Out of Town
432 posts.
I am .
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Post by Mason Miller on May 14, 2015 19:35:47 GMT
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to jump in front of a car. Not die but to lose all your memory, to forget everything. Then maybe no one could blame you for fucking things up, maybe then would people be proud to know you, the thoughts flooded Mason's mind. He was sat on a curb, suddenly if a person took him he'd be fine with it. He had made it all the way to Blake's neighborhood. Blake was his only friend yet mason couldn't help but think Blake didn't want to see him either. Mason couldn't help but blame himself for everything. Haley cheated on him and now pierce. It was a vicious cycle of cheating so maybe mason was the one doing it wrong? A sob escaped Mason's mouth. He hadnt started to cry until now. Why did god do this to people? One of the many reasons Mason just couldn't believe in god.
Mason didn't want to die. He didn't even like the thought of death. He was terrified of it actually. He'd never actually kill himself, no matter if he wanted to or not. What he really wanted was weed. It was precious to him but he couldn't have it. He wanted it so badly. He wanted to take all of this feeling away. Relax him and help him feel a little better. If was night time...it'd be easy to take it, except the drug test...that would make it hard.
Sitting out on a street was a lonely feeling. Nothing but a street light above him and the cars that sometimes came by. Mason pulled out his phone and hesitated a moment. He went to text Pierce but decided that'd probably be a horrible. Instead he texted Blake who was listed as the 'weed king' for some odd reason. Goes to show how long it had been since they talked. 'Are you up? I'm by your house....it's kind of urgent'
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
222 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Wilde on May 18, 2015 22:37:54 GMT
When was Blake ever asleep? That was the real question. The boy had a horrible habit of staying up too late and then making a million excuses in the morning as to why he just had to be up, even if most of the time he really, really didn't. Still, Blake wouldn't be Blake if he didn't spend copious amounts of hours glued to his computer screen or secretly wishing he could just go get high - even if Braydon still seemed to be a little funny about the whole thing. Sure, the only person's opinion he really cared about was Braydon but, at the same time, he was a sucker for deep feeling of utter calm the drug came with because, whether he liked to admit it or not, he was a relatively anxious person.
It was different before the cancer, he realised. Before he was ill, he'd been the happiest, most easy going kid anyone ever really knew - he was the kid at the back of the class that got told off for whistling the Indiana Jones theme tune (even if he'd never seen Indiana Jones) and then ended up getting sent home anyway due to the copious amounts of 'inappropriate images'people had drawn on his bag. Spoiler alert, they were all of penises, and it got to a point where even Blake couldn't be arsed trying to make them all look like elephants instead. Now, however? Honestly, he wasn't sure if it was a mix of the car accident, the cancer or Braydon's effect on him, but even he couldn't deny the strings of anxiety that ran through his veins from time to time. He'd never really told anyone about it, but tonight it gripped it hard and so, when Mason texted, it took Blake all of two seconds to reply 'I'll get the door'.
Pottering downstairs in dark jeans, an oversized Christmas jumper and his signature grey beanie, he quickly unlocked the door and swung it open, allowing a gust of air to pass through the house. If anything, he was just glad he was the only one home, because he already knew what it meant when Mason called.
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Out of Town
432 posts.
I am .
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Post by Mason Miller on May 18, 2015 22:51:51 GMT
Mason watched as the door opened. He hasn't even paid much attention to the Christmas sweater Blake was wearing. His memories clouded with heartbreak. His dreams had just been crushed and it hurt. He hated this feeling, it was a feeling he wished he never felt before. His face was a bright red and the kid looked extremely exhausted. He was so that probably explained why he looked it. He hadn't been home all night. "Do you think I'd make my parents happy if I told them pierce and I broke up because I turned straight?" Obviously it was a lie but it was Blake and he felt the need to joke awkwardly when someone was upset. He wrapped his arms around himself and looked at the kid. He didn't feel bad because obviously the kid had not been asleep.
"Preston took my stuff away. Do you think?" Blake would know what he meant. Mason had not even smoked since a few days after the accident. He couldn't seem to care? At this moment he wanted to get drunk and maybe do some really stupid stuff. Turn into old mason, crash a party do something. Yeah, his coping skills weren't the best but he didn't care. It's not like he wanted to stop them either. He wanted to get high, that was it. He could be doing a more powerful drug but he wasn't. "It's not like I have car keys to ruin the night with.." the boy was still crying. He didn't even acknowledge it though. That's how mason dealt with stuff when he was hurt. He just pretended that he wasn't feeling like shit, act like he wasn't crying, get drunk, act happy, it was just a big game. It was a game that had been going on for years.
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
222 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Wilde on May 18, 2015 23:14:42 GMT
Blake said nothing, fingers pulling on the edges of the jumper's sleeves as he pushed the door shut with his foot and thought, honestly just glad that Mason had chosen this night, of all the nights, to turn up at his doorstep. Last night, he would've walked into Ellie wandering around the kitchen singing the soundtrack to Chicago (spoiler alert #2: apparently, he did, in fact, have it coming) and dancing with a chair, whilst three days ago Braydon stopped over, and only actually managed to leave this morning. Of course, Blake didn't mind, it just made seeing Mason hard sometimes, as it's not like the pair of them really got on... Besides, Blake'd been feeling particularly off tonight too, and so instead of talking he simply wrapped his arms around the kid and squeezed him tightly, mouth trying and failing to form words.
God. He'd forgotten how tall Mason was in comparison to him. Okay, so maybe everyone was tall to Blake, but Mason and Braydon had a habit of making him feeling almost dwarfish, even if he was probably still stronger than both of them. Being a werewolf had it's perks, although Blake had zero understanding on how to use them for anything useful at all. Nuzzling his nose against Mason's chest as he continued to try and think of something to say, Blake finally pulled out of the hug, blinking soberly at Mason as he offered a worried smile and replied, "sure, man. You know I'm always good for that shit." Throwing a wink in Mason's direction, he started to make his way upstairs, refusing to even acknowledge the comment about the car.
After all, Mason wasn't the only one still trapped replaying that day in his head...
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Out of Town
432 posts.
I am .
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Post by Mason Miller on May 19, 2015 2:37:41 GMT
Mason really needed the hug. He felt like complete shit and it was really noticeable. He began to follow Blake up the stairs. He sat down on the bed wordlessly. He knew where all the stuff was and got it out. When the sweet drug hit him he instantly could feel relief surround him. It wasnt because of the drug in the drug, it was just the fact of having something he missed. "I was cheated on again," mason took another hit. He wanted to relax and sleep, if he could even sleep. He hadnt even tried because he knew he wouldn't be able to. Mason could never sleep when he was upset.
Mason looked over at Blake. I'm such a fucking idiot. I fall too easily and it's ridiculous," Mason stated. He only had two loves. He dated a lot of people but those two were the ones he constantly though of. It was ironic because they were the two that cheated. Yet, Mason loved them both. He didn't say anything else. He just quietly glanced out the window.
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
222 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Wilde on May 19, 2015 7:17:04 GMT
Letting Mason roll in silence, Blake considered their usual method of 'twosies', quickly writing it off and starting to roll his own when Mason was finished - he wanted to be high as kite by the time they were done, and this was the quickest way to go about it. Nimble fingers quickly dispensed the crushed plant along the tobacco-less skin, dropping the filter at the end without really thinking about what he was doing. It was going to be harsh to smoke, but he was too lazy to even attempt to smoothen it with tobacco or just tapping it until it was even.
When Mason officially spoke, Blake didn't actually know how to feel, or even what to say. He'd never been good at helping people, and he'd definitely never been cheated on before. If anything, he'd been the cheater, going out with one girl and hooking up with another like it was all just a game. Granted, if still felt bad about it - the entire ordeal still ate away at the bottom of his stomach whenever he saw one of them, but that didn't mean he actually knew how it felt to be totally betrayed in that way. Braydon would never do that to him, and he didn't see himself dating anyone else any time soon.
"You're not an idiot," Blake announced at last, finally finding words where there previously were none. "You're just beautifully romantic, I think. You fall too easily so you crash really hard, but that doesn't make you stupid. It makes you..." Blake paused, trying to find the right word, "honorably faithful, and you have no idea how many people would kill to date someone like you."
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Out of Town
432 posts.
I am .
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Post by Mason Miller on May 19, 2015 11:33:12 GMT
Mason looked over at Blake. "I'm pretty sure everyone just sees me as the idiot that got in the car crash." Mason laughed a little,not really cause the drug but it's what he did when he felt awkward. He had killed a girl and yet here he was doing the same thing that made him kill the girl. Even if it was an accident it was kind of a sad thought. People weren't just supposed to kill someone and get off free. Still, Mason was here, smoking with his friend, his only friend. After the accident they all stopped talking to him. All his friends didn't want to be associated with him.
Even Mason felt like he should be in jail. He grabbed the keys, he did it...hhe took someone's life. He got to live this stupid life of his, a life of fucked up people and smoking, yet the girl probably had a future. He didn't really mention it to Blake because he didn't wnat Blake to feel bad. "I'm tired of it here, it's such a small town that no one is gonna ever forget," Mason said. He looked up at Blake. His mind was drifting again. It wasn't good for his mins to drift to this dark place. Whenever it did Blake ended up doing something insanely stupid, today was no exception.
He felt a little more relaxed now. "Can't your parents smell this?" Mason asked. Mason always smoked in the woods or an alley because the smell would stick in his bedroom. Then, his parents woukd get mad and probably ground him. Then again his parents were always really strict, which was probably for a good reason too. Mason want the most responsible child in the whole world.
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Out of Town
Written by Hosie.
222 posts.
17 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Blake Wilde on May 28, 2015 14:02:22 GMT
the memories i can never escape* * * * *
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Blake replied almost immediately, although he wasn't sure what help it'd be. In truth, he was just as haunted by the whole thing as Mason was, he just dealt with it by pushing it down into his stomach and smoking the feelings away... No matter what Braydon thought of him afterwards. Besides, it's not like he hadn't heard the whispering going around school and, as much as he'd never particularly minded being talked about, especially when the typical things uttered were "Weed head", or something equally drug related. Most of the time, he didn't care, but being recognized as 'car crash kid' had never been high on his list of things to be remembered for... Especially when he carried the guilt around with him every day.
"If it makes you feel any better," Blake began, although he already knew it wouldn't, and so he quickly took a long drag of the joint in his hand, sinking back in his bed, gaze brushing up to look at Mason properly. He'd never really thought about if before, but the kid was kind of cute, in the stereotypical pot-head, band-man way. He shouldn't be thinking that way, he knew that already, but the weed was starting to go to his head a little, and even he was no longer sure what he was thinking. "I don't think any less of you for it. I mean, I know I'm just as bad as you for it, but I don't dislike you. Sure, we were stupid, but if it wasn't for me then we wouldn't have been high in the first place and so it's just as my fault as it is yours. You're human, you fuck up, it's okay." Breathing out a long sigh, his gaze brushed away from the blonde again, quietly adding, "they'll assume it's medical - they's paranoid bastards at the moment... It'll be fiiine."
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Out of Town
432 posts.
I am .
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Post by Mason Miller on Jun 2, 2015 1:29:20 GMT
Mason laid down on the bed and just stared at the ceiling. "I think I want to leave," mason said. He sat up and took another smoke. He then glanced over at Blake. Blake probably wouldn't understand what Mason meant. "I mean like this bullshit town. Why stay in a place where the only people who want around are my family and even then it's just my sister. He'll I think my sister is probably going to choose Pierce's side. So like what am I doing here? I could travel and I could sell stories and I could write that book I always wanted to write. I could get somewhere Blake-so why am I here? I could be out there finding my purpose fulfilling my soul with words. I could be doing all of that yet I'm here. Why? Because I'm acted of anything else but I don't are anymore I just don't care," mason said.
He meant what he said. It wasnt just because he was high. He meant it. There he could do so much but here he wasnt able to do anything. He would always be the druggie or the weird guy who was mugged and had PTSD because of it. He decided that he needed to go. He needed to live. He felt so suffocated here. He felt that someone was always expecting more out of him and it was preventing him from breathing. He wanted fresh clean air. He wanted to be himself and not be so scared. He looked at his arm which still had the word 'fag' stitched into it. It wouldn't ever go away. "That's all I will ever be in this town."
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