclopedias to cover all there was to know about Sabrina, but it wasn’t all encompassing. There was this—this secret, dirty part about her that he had yet to uncover.
But he had to wait.
Blake wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he caved now. As desperate as she made him (and fuck, the teasing—he could almost hear what she sounded like, his ears pleading to just be blessed with her not being quiet), he had to hold firm on his stance. He groaned, fingers gripping the soft plush of her upper thighs a little tighter. It was a fight—a battle, really, or perhaps a full-fledged war at this point—to keep his hips from lifting off the bed and grinding against her heat. God damnit. Where was his fucking will-power? Where was his cool and calm charm? He batted his lashes at her, lips trembling and toes tapping at the pure fucking lust thriving in the wealth of bronze and copper flecked in her eyes. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t keep still.
And then she had to go and whimper something like that. So soft and earnest and a God’s honest, damn near plead. Blake melted.
Stay. Like he could say no.
Stay. Like there was anywhere else he’d rather be.
Stay. Like she could get him to leave.
He wanted to laugh at what she’d said, at her attempt at a joke, but he could hear the desperation in her words and couldn’t find it in him to do anything more than answer sincerely. He pulled her waist infinitely closer with one palm—moving it to the base of her spine as the other lifted to cradle her chin oh so gently. His eyes danced between her own, a smile tickling the edges of his kissed-pink lips as he promised, “I ain’t going anywhere, Brina.” His voice was hushed, a secret little whisper for just her. He hadn’t planned on leaving her alone. How could he? How could he go home tonight and curl up in his bed alone when he knew what her lips felt like against his own? How could he fall asleep without the lullaby of her breathing and the heat of her body against his side? He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
“I’ll stay,” he reassured, needing to say it—needing her to know without a doubt that he wouldn’t sneak off this time, “But we both know you won’t keep your hands to yourself.” He laughed then, grinning so brightly that his cheeks burned. Blake didn’t hate that idea. He said they couldn’t go all the way, but nothing was stopping them from other acts of exploration. He shivered in anticipation. The taste of her on his tongue, the way she’d feel squeezing down on his fingers—like Hell he was leaving.
“I think I’ll take you up on the cake, though,” he hummed, his cheeks flushed a hot shade of pink as it settled in that even now, with how horny and wound up they were, she still remembered his preference in silverware. Sabrina was perfect. He’d never be able to say it enough. He’d never be able to put it into proper words. She was sunny rays peeking through a cloudy sky. She was a comforting warmth blanketing him. She was a familiar face and a cautious hand and a shoulder to lean on and she was everything. She was his everything.
Blake studied her then, feeling himself cooling down as his thumb carefully brushed over her flushed cheeks. He loved her. This moment right now was all he wished for so long and now it was real and it was finally sinking in. His hips shifted, settling further into the bed and giving a breath of space between them. This was more than sex. More than desire. This was her needing him and he didn’t want to mess that up.
“I love you,” he whispered because he could say that now. He couldn’t get enough of it. He loved her so fucking much and he’d never be able to tell her enough. “More than you know, Brina. And I—I need so badly to get this right,” he scoured her eyes, looking for any hint that he was mis-stepping, “I don’t wanna scare you off by being too much right now. So know that I want you real bad, but I—”
He shrugged then, not sure how to continue. Biting his bottom lip, he pushed his hand higher up her back until it settled in the middle. “You’re my best friend and I don’t want to fuck up and lose you. So I think, just for us, I think we should just let this all kind of sink in before doing something like that,” Blake said earnestly, tears pushing at the back of his eyes as he whispered, “I can’t fuck up with you again.”
If they had sex now and she decided tomorrow that she regretted it? He didn’t know what he’d do. He was scared. He was terrified to rush this.
As badly, as desperately as he needed to be inside of her and finally complete the puzzle that was them by slotting that final piece in place, he was petrified that he’d be left with an empty hole come morning.
But that was just Blake, wasn’t it? Always left behind. Too fucking pitiful to be kept around.
Sabrina wouldn’t do that again, would she? She promised, but Blake—he couldn’t believe it. Not yet.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
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Post by Sabrina Mets on Jun 5, 2023 21:48:06 GMT
She couldn’t be weak in this house. Not in front of her brothers who would jump at the opportunity to tear her apart. Not in front of Addie who couldn’t know that Sabrina was ever afraid or that she was vulnerable in any way. Certainly not in front of her parents where weakness would just further fuel their disdain. But here, held by Blake as her request for him to stay settled, she realised she could be open and honest with him, even if the person she was wasn’t as strong and bulletproof as she’d like the world to believe.
After all, he now knew her biggest vulnerability. Him.
Pulled tight against him, her eyes softened, allowing that helplessness she felt for him to shine out. No more masks or hiding from him. His gentle smile melted any tension, any nervousness that her request had caused, her own lips twisting up at the edges at his reassurances. Thoughts of the summer, graduating and moving away together filled her head rapidly, each notion piling on top of the other. Them, together. All the time. God, she wanted nothing more than a magic clock where she could skip the next few seasons.
No- actually, she wouldn’t want to miss another moment with him. They had so many firsts to experience together that even the thought of sleeping felt foolish, as if she’d be wasting time laying beside him with her eyes closed. But then, again no- she wanted that. She wanted the two of them curled up side by side, gently falling asleep to the sound of each other’s hearts, beating in the same rhythm and limbs a desperate tangle which promised it would be difficult for the two of them to drift apart throughout the night. She wanted it all. The now and the future.
She was about to become incredibly greedy.
His grin had her melting, heart beat doubling and unknowing how she’d hidden her feelings for so long up until this point. Why had she denied herself this happiness? He’d always, always, always been there for her since the moment they’d met. There was no reason for her to be afraid. Not when it came to him.
As he studied her, Sabrina’s hands itched to do something, settling on making a slow path up and down his arms, unable to just fully sit still under his watchful gaze. I love you. Her hands squeezed the top of his arms, a silent response to his words. She wanted to record the soft whisper. To play it whenever her mood turned or the world felt like too much. She wanted it to be her fucking ringtone, letting everyone in town know that Blake was hers and that she would have no other. Only him. Just him. Them, forever. He was want and need, desire and hope. He was hers. She was his.
Her eyes were mere beacons of encouragement, shining bright and blinding with his words. She understood, of course she did. Didn’t necessarily mean she agreed but this was not something she was going to push and argue on. They had plenty of time for pointless bickering later. “Hey,” she started, loosening her hold on his arms and giving him some space. Letting him know that she was okay (a lie, but she could pretend to settle his worries) with them not constantly touching. It wasn’t like every synapse in her body was charged and impatiently searching for his hands and his lips on her. No, no, she was so completely at peace. His teeth pressed against his bottom lip felt cruel, like some wicked temptation laid out in front of her which she most definitely couldn’t act on now as he laid out his heart to her.
She had to focus, focus, focus.
One, two, three, four, five.
Counting had saved her so many times before. She channelled her energy into it, needing something else to pay attention to beyond how stupidly handsome Blake was. The small tether of concentration she was starting to build snapped at his change in tone, the whisper and those damn tears which she could sense beneath the surface. “Shh, shh,” she hushed, hands reaching up to cradle his cheeks in her palms. “You never fucked anything up. I left, remember,” she whispered, desperate to reassure him that it wouldn’t happen again, “and it wasn’t because I thought you liked me, I was just ,” she paused, right thumb soothing the skin of his cheek, “scared.” Her lips pushed up into a tender smile, “but I’m not scared anymore, I mean, okay maybe that’s not entirely true, I had a breakdown only a few minutes ago where I was saying exactly what you’re saying now but, I believe in us. More than anything else.” She took a breath, releasing her hands and pulling Blake’s arms to the front of her with a small tug. Interlacing their fingers, Sabrina placed light kisses atop their joint knuckles, taking a moment to think before she said something wrong. “I’m not leaving again. It nearly killed me before and as long as you’re happy to run away with me and Addie, then there’s no issue.” That was the only snag she could see, and, well, it was a big one. She wasn’t sure how Blake would react to leaving the other boys even if she could recognise that they’d all be going off in different directions after graduation anyway.
“I’ve asked you to stay and I’m so sorry, Blake, that you think I’d leave again but I promise you, I can’t be apart from you, not now, not ever,” now she felt like she was the one about to cry, emotion heavy in her voice as more and more realisation of how she could have lost this, how she could have never known what it was like to touch, caress and kiss Blake. How she could have been so damn foolish. “But for now, we’ve got a birthday to celebrate,” she added, knowing they could go round and round discussing their fears. But she stayed put for a moment longer, giving Blake the space and time to react before she moved away from him.
“Okay, I’m going to go and change,” which as the words exited her mouth felt silly, surely she should have been able to just get undressed in front of him but she didn’t want him to think she was pressuring him or wanting any more from him than what he was offering. He’d seen her in a bikini before over the summer but now, just the two of them with him being able to just sit back and watch? Yeah, Sabrina only saw that situation ending with her completely naked. “I’ll be two seconds,” she promised, easing her way off of his lap and letting go of his hands painfully slowly. Placing a kiss on his temple, Brina leaned over, reaching under her pillow and grabbing her sleep clothes. “No having cake without me,” she warned as she slipped out her bedroom door. Hurrying to the bathroom, Sabrina peeled off her work uniform in record time, shoving her oversized t-shirt and the loose pair of shorts she pretended to sleep in on. Allowing herself the briefest moment by herself to take in what had just happened, Sabrina studied her reflection in the mirror. It was like looking at a stranger. Gone was the monster who’d rip out her own heart. For the first time in a long time, it felt like she was finally seeing herself - the very opposite of a stranger, in fact. Someone who was done with self-destruction and inflicting pain on herself. The girl looking back at her had flushed cheeks and a warmth in her eyes that hadn’t been there before, at least not for many years.
She was glowing. Like the full moon lit by the sun. He was her sun. The full moon was no longer the enemy transforming her into a beast. It was only so large and full of life because of his reflection. Within a split second she was out of the bathroom, only taking the quickest of detours to grab two spoons from the kitchen before returning to her bedroom. Blake had barely moved, flopping down so that his back was comfy against her mattress. Dropping her dirty uniform onto the ground, Sabrina pounced, filling the space above Blake with ease and pressing merciless kisses along any piece of skin she could find - his neck, his collarbone, his ears, his cheeks - before pausing to whisper, “I love you so much, Blake. You’re going to have to physically peel me off of you to get me to leave.” Propping herself up on her elbows, Sabrina couldn’t stop the childlike grin on her face, “probably didn’t sound that romantic.”
She knew she had to keep moving, if she got too comfortable on top of him now she’d end up investigating quite how far his restraint would go. “I got spoons,” she said, grabbing them from where she’d dropped them on her mattress, “so if you say, Sabrina, my gorgeous, beautiful girlfriend who I love will you please feed me some birthday cake, then I will.” She was teasing him now, desperate to have the mood become happier and playful. Up until this point their conversation had been so heavy and emotional. Now, she was ready to let that glow grow.
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Supernatural
Written by Megan.
76 posts.
19 years old.
ladies man.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Griffin on Jul 9, 2023 1:05:39 GMT
Relief was a cool cascade of comforting air, billowing over his shoulders and resting in his chest—lungs full and eyes falling shut for just a moment, a second of solitaire before they shuttered open and sought out Sabrina’s darkened gaze. It was okay. Everything was okay and Sabrina was making sure he knew as much. What happened in the past… it was done and over with. They couldn’t change it. He couldn’t dwell on it like this. Sabrina (God bless her, so careful and delicate as she picked the shards of blame from his bloodied palms and disposed of them) soothed the worry between his brows with her cherry-picked words, knowing how to balm his aching heart. He didn’t want it to be her fault, but… she was right. She was the one who left and he knew now it was because she was scared of how she felt, not because of something he had done. It would be slow progress, but Blake would move forward—hand in hand with his Brina Baby. He didn’t want to fall back on fear, didn’t want to have doubts ebbing into the corners of his mind. He wanted the here and the now and the perfect feeling of his girl on his lap, fingers pressed to every inch of each other they could reach in a desperate attempt to always be touching.
He believed in them too.
Together… together they could do anything. They could do everything. Sabrina was his other half, his missing piece. She completed him in a way that was fated, it had to be. Blake had always been enamored with the idea of soulmates—of mates. A true romantic at heart, and he’d always known it was Sabrina. Born wolves with a string tethered to each other’s hearts. They’d always find their way back to each other and she promised she wasn’t leaving again and like hell would he let her.
He’d go wherever she was. That wasn’t a damn question. Blake didn’t think he’d ever be able to be away from her again.
There was a small tugging at the back of his mind, a pull at his bond to his alpha. It had never been an issue before, Ashton had never been a permanent figure in their day to day lives but since he’s a constant now, what was to be expected when graduation came? Would Blake have to choose between following his alpha to Texas or his lover across the country?
Was that even a choice?
Blake was a loyal dog, a faulted fixture in his personality that had his heart breaking each time he laid eyes on Jade, but now that he finally had Brina… would he give her up for Ashton? Could he? After everything his alpha has done, has asked of him, could he really tuck his tail and trot off to the Sanctuary and abandon his girl?
He didn’t think he could.
But that was months away. Anything could happen between now and then, and maybe—maybe Sabrina would want to go to the Sanctuary with them. It would be a safe place for Addie to grow up, for them all to be. He knew if she found out about what Ashton was doing with Erin (the sneaking, the sickening slaps of skin and sweat that seeped through the walls), all ties would be severed. Sabrina had taken to Jade, finding a certain softness in the girl that was unwelcomed elsewhere. They’d be hip to hip on the couch, voices hushed in a coveted conversation that was fruitless with the wolves around, but she kept up the charade because Jade didn’t know any better. Jade circled around Sabrina when Ashton was out of sight, a safe haven in the crowd of boys. When the affair came to light, that snow globe of trust would be shattered, blistering the relationship Jade had with all of them. She’d doubt who knew and who didn’t, the betrayal a bitter sting in her throat as she tried to meet their eyes. Sabrina would lose Jade and her pack in one fell swoop because Blake knew her. He knew she wouldn’t fall in line with Ashton’s reign after a stunt like that.
He feared for the truth to come out, for it to burn his perfect little slice of apple pie life—because it would. It always did.
Now, this very moment, was a perfect example of that. No matter how hard they tried to hide it, how far they ran from it, they still ended up here. They would always end up here. The truth was inescapable.
Ashton wouldn’t get to keep them both. He’d lose everything. The game he was playing was dangerous, a palmful of fire and nails and Ashton’s hand just kept closing tighter and tighter, but that wasn’t Blake’s focus right now. He pushed it to the back of his mind, holding on to Sabrina just a little tighter as she purred all the words he needed to hear.
Stay. Can’t be apart. Not now, not ever. He hummed in approval, her voice a tingling zing along his goosebump-infested skin. Blake never wanted this moment to end, this circling conversation of confessions and love, but he knew it had to. Sabrina was slipping off his lap and Blake had half a mind to snag her hips and yank her back into place—a primal urge he fought off with slapping hands and hushed, internal bad dog’s. Someone needed to spray him with fucking water. He let her go, lips tugged in a pitiful pout, but he knew he had to. If he didn’t, they’d end up tangled in a mess of limbs and sheets and his promise to give her a special last first time would be right out the fucking window. Blake savored her soft kiss to his temple, lips softening into a smile and then a smirk as he shifted to get a better view of up her skirt as she leaned over him to get to her clothes. “You’re taking all the cake with you,” he hollered after her, adjusting himself in his jeans as she left. Fuck. Fuck. How on Earth is he supposed to keep his hands to himself when she looks like that? He knew the moment they broke that barrier, they’d be savages—ravaging one another with barely a breath between sessions. Insatiable, infatuated—so desperate for one another that it would never be enough. Blake couldn’t take it, the thought of Sabrina spread and wanton beneath him had him sneaking his hand into his boxers and pumping himself a few times to offer some relief to his throbbing length. It didn’t help, and he was his own cause of blue-balls trying to be a gentleman and he could own that. With a huff, he stole his hand away and settled flat on his back as he waited for her to come back into the room.
Those fragile moments of clarity were less suffocating than he’d expected. He wasn’t spiraling, instead settling into this new reality they found themselves in. Together. Blake and Sabrina, finally together. Dating. Boyfriend and girlfriend. If Blake could sing, he would, his body thrumming with excitement and good energy. This was forever, this was it.
Blake’s head cocked towards the door at the sound of her footsteps, catching sight of her pretty little uniform hitting the floor before she was leaping onto him as if the few seconds it would take to walk were too long to wait. They were. His laughter boomed through the air as she scattered kisses across the skin she could reach, hands flowing down the curves of her side before resting just beneath her ass. Hearing her say that (again and again and again) had his blood buzzing in his veins, fingers flexing because he couldn’t keep still.
“Most romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” he promised, voice a deep rumble in his chest as he shifted his hips to brush against the plush of her. He’d stitch them together if he could, they’d never be close enough. “I love you so much more, Brina, you have no clue,” it was a purr, vibrating with sincerity but he knew they were tiptoeing along a dangerous edge. He wanted to keep his promise so he let her shift away, a twinkle in his eye and a sparkle to his teeth as he flashed them at her. His reflection in the spoon was startling, upside down but did very little to hide the glint of lust and love harbored deep in his chestnut gaze. It was echoed in her own when he looked back to her, lips pulled so tight in a smile that he barely could say the words she requested to hear.
But if Blake was anything, he was a pleaser.
“Brina,” he hummed, purposeful in his emphasis of the ‘B’, refusing to use her full name, “My gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, perfect, brilliant girlfriend, who I love more than any other fucking thing in the whole damn world, will you pretty please feed me some of my birthday cake?” His hands had moved up to cradle her hips, fingers digging into the fat there methodically, a display of the energy he couldn’t quite quell.
He couldn’t keep still, didn’t want to lose a single second—couldn’t reach all the parts of her he wanted.
Blake parted his lips, waiting for her to shovel cake in—tongue stuck out in wiggling in a way he knew she could feel as phantom licks with the way she shivered above him.
He was losing hope on keeping that promise.
He wasn’t as mad about that as he thought he’d be.
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