Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
501 posts.
19 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Pierce Reed on Apr 27, 2015 23:34:24 GMT
Depression. It was the enemy that Pierce had been at war with for at least five years, and there were many battles that he'd nearly lost. But every time the fierce warrior that was his illness nearly prevailed, he would kick it in the gut once again, and continue to live his life as normally as a teenage, bisexual, werewolf, drug-addicted person could. Since he had been with Mason, his depression had almost vanished, but now, nearly a year into their relationship, the illness had come back with a vengeance stronger than he'd ever felt before. The red-headed boy felt as if he had no purpose in the world anymore. No one really needed him. Myra was basically grown, and she could easily live on without him. Mason had gotten into college, but was refusing to go for whatever reason. Pierce couldn't help but blame himself for that. Why else would he not take the opportunity that no one ever thought he would ever be given?
Mason had fallen asleep in his bed, as he normally did those days, but Pierce was wide awake. The feeling that everyone would be better off without him there was overbearing and prevented any idea of possibly sleeping. Eventually, he stood up and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. It was a habit that he had whenever he couldn't sleep, as if somehow the water would wash away all of his emotions. But Pierce didn't want to go back into that bedroom. He needed to get out of the house. Where he would go, he had no idea, but he needed to go somewhere.
He threw on a dirty tshirt, athletic shorts, and flip flops, and then he just walked out of the house. No note. Nothing. If anyone had seen him, they might have thought he was homeless, as he looked lost and disheveled. He walked around his neighborhood for at least an hour, trying to ignore how cold it was outside. All he wanted was for his head to clear. But there was only one thing that could really do that, and he had sworn never to resort back to that ever again. Though in that moment, it was all that he could think about. And so he went to the only place he could think of that would be willing to give him drugs at 3 a.m.
Pierce hoped that Alfie would still be awake, though he had no plan as to what he would do if he wasn't. After walking to the Gold's house, he sat on their doorstep and then called Alfie, hoping that if he was asleep, his phone ringing would wake him up.
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Out of Town
Written by HOSIE.
48 posts.
17 years old.
pizza >.
I am Male.
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Post by Alfred Smith on Apr 28, 2015 7:13:50 GMT
If there was one thing in Beacon Hill that Alfie just could't get used to, it was the silence. It didn't matter how long he'd been here, there was always something distinctly terrifying that came with night, and that's just how little noise was made after eleven pm. Whether it was simply because it was too residential and so everyone went to bed stupidly early, or maybe just the distinct lack of questionable strip clubs and blinding casinos causing people not to go out too late. Hell, from what he'd heard, the place only had one nameable nightclub, so was it really that surprising that silence gripped the land after the watershed? That didn't mean he was ever able to sleep in the quiet, however, the boy too used to hearing bangs and zips and whoops of arcade games left out on the street that were just a tad too loud to ever let the noise get reduced to the drums of the city rain.
He'd just about dozed off when his phone buzzed - the kind of sleep where you're still semi-aware of the things around you, only you don't quite know how to react to them, and so the phone rang just a little too long for anyone too be comfortable before finally getting answered, Alfie throwing pillows and duvets off his scrawny body as he scrambled for the phone, finally clasping it and pulling it off charge, wondering who on earth could be calling him at this time. He should've know.
Pierce.
This was a bad idea, a very bad idea. He'd made it pretty clear that he and Pierce were a thing of the past last time they'd spoken, and yet now he was calling at 3am, when he should be in bed with his actual, real boyfriend - Mason. He shouldn't pick up, he should make Pierce realise that he, if he had a problem, there was a boy back home that loved him very much and would talk it out with him if that's what he needed and that there was no need for him to get in. He really, really shouldn't pick up, and so he did anyway... Unlike Pierce, he hadn't quite lost his Vegas selfishness yet.
"Rough night?" he asked down the phone, voice still a little groggy as he stood up, pressing the phone against his ear with his shoulder as he started getting dressed, already knowing late nights with Pierce didn't involve sitting inside watching a film and ordering pizza (because the local takeaway service ran all the way til 4am, who knew?). No, late nights with Pierce meant walking aimless around streets, acting a little like the teenagers that people were scared the shit out of. Sleepily, he somehow managed to pull his jeans on with one hand, wrangling with the phone as he then attempted to pull on a possibly clean shirt and fall back onto his bed, the pit of his stomach already knowing that was a night that Pierce was probably going to regret.
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
501 posts.
19 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Pierce Reed on Apr 28, 2015 21:33:02 GMT
A sigh of relief came when Pierce heard Alfie pick up the phone, and he nodded at his question as if he could see him. "I'm sitting on your doorstep, actually," he said, his voice hoarse and nearly emotionless. "I wasn't sure where else to go." He wasn't crying anymore, but it was obvious that he had been for a while. What Pierce wanted from this visit to Alfie's, he didn't know exactly. He wanted drugs, or at least that's what he told himself. But there was an underlying desire for him to be able to be vulnerable with someone and not fear that he was bringing them down with him. With Mason and Myra, he had to be the strong one in their relationship. He felt as if he couldn't tell Mason about how dark his mind really was because Mason knew those feelings all too well, and if he were to bring them up then he would only cause issues between them. Alfie knew of those dark feelings, but he dealt with them on his own. He had never relied on others to be his light, and Pierce felt that he could talk to him about these things and know that Alfie would still be fine the next morning.
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Out of Town
Written by HOSIE.
48 posts.
17 years old.
pizza >.
I am Male.
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Post by Alfred Smith on Apr 28, 2015 21:59:31 GMT
The trick with Pierce was to just not ask questions. The guy had a knack for only letting words slip through his mouth when he really wanted to say them, otherwise remaining about as filtered as coffee when it came to the subjects he didn't want to talk about. It was much easier to let him just say what he wanted to say and not demand anymore, unless you had even the slightest inkling of a feeling that he actually wanted you to ask, just so he had an excuse to tell someone and didn't feel like he was just pushing battered thoughts onto someone else's brain. He didn't like the feel like a hindrance, and so Alfie had learnt to do what he wanted and keep his trap shut about his own life - to filter himself too - so that neither of them ended up feeling worse. Unfortunately, the excessive use of a filter usually ended in a period of excessive drug use, followed by a refusal to acknowledge a lot of what had happened.
It was easy enough to adjust to, if you really tried hard enough.
"I'll be down in a sec," Alfie murmured, already heading for the door - feet cloaked in yesterday's Scooby-Doo themed socks padding across carpet and down the stairs. He didn't even think twice about pulling on his shoes, knotting them loosely and slipping the spare set of keys into his pocket before sliding out the door, making extra sure that he hadn't accidentally woken anyone (especially Jasper or Winston) up whilst leaving. In truth, he was in such a haste to be quiet, he almost tripped over Pierce, who was quite literally sat on the doorstep, phone still glued to his hand.
"Guessing you couldn't figure out which window was mine in order to throw rocks at it?" he teased, plonking his arse next to Pierce's, gaze immediately lifting to gaze at the man sat next to him, clearly missing the moments they used to have like this - back when it wasn't such a heartache. he bit his lip and, after a pause, quickly added, "sorry, bad time for jokes I guess... You wanna talk, or just light up? Or both?" He offered Pierce a warm smile, wrapping his arms around himself to try and deal with the unusual cold of the night, and waiting for some sort of answer, even if was just a symbolic pulling of a lighter out of a pocket.
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Out of Town
271 posts.
18 years old.
I am Female.
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Post by Xavier Dalton on Apr 28, 2015 23:46:55 GMT
Pierce shrugged. "I figured waking Jasper up at this hour wouldn't end well," he joked back, but any comedic charm he may have had was gone and replaced with a blank stare and no expression. At Alfie's question, Pierce just nodded, reaching into his pocket before remembering that he didn't carry a lighter around anymore. It was odd how easily he could slip back into old habits. "Shit," he said, almost laughing at himself. "I forgot I was sober." Then Pierce finally looked up at Alfie for the first time since he had sat down there next to him. It occurred to him that Alfie must have cared an awful lot about him to be doing this, and without even questioning it. Of course, this kind of event was a common occurrence when they were in Vegas, but that was also when they were dating and there was no question of whether or not Alfie cared about him or not.
"I'm sorry," Pierce said. "For this, I mean. I just...I knew you'd get it, you know?" To a stranger, his words probably seemed jumbled up and senseless, but Pierce knew that Alfie would understand what he meant. Alfie had always been the person Pierce would go to when he needed a fix, but he had become more than just a walking pharmacy to Pierce. He'd really cared about the boy at one point, and while whatever relationship they had before Pierce left was probably washed away, Alfie still meant a lot to Pierce.
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Out of Town
Written by HOSIE.
48 posts.
17 years old.
pizza >.
I am Male.
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Post by Alfred Smith on Apr 29, 2015 7:17:43 GMT
"He never seems to sleep well,so I think he'd be monumentally pissed if someone like you ended up waking him instead," Alfie agreed, not quite sure why he was continuing to discuss Jasper, when clearly it was something neither of them really cared about. Still, conversation was conversation, right? And it was already better than the weeks of awkward head nods and hellos he and Pierce had exchanged, no longer quite sure what to actually do when it came to pure friendship, with no added benefits or strings attached. Besides, maybe it was just easier to talk about anyone but themselves, because whenever they started speaking in quiet words about their own despair, it tended to only bring them closer by tying knots in one of their stomachs.
At the sober comment, Alfie just smiled sympathetically, knowing that this whole thing must be a lot harder for Pierce than it was for him. After all, it was relatively easy to slip back into habits that you hadn't even tried to kill in comparison to someone that had made a concerted effort to stop. He imaged it must be hard to face the fact you'd failed at quitting, but even harder to embrace the idea that, maybe, just maybe, this was who you were meant to be anyway. Shuffling around in his pocket, he eventually found a lighter and tossed it at Pierce lazily, already knowing the kid had good enough reflexes to catch it. "It's fine," he flashed a warm smile, "I missed having someone I trusted to do this with, so..." he trailed off, now routing around in his pockets for more things - a bag of baccy, some skins, and a half an ounce of weed. They wouldn't need that much - there was only two of them - but Alfie had only sorted the bag today, and hadn't had time to sell any of it. Maybe he shouldn't carry this shit around with him, but he wasn't all that bothered anymore. Who cared anyway, in the long run? Silently, he started rolling, an automatic response to just being there with Pierce.
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
501 posts.
19 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Pierce Reed on Apr 30, 2015 4:10:03 GMT
It was a relief to Pierce that Alfie didn't try to stop him from relapsing. Pierce never saw himself as an addict, feeling that he could stop whenever he wanted to, and when he did stop it wasn't very difficult for him, but that didn't stop people from trying to act like he was addicted. "Same," he responded. "But with Mason around I can't exactly have stuff anywhere near the poor kid. He gets stupid when he's high." Alfie hadn't been around to witness the car crash that had messed Mason up so badly, and Pierce never really talked about the incident, so he wasn't sure if Alfie knew anything about it or not. It was possible he might have picked up on the gossip, but Pierce didn't know if anyone still talked about it anymore.
But Pierce didn't want to think about that now. He didn't want to think about anything really, but considering that was almost impossible, he decided to cchange the subject to something more manageable. "So, Daddy let's you do this shit too?" he asked teasingly. Pierce wasn't sure what Alfie's relationship with his father was, but he doubted they had become besties in the few weeks since he had last spoken with him. And from what Pierce knew about Winston, he didn't think he'd be the kind to let his son do drugs in his own house, let alone the house of his employer. But who knew, maybe Winston was a secret pot dealer. Pierce never could quite get a read on the man, but it wasn't like he'd ever put a whole lot of thought into the matter.
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Out of Town
Written by HOSIE.
48 posts.
17 years old.
pizza >.
I am Male.
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Post by Alfred Smith on Apr 30, 2015 6:46:23 GMT
Alfie just grinned, shaking his head as he transferred the pot from the grinder in his hand to the rolled, tobacco already laid out lazily across the small slip of paper. Sure, a joint of the two wouldn't get the pair of them as high, but he could always roll more, and it was a lot easier to simply roll more than it was to try and stomach the thing without any baccy at all. If you didn't, it had a tendency to choke you as you inhaled, making people cough and splutter than it did actually breathing it in. Without even glancing up at Pierce, he quickly replied, "he has an illegitimate son from when he went to Vegas on holiday and slept with a prostitute - I think there's a lot of things about Winston that he maybe, just maybe, doesn't want people to know." Okay, so maybe the guy wasn't a dealer, but he certainly wasn't ignorant to the world of drugs, even when Alfie had come home stinking of vomit and weed and Winston had informed him he smelled like herbal tea.. But maybe that was the point? Still, he was determined that there was a lot that he didn't actually know about his "dad", from simple things like his favorite colour to the more complex, like how he grew up and why the hell he was in Vegas eighteen years ago, sleeping around.
Finishing rolling, he ran his tongue over the skin and sealed it shut, tapping the end of it lightly against his leg to try and get it as even as possible, until finally lighting it and handing it to Pierce, not even bothering to move from the doorstep. Sure, it was somewhere he wasn't sure they were supposed to be casually lighting up at - what if the cops randomly checked the area and found them sat there? Surely that'd ruin the Gold's reputation for a while, and Jasper would be more than pissed with him..... It's a shame he didn't really care about that, and so wordlessly took a long drag before passing to Pierce, fingers drumming against his leg lazily.
"I'm guessing Mason's shit is because of the accident, right?" he asked slowly, knowing he was treading on dangers topics here. He only knew because Blake had told him - the guy had a habit of talking too much when he was high, and it was something he hadn't seemed to have gotten over yet either. Although he knew he shouldn't ask, he couldn't help his own curiousity, and so cocked his head to look at Pierce once again, prepared to be unoffended if he didn't get an answer.
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
501 posts.
19 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Pierce Reed on Apr 30, 2015 7:01:33 GMT
Pierce nodded, taking a hit before actually responding to the question. "Yeah, it messed him up pretty badly," he said. "But he's better now, I guess. He still gets weird around cars and stuff, but that's understandable." Pierce talked about it so casually now, as if he hadn't spent months watching the person he loved go through hell to get over the guilt of what he had done. But Pierce was in a state now that he felt apathetic towards everything that should have meant a lot to him. But by morning he would be perfectly fine, right? At least, that's what he assumed. But hanging out with Alfie likely wouldn't end in any kind of happily ever after.
"I have a confession," he said suddenly, deciding that if he was going to get anything off of his chest with Alfie, he might as well do it while he's high. God knew he would never get the courage to do it any other time. What he had to say wasn't exactly a confession per say, but it was something that Pierce had wanted to tell Alfie for a while and hadn't quite had the chance. It was no secret that Pierce felt guilty for what he had done to Alfie, and he wanted them to at least be friends again. If he showed Alfie that he still trusted him and cared about him, maybe that could happen. Or maybe that was too close to leading him on to ever end well. Pierce didn't know, but he was going to try anyways.
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Out of Town
Written by HOSIE.
48 posts.
17 years old.
pizza >.
I am Male.
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Post by Alfred Smith on Apr 30, 2015 7:14:08 GMT
Alfie just nodded as he spoke about Mason, understanding where the guy was coming from when it came to feeling guilty over things you done before. Sure, Alfie never held his guilt for long, it was one of those things where he'd fucked up so many times in the past that he wasn't actually all that bothered about a lot of it anymore, because he didn't have time to feel bad about things when you were too bust doing even worse ones. Still, he couldn't deny that he'd done some pretty fucked up things whilst on a boat load of drugs, and sometimes when sober but full of side-effects, like locking his own mother out of the house repeatedly because he was gripped by paranoia, and determined that she'd come home only to kill him for being the son that she didn't actually want. Suffice to say, locking her out probably only damaged the frail relationship between the two of them even more, and she was a woman with a mighty temper. He hadn't been that bad in a long time, however, but that could just be down to the lack of acid in these parts; that was probably a good thing.
His gaze had returned to the floor for some time now, but he looked up again when Pierce announced that he had something to say, having to bite own tongue to prevent himself from making a joking about Pierce confessing his sins to someone like a priest, and just how long that would take. Instead, he just readjusted in his seat slightly, shifting hit butt slightly closer to the wall so he could lean against it, making it easier to pay attention to Pierce when he was talking. The way he spoke made it sound like it was important, so Alfie didn't question it one bit, gesturing for the spliff as he gently replied, "yeah?" There wasn't that much more to say, and so he fell silent again, mind doing its best to figure out what on earth it could be.
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
501 posts.
19 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Pierce Reed on Apr 30, 2015 16:18:29 GMT
It took Pierce a moment to figure just how to put his idea into words without giving him the wrong idea. "I don't know if I still love Mason anymore," he said suddenly, knowing that if he didn't spit it out now, he never would. "I mean, I feel like I still love him, but it's not the same anymore....I don't know, maybe I'm just babbling." His thoughts were all a jumbled up mess, but he meant what he had said. He still cared about Mason a lot, but to call it love seemed like an exaggeration now. What had caused this sudden change, he was unsure, but there was a difference. Pierce didn't feel like he could talk to Mason anymore without becoming some kind of burden. Of course, the proper way to deal with this problem definitely wasn't going to his ex-boyfriend who he was pretty sure still had feelings for him, but no one ever said Pierce was good at dealing with his problems.
He went silent as he tried to remember the exact point that his feelings for Mason changed. It wasn't the accident. If anything, the accident had brought the two of them closer together. But at some point in recent weeks their spark had gone out, and Pierce wasn't sure if they would ever be able to rekindle it. Everything felt so static now. He missed the adventure. He missed not being the happy and perfect couple. It was twisted logic, but it was the only explanation that Pierce could think of.
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Out of Town
Written by HOSIE.
48 posts.
17 years old.
pizza >.
I am Male.
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Post by Alfred Smith on Apr 30, 2015 17:15:45 GMT
Well, that wasn't what Alfie was expecting.
Part of him was waiting for Pierce to confess that he never really loved him, or that the reason he never said goodbye was because, at the time, he didn’t really care anyway, and it was only now that he was all reformed and new that he realised he should’ve. He wasn’t, out of all the expectations in his head, expecting those words to fall out of Pierce’s lips, or what to do with them now they were hanging there. His head was telling him to do the nice person thing and not take advantage of the situation, but his heart felt like it’d stopped beating out of pure shock, and the only way to fix it was to be as selfish as he could with the broken boy in front of him. He shouldn’t. It wasn’t right. But, when did he ever do what was right?
Without thinking, he reached for Pierce’s hand, giving it a light squeeze as the other reached for the spliff in Pierce’s other hand, stealing it off him to take a lazy drag, breathing the remains of the smoke through his nose (ignoring the burning sensation), as he tried to figure out exactly what he should say. He felt bad for the boy, he really did, but how did he respond without coming across as the douchebag ex-boyfriend that just wanted them to break up? Damn. He needed to be higher to cope with these moments – his wired brain only ever thought of himself.
“That’s so shit, I’m sorry,” was all he could think to say at first, suddenly realising his hand was still resting on Pierce’s and so pulling away slowly, another cloud of smoke already settling in his lungs as he continued to stall for time. “Maybe you’re both…” he trailed off, realising he’d lost the words that was resting on his tongue only moments ago, head leaning back against the wall behind him as he thought.
“Stressed,” he finally finished, “maybe you’re both just stressed.”
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
501 posts.
19 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Pierce Reed on Apr 30, 2015 18:38:19 GMT
Stressed? Pierce couldn't think of anything that he was possibly stressed about. But he wasn't stupid either. He knew that Alfie was just trying not to seem like the jerk who wanted them to break up, but Pierce respected that. Maybe he shouldn't have brought up the subject to begin with. It wasn't like Alfie could give his honest opinion anyways. But Pierce wasn't really looking for advice. He just needed to tell someone about what was going on in his head, and Alfie seemed like the only safe person for that job. He could have told Myra, but he knew that she would have just told him how perfect he and Mason were for each other and that whatever he was feeling was just paranoia. Sure, Alfie was telling him the same thing, but he was much nicer about it.
"I don't know," he said, taking another hit before speaking again. "Everything just seems really stale. I know that's a stupid reason to think that it might be over, but you know me. I don't do boring. Lately I just feel like we're both bored of each other. It sucks." Pierce looked at Alfie with a sad expression in his eyes. He wasn't sure what he expected Alfie to do or say in that situation, but all Pierce really wanted was to get high and forget that he ever felt anything in the first place.
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Out of Town
Written by HOSIE.
48 posts.
17 years old.
pizza >.
I am Male.
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Post by Alfred Smith on Apr 30, 2015 19:30:30 GMT
Alfie just smiled, not at the matter at hand but rather at the memories entering his head, all the times that he and Pierce had run themselves into trouble over the stupidest things, just because they could. They were both troublemakers, born and bred - the instinct to create drama drumming through their veins as naturally as the blood it was mixed with. It was written into their hearts, painted across their brains, inked across their skin. It was natural, easy and, most of the time, it was honestly all they knew to do when in despair, a dysfunctional coping mechanism caused by a mess of problems they liked to forget by creating even more things to think about.
Gaze finally focussing on Pierce, even the purest of marijuana couldn’t blind Alfie to the look in his eyes, the sad desperation that hung onto the joint between his fingers like it was a saviour. Deep down, below all the determination that he was a changed man – a nice, good person who was in a stable relationship – the previous damage ripped into him still stung. Maybe he wasn’t as different to the Pierce Alfie knew after all.
“You ever get bored of me?” the words slipped out before he could think to stop them, knowing that wasn’t what Pierce wanted to hear, but unable to stop himself. In truth, Pierce didn’t seem like the type to go to Alfie, of all people, if he wanted real, heart to heart advice. Alfie was the kid you went to when you wanted to cause more problems, not solve them through talking, so what did Pierce really expect? He was a selfish bastard, and he wasn’t the kind of leopard that could change his spots.
“I mean, I know I was a bit of an idiot, like the time we water bombed the cop’s car from my balcony and the alarm went off, and you had to pull me from the edge because I was just staring…” He trailed off, vision blurring slightly as he lost focus on Pierce, the drug hitting him a little too hard for him to care that that was probably the worst memory to bring up, out of all of them. They couldn’t have been more than fourteen or fifteen at the time, but after being pulled from the edge, they’d both toppled onto the cold ground, Pierce’s back against the floor as he stared up at Alfie, both laughing at the sound of the alarm down on the street. The giggles died off quickly, however, and Alfie was still pressed against Pierce’s chest, lips pulled into a boyish smile as his hand tangled in Pierce’s hair, gaze locked in the deepness of the other boys eyes until the smile disappeared, and all too soon his lips were parting and pressing against Pierce’s, who didn’t seem to object.
And that’s how it began.
Lost in his own thoughts, Alfie hadn’t even realised himself shuffling ever so slightly closer to Pierce, shifting back so they were side by side again, leaning against him slightly as he reached for the joint, it not even occurring to him in his current state that maybe, just maybe, friends weren’t meant to lean so close to each other that they could smell yesterday’s cologne pressed against the other’s neck.
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Out of Town
Written by Lyssa.
501 posts.
19 years old.
single.
I am Male.
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Post by Pierce Reed on Apr 30, 2015 20:03:11 GMT
Pierce's memories of living in Vegas were mostly filled with episodes with his abusive father and planning his way out of the damned place, but his memories with Alfie were of the few things that he missed about living there. At the time he'd never realized how much his relationship with the boy meant to him, but as he looked back on it, it was one of the things that kept him living all of those years. "Of course not," he said, the corner of his mouth tugging up slightly. "I could never get bored of you." What was he saying? Was he actually admitting that he still cared for Alfie? He was too high to be doing this. Or maybe he just wasn't high enough. Either way, he knew that this was a bad decision that he would regret later. But at the same time, he didn't even care.
As Alfie leaned closer to him, Pierce leaned back towards him without even thinking about it. His hazel eyes locked on Alfie's blue ones, he just stared at him for a moment. The moment lasted long than it would have if either of them were sober, but it felt nice to Pierce to be able to just enjoy the silence that had fallen between them. It felt like they were back in Vegas, sitting on the top of some run down motel in their own little world. Never worrying about when they would have to return to the lives that they led outside of it. Slowly, as if someone had a remote on him that somehow slowed all of his movements down to half-speed, Pierce lifted his hand to cup the boys jaw, and he glanced at his lips with a slight smirk forming on his own. Then he let his eyes flutter shut as he gently brought their lips together, forgetting about anything that might have prevented him from enjoying every moment of this.
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