Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
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Post by Sabrina Mets on Apr 30, 2022 21:25:17 GMT
Entry 1. The last time I kept a journal, I was six and my parents were going away for the first time leaving my brothers in charge. For three months I wrote down everything that had happened during the day so that I could fill them in when they returned. I thought they would care. They didn’t of course. That started a cycle where they would return for 6 months and leave for three. Until Addie turned up. Then they were here for a few years but they still went away as often as they could.
I hate them. They left. They come back but they always leave. They don’t even drop off souvenirs anymore.
I might never write in this again, it seems silly.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
|
Post by Sabrina Mets on Apr 30, 2022 21:25:55 GMT
Entry 5. I survived last night because of a hunter! My arms have only just started to feel like normal. I can only guess that Rose blew a blow dart full of wolfsbane into my leg. Whatever it was, I need some. Last night was complete hell. I’ve never been so lost, so angry, so afraid.
I’m an idiot. I should never have left. It was my birthday yesterday. I’m officially 16. Addie wrote me a card and drew me a picture of the two of us. I should have brought it here to keep safe. That was all I got. No sweet sixteen for me. It’s been two months since I saw the pack. I thought someone would send me a message. None of them did. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d blocked me.
I can’t go back now.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
|
Post by Sabrina Mets on Apr 30, 2022 21:27:06 GMT
Entry 22.
Sabrina a few months ago was dumb. Now? Now I KNOW who the idiots are. Those dumb boys. Not one of them have bothered to check on me so I have to assume they’re unable to cope without me to coddle them. They thought they’d be fine, I’m certain of it. Now their lives are falling apart (I hope).
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
|
Post by Sabrina Mets on Apr 30, 2022 21:27:31 GMT
Entry 23. I ripped out what I wrote last night. I didn’t mean a word of it.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
|
Post by Sabrina Mets on Apr 30, 2022 21:27:54 GMT
Entry 40. It’s Blakes birthday.
Happy Birthday G.I. Blake.
I miss you more and more everyday.
I nearly spoke to you at that party last weekend. I sat on the stairs listening to you talk in the kitchen to some girl for half an hour. I heard every word you whispered in her ear. I hate what it did to me. It’s been over a year now since I left, I guess the distance has made things a bit clearer. I miss you in a different way than the others. I can’t put it into words but knowing what you get up to at those parties, god it makes me feral. It makes me so glad I spike whatever I’m drinking with wolfsbane.
I know I’m no better. I’ve fucked around but it’s all a big distraction and to prove to myself that I can.
What I can’t do is be honest, with you or myself. Not that it matters, I’ll never be back in your life anyway.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
|
Post by Sabrina Mets on May 1, 2022 18:59:20 GMT
Entry 41. I was being far too dramatic last night. I don't care what Blake does as long as I don't have to hear about it. Maybe I should stop going to those parties, it's basically impossible to avoid Blake and the others. All it does is stress me out. I wish alcohol made me drunk. I'm pretty sure my brothers used to say that if you mixed it with a bit of wolfsbane that you got drunk. Or werewolf drunk that is haha. Actually, I know it can because that's what Ashton was on that night.
The night everything changed. Dammit brain, wrong date to think of after last night. There are about 6 different pages I've written out trying to rationalise why I left, preparing myself to one day have to explain although that feels less and less likely with every passing day. Half of them are ripped out, the other three basically illegible due to crying on them. So fucking pathetic. In every version I've written out, I go through the logical reasons. The ones that I feel I could sit down and explain to Jensen and he would nod nicely and say he understood. But... there's the other reason. The one where the guilt didn't come after I left but became the reason why I left. I can't write it down. I can't let it be real. I've made up my mind, I need to leave this town. I can't be tied down to it or anyone else.
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Supernatural
Written by Jasmin.
48 posts.
18 years old.
hopeless.
I am Female.
|
Post by Sabrina Mets on May 2, 2022 13:43:48 GMT
Other things Sabrina would write about: - Her hookups at party including a far too detailed ranking system which takes up the last 15 pages
- The few times her period aligned with the full moon perfectly which would often result in her getting emotional at most anything, a cat crossing the street, a flower petal falling all and other embarrassing things Sabrina wrote down just so she could laugh at herself
- The few weeks where she'd considered joining the Gold Pack
- Her worsening relationship with her brothers and parents
- The places she wants to visit once she moves out BH
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