Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
337 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Female.
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Post by Skylar Rosemary on May 26, 2015 21:44:24 GMT
WORD COUNT 421 NOTES Drama Queens OUTFIT LINK | Skylar was royally pissed off. What had started as a simple conversation about a trip to Disney had ended in a full on war between her and Jasper, but she was not ready to give up this battle yet. If Jasper wanted a fight, he’d get a fight. The two of them had arguments like this all the time, but they weren’t usually this intense. They were both just trying to make the other one feel like shit, but they were both too stubborn to let the other one win.
Skylar proved this by the fact that even after he had logged off of their chat, she was still ready to fight him. She drove to his house and walked in angrily, asking Alfie where Jasper was. She hoped that she wouldn’t run into Levi on her way up to his room, knowing that she would just try to talk her out of whatever it was she was about to do. She strutted to his room, the fury clear in her expression. When Sky was angry, there was no stopping her. She would get what she wanted or die trying.
Without bothering to knock, she flung open Jasper’s door and started yelling. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are,” she said. “But you do not get to treat me like this, alright? I have been there for you through everything no matter how hard it was for me, and you have screwed me over way too many times for me to still be around. But no. I’m still here. You know who isn’t here? Everyone else. I’m one of the only people who is stupid enough to give a shit about you, so I’m sorry that I don’t like to see you hanging around with Iris. I’m sorry that she constantly makes me want to punch her in the face. But that’s because I hate seeing you with someone else when I have spent so long trying to be that person.” Somewhere through her rant, her anger faded slightly and tears spilled over her quivering eyelids. Normally Sky would be able to argue for days without even flinching, but with this she couldn’t. It was too sensitive for her. And she was becoming angrier with herself more than anything. She knew that Levi could hear her, and she knew that what she was saying wasn’t fair to her. She loved the girl, and the last thing she wanted was too lose her because of her feelings for Jasper.
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
274 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Jasper Gold on May 26, 2015 22:22:28 GMT
i really think i hate you* * * * * Jasper had been quick to log off, and for good reason too. Skylar had a habit of pushing his buttons, and she was exceptional at it. She'd spent years figuring out how to do it, their arguments perfected to a point where they couldn't help but annihilate each other every single chance they got, whether it was arguing over really stupid things (like Disney), to discussing the fact that Skylar used to be in love with him... Because clearly that had been the most of his troubles when he was younger. Hell, juggling Sky's blatant relationship issues was just another job in the life of Jasper Gold... He'd never been very good with people - it's not like he'd ever learnt people skills from his father, and his mother was useless for anything other than sitting in bed and feeling insecure. The reality was that he simply couldn't cope with the arguing, his brain automatically switching off the circuit that lead to him feeling anything whenever the hell he just felt too bad. He didn't do feelings. His brain didn't quite operate that way. When it came down to it, he was fairly cold, but that didn't mean he didn't actually care - it simply meant he didn't quite know how else to act. He was about to calm down, streams of red seeping through the cracks in his knuckles from when he'd thrown his fist at the wall in pure frustration, not quite sure how else to calm the racing of his heart and offset the warmth he felt running through his veins. God. Why did he cope with anger so badly? But then Sky turned up, and it took all of two seconds for the warm feeling to return and his brain to flip out again, switch flicking straight off, despite how much he knew he actually cared for the girl. And yet, he could't bring himself to really think about what she was saying, thoughts racing to one up her and prove that she didn't get to pretend he was ruling her life, however unintentionally. "It's your choice to be around though, isn't it?" he asked, voice cold and bitter. "You could've upped and left at any point, but you didn't because you wanted to be here, because I even think you enjoyed trying to figure out that asshole rich kid with a superiority complex. Don't pretend that it's all my fault that you're here, because you live for drama. You live for arguing and sex and bitter childhoods, and you stuck around because I never gave you any of that shit. You had to figure me out and you couldn't, so you stayed." He shook his head and looked away from her, wiping the blood his knuckles and onto the palm of his other hand, as if that would make him feel any better. What the fuck did she want him to say, really? "Call me selfish all you want, but I'm not the one that made you stay, and it's not my fault you decided to break your own heart."* * * * *
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
337 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Female.
|
Post by Skylar Rosemary on May 26, 2015 22:54:59 GMT
WORD COUNT 263
NOTES Drama Queens OUTFIT LINK | The one thing that Skylar always hated about arguing with Jasper was that he had a way with words that she had yet to master, and it always left him a step ahead of her. But she wasn’t in this to win the argument anymore. Her anger was still there, but it was drowned out by the sadness and heartbreak because she knew he was right. She had done this to herself no matter how badly she wished that she could blame him for it. He probably could take some of the blame, but in reality she always knew what she was getting herself into.
“But you knew,” she said through her teeth. “Even if you didn’t know until I told you, which I honestly cannot believe, you still slept with me and led me to believe that maybe I actually had a chance with you when you knew that was bullshit. I may have led myself into some fantasy that one day you could be good for me, but you didn’t lead me to believe any differently.” This kind of anger was different for Skylar. Anyone that knew her well enough would know that while she seemed at the peak of her anger when she was yelling and screaming, she wasn’t really mad until she got quiet. She stared into the boy’s eyes now, tears still streaming out of her own. But she refused to acknowledge the face that she was crying. He would know, but if she let herself admit that she really was hurt, she would only fall further apart.
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
274 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Jasper Gold on May 26, 2015 23:49:05 GMT
i really think i hate you* * * * * Sighing, Jasper turned and walked away from Sky, still shaking his head as he thought of how to reply. He wasn't quite sure how to get through to her that she wasn't his property, and that he didn't in any way control what she decided to do, whether that was unconditional fucking or simply bitchy conversations about other people. The reality was that he could simply get it from elsewhere, whether that was Trick or some other rich asshole that, truth be told, he could probably relate to a lot more. The difference was that Sky genuinely yearned for the attention, and Jasper didn't actually mind giving it to her, most of the time. Flexing his fingers, the scabs that were already forming over his knuckles cracked, and he swore quietly under his breath. He couldn't be arsed with the blood right now, thank you very much. His knuckles cracked, and he quickly shoved his hands in his pockets so Skylar didn't see the blood. "I never lead you to believe anything. Not once did I ever tell you that we could happen, or that we ever would." He paused, biting his lip as he tried to figure out what to actually say, knowing that nothing would make the situation better, and still not quite finding it in his heart to do the right thing. "I didn't do anything more than treat you the same way I did everyone else - hell, I had sex with most of my high school friends, but that doesn't mean I made them think it was anything more than being horny. You decided I was giving you a chance, and it was you that chained yourself to me, why don't you get that?" It was simple, really. He turned back to look at Sky again, gaze lifting to meet her eyes before he finally finished, voice dripping in sarcasm. "But you're right - it's all my fault for being such a selfish bastard that I didn't acknowledge you like that, unlike every single horny and desperate guy we know." * * *
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
337 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Female.
|
Post by Skylar Rosemary on May 27, 2015 0:07:06 GMT
WORD COUNT 263
NOTES Drama Queens OUTFIT LINK | This definitely was not accomplishing anything. All that was happening was Jasper further breaking Skylar’s heart into pieces and leaving it for someone else to clean up. “I don’t get it,” she said, still staring him down. “When you want me, or anyone else, you’re just a horny and hormonal teenage boy. Nothing serious. But you want her and suddenly I’m supposed to think that you actually give a fuck about her? I’m supposed to invite her out to hang out with our friends despite the fact that it kills me every time I see you with her? I deal with her the same way I’ve dealt with every other girl you’ve ever seen. I pretend that I don’t care when you talk about how great of a night you had with them, and then I pretend that they don’t exist. But with her, I’m committing a sin by not liking her.” Skylar couldn’t even bring herself to say Iris’ name. It occurred to her that Levi was probably listening in from the other room, but Skylar needed to say these things. If this is what needed to happen to get Jasper out of her system, then this is what was going to happen. She would have to work it out with Levi later. But she knew that their relationship was going to be better off if she wasn’t still pining after the girl’s brother.
“But no, of course she’s just a fucking angel, and I’m just a jealous bitch who can’t seem to get over you, no matter how hard I try,” she said. Skylar knew that she could have left Jasper whenever she wanted to. She was completely aware of the fact that Jasper wasn’t keeping her there, in fact, he was more likely to be pushing her away. But it was in Sky’s nature to want to be treated like she was property. Sure, she would parade around wearing this façade of confidence but in reality it was all just a lie. Skylar was not an independent person, and she would always be latching herself onto whoever would take her in.
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
274 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Jasper Gold on May 27, 2015 0:48:23 GMT
i really think i hate you* * * * * "Maybe I just liked the way she didn't make it easy," Jasper spat back, on the verge of pacing up and down in his room just for the sake of it. It wasn't even that he was angry anymore, he was just impatient and bored of even attempting to rationalize this whole thing with Sky, because right now he still quite couldn't understand what the hell it was that made her so uptight about this. He didn't love her, part of him wasn't even sure if he really loved anyone other than Levi and his mum, because he just couldn't quite grasp the idea of making attachments to other people. He couldn't bring himself to care so much about anyone else, because it seemed a little like he just hurt everyone he loved anyway. Skylar was a perfect example of this. Jasper hadn't meant to hurt her the way he apparently did, and yet he'd done it anyway. Throw in people like his mum and sister, who clearly accused him of breaking the family apart on more than one occasion, and it seemed like Jasper just broke all the things that he held close to him. Iris was clearly an accident waiting to happen, if he hadn't already broken her in several different places. Skylar didn't need to know any of that, however, and so he just left himself blank and ignored the tightening knot in his stomach. He didn't talk about feelings unless he really had to, and he didn't really have to right now. "I mean, girls fall at my feet all the time," he explained, "but it's not like any of them ever dare to give me shit. Iris didn't give a crap who I was or how I looked, she just saw that I was an arse and never dared let me get over it. She was the one person that couldn't care less about who I was, so I'm sorry if I actually liked not being that guy to someone, I really am. But fuck you for trying to tell me I'm the selfish one, when you're the one that can't even let me be happy, because God forbid I should actually feel comfortable liking someone in this fucking friendship group." * * *
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
260 posts.
18 years old.
Relationship.
I am Male.
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Post by Nate Miller on May 27, 2015 1:07:26 GMT
WORD COUNT 263
NOTES Drama Queens OUTFIT LINK | “So that’s it then?” Skylar said, taking a step towards Jasper. “Because it sounds to me like the only reason you like her is because she’s too stupid to see past this mask you wear. You’re terrified of the idea that someone might see who you really are and still care for you regardless. You and I both know that you’re a lot more than the asshole that everyone thinks you are.” Skylar hoped that maybe that stab might get back at him for all of the cuts he was making at her, because at the moment it felt as she was lying on the floor bleeding emotions while he was still standing tall and proud. She couldn’t stand it.
“Don’t you think I would have left you if I could?” she said. “But I’m not like you, Jasper. I can’t just give up on people because they hurt me. Every time you’ve ever hurt me, I’ve forgiven you because I can’t stand the thought of losing you from my life. Maybe it’s foolish of me, but I still remember the little boy that used to be genuinely happy. And I know that person is still in you somewhere, and I’m sorry if it makes me a bad person, but I’m not going to stop trying to pull that person back out of you. And I know that it’s going to cost me everything. Loving you has already torn my life to pieces, but I made a promise to you that I’d always be there for you, and even if it was just a little thing when we were too young to know what we were actually doing, I’m never going to break that promise.” Skylar didn’t even know what she was trying to say anymore. All of her thoughts were travelling straight from her head out of her mouth and there was no stopping them.
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
274 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Jasper Gold on May 27, 2015 1:45:44 GMT
i really think i hate you* * * * * Jasper said nothing, shaking his head again and walking away from her for a second time. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, honestly, mind spinning as he clung to her last sentence. Every single thing she said other than her last words had just seemed to wash over his ears for all the good it did, brain replying the words over and over, trying to remember exactly when she'd said that, but only so he could figure out how to respond, because for once he was genuinely lost for words. Did he tell the truth, or did he let more lies slip through the silver tongue of his and let Sky continue believing what she knew now? It didn't look like he had much choice because, in the state his brain was headed, the switch was on the verge of flicking itself back over to a place he didn't want to be, and he hated Sky for that. Why couldn't she just let him be a sourwolf? His voice dropped to a low whisper then, dialing back the volume as he spoke, words spilling out of his mouth before he could even think. "But you weren't there," he sat down on his bed, resting his arms on his legs as he leaned forward slightly, voice slowly getting louder as he added, "no one was fucking there, okay? You act as if I choose to be this person, but does it look like I genuinely enjoy any of this crap?" There was a slight crack in his voice, the first and only sign that the mental wall in Jasper's head was finally starting to breakdown, the tension from the past few days finally bulldozing the usually sturdy mental block. "You think I enjoy screwing people over and switching off and just not feeling? ....I can't help the way I was brought up." There was a pause, and Jasper seemed to suck in a breath, fingers starting to visibly shake as he held his hands out in front of him, gaze slowly lifting to look at Skylar properly. Jesus, how had he managed to cut one person so deep, and not care at all? "I don't think you understand how painful it is to stare someone you love in the eyes, know you ripped them apart, and have to physically remind yourself to care about it, because otherwise there's just a blank void where your heart should be." * * *
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
337 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Female.
|
Post by Skylar Rosemary on May 28, 2015 0:41:07 GMT
WORD COUNT 471
NOTES Drama Queens OUTFIT LINK | While Skylar had no idea what it was that Jasper was actually talking about, she had a few ideas. Was his father abusive? He had always seemed to her like a harsh man, but never one that could ever go as far as to hurt his wife or his children. But if it wasn’t that, Skylar wasn’t sure what it could possibly have been.
There was a long moment of silence between them as Skylar thought about this newfound information. The right words to say wouldn’t come to her, and she was left simply staring at him for a moment before turning away to try and clear her head. Of course, she had no idea what it was like to be physically abused, but emotional abuse from a parent was nothing new to her. She’d spent most of her childhood listening to her father tell her how worthless she was, so much that she almost let herself believe it. But this wasn’t about her, and she didn’t want to make it about her anymore. It was a fatal flaw of hers, this selfishness. This notion that no one else could ever feel pain because her troubles would always be worse.
“I’m sorry,” she finally brought herself to say. “You don’t owe me anything, and it’s not fair of me to act you do.” It was a harsh realization for the girl, who had spent much of her recent years believing that if she spent enough time around Jasper and let him walk all over her, as he usually did, that it would somehow obligate him to love her back. “And I don’t know what’s going on in your head right now, hell I never know what’s going on in your head, but know that whatever happens, I’m always going to do my best to help you through it. I may not do a very good job, and heck, that’s probably both of our faults, but I don’t want our friendship to be ruined because we’re both too selfish and stubborn to admit to any faults, alright?”
This was always how this sort of thing would happen between the two of them. They would get angry, make each other feel like shit, and do everything they could to tear each other down. But then there would be a breaking point. One of them would break down, and the other would eventually apologize, and they would move on like nothing ever happened. But something about this time felt different. It was more intense. And there was one tiny detail tugging in the back of Skylar’s mind that she couldn’t get away from. “I have a confession,” she said, sitting herself down on Jasper’s bed, facing herself away from him. Levi was going to hate her for this, but she couldn’t keep lying anymore.
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
274 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Jasper Gold on May 28, 2015 1:25:48 GMT
i really think i hate you* * * * *
How to respond to that, he didn't know. Whilst Skylar had apologized to him many times before, it's just not like she really sounded like she meant it as she did then. Hell, he wasn't even sure she'd ever actually meant it before, if it all. So this time made no sense, and caught him so off-guard that he remained pinned to his seat, quaking fingers struggling to process the information that had just been released from Sky's mouth, only agreeing with half of what she was saying.
Honestly, part of him didn't quite understand what she meant. He'd never really claimed to be perfect, not in reality. Sure, he paraded around like he was a gift to the universe, but that didn't mean he was genuinely so selfish that he thought that. He was faulty, flawed, and almost completely imperfect, but he knew it and wasn't pretending to be anything else (not right now, anyway). He would as far as to say there wasn't a lot he actually saw in himself that wasn't a flaw, but was it really so surprising to see yourself as a monster when you'd spent your entire life being told that's what you were? We was a despicable person, the type that did things only shitty people did, and then couldn't even bring himself to care that he did them when the guilt weighed in on him too much. He hated himself for it, he really did, but he may as well add that to the long list of other stuff that was also dislikeable... It was times like this where he genuinely questioned how he even had friends.
After a moment, he finally pulled himself back to reality to blink up at Skylar, finally registering the last of her words as he struggled to even stay with it. He no longer had any idea what even he was thinking, mind a mess of thoughts and feelings and ideas that he'd almost forgotten he had, guilty secrets on the verge of spilling over his lips before he could stop them, and yet it seemed Sky had something to say before he spilled his soul, and he didn't mind.
After all, what were the chances that he'd actually manage to admit anything, anyway? It was safer for Sky to go first, probably, because at least she'd go through with what she was saying.
"Me too," he finally agreed, "but you first - mine's more of a guilty conscience that needs clearing." He even ventured to offer her a small smile then, even if he was only half paying attention to the conversation, the rest of his brain was scrambling over memories from his youth - memories he was sure he'd forgotten up until now.
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
337 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Female.
|
Post by Skylar Rosemary on Jun 1, 2015 16:49:49 GMT
WORD COUNT 263
NOTES Drama Queens OUTFIT LINK |
The thought of saying it was a lot easier than actually making the words come out of her mouth. But after a moment she spat it out quickly, knowing that there wasn’t going to be another moment when she had the courage to finally do it. “I’m dating Levi,” she said, turning over her shoulder to gauge his reaction. “And I know that you aren’t going to care about her being gay, even though she seems to think you will, but I just felt like you had a right to know.” Why had Skylar felt the need to say this all now? She honestly had no idea. It had almost nothing to do with what they were actually talking about, but for some reason she felt like this was the right way to say this. Even if it meant that Levi would hate her. It wasn’t like she hadn’t already done enough to make the girl despise her, and yet she had somehow managed to stick by her side through it all. Sky was completely aware of the fact that Levi deserved a lot better than her, but as much as she had tried to convince her of this, she could never seem to make the girl believe it. But she was thankful for that, even if it made her feel like a horrible person.
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